Losing the ones who love is hard. I know many people lose their loved ones on a daily basis, but witnessing their deaths is a different matter; a crueller, harsher way of telling you life sucks. I was eighteen when it happened, a fledgling adult who only had her bright future to think about- if my reality wasn't in check then it sure is now.

The whole family was home that night. My mother Mayu, a loving and gentle woman who believed true beauty was the acts of kindness you would show to others. I remember each Christmas she'd get my sister and me to help out at the charity food shelter, despite the gritty, numb and bone-chilling weather it helped me understand how fortunate I was and precisely how working hard pays off, allowing you to reach incredible places . My father Elijah -or 'Eiji' as people often called him- was an English business man, never surviving a day without his morning espresso and the Sudoku puzzle at the back of the newspapers, which was an activity him and I would often do together. It was a father-daughter bonding, every night after tea we would either complete a jigsaw puzzle, Sudoku and he had recently got me into Speedcubing (complete the Rubik cube at an extremely quick pace).

That night my sister Misa and I were sat in her room, talking about her upcoming career in the modelling world. Despite us actually being identical twins we were never into the same things, actually looking back on it maybe it is because we're twins that it's in our nature to have different personalities, as you emphasise that you're not the same person and we're not. Misa and I are sisters; no need to mention the twin part.

"Oh yeah! Yoshi's a good manager!" Misa chirped, bouncing up and down on her bed.

From my position on the bean bag, "That's good." I hum in response.

"Yoshi said I have to stand out from all the other models, she told me I may have to dye my hair." Misa pouted.

"Really?" I ask leaning forward, my chest now pressed against my knees, "but you shouldn't have to that if you don't wan-"

"I want to!" Misa cried. "I-no-Misa wants to dye her hair!"

"Did you just...Refer to yourself in the third person, Misa?"

Crossing her small arms she glared at her poster-covered wall. "So what if I-Misa- did?"

Then is when it happened. The robbery. My parents who at this point were sat in the living room were attack by armed robbers who broke in. My father tried to fight them off but in the unfair world of physics and biology, the gun versus an umbrella... A gun wins. Misa and I saw the whole thing from the corridor, both of us being too late to stop the crime.

The man soon fled, leaving the bodies of my parents to slowly decay and remain a mystery for the police.

Sat in the backroom of the court my mind flashed the vivid images of the night, reminding me exactly why I was here today. Feeling the tears crystallise and collect in my eyes I turn to face my sister. "Misa?" I whisper dully.

"K-Kaori. I-" She spluttered before crying into my shoulder as I did in hers as well. "I'll kill him! I'll kill h-"

"Shh, shh..." I soothe her, finding myself choke on many emotions. "As much as I want that...Man dead." I start, spitting at the word 'man' "Killing him isn't the solution."

"B-But I, he, He killed our parents!" Misa wailed. Pounding her fists against the wall.

He did, yet wouldn't we be just as bad if we killed him? The police would be after us and at the end of the day, no matter how you look at it, we'd be the new criminals.

"Misa. We can't be like him, we're not killers! Let's not sink to his level!" I exclaim, standing up to hold back her wrists. "But I promise to you Misa he will be arrested and I will make sure of that."

If only things were that easy. Attending trial after trail, verdict after verdict the people's opinions started to shift and alongside the killer's new lawyer things were looking pretty bleak for Misa and I.

Police custody, Cell no. 56

"Amane-san! Would you care to share what is so important, that you're obviously not paying attention to the rest of your classmates?"

Ducking my head away I feel a cocktail of anger, embarrassment and despair being shook- not so sophistically might I add- around my body. "No. I'm sorry Sensei."

"Don't let it happen again." He scolded me before continuing his lecture about trigonometry. I've never understood the purpose for such subject; when will I ever need to use Sin, Cos and Tan on a calculator, or know that a-squared plus b-squared equals I don't care- squared!

My walk home from school was dreary and dull, feeling as though life was had lost its sparkle and that any form of human contact will implode my humanity inside of me. On a large billboard I see my sister's face advertising fake eyelashes- she seems to be doing okay nowadays... But I suppose after three months you have to move on in some direction, and Misa now has a full-time career to distract herself with.

Tomorrow I'll be sitting my To-Oh entrance exam where I'll be competing against Japan's top students. Do I even want this? I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Yet, the one thing I do know is that I want the killer to be arrested for life.

Hirogaru yami no naka kawashiatta

kakumei no chigiri

Aishita yue ni mebaeta aku kara

Kore kara saki otozureru de arou subete

O

Dare ni mo jamasaseru wake ni wa ikanai kara

"Hello." I greet Misa as I click the answer button. She changed her ringtone to this song whenever she called, making it simultaneously both convenient and annoying to know it was her calling.

"Ahhh Kaori!" Misa cooed excitably, "Misa-Misa wanted to know when she'll be seeing you."

"I'm almost home, I had cram school today." I inform her, pinching the bridge my nose. She never used to be like this.

"Good! Because it's getting lonely here."

Shaking my head at my sister I say a quick "Goodbye" before hanging up.

The two of us now shared an apartment together, as living in our old home was too difficult to cope with. Our neighbourhood was on the rougher side of the city, tucked away in the shadows Tokyo cast its shadows upon. The harsh reality I faced was that Misa was probably going to move out soon, in fact, I'm certain of it. She never liked our apartment and she lived a far more glamourous lifestyle for me to catch up with.

But I can live with that. Whilst walking up the flight of stairs I felt slushy sensation in my stomach as I neared our apartment, perhaps preparing myself for the inevitable 'break up', if you were.

"Kaori!" Misa exclaimed as she swung open the door. Forcing me to clumsily skip with her through the door, making her assets that were on display in her debut clothes line of slut- ahem, cocktail dresses- bounce riskily in their cups.

She had changed quite significantly during the three months. Now wearing baby blue contacts and wearing low cut tops, preferring to talk in a constant 'cute and pretty' idiolect whilst talking constantly about all things 'Misa-Misa'.

"Kaori-chan would've been jealous of Misa today!"

Drumming my fingers against the counter, "Is that so?" I muse.

"Er-huh!" Misa chirped,"Hideki Ryuga was at the same studio as Misa today, modelling for his new film!"

Hideki Ryuga was Japan's oh-so-wonderful creation in the TV and film industry, starring as Akio in the film Akio (creative, right?) when he was just six years old. Since then he was everyone's celebrity crush; male and female, if you didn't admit that he had the face of a sex god... You might as well have been lying to everyone in Japan.

Given that he was a few years older to Misa and I we both fantasised about him, claiming how we'd be the next Mrs. Ryuga and live a long life together with ten children.

"Oh really now?" I smirk, "I don't suppose you put in a good word for me, aye?"

"N-no..." Misa stuttered.

Fauxing hurt I put my hand to my heart, "Oh why ever not?! How is my future husband meant to know of my existence?"

"Misa is sor-"

"No, Misa!" I cry. "Just. Stop." I plead, turning to face the wall so she didn't see the smile that was forming on my face.

Stomping her foot on our dark wooden floor "But Misa is sorry!"She wails, "She didn't realise that Kaori-chan still loved him! Misa thought that Kaori-"

At this point Misa was close to having an emotional breakdown so I immediately stop the act, knowing that it would be darn right cruel to continue this with Misa.

"Misa, I'm not mad." I calmly state, placing my hands on her wobbling shoulders. "I was messing with you. I am sorry."

"Huh?" She sniffed, "Kaori-chan doesn't love Hideki?"

Snorting I brush her comment off "Love? Oh god no Misa. You use that term way too casually, it was a pubescent crush."

This perked her up again, knowing that she had no competition (even if I was her infamous twin sister) and continued to natter on. Retiring to my bedroom I pick up the picture of our family a year prior, looking at how it looked so forced at the time as whilst we went on holiday to my father's hometown in England.

We were walking along the murky canal when two dog walkers asked if we were visiting, my father said how he's revisiting and showing his daughters the area he grew up. Then they said how they could "take a picture for you?" Making us stand awkwardly in front of a tree.

Yet, it's now my fondest picture.