a.n. Well, I obviously don't own any of these characters and story. And I must warn you this has spoilers of episode 5x21 and all its pain.
*sighs* Let's do this!
Ending.
To be honest, his actions have only reached his mind when it was over. It didn't occur to him not to put her life in front of his own. No matter what.
But it surprised him, death. He never thought it would take him unprepared again, but it did. The pain of his skin drying, the hole where he felt his heart should be. And the fear.
He was terrified of death. While life was visibly being drained from his body, he felt so scared he would have screamed, if he could.
But he couldn't.
And then he realized he was desperate to keep on being alive.
It was funny, really. During the seconds that went from his heart being ripped out and seeing Bonnie on the hall, he thought of the irony of never wanting to be alive so bad, and dying. It's been such a long time, and even though life's kicked him from all sides, he had energy and joy running through his veins like he's only experienced as pure and human Stefan Salvatore.
Maybe it was it; he had to go through so much, move by such tough moments, his grip on life and the chance to keep on moving tied harder.
Of course, the fact that his relationship with Elena and mostly Damon had improved was a huge motive. That he finally could see their happiness without feeling broken, or that he could talk and be around Elena. And that he and Damon could, after oh so long, become brothers again. Like they used to, over 150 years ago.
Just the thought of it gave him such longing, nostalgic, feelings. Such sadness. It alone could break his gone-heart into a thousand pieces.
It was, too, because of her. Caroline. Her presence and her sunny personality and the way she could make him feel so good. About the world, about himself. How being around her was the easiest thing, and how he was always able to put a smile on her face. And the way his heart filled every time he thought of her.
The thought of living flooded his mind. He couldn't die, not now. Not when he had so much to live for. Not when he had love, and friendship, and peace of mind.
He found himself holding so hard into hope it was almost as if its thread was the one keeping him grounded.
But that was it. He should have known, though. That that was it.
It was too much light, he should have known. He loved too much, and he felt loved, too.
And that one thing he had retrieved, that chance of a happy ending.
That was it.
His hope so crushed it felt physical. He closed his eyes, so desperate, so defeated.
And then he thought he was never meant to win, before accepting his long lost end.
a.n. Okay, so, yeah. At first, Stefan's death made me so mad I even wrote something about it lol It felt too fast and rushed and he was almost angry at Bonnie and that felt so off. I felt so betrayed cos I love him so much and his character is so dear to me. But then, as I always do while reading or watching something, I started to think on context, on what he must have felt, or at least on an explanation for his behavior. And then this happened. Honestly, I think it's one of the best things I've ever written (I can assure you that's really unusual). It's just how I view Stefan's feelings towards life, and hope, and love. So it's fine if you don't think he thought some things, or if you think he felt others. Just review your opinion and let's talk about it *winks*
I don't know, I'm just happy I came up with this.
Oh! And English isn't my first language, so feel free to correct any mistake I might have made.
Be safe,