AN: I couldn't help myself. For the people who read "I've Never Been One For Happy Endings" I AM working on finishing it. I know how I want it to end, just not how I'm going to get it there. Hang tight, I will finish it...eventually.
Anyways, the song's "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts, they're pretty bomb, if you ask me..which you didn't.
Disclaimer: I don't own South, such a shame. I don't own the song, another shame. So don't sue, I'm saving my money for concert tickets(:
'Shit which ones the table spoon and which ones the teaspoon?' I muttered to myself as I hurriedly tried cooking for Spencer. She called me earlier saying she was on her way, she didn't sound like herself, so I decided I'd cheer her up by preparing a romantic dinner...I think we'll end up having pizza, but she thinks it's cute when I try and cook for her, so it's a win-win for me.
I wish that night ended like I wanted it too, curled up with her in my bed just enjoying having her there with me. I had recently moved into a more secluded area, outside of LA because of paparazzi were becoming a problem. It was near the mountains, I remember loving being able to hear Spencer as she was nearing my cabin. She'd always borrow Glen's truck for the drive, her family didn't trust her small car to drive that far, Glen was happy to lend her his truck...mostly cause I'd pay for his gas.
I smile a little as that thought crosses my mind, I wonder how her family's doing.
"You guys have been an awesome crowed, unfortunately the end of the show is here..' I smile as I hear the crowed groan, not wanting the show to end. 'Well...now that I have you in a somber mood, I think it's time to slow things down a little. This off my new album...I think everyone here knows who and what it's about, so I'll save you that story. Here's 'Here Comes Goodbye.'"
As I sit on the piano bench, I go back into my memories. I remember that day. The day She left me.
I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And it's not like her to drive that slow when nothings on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell
I frowned as I realized she was driving so slow. That's always a sign somethings really wrong, she's usually a speed demon. No, nothings wrong...maybe there's just a really good song on. She always drives slow when there's a good song on. I run to the living room and turn on the radio, checking all her favorite stations...nothing. As she approaches the porch, I run back into the kitchen, I don't want her knowing how crazy she makes me sometimes. Then my doorbell goes off, why is she ringing the doorbell? The doors unlocked...even if it wasn't, she has a key. Oh no, somethings really not right...what if she's leaving me? I question myself, then try and rationalize, maybe she forgot the key? Then I opened the door, the second I saw her...I knew.
Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
'Ash...'
'Spence...What's wrong?' in the longest second of my life, I tried to convince myself she wasn't going to say it. She loved me...yesterday, we were fine..perfect even. What happened? No no no, please don't say it Spence.
'I..uh..can I come in?' She asks as she wipes away a tear I didn't know escaped me. In that instant I knew, that wasn't the only tear that would come out of this conversation.
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye
I felt my heart drop. I didn't know that was possible, but it happened. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I felt her words push it further down for me to digest. She didn't want me.
'Ashley...'
'No Spencer, do not do this, please? I'll quit music. I won't tour ever again, I'll go back to just song writing and not performing. I'll do anything. I'll give up anything. Just don't say what I it.
'I met someone at school.' I didn't know she was going to say that. I thought maybe she 'needed space' or 'hated my guts and was disgusted by the mere sight of me'...not this. Not someone else. Wait...she..no, she wouldn't would she?'
'You cheated on me, didn't you.' It wasn't a question. She did.
'I'm so sorry, Ash.' She said breaking down crying. I wanted to comfort her, wanted to make the pain go away, but I'm not what she wants. Some tramp at UCLA is.
I can hear her say "I love you" like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play Here Comes The Bride
'I love you Ashley, always. You're my forever. I promise.' She used to tell me those words to me almost daily.. I feel like she said it just yesterday, but I realized she hasn't even told me she loved me in a month. I remember the look in her face as she would tell me she loved me. I could tell our love was once in a lifetime. She'd never felt this way before.
We talked about her dream wedding, I planned on giving it to her, somehow. She wanted violins to play 'Here Comes The Bride.' she said it was her favorite instrument, and she couldn't picture her wedding without violins playing for her. I was ready to give her that.
But here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
'I didn't mean for it to happen.' Do they ever?
'I know.'
'Ashley, talk to me!'
'I-I..What does this mean Spencer?'
'Goodbye.' She said as she stood up.
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye
There was the pain. My heart had sunk as low as possible. Her words digested, and I felt again. I wish I didn't. I feel my heart struggle to beat. Can you really die from a broken heart? Cause I just might. I thought we were perfect. I don't know what changed...but I wish they didn't. I wish I could go back in time, fix what went wrong, so tonight...we could have had the romantic night, and snuggled up close, with her in my arms, like I thought it was meant to be.
Whys it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on
Yeah, and you're left alone
Oh! But here comes goodbye! Oh!
Why did it have to go from being perfect to being nonexistent. We overcame so much, we broke up and got back together. We said things we didn't mean, and said things we meant with our whole hearts, but I never thought we'd say goodbye. My legs suddenly began to work, I ran out in the street hoping to catch her before she drives off. She turns on the brights, drives off, and turned the corner. I was left alone.
Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
We had said goodbye. That was the last time I ever saw her. I couldn't sleep for days, I couldn't eat...I couldn't even go to my bedroom. I grabbed one of the many framed photos of Spencer and I, and sat on the floor of my kitchen. Crying.
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye, ooh
She killed me when she said goodbye. I don't know what I did wrong. Four years together...gone, for someone else. I never saw her graduate college. I never took her out to celebrate her first job...I wish things could be different. I wish I could hold her in my arms just one more time. I wish we had the happy ending I always imagined.
Kyla came over two days later. I hadn't moved. I embraced the feeling of numbness as it overtook me again.
'I heard what happened Ash. Spencer doesn't deserve you.'
I felt again. The pain stronger than anything I've ever experienced. I was crying in her arms for hours asking them what changed, why things couldn't stay the same. I told her detail by detail the day Spencer said goodbye.
As the song ended, I looked up and didn't see the 30,000 people, I saw Her.
At my concert.
Holding someone else's hand.