Just There
by Lacrimula Falsa

Disclaimer: All praise the Great Bird of the Galaxy. I do not own any part of the StarTrek franchise/universe. Written for the joy of writing, not profit.

Summary: After Deanna regains her empathic abilities at the end of "The Loss", Data comes to her quarters to ask some questions. And to make a confession.

A/N: This takes place directly after "The Loss". I'm not too sure about the layout of Deanna's quarters and hope the timing of things makes sense; tell me if I messed something up. Reviews (as always) are highly appreciated.

Deanna Troi was sitting in her quarters, a scented meditation candle burning on her coffee table, eyes closed as she tried to relax her tense muscles and overwhelmed mind.

It had been but a few hours since she had regained her empathic abilities, after losing them that same day, and she felt more exhausted than she ever had. Her muscles ached and her head spun.

But where the buzzing of people's emotions all around her might have annoyed here in such a situation just a week ago, she now embraced it with all her heart.

When she had made her way to her quarters, about fifteen minutes ago, she had been hard pressed not to kiss or hug everyone she passed. Just because they felt so wonderfully real again.

And when Will had called her, just after she had entered her rooms, telling her to reign in her enthusiasm a little because he felt a migraine coming on with all her projecting through their mental bond, she had burst into laughter and had laughed until she had wept.

Deanna didn't know how she had ever found her empathic powers annoying or why she had sometimes wished them gone.

Hindsight really was easier than foresight.

The chirping of the door chime interrupted her rather futile attempt at meditation.

She sighed and blew out the candle. Oh well.

"Come in, please."

Data stepped through her door, wearing his usual non-expression.

"Good evening, counsellor."

"Data, what can I do for you?"

"I merely wished to 'pay you a visit'. A 'social call', so to speak. I had hoped that I could ask you a few questions in regard to your recent…loss. If the subject is not too personal. I could understand if you would not wish to discuss it. You seemed to be affected quite strongly by the event."

"Oh dear!", Deanna thought.

If Data had so easily noticed how 'affected' she was, she most likely had been just as 'bitchy' as Will had implied. Or he was just more observant than she gave him credit for. Or both.

She smiled mildly at the android.

"Oh no, Data, it's alright. Why don't you sit down and then we can talk. Would you like anything?"

Data raised an eyebrow at her offer, but politely declined and sat down on the sofa.

"So, spill it. What did you want to know?"

"Spill wha…Ah! An expression."

"You are learning Data. So, your question?"

"In the observation lounge, when you told us that you had lost your empathic senses, that we were all…blank to you… I was wondering if that is how I always appear to you."

Oh.

That was not what she had expected at all.

She had also not expected that she would be unable to answer that question.

The realisation hit her like a ton of duranium. She had no idea how Data 'appeared' to her. Why had she never paid attention to that?!

Curious and a little embarrassed, Deanna focused her empathic senses on the man sitting beside her.

She felt…nothing.

But that wasn't quite right. There was…something. Something like a muted, hazy impression of a...personality. Almost like someone had tuned down her empathic powers to almost zero.

No, that wasn't right either.

It was more like…something was 'dulling' Data's…feelings? His personality? The empathic impression of it?
She couldn't say.

Data's voice pulled her out of her musings.

"Counsellor! Is everything alright?"

He was actually touching her arm, scanning her face for any signs of distress.

If anyone had told her right now that Data couldn't feel concern, she would have laughed in their face, possible Admiral's rank notwithstanding.

"No, no, I'm fine. I was just really focused."

"You did not answer my question."

"Well, to be honest, I don't think I really can. Not definitely anyway."

"Please elaborate."

Deanna sat back and folded her hands in her lap.

"Well, I do perceive you empathically. But you are still…blank to me in a sense.
With most other people, I'm able to sense their emotions, their feelings. Even with Vulcans, I can feel their…emotional presence. The calm and rationality they exude. Sometimes even a trace of their suppressed feelings.
But what almost all people I can 'read' have in common is that I feel a distinct and very clear impression of their personality, of their presence."

She gestured vaguely with her hands.

"I can sense a similar impression with you but…it's blurred. Hazy. Like looking at a picture through frosted glass.
Actually…it's more than that. It's…dimmed.
Like someone tuned down the volume on an audio file, so you can barely hear the tune. It's also a less distinct, less sharp image. I can't feel anything specific, just a general presence. I don't sense your feelings."

She sighed and pushed a hand through her curls.

"It's really…hard to explain. What I mean is… There's no detailed impression like with the others. You're just…there."

When she looked up, she fully expected a completely befuddled expression.

But Data looked…delighted. Or as close to delighted as he could get. She would have sworn there were light bulbs behind his eyes the way they were glowing.

"I hadn't expected that to make you happy."

"I am not able to…"

Deanna's forbidding expression actually made him swallow the rest of his sentence.

"It is…assuring."

"Assuring?"

"Yes. To this day, I laboured under the assumption that you could not 'sense' me at all, further proving my inability to harbour any kind of emotion. And if I could never achieve emotion, I could never really be human.
But if you can sense a blurred 'impression' of me, does that not mean that something is there? That there is a basis on which I might be able to expand? Now the 'image' is hazy. But maybe there is a chance that it will clear?"

Data tilted his head and after a short pause said quietly:

"Until now I assumed that the emotion chip Lore stole would only enable me to emulate emotions. But if you can sense my…presence…"

He uncharacteristically trailed off and then said very reverently:

"Maybe I could…feel them."

Deanna would have been tempted to say his voice sounded longing.

"Data, do you want to experience emotions?", she asked in a curious tone.

"Well of course counsellor. They are an integral part of the human condition. Some might even…"

He was cut of by Deanna throwing her arms around him, smiling broadly.
Data stood still for a few seconds, then he put his arms around her, lightly patting her back.

"Counsellor?", he prompted when she still held on after half a minute.

"Oh don't mind me, I'm just happy. And you really need to start calling me Deanna off duty."

"I will if you wish. I would offer you a first name basis in return but seeing as I have no last name…" He spread his hands.

Deanna finally pulled away and gave him a dazzling smile.

"You know, talking to you can really enlighten someone."

She suddenly yawned, her exhaustion hitting her again after all the excitement of the day and all the thinking and heavy feelings.

"You are tired.", Data remarked. "I should not keep you from resting."

"Well, I don't want to throw you out but I think it's time we said goodnight."

"Well, then goodnight couns…Deanna."

"Goodnight Data."

He was already halfway out the door when she called out to him.

"Data!"

"Yes?"

"Stay happy."

The End

A/N: Well, I recently re-watched "The Loss" and this is the result.
I always wondered if Deanna could 'sense' Data in some way before he got emotions and this is what I came up with. I hope you enjoyed it.

16 May 14: A big thank you to konarciq for pointing out a handful of spelling mistakes and proofreading the story for me. I fixed those errors (and hopefully missed none).