The characters of Harry Potter are the intellectual property of JK Rowling - I'm simply borrowing them to add angst to their dull lives :)
Welcome to another segment of MWAHA. This one can be considered to be set before, during and after 'Losing at Chess' by Ariaeris. As some of you may know this has been in the works for a while before my plunnies became suicidal and all the characters kept dying - which totally doesn't make sense considering all the stories that come after this one. So we must thank Ariaeris who lent me the incredible plunny culling machine - also known as the obliviate spell :) Good stuff. The plunnies never knew what hit them.
We have angst my friends. Glorious Angst!
Warnings for everyone now please read warnings this story has religious overtones. If I offend anyone I apologise but I warn you now that this has christianity bashing. THe view points expressed by the characters are not what I believe nor are they symbolic of Christians. I have nothing against religion and people should be able to express theifr beliefs as they see fit. With that said flaming me for anything to do with religion in this chapter will have you met with scorn - I've warned you so its pointless reading something that will make you unhappy.
Enjoy
Forgive him his Sins
"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34)
When Harry Potter was five years old Petunia Dursley dragged him bodily to a church after he performed a feat of, what he knows now to be, accidental magic. As she shoved her nephew onto a pew directly in front of the crucifix the yound boy could only stare at the paintings around him in a mix of awe and horror.
Petunia Dursley had decided she was going to teach that malicious little beast she was burdened with his place in life. As she wrenched his face towards the image of the crucifix she spoke in a deadly whisper
'Do you know who that is? No, I doubt a little heathen like you would. That is the only son of God, sent to Earth as the salvation of humanity. But he was overpowered by the sins of vermin like you and your parents. He died before he could fulfil his mission. He forgave the sins of humanity and the cretins that make up your kind killed him. Do you understand that? You killed the only son of god and you're going to sit here and not move until I decide you're sufficiently repentive'
With that said Petunia Dursley left her young nephew staring terrified at the graphically detailed image of Christ with his face contorted in the throes of agony, blood and tears drips down his body and a crown of thorns wedged tightly in his skull. Harry Potter sat there with his Aunts' words reverberating throughout his mind as he begged God to forgive him for killing his son. It was an event in his life he would never forget.
Marcus Flint was never sure why that particular story Harry told him one night stuck out in his memory. Harry had a lot of horrific childhood memories that he accepted as normal events of his life and that particular one was far from the most brutal or the most negatively impacting on his psyche. Maybe it was because Marcus didn't quite understand who and what this 'god' was. He had heard of him before, of course. How could he not when muggleborns insisted on calling on him at times or asking him to help Marcus. He never did understand why they did this but he figured it was some muggle politician or something. He was even more confused over the point of this 'gods' purpose when Harry explained it to him. To Marcus it sounded like people were using 'god' as an excuse for their behaviour. However, Marcus did find some interesting parallels between Wizarding society and this 'one god'.
According to Harry muggles taught that 'God' was the creator of the universe – omniscient and omnipotent requiring the submission of all those he ruled over without them ever realising how brain-washed they were. To Marcus it sounded startlingly like Dumbledore and the sheep who were his followers.
The next bit really puzzled Marcus. From what Harry said Christ was the only son of god and he was sent to Earth to save the chosen people of god's kingdom. To forgive them their sins. It was perhaps the greatest parallel he had been able to find between British wizarding society and the muggles. Harry Potter had become the Christ figure to be sacrificed for the sins of the many. He was there to save Dumbledore's chosen people from the physical manifestation of their sin taking form in Voldemort. Dumbledore's golden boy.
But Harry had told Marcus that sometimes people stop believing, and Marcus could understand that after all many purebloods had stopped believing in Voldemort's ways by the end of the first war. Sometimes, Harry had said, when you keep praying and begging and nothing changes your faith can mutate. Love turns to hate and what was once the light shining on your life turns into a leech sucking the life out of you. If his god was omnipotent and omniscient why didn't he help, why didn't he stop them, did he not care enough to do anything or was it all for the greater good. For some people god became the enemy – twisting the world to his own amusement.
Halfway through Harry's spiel Marcus had begun to think that Harry also saw the parallels between god and Dumbledore. As he spat the words 'greater good' Marcus wondered if Harry even knew who he was talking about any more.
As they sat in the Order meeting Marcus reflected on Harry's 'god' nature. The public often treated him as Marcus knew the old gods and goddesses had been treated – adoration and vilification as the seasons dictated. As Dumbledore masterfully manipulated the seasoned Order members Marcus wondered if Harry was similar to Dumbledore. Did Dumbledore remember that he was not really omniscient and omnipotent, that he did not control the universe, that his actions had consequences, if Harry ever started acting like that, Marcus wondered if he would be able to stand by him or would their relationship fall apart? Shaking his head at the depressing thoughts Marcus turned back to the meeting with a strange sense of oncoming doom.
Marcus stumbled through the front door of 12 Grimmauld Place after the portkey deposited him in the street and saw the image of Lady Black peer at him through a gap in her curtains. He trudged up the stairs, past the decapitated heads of the Black Family House elves and eventually reached the room he shared with Harry. After undoing the various locks and wards which had kept the room inescapable he entered the bedroom and his eyes locked onto Harry. His beautiful Harry, who was huddled in the corner of the room leaning against the wall. His beautiful Harry, whose face was contorted in a picture of agony and anguish even in sleep with rivets of tears streaking his pale face. Drips of blood flecked across his skin from where his nails had broken the skin when he had gripped his arms in despair.
Marcus knew as he stared at Harry that after his actions, his murdering of another human being, Harry would never be able to forgive him. His Harry was so innocent and didn't deserve a monster holding him down. It was time for Marcus to say his silent goodbye and leave before his, no not his not anymore, before Harry woke up and saw him for the monster he truly is. Marcus did not think he could possibly live with that sort of rejection. As he silently began to gather his belongings Marcus, to lost was he in his inner despair, never noticed Harry waking up or the pain that flashed through his eyes as he saw Marcus pack.
'Marcus' the whispered word shattered the silence and caused Marcus to spin around to face Harry in his surprise. Shock was evident on Harry's face as he took in the ruffled condition of Marcus' clothes, the anguish in eyes and the incredible despair that seemed to pulse from his body.
'What have I done...'
The question was asked with such feeling that Marcus found himself kneeling in front of Harry almost immediately and rocking him back and forth to calm his shaking.
'When...I...I never meant for it to happen like this. Please, Marcus. Please believe me. I never wanted you to be hurt. I shouldn't have done it. I should have thought it through more or...or found someone else. And you didn't even know. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.'
'Harry'
'Please Marcus, I love you, don't leave me. I won't do it again. I promise, god just don't leave me'
At some point during his hysterics Marcus managed to drag Harry over to their bed and settled down beside him as Harry gripped his shirt with all the strength he had in his desperate state. Lying together Harry told Marcus of his manipulations, of his plans, of tricking the Order and Dumbledore into believing that it was Dumbledore's idea to have Marcus spy in Voldemort's inner circle, to use their love as a means of defeating the Dark Lord. As Marcus listened, as he realised that Harry's manipulations had turned him, Marcus, into a monster again, he could not help but wonder if he would always love Harry, if he was already being corrupted by his power, would his love perhaps turn to hate – would he revile the very thought of Harry by the end.
'...then I was locked in here and you were gone and I realised that it wasn't worth it. You are worth so much more to me than defeating Voldemort, you mean so much more to me than all the Wizarding World. I can't lose. My life would have no meaning; I'd be an empty shell without you. Please Marcus.'
'I'm a monster Harry. What I did, the people I killed, how can I ever look at myself in the mirror again, how could you ever look at me the same? Knowing what I've done, what I'll have to do again when I go back there.'
'You won't be going back! Not anymore. It's going to end before you have to. I'll do whatever I have to, to make you safe. You don't even have to forgive me.'
'I'll always forgive you Harry,' even as he said the words Marcus knew them to be true. He knew that despite everything, no matter what Harry did, even if he became corrupted by his powers and became an even greater evil than he was fighting, Marcus would always love him. Marcus would forgive Harry his sins.
'I'll always love you Harry, but I will always have to remember what I did. What you and Dumbledore and Voldemort forced me into doing. How are we meant to get past that? How can we pretend everything is alright, when all I can hear are children and adults screaming in my head, all the time? It won't stop and we'll both be forever questioning everything we do with each other, whether it's real or not. I don't want that.'
'I just want you' Harry's reply was quiet and raspy but there was a harsh and cunning glint in his eyes as he pulled Marcus closer to his own body. Silence swallowed the two of them and Marcus began to drift into sleep as Harry ran his fingers up and down his side. The last thing he heard before sleep darkness claimed him was a softly spoken
'forgive me'.
'Obliviate'
When the word slipped past Harry's lips and the spell hit Marcus, Harry knew that from this point on there was no turning back. He knew he would do anything in the world to protect his Marcus, even if it was to protect Marcus from Harry's own actions. Marcus' sleep was peaceful and Harry knew instinctually that Marcus' memories of the evening, his actions on behest of the Dark Lord and Harry's own manipulations, were gone. For Harry it appeared the lesser of two evils and would hopefully be Harry's last manipulation of Marcus.
With an inhuman silence and grace Harry rose from the bed and dressed quickly in clothes he had set aside for exactly this situation. He knew the truth of the words that he had told Marcus, this was the end, there was nothing but Voldemort standing between Harry and a future with Marcus and he was going to kill him or die trying because living in such a state of suspicion and manipulation was no longer worth it. The end was nigh.
After dressing Harry stood at the end of the bed and simply watched Marcus sleep, imprinting the image in his memory as it may very well be the last time he saw Marcus. Harry debated whether or not to leave a note and eventually settled for a quickly scribbled I Love You, setting it gently by Marcus' head before turning and leaving the room without looking back.
Harry descended the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible before pausing beside the curtained image of Walburga Black. He turned to look at her eyes peaking through the slit in the curtain and he couldn't help but smile bitterly and say,
'Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil'
he strode forward and out the door, the only evidence of his leaving was the quiet words floating through the entrance hall and the crack of apparition as Harry Potter left to end the war.
The last quote was psalm 23:4
I told you the weapon was a obliviate - it put the plunnies in their place and helped me end this part without everyone crying hysterically from the depressing nature of the story.
Yay Harry's going to kill Voldy and if we're really evil we won't even write a story about how it happens
mwahahahahahaa
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