Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, though I wish I did.

I wrote this story while I was angry.

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Ed was walking around with his brother around army headquarters for some reason. (A/N Why is that in bold type? I. don't. know.)

Suddenly Something in his head snapped. He stood there a minute, eye twitching with a stupid expression on his face. Al stopped. "Onii-chan? Are you ok?" Suddenly Ed blinked.

Just then Roy came around. "Hey, pipsqueak. Need a booster seat?"

Ed turned around and punched Roy with his automail arm. "What the hell is your problem?!" Ed shouted. Riza ran around the corner. "What happened?" She gasped, seeing the bloody colonel. Ed turned around. "Wanna know what my problem is? Huh? My father ran off, my mother died, and my brother has been reduced to a suit of armor. I lost my arm and leg. My only possible love interest is a bipolar schizophrenic mechanic. I can't trust anyone but myself. I can't trust my employers, my friends keep on dying, and every time I want blueberry pie, the cafe doesn't have it! And you! Yoooou. You never show emotion, what are you, borg?" She looked surprised. "That's better!" Ed shouted, and ran down the hall.

Louis Armstrong suddenly appeared with pink sparkles all around him. He was about to crush Ed with a hug, but Ed kicked him in the stomach.

Louis was pushed back a little. "How the fuck does your body not snap in half? Ever hear of anatomy?" Louis looked puzzled. "Anna Tommie? Who's that, Ed?" Alex asked.

Ed ran down the hall shouting "AGHREDXNEUIAEDBFBE" (A/N That doesn't mean anything.)

Suddenly Winry ran up and threw a wrench at Ed's head. "What the fuck, you crazy bitch! I haven't broken your precious automail yet! Are you trying to give me a concussion?! Oh, wait, I forgot you care more about your automail than my life!" She started crying and ran away.

Lust walked up with Gluttony behind her. "Hello, human sacri-" Ed turned around. "What's your problem? Not enough nail polish? Oh, wait, it looks like you lost all of your bras!" Lust grumbled about wanting to kill him and turned around. She started to walk away and Gluttony was about to follow her when Ed stopped him. "Wait a minute, I'm not done with you." Gluttony was pretty angry about Ed insulting Lust. "What are you? Why do you eat so much, cannibal? Try a diet, you fat fuck!" Gluttony was about to eat him, unintentionally proving Ed's point when Lust called him. He scuttled off to join her.

Then Envy walked up to Ed. "Hello, chibi-san." Ed whirled around. "And you. Are you a guy or girl?" Envy stopped and thought for a few seconds when Ed piped up. "What the hell? You need to even think about that? Wow, you're stupid." Ed ran to the middle of the street.

"MY LIFE SUUUUCKS!"

Suddenly the alternate universe folded in on itself, and imploded because Ed acknowledged his life is a living hell hole.

The End.

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R&R please. If you liked it and give me a nice review, thank you, kind person!

If you didn't like it, sorry to hear that.