Murder in Mathematics

AU. Dark Humour. Many Pairings. High School. Let's do this.

The media was everywhere.

Konoha Academy, once a normal school for eleven to eighteen year olds; a large, old building with peeling orange paint and grass covered in litter, had become a hive for journalists and camera crew. Men in florescent green waved on cars towards the parking zone, helping them avoid the masses of moving children and prowling photographers. Tired police men and women, at the school all night, stood stationed around the site, teachers and pupils alike waited by on the way into school, ignoring instructions to enter the building to clear space.

It was utter pandemonium.

"What the hell is going on?"

Sakura Haruno, stood by the school gates with her friend Sai, took in the scene. Walking into school, she had not expected to see this. Everybody, whether stopping to contemplate or watching and walking, was confused.

"It appears the press have some interest in our school," answered Sai, black eyes scanning the situation before him, "I wonder if we have missed some kind of event?"

Sakura shook her head, "What kind of school event could bring in this kind of crowd?"

A body flew out from the walkers. Kiba Inuzuka now stood beside the two of them.

"I heard," he said immediately, "That there's a hostage situation going on. Lady Tsunade's gone bonkers. Taken Miss Shizune as her prisoner."

Sakura frowned after the brief shock of his surprise arrival, "Oh brother, don't tell me you believe that Kiba? How could that possibly be true?"

Kiba shrugged, instead pointing forwards at the mass of camera crew and television reporters, "I dunno. Hey, is that Naruto?"

Indeed, far ahead where the media had congregated, Naruto stood, his blonde spikes easily recognisable even from far away. He stood waving behind a tall man adorned in a suit and holding a microphone, talking into a camera.

The three moved on down the school driveway, calling Naruto when they reached near him. The blonde happily ran across the road to them (narrowly avoiding being hit by a slow moving car), clearly very excited by the whole situation.

"Hey guys! We have to watch the news later, I think I'll be on it!"

"Naruto," Sai began, "Do you know what is going on?"

Naruto shrugged as the now foursome made their way slowly to the school entrance, eyes still firmly glued to the media and police on the other side of the road.

"No idea man, it's a pretty exciting start to term though!"

"I heard," Kiba suddenly said, directing himself to Naruto, "That Lady Tsunade's gone mad and has taken Miss Shizune hostage."

Naruto pondered this.

"Grandma Tsunade's taken Shizune hostage? No way! That's insane!"

Sakura sighed, "First of all Kiba, if Lady Tsunade had taken Miss Shizune hostage, they wouldn't be letting us into the school building now would they?"

Kiba shrugged as he walked.

"And secondly, I don't know where you've even heard that from seeing as me and Sai literally just saw you walk into school."

"Academy gossip leaves the school gates Sakura," Kiba said scathingly.

By now they had arrived at the school doors. The school interior was typical of one such learning environment. The floor was polished and shining but already littered upon, the walls covered in poster after poster, the corridor wide with bright yellow lockers either side.

Upon entering, Kiba let out a howl of annoyance.

"Urgh, just remembered! Start of term assembly. Who can be bothered, seriously? I'd rather get on with first lesson and actually do some work."

"Well maybe we'll actually be able to find out what's going on," Sakura reasoned.

"They'll still find a way to make it the most boring thing ever," Kiba returned.

Travelling through the corridor, the chatter was arguably louder than it was outside, and talk all around concentrated on one question: What the hell was going on? On their travel to the Assembly Hall, where technically all students should have been heading for instead of standing about in groups chatting, Hidan Yukagure, a boy from two years above and a general acquaintance of them all, jumped out from behind a set of bright lockers.

"Hey shit heads! Have you heard the news?"

"About Lady Tsunade's hostage situation?" Kiba asked.

Hidan looked at him with confusion, "No, not whatever the hell you're talking about. I'm talking about why the media is all outside our fine Academy rights now."

"Why? What's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Apparently," Hidan said, "Somebody's been murdered."

Sakura scoffed, "No way, I don't believe you for a second."

"Err, well actually, Deidara told me so."

Sakura shrugged, "So what?"

Hidan shrugged back, "Well he's a trustworthy guy."

Sakura shook her head in disbelief.

They had arrived at the doors of the Assembly Hall. Inside, the massive, brown, wood furnished room was lined with row after row of green chairs, children of all ages sporadically seated. The five headed for the back seats, Hidan peeling off to the left upon seeing some friends of his; Sasori, Kisame, Zetsu and others. Sakura, Sai, Kiba and Naruto headed towards some of their friends, a waving Ino Yamanka and resting Shikamaru Nara.

"Guys, guys, isn't this exciting?" Ino said when they arrived, "Nothing ever happens at this boring old school and now… well… something's happening!"

Sakura took the seat next to her, throwing her bag under her chair as she did so, "I just wanna find out what's going on."

Kiba, sitting down also, glared at her, "I'm telling you, Tsunade took Shizune hostage! There's probably SWAT in the staff corridor right now."

Pupils started to file into the Assembly Hall more rapidly now, and soon most of the seats had been filled; friends like Hinata, Shino and Choji taking the seats to the side of Shikamaru. Teachers also entered, for the most part standing at the back, arms crossed.

"Ooh, Kakashi-Sensei," Sakura called, leaning back in her chair as said teacher entered the hall through the back door, "Do you know what's going on?"

Kakashi shook his head gravely, apparently choosing not to answer, instead instructing Sasuke, who had walked in late and was looking for a seat on the same row as his friends, into a free seat on the other side.

"I wonder why Kakashi-Sensei is so serious." Ino muttered to Choji, as Sakura attempted and failed to gain Sasuke's attention with a wave.

The Assembly Hall, now full with the one thousand or so students, came to a sudden silence when Lady Tsunade, Head Teacher of the school, stepped onto the large, black stage at the front. She, as normal, strode up to the microphone stand, amber eyes staring out into the sea of children and teenagers.

"Good morning everybody."

A half-assed collective 'good morning' was returned. Despite this apparent lack of enthusiasm though, anticipation was rising. Soon, all was to be revealed.

Tsunade cleared her throat, "Now, I am sure you have all seen the media outside the school this morning, and I am sure there has been a lot of talk about it. Despite what many of you may be thinking, this is not a good or exciting start to the Spring Term. I am deeply saddened to announce, the death… the murder, of one of our students."

A hushed whispering swept over the pupils. Hidan leant his head out to nod knowingly at Sakura, who chose to instead gape forwards in shock, like most of her comrades.

Tsunade inhaled deeply.

"Kankuro Sunagakure, one of our students in his second to last year, was murdered at some point yesterday, in school. Maths classroom One Eighty."

Audible gasps.

Tsunade continued, "This murder has brought great sadness to Konoha Academy, yet I must somewhat dejectedly announce that school will not be going under enforced closure like I had originally hoped for and anticipated, under the requests from the police. This leads me nicely onto introducing our two Head Detectives investigating this terrible tragedy, Detective Orochimaru and Detective Jiraiya."

Two men made their way onto the stage, one slim and black haired, the other bulkier with a mane of white. It was the latter that addressed the assembly.

"Hello everybody, I am Detective Jiraiya, and as Lady Tsunade told you all, I will be taking lead on this case, with my colleague Detective Orochimaru. I know many of you may be saddened by the news of a fellow school member dying. I will not begin to try and understand what many of you will be feeling right now. I do hope, however, that you try to understand me when I ask you all to try to return to normality and go about your day like any other. My team and I will be in school throughout this year until this murder is solved. We will need total cooperation to bring the murderer of Kankuro Sungakure to justice."

The teenagers at the back could simply not believe their ears. Kankuro? He was the brother of Gaara, a boy in their year, a friend. Even Shikamaru, formally slumping in his seat, was now very much alert.

Jiraiya had now just finished introducing the rest of the Detective Team, with Detectives Kabuto, Izumo and Kotetsu all nodding their heads at the crowd.

"And please remember," He continued, "If you know anything, do not hesitate to tell us. We thank you in advance for your cooperation and hope we can leave you all in peace, very soon."

Tsunade now replaced the Detectives at the podium, the awkward attempted clapping for the Detectives set off by Deidara and chums coming to an end with a pointed stare from the Head.

"School will commence as normal," She began again, loudly, "Please, if you have any issues, if you need somebody to talk to, be aware that we teachers are here for you, as are the Detectives, and of course so are our pastoral guidance counsellors, Pein and Konan. We will get through this testing time as a school. Thank you. Assembly dismissed."

It seemed like nobody could actually bare to speak as the scraping of chair legs against the floor signalled the standing of everyone from their seats. Shock plastered over nearly everybody's faces.

"I… I can't believe that somebody got murdered in school," gawped Choji as he flung his bag over his shoulder.

"It is very much a hard situation to believe," nodded Shino.

"I feel so bad for Temari and Gaara," quietly added Hinata.

"Yeah, I wonder when they heard the news. Poor bastards," Kiba nodded.

The group began the long and drawn-out filtering process to exit the hall, except for Sakura, who waited by the end of the row, looking for somebody.

"Hey pinky, didn't I tell you somebody got murdered," Hidan said brashly as he headed for the exit, head popping out from the moving herd of students to grin at Sakura.

"Hidan," Itachi said, walking next to the silverheaded boy, "Try to have some respect."

Here, Sasuke walked next to his brother, head down. Pushing through the crowd Sakura latched onto him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek when she reached him.

"Sasuke, can you believe this? It's terrible. I can't believe Kankuro's dead."

Sasuke shrugged, "Hn."

"It's actually so crazy. Hidan in your brother's year did say that someone had been killed though."

"What lesson do we have now?" Sasuke asked instead of engaging in conversation.

Sakura, off put by the standoff nature of her boyfriend, opened her mouth to answer, but as the two of them made it to the door, a long arm stretched out to block their way.

Sakura looked upwards in confusion, "Gai-Sensei?"

"You two need to wait right here for a sec, kay?" Gai said as he guided the twosome away from the doors and the moving crowd of people.

The others also stood here, apparently being kept behind for some reason. Sasuke and Sakura stepped into line with them as everybody watched the last wave of pupils leave the hall before the doors slammed shut, echoing loudly. The teenagers looked in-between each other in utter confusion. Nearly everybody had left the hall now, except for Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai-Sensei, who all stood at the back as well, in the same assorted line. Gai was still present too; he stood by almost like a guard of some sort.

The Detectives approached. Their footsteps echoed as they came down the gap between the two sides of chairs. Tsunade and Shizune followed in the teams' wake. A feeling of uneasiness overcame everyone.

"Okay," Jiraiya began as he came to a sudden stop in-front of everyone.

From Shizune he took a sheet of paper, his eyes scanning down it immediately.

"Let's just make sure everybody's here. Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai? Yes. Mr. Sasuke Uchiha? Yes. Sakura Haruno? Yes. Naruto Uzumaki? Yes. Ino Yamanka? Yep. Shikamaru Nara? Is here. Choji Akimichi? Is here as well and last but not least Kiba Inuzuka. You are here. Okay, good."

Jiraiya handed the paper he was using for roll call to Izumo and then clapped his hands, looking upon the group, eyes unreadable.

"Okay, so. Let's not waste any time here people. The reason you have all been kept behind today is because you are all the only people who were in the building at the time we believe Kankuro was murdered, without a solid alibi."

All of them, the teachers and the students, paled immediately.

The feeling of uneasiness sunk into everybody's stomachs.

"W-wait a second," Asuma began, worry clearly in his voice, "Does this mean we're all murder suspects?"

Orochimaru nodded his head, a curt smile across his features, "I'm afraid so. Of course, if you haven't done anything there's nothing to worry about."

"This is crazy!" Naruto suddenly roared, "You can't just accuse me of being a murderer! I only murder people on Halo and Call of Duty, and that's only because the game tells me to! I'd never do it in real life, believe it!"

"Shut up, Naruto!" Tsunade suddenly barked, shocking the other blonde into submission, "No one is accusing any of you of anything; just listen and cooperate with the detectives and this will all be fine. Christ, what a fucking mess this is."

Orochimaru nodded in thanks to the woman, then turned back to the assembled group, "We will begin our interviews with you right away. There is no time to waste after all. After today's interviews we may wish to speak to you again, so for your breaks and lunch time please do not leave the school site. That applies for the rest of the year, not just today."

"Hold on," Shikamaru now burst out, "Can you at least explain to us how we are all linked to the murder? This is all too random if you ask me. Why us?"

Kakashi cocked his head out of line, "Err, I'm afraid that's my fault. You were in my after-school detention till six o clock last night, remember? Your group completely failed that Shakespeare project… I believe the excuse was that Naruto ate the USB with all the work on it?"

All of the students' faces dropped immediately, and their angry gazes turned to their teacher.

"Awwwwwwwwww, I knew I shouldn't have eaten it. Now I'm a murder suspect." Naruto moaned, kicking the floor with his foot.

Izumo stepped forwards, "These interviews will take all morning, so if you could all go to class, and you'll be called out when necessary."

Kotetsu stepped next to him, "If we could please start with you, Miss Yuhi?"

Kurenai's eyes lit up, "Oh, I-I'm first?"

Kabuto nodded, "Please follow us."

Kurenai turned unsurely to Asuma and Kakashi, before following after Kotetsu, Izumo and Kabuto.

Once she and the three detectives had disappeared out of the hall, noise from the corridor temporarily spilling in upon the opening of the doors, Orochimaru turned his attention back to the lined up suspects.

"You may all go to your classes now, except you Mr. Sarutobi, if you could wait with us."

In shock, the teenagers, led by Might Gai and Kakashi, left the Assembly Hall.

"Great, just great!" Sakura said the second the doors closed, "I can't believe we're murder suspects, this is ridiculous!"

"Oh man, oh no, I panic in interviews, what if they think it's me because I start sweating loads? I'll go to jail for a murder I didn't even commit! Akamaru will hate prison food!" Kiba ranted in addition.

"How can they say we don't have an alibi?" Ino spat out, "We were in your detention all evening, Kakashi-Sensei!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah. About that. Basically, since I wasn't in the classroom that much and when I was I was reading my book, the detectives don't really trust that you were all indefinitely in the classroom the time of the murder. And I let you go to the toilet once Sasuke, and you as well Sakura... so."

All the students in the empty corridor glared at their teacher once more, "So it's your fault!" Sakura barked, finger pointed upwards.

"Hey come on now, I'm a suspect too." Kakashi attempted in his defence.

"No Kakashi, the kids are right. You are totally for blame for this one." Gai put in with his customary cheesy voice.

"Thanks Gai."

"No problem Kakashi my friend, no problem in the slightest." Gai nodded back with a thumbs up.

"But seriously guys, now listen," Kakashi suddenly started as the teenagers started to grumble again. All of them glanced up at him, silence befalling the group, "It's best for you all now to just calm down and head to class. All of this will be over very shortly. Just be honest with the detectives and everything will be fine. I know none of you are killers."

The group, muttering angrily to themselves, complied, heading down the corridor in search of their first period lessons.

While none of them said it, the question most definitely floated about in their heads. Could it be possible? Was Kakashi-Sensei actually wrong? Was one of them really… a murderer?

It was the start of a very long term.

"I think Sasuke did it, there's something in his eyes!"

"Shut up, Naruto!"

Alright, so I absolutely hate that first chapter but hopefully you don't. Humour and romance/pairings to come next time! Thanks for reading, drop a review if you enjoyed!

(Oh, and apologies for any mistakes, I'm not so good at proof-reading my own work!)