A/n- Im in the middle of writing the next part of Bag 'Em for Always Together and I'm waiting for the stupid episode to buffer- I like having word for word quotes- so I'm probably just going to write this while I wait for the buffering.
Please note that this story will not be long and that it will not be updated as much as I would like to- This story is meant to let me take out my aggression from the stupid, good for nothing, writers block I've been smacked in the face with in the hopes that I can fight it and update AMMD and ARLFT.
Summary : Max has realizations come crashing down on her head so she does what comes naturally to her- she runs away. She flees to her old home, seeking peace, unaware of the turmoil and anguish she's left behind. But peace, unfortunately, isn't what she finds when she arrives home. Manticore has come back, yet again, to bite her in the ass. Except this time, she may not have the will to fight back. M/A.
Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.
Crazy Author Insert: M/A shippers unite!!
Chapter 1: Requiem Mass
It had been months since Freak Nation and things were finally starting to settle down. Paperwork stacks seemed to diminish right before Max's eyes, Mole stopped complaining since he got his cubies, and Alec finally had a steady girlfriend. Logan had settled down with Asha- they were married and expecting their first child. Max couldn't have been happier for them- for everyone. Everyone was happy. Except her. She was feeling empty and more alone than anyone could possibly imagine.
She was surrounded by friends- the toxic waste had been cleared when Mole was bored and lit a bunch of ammonia bottles on fire, it had scared the living shit out of her- she thought they were being bombed- but it had actually killed the toxins and shortly after Cindy, Sketchy, Herbal (who had recently returned seeing as is wife left him for Winston), and Kendra all moved into T.C.
Everyone had a special someone except Max. She was all alone. She finished her paperwork and headed back to her empty apartment. After fixing some coffee, she headed to the rooftop and stared out into the night sky. She didn't know how long she'd been up there, not thinking, when she felt Alec sit beside her. She didn't have to look to know who it was- she just knew.
Alec sat beside her before he spoke. "Jessi's pregnant." Max barely contained her self from choking. As happy for him as she was, her heart beat painfully with the knowledge that she'd already lost him to another girl and now she was losing him to a tadpole. How pathetic was that? She was jealous of a god dam tadpole. Of course, she didn't say any of this- it would have pushed her into a meltdown, which was something she couldn't afford right now.
So, instead of coming clean as she should have, she faked a cheerful tone and said "You're going to name it after me right?" He stopped and threw his head back with laughter, his hazel eyes bright and playful. "I told her she was being ridiculous."
Max turned her head, eyebrow cocked.
Alec stopped laughing and shrugged his shoulders. "Jessi didn't want me to tell you; she thought that you would be upset. I have no idea why she thinks you'd be upset- maybe it's the mood swings kicking in early."
Max let out a weak bark of laughter. Jessi knew that Max cared for Alec, and she knew that Max had been upset when she and Alec got serious, but she and Max also shared an unspoken bond- one that said "I can't live without him- he's the stupid ass who keeps me steady and from breaking down- but he deserves a real shot at a real family, so I'm going to let you have him without a fight if you swear to take care of him." And, of course, Jessi had replied "I'll take good care of him, I'll give him a family and a life, I'll give him everything he could ever want."
All of this secret pact was made, packaged, and put into motion without Max and Jessi even saying a word. Alec, meanwhile, was blissfully unaware of Max's heart ache and the pact. Hell, Max was the one who encouraged him to go out with her, to have her move in with him, she picked out the flowers for his first date with Jessi, she even straightened his tie- for what possible reason could he have to question what was going on around him?
Alec had gone as quickly as he had come and Max was left alone once more. Breathing tightly, to keep herself from crying, she reached under her shirt and pulled out the most breath taking necklace your eyes had ever beheld. The Heart of the Ocean. It was the last item she had stolen when she was in L.A. After she escaped Manticore, the first time, she had gone to L.A. and joined a rag-tag gang of thieves. It felt more like home than anyone could have possibly imagined. She'd lived there for about 9 years, give or take a few months, honing her skills as she trained under a master thief, also the leader of their rag-tag gang, Moody.
He had been both a father figure and mentor for her. She was his protégé, his shining star, and how he loved to hear her play. The problem he'd always had was never getting in to the site, getting out, or even getting to the item. No, it was coming up with a disguise believable enough to case the place. And that's where Max came in. When he had found out about her amazing ability to learn difficult tasks quickly and without questions, he had thought she might be useful as a student to take over for him when he died. Of course, the more she learned, the more he began to realize that she was his cover, his distraction.
So, beginning in November of 2012, he taught her the basics of playing the violin. By mid December, not a full month later, she had surpassed all violin soloists of that time. She was booked from private party to private party, she would play passionately and beautifully, and he would feign drunk and need to use the bathroom and wind up getting "lost". Right.
But, as time flew by, she came to love it. She loved the way every string sounded a different note, how she could bring people to tears with a single, passionately played note. She adored her violin more than anything else- even more than the beautiful gowns and jewelry he dressed her in to attract customers, and ,with time, even more than the very siblings she so longed to seek out. They had, at last, pulled off their greatest heist; Stealing the Heart of the Ocean from right out under a private collectors nose.
She had told him to sell it, to buy better clothes and food for the rest of the gang she had come to love like family, but he refused and chose, instead, to place it around her neck. He told her to keep it close to her heart, where she aught keep her family, so that she might remember them when she left. She hadn't understood at the time but not 3 hours later, she saw him on security cameras from Seattle where a break in had occurred. Her brother, Seth. He was in Seattle. And so, packing her clothes and violin, she fled in the dark of the night leaving him only a note stating that she would return someday.
Of course, upon arriving in Seattle, she had seen him, Seth, jump off the top of the Space Needle to evade Lydecker and his men. She had cried that night and played her violin with such pain and sorrow that it seemed the very animals and sky felt her pain. Two days later, now ready to return to her home, she turned on the news to find that her family, Moody down to the smallest child, was dead.
Max, now crying bitterly, returned to her apartment still clutching the Heart. She threw things from her closet onto the floor until she could see the back, where she promptly removed her violin. She opened the case with urgency and plucked a string gingerly. It was badly out of tune but Max reveled in the sound- her salvation. She quickly tuned it and returned to the top of the apartments where she would play- where all the residents of terminal city could hear her play.
And so she played. Every ounce of loneliness, pain, and suffering she had undergone came through the strings- loud and agonizing. People had gathered to hear her play, crying as they felt her pain. Her playing, her pain, intensified when she saw a half-dressed Alec and Jessi in the front of the crowd, watching her raptly. And, not long after they arrived, they began to weep too.
Max cried as she played, thinking to the crowd 'This is for you, all of you. This is our requiem mass. This, is my goodbye. Goodbye, terminal city, Seattle, Cindy, Sketchy, Mole, Joshua, Alec, Jessi, Logan, Asha, and little tadpole…Goodbye.' With one resounding note Max let everything go- all of her emotions for everyone in the city. She was a blank slate once more- just as Manticore had trained her to do. She fled to her apartment where she packed her bags, with all the cash she possessed, and snuck out the window, knowing that Alec was likely to be coming up the steps to her door.
She ran down the alley as fast as she could. "Max!!" She turned briefly to see Alec's tear stained face leaning out of her window, looking at her with heavy, anguished eyes, like she was dead and not gone. She smiled sadly before taking off towards a secret exit, leaving her bike, her jacket, her friends, and everything that had come to make her who she was. She was going home. Home, to L.A., where she knew she could find peace.
Alec couldn't believe his eyes or ears when he heard Max playing on the rooftop, couldn't stop himself from crying as she cried, and nor could he stop himself from racing after her, leaving his pregnant fiancé alone, to halt her tears. But when he got there- she was gone. Her clothes were strewn about the room, several articles missing. She had packed hastily, seeming to know that he would follow her, and fled through the window. He rushed to the window to see her racing through the alley he called out to her "Max!" She turned briefly giving him a view of her own tear stained face, and continued running.
He screamed when she left, his chest heavy and empty. He couldn't understand it. Yes, she had been his best friend, and yes he had cared for her but why did it hurt so much? Why did he feel as though the world got much bigger without her to fill the void? He didn't even like her that way! He loved Jessi and Max had never cared for him that way. But even as he thought this, memories came to him.
Alec smiled at the new girl in T.C. his attention captured. Max had stood next to him that day, watching with amusement. "Her name's Jessi. She just came in from San Franciso. She prefers lilies to roses." He had frowned and turned to ask her about it but she was gone.
A month later, he and Jessi were engaged. Max had congratulated them heartily, though Alec had known that she was upset about something and had meant to ask her about it but he'd forgotten in all the excitement.
Jessi and Max never spoke a word to each other- not so much as a hello. He hadn't thought much of it at the time but on one of their dates, Alec had left to pull on his tie and left Max and Jessi alone. He listened in, hoping that they would converse, but they didn't. When he returned, Max had tears in the corner of her eyes and was staring at Jessi fiercely while Jessi nodded, her beautiful blue eyes full of reassurance. Alec had frowned and wondered if he had missed something when Max turned, straightened his tie, and said "Be happy." Not 'have a good time' or 'behave' or 'don't say anything stupid'. It was 'be happy'. And, after all this time, Alec just realized what it meant.
'Oh my god. What have I done?' Alec was in shock. He had, once upon a time, had some very…interesting dreams involving himself and Max but he had always chalked it up to too much alcohol. She had been in love with him and he hadn't realized it. And now, he had a girl pregnant that he didn't even really love, Max was officially gone, and the worst part of it all? Alec just realized that he loved her too.