A little girl, all alone... left in a dark room, all by herself... thrown back, again and again, every time... every time mother is not pleased... a little girl in a room, all alone... no one to care, no one to notice... no one to say hello or goodbye... only a demon for company, madness for comfort...
A little girl, all alone, with a demon for company, madness for sympathy,
A little girl, abused and abandoned, a little girl, all alone...
What is it like to see the sun, to feel the wind on my face?
It is so dark here, so still here...
Little girl, little girl, what do you want? Little girl, little girl, what do you dream?
Of cake and ice cream and all those things?
What is it to dream?
Little girl, little girl, what do you see?
Darkness all around me, closing in on me.
Little girl, little girl, What do you do?
I sit all day and talk to you.
Little girl, little girl, who am I?
The Hell inside my head... the madness without end...
All alone in this dark room, with nothing to do,
I feel I may disappear soon, but that's all right...
Little girl, little girl, look at me.
How can I look? I cannot see...
Little girl, little girl, what do you want?
The madness to end... to fade away...
Little girl, little girl, what do you wish?
For all this misery to sink to the abyss...
Chapter One: Little Girl
I look up and I see, above my head, a moon leering down on me, though mist surrounds me. Where I am? Since when did a moon leer, or have a face? "What happened? How did I get here?" I whispered to the cackling moon.
I was lying flat on my back. I could not remember how I went from my room to this strange place with the weird moon... that looked oddly familiar... all I could remember was falling asleep in my dark room. Strangely enough, though, I felt a tugging at my heart, like someone was drawing me to them. I stood up, and twirled around, to see if the pull came from some direction or another. Yes... off to my left was where the pull came from. I wonder what was doing this? Was someone trying to summon me? I had a feeling that, whatever the source may be, I was supposed to find the source. And having nothing better to do, I shrugged and started walking.
"Why does this place look so familiar?" I said quietly. It was a marshy land, with trees twisted and deformed. If they were trees... they seemed oddly angular, though. Almost as though they were made of many arrows... but that couldn't be. Could it?
As I walked, the trees started to less and less look like trees and look more like arrows pointing out of the ground, edges sharp and cruel. Arrows? A strange moon? A memory was nudging my mind, but I couldn't quite reach it yet. When I landed here, I must have whacked my head bad enough to give me temporary amnesia. In fact... wait a minute, what's my name?
"Huh? I've forgotten my name... I guess name's aren't THAT important... not like I ever was much of anyone, so I don't even really need a name... but appearance? What do I look like again?"
I stooped over and peered into the swampy water. It wasn't too reflective, but good enough to give me a basic idea of what I looked like. "Let's see... short black hair... cut pretty badly," I said as I felt it, and the jagged edges. "Feels like I cut it myself, this is awful. Okay, black hair... pale skin... sheesh, I hope it's just the moonlight making me look like a skeleton!" It wasn't just the skin, but the sharp edges of my face that made me look undead. Much more defined than I expected... like someone drew it. "And lastly, eye color... Hmm, I can't see it in this light." I knelt, my face inches from the water. I couldn't make out any eye color, even though it wasn't really dark out. "They must be a dark shade if I can't see them... okay, pale skin, dark hair and dark eyes. Yep, I do not look like that. I think. Nor do I recall these clothes..." I was wearing a sleeveless black top and black slacks, which combined with my skin made me look even more undead than before. "Not a fan of the black, but at least they fit well. Nothing else on me... not even shoes. Note to self: get shoes."
Indeed, I started to wish for shoes fairly quickly. The marshland only got colder the farther in I went, and my feet started to turn a nice blueish shade after a half-hour. The pull got stronger the closer I got, but now a new feeling arose: one of intense pain and sadness, an undercurrent of emotion I could sense... and recognize. I knew that pain all too well... but this wasn't my own. Whatever, or I should say whoever, was drawing me in was feeling this. "I always was empathetic, but this is ridiculous... but maybe in this world, it isn't. Hmm. Well, I better hurry up and find whoever this is..."
I had been walking slowly before now, so as to not lose the trail, or accidentally turn the wrong way. Now it was so strong I could move faster, and I broke into a run. The ground didn't seem to like that, and I constantly had to stop myself from falling over. Fortunately, I was well used to doing this. "Being a klutz has advantages- you get used to tripping!" I said, chuckling. I could remember as I child that I always tripped over my two left feet, as they say. Eventually I got used to hopping to the other foot to recover, if I was running fast enough. Even so, I fell into the water a couple of times, and by the time I reached the place, I was soaked to the skin. "Okay, first order of business: find the person. Second: find a towel! And third: figure out what the heck this place is!"
It was an odd-looking building, well, odd decorations. It was mostly squares stacked on top of each other, with purple lines running up and down it, bending here and there. Craning my neck, I thought I could see the lines ending in an arrow. "Big surprise. Whoever lives here must love arrows."
The entrance was open, well, there wasn't a door, just a yawning black tunnel leading in. I did not much like the look of any of this. "If I am in a horror movie, I am doomed. But the emotion... I can feel it inside, crashing over me like a wave...but it isn't just sadness..." I said as I walked through the tunnel, "It's anger... a fierce anger of one long hurt... an anger I know all too well." In the distance, I could hear someone scream, and I broke into a sprint. "That shout, with that anger... oh God I hope I get there in time!" The tunnel began to lighten, and suddenly, I broke into a room. The room was odd, made of the same greenish material as the rest of the house, with the same lines. But the blocks seemed to be floating, and the center of the room was a cavernous pit.
But what caught my immediate attention was two figures in the center block. One was a women, tall and dark, with blond-brown hair, and wearing dark clothes. I couldn't make her out well, though I suppose it was the light. She seemed to like snakes, as she had snake tattoos on her arms, and one was coiled around her feet. Much like everything else around here, it was more arrow shaped than not. The women was standing, staring at the other figure curled up at her feet.
"Child, what is the matter? Why do you cry like this?" The woman asked, her voice sweet, and poisonous as a snake's venom. The other figure jerked back at her words like she was hit. The figure was tall, slim, with uneven pinkish hair, and wearing a black robe. I thought the figure was a girl, if only because of the curve of the body, but I couldn't tell. The girl seemed... familiar. And she was the one who was calling to me the entire time. I could see her shaking from anger, barely controlled.
"I do not understand, my child. Why would my praise cause you to cry out?"
"Don't speak those words to me, I don't understand! I don't know how to deal with them..." I don't.. deal with? Wait, was this... CRONA?!
My memory crashed over me like a wave. No wonder everything felt so familiar, this was Soul Eater's world! But wait a minute, Crona confronting Medusa... "When does this happen?" I mutter. "In the manga, it's at dinner, not in this room; in the anime, she wasn't alone... I wonder..."
I didn't have any time to think though, because Medusa interrupted me. "What do you mean Crona?"
"You... you never are kind... you never say gentle words to me... stop it! Stop it!" she shouted. "They hurt..." I heard her faint whisper. Crona lurched to her feet, swaying slightly as she spoke. "You.. you aren't kind. You are... cruel, is that the word? I don't know how to deal with you being kind... be cruel, I can deal with that... I can kill or be punished..."
"I'm not cruel, Crona child," Medusa said sweetly, familiarly. "I have only acted in your best interest... you know that, right? I would never hurt you."
Crona jerked back, and I could feel a pulse of anger come off her. "My best interest? What does that mean? I don't understand. You used me for your experiments... but you are my mother, don't mothers do that? You hurt me... you tried to destroy everything... even the only one who loved me... and now... and now... she's destroyed... SHE'S DESTROYED, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Crona utterly snapped, and screaming in rage, swung Ragnarok at Medusa. Medusa jumped to the side, a surprised look on her face. Crona swung widely at her, screaming incoherently.
"I have to stop her! If she kills Medusa she'll only destroy herself... the Madness will overtake her... she's nearly gone already." Cupping my hands, I shouted, "Stop! Crona, stop!" But she didn't even hear me over her own screams.
I ran, and ran, and jumped across the island, still calling to Crona. "Please Crona, stop this! Stop!" I reached the center isle. I dodged a wild sword swing, than another. In desperation, I ran up behind her and bear hugged her, trapping her. "Crona, stop, please!" I said into her ear, but she just struggled against me.
"Crona! Stop! Please. Don't make the same mistake I did!"
"Stop it! Stop! Let me kill her! That's how I deal with things!" Crona screamed, straining to get free, but I held her still.
"No! If you kill her you'll only destroy yourself!"
"I'm already destroyed!" she screamed, an insane laugh edging her words. "I have nothing! The only one who loved me is destroyed! All I have is Lady Medusa, and she orders me to kill! Now let me go!"
"No! I will not let you!"
"Why? I do not understand. Why do you do this?" shrieked, anger and misery making her words harsh.
"Because I care about you, Crona," I said softly. She merely shrieked in laughter.
"Care? What is that? I don't know how to deal with that. All I know is pain!"
"No you don't! Don't you remember Maka? She didn't treat you like that!"
"Maka is destroyed, destroyed, gone! Who is she? I don't know her." She gasped, from laughter and crying.
The madness was overtaking her, I could feel it. I had to get through to her! "Crona! You have to remember. She was the one kind to you!" She just laughed and laughed, a laughter pierced with unspeakable pain, unbearable pain.
"What is kindness? All I know is the Hell inside my head. Is that kindness?"
"Oh Crona... no. This is kindness." Maybe feeling the other persons emotion's worked both ways. I focused on the friendship I had received from my Maka, and directed the emotion at Crona, hoping she could feel and remember. It did seem to have some effect, because she stood still.
"That sound... what is it? It sounds like a flute... but so far away..." Sound? Wait... wavelength. Like a sound wavelength? Maybe if I increased it...
I closed my eyes and focused all my might on that sound, though to me, it sounded like a drumbeat. "Listen Crona..."
I opened my eyes again, and to my surprise, I found myself standing in a pitch-black area, with Crona standing in front of me. All around us was the sound, a music, that to me sounded like a drum beating out a heartbeat.
Crona looked around, then at me. "What... what is that sound? It's like a flute... its sweet... like a lullaby, almost."
"It sounds like a drumbeat to me. I'm not sure, actually. I just focused on my feeling of friendship, from another."
"Who?"
I smiled. "The Maka of my world."
"You... you know Maka?" Crona asked, confused.
I shook my head. "No, I'm not from this world."
"I... don't understand... who are you? Why should I listen to you? What do you know?" she started to look afraid, not making eye contact with me anymore. "You... you are just trying to hurt me, aren't you..."
I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. "Why would I hurt you? I know too well how hurt you are... how could I add to it?"
"You don't know anything..." she said, a tinge of bitterness in her tone.
"Oh don't I?," I said softly. "A little girl, all alone, with a demon for company, madness for sympathy... a little girl, all alone, abused and abandoned... a little girl, left in a dark room, all alone." At this Crona's head popped up, and she stared at me in surprise. "A little girl, tortured by her mother, who should only do kindness but only caused pain... who only cared about using her, not about her... a little girl who doesn't-"
"-know how to deal with anything." Crona finished softly. "How can you know all this? How... how can you see inside me?"
I smiled bitterly. "I can't Crona. I am describing myself, what my life was. I can understand you only because I myself know it all too well."
I held up my hand, and Crona raised her and grasped it. The connection solidified the link between our souls, and we could feel clearly the other's soul. To me, I felt souls by sound, and I heard a sound that broke my heart. It was like the wind whistling through the desert, so completely alone, and the shriek of the wind, the shriek of a heart that knows only darkness and pain and misery. It was a sound so alone, so empty, devoid of any life. I knew Crona could feel my soul, the fire of hatred and ice of pure isolation , the burning river of sadness and the hot wind of anger that coursed through me every day.
"You... you experienced it all too? Like you lived my life... but how?" Crona asked quietly.
"I think... I think I'm you, from another world," I replied.
"I do not understand... another me?"
"Think of it this way. When you see a mirror, what looks back at you? Another you, correct? It's like that. I'm a mirror reflection, and my world mirrors yours."
"I... I think that makes sense... but if you are me... was Medusa your mother as well?"
"Yes," I said quietly. "Though she went by a different name: Mary. My name's Coraline," I said. Crona looked at me, pondering.
"Coraline... Mary... yes, I see a resemblance... a mirror self would have a mirror name, I suppose," she muttered. "And... Maka?"
I smiled broadly. "Yes, I had a Maka as well. She was my closest friend... my only friend, really."
Crona motioned to the sound around us. "And she... she showed you this? This kindness?"
"Yes," I said, grinning. "She did. But I don't feel it as kindness." Crona looked at me, confused. I explained quietly, "I don't know how to deal with kindness, I can't really feel it. To me, it feels like loyalty."
"Loyalty?" Crona questioned, her face showing complete confusion.
"Loyalty is when a person refuses to abandon something, be it an idea or organization, or a person, for any reason. It means defending them, no matter what happens, or what they may do, or the damage it would do to yourself. For me, I cannot feel happiness or love or trust, or kindness. But I can feel and give loyalty, so this," I said, motioning towards the sound, "gives the sound of loyalty to me: the beating of a drum."
"I don't know what loyalty feels like... but I think I can understand the concept... Maka was loyal to me... she never left me... but the sound, it sounds like a flute to me. Why?" Crona looked at me, hoping I could explain it to her.
"I'm not positive, but I can guess. A flute is sweet, light, like laughter almost. You, I think, speak in the language of kindness. It's similar... unconditional care for another, regardless of what they say or do... kindness requires loyalty, and vice versa. I think the sound simply depends on what you speak, or know how to deal with."
Crona looked away. "But... I don't know how to... not when Lady Medusa was kind..."
I sighed. This would be hard. "Crona, think of how you interacted with Maka. You know how to deal with that, correct?"
"Somewhat..." she muttered.
"Think of that, then. Hold to that. Medusa... she isn't kind. She's cruel."
"But she said so many kind things," Crona said, interrupting. "How she was proud of me... how she loved that I had returned... she sounded so kind... I don't understand!" she said, a shriek edging her words.
"Crona... a person can say kind things and not be kind. I think she was trying to manipulate you, saying what you wanted to hear so she could use you." Like my mother, I thought.
"How... how do I deal with that... I don't know..." she said, shaking and holding herself.
I sighed, and moved over to hug her. "Judge their words by their actions. If they say kindness but are really cruel, then their words are probably false. If they are kind people, then their words are genuine."
"That's so complicated..." Crona whispered, still shaking in my arms. "I don't think I can deal with that..."
"It's hard, I know. It took me so, so long to learn how to deal myself... I'm still learning." I pulled back slightly so I could look her in the eye. "But you can learn to deal with it. Maka started to teach you, didn't she?" Crona nodded slowly.
"Yes... she did. Did she... teach you?"
I nodded. "Yes. But I knew I could trust her... I knew she could teach me."
Crona paused, then started to tear up. "But she's gone now! Gone, gone, gone!" she said, beating her fist against me with every word. "Now there is nothing! Nothing! Only the darkness. Only the Madness. Only death. That's how I deal with things," she said, grinning at me maniacally through her tears. "The Madness tells me to. I can't help but listen!" she looked down, still laughing maniacally.
I could feel her soul, so close to be utterly consumed by the Madness, too filled with darkness to fight back. Crona... all she knew was pain and emptiness, and her heart was dry and empty. Where was Maka's love? I probed into her as best I could, but the Madness blocked the way. Did the Madness erase all the happiness she once felt? Yes... Madness made one forget... I forgot about that myself. All the sorrow from losing Maka just fueled Crona's innate Madness... it needed to be decreased... but how?
"Crona... if I could take all that pain from you I would... I would.." I said, starting to cry myself. I felt so helpless, able to feel her pain but not help it...
"Please," I whispered, "let me take it from you..."
I closed my eyes again, and just let my emotions flow, all the kindness and warmth in my heart, to Crona. If I couldn't take her pain, maybe I could make it more bearable. But to my surprise, I could feel something in return. All of a sudden, her emotions crashed over me, the pain and anger and sadness and Madness that filled her heart. They kept hitting me, absorbing into me, until I thought I would pass out or scream, when suddenly it stopped. It was silent now, and Crona and I just breathed heavily. Slowly, a sound emerged again, the sound of our two souls. There was still dryness in hers, and chaos in mine, but now there was a soft, sweet undercurrent. Crona no longer gave off as much Madness as before, and seemed more at peace.
She looked up me, smiling slightly. "Thank you... I suppose... you are kind too?"
"Yes," I said strongly, "And loyal. I won't leave you Crona..."
"I have no one... not Medusa, not Maka, not anything... but you don't either, do you?" she said quietly.
"No. I don't even have my home, now. But, I guess, we have each other, don't we?"
Crona thought for a long time before responding. "I'm you and your me. But... how do I deal with you?"
I stepped back and held out my hand. "How about as a friend? Will you be my friend, Crona?" I smiled at her, and she stared back. But slowly, she extended her hand too, and I swear I caught a trace of a smile.
"A friend... like Maka was a friend... but now she's insane..." Crona started to tear up again, not that I blame her. But I was curious.
"She's alive then?" Crona nodded her head.
"She's insane... the Madness... the Black Blood... it overtook her... and Lady Medusa... she caused it!" Crona shouted, her face twisted in rage.
"Crona. If she's still alive, can't we still help her?"
"Nothing can stop it... nothing can help it... and I don't know how... I don't know how to do anything... except kill," she said softly.
"Nonsense!" I said strongly. Crona stared at me. "There has to be something that can cure it, or at least restrain it. We just have to find it! And Crona," I said, softer this time, "you can learn how to deal with things. You don't have to always kill."
"I've never known anything else... how can I learn otherwise?"
"How could I? All I knew was rage and pain, all I ever did was hurt people, drove them away. But I did learn- my Maka taught me other ways."
"But now she's gone... who can teach me?" Crona said, sniffling a little.
"How about this: we figure it out together." I went over to Crona, and she looked up at me. "I think we both have much to learn... the world has treated us harshly, left us not knowing much. But two hears are better than one, as they say," I said, smiling slightly. Crona looked at me, still confused, doubt clear in her face.
"Why. Why do you do this... why are you so kind to someone like me? Why do you want to help someone like me?" she asked sadly.
"Because, long ago, someone did the same to me. They saw a little girl, all alone, and went over and helped them. She saw me in my pain, and determined to help me, undeserving as I was. And I vowed, afterwards, that I would do the same. And besides all that, Crona," I said kindly, "you need a friend. Everyone needs a friend."
Crona smiled, still somewhat shaking her head. "I don't understand... but I think I can deal with it. Okay... friend." The word seemed strange to her, foreign. But I could see- and feel- happiness from her. I grinned myself, for the same reason. I had no one, no friend, myself. I needed a friend as much as Crona did... we needed each other. The two girl, left all alone... if we didn't stand together, who would stand with us?"
"Friend... Maka was a friend. Let's help her," Crona said, her spirit giving off an aura of determination.
"Agreed. Do you know where she could be?"
"I think... near the DWMA... my old school... even if not... her other friends may know... I guess it would be nice to see them too."
I nodded. "DWMA it is. Let's go!" Crona nodded, and we both closed our eyes, and blinked them open into the real world.
