Note: Ok, before you read this, know that you probably won't get it unless you've watched Glee 2x14 BIOTA. But if you have seen it, please continue! Also, know that the events probably aren't in perfect order, but I did my best. Finn is underlined, and Kurt is italicized, meaning that what is written after the colon will be their thought. Just in case that wasn't obvious.
Basically, these are Kurt and Finn's sober thoughts on...
Rachel screaming. "It tastes like pink, IT TASTES LIKE PINK!"
Finn: Shut up Rachel.
Kurt: Shut up Rachel.
Blaine dancing like a maniac, and Kurt telling Finn how he's trying to impress him, but Blaine seems to have other ideas.
Finn: Wow, Kurt sure messed up with this guy. He got trashed, and Kurt is trying to impress him? Poor little guy has such bad taste in guys. Wait, was that a gay thought? Why do I care who Kurt likes? How can I say he has bad taste in guys? I don't have any taste in guys. I don't. That's gay.
Kurt: He looks like he has fire ants in his underwear. No wonder he doesn't dance during Warblers practice. He sucks. It's adorable, but he sucks.
Blaine putting his arm around Finn and telling him how tall he is, and how cool it is that he and Kurt are, like, brothers.
Finn: Crap, Kurt's crush just put his arm around me. Crap crap crap. Well of course I'm tall! To you everyone's tall you curly haired elf! God, what am I? A gay magnet?
Kurt: Oh no. No no. No way did he just put his arm around Finn! He should have put his arm around me! He'd better not be flirting with him. Boy I've BEEN down that road.
Santana pouring SALT into Brittany's BELLYBUTTON and licking it out.
Finn: Whoa, hottttttt. If only all girls got like that when they were drunk...
Kurt: Ew, that is so unsanitary. I'm pretty sure it tasted gross too. And couldn't that get like, infected? Ugh, Finn is like mesmerized. Straight teenage boys, so easily distracted... Oh my god, Blaine looks like SO cute right now with his hair all messed up and in his face... What was I thinking before?
Brittany dancing like a stripper, and Artie "Whoo! Making it raaaaiiin!"
Finn: Wow, Artie is one lucky dude. Brittany is like mega hot shirtless. Cheesus, how did she even DO that thing with her hips. Whoa.
Kurt: Well that is just tasteless. Her bra just so doesn't go with her shoes. A travesty. She looks like an idiot gyrating like that. And where the hell did all that money come from?
Rachel and Blaine kissing.
Finn: She never kissed ME like that. That kiss looked pretty firework worthy. How long is this going to go for? Aw poor Kurt. Ok seriously! This is ridiculous! Someone separate them before they get stuck. Ugh, finally.
Kurt: Fuck you Rachel. Fuck you Rachel. Fuck you Rachel. Fuck you Rachel. I do not give a damn that you are drunk, I still want to kill you. And flush your horrid dress down the toilet.
Blaine and Rachel's duet.
Finn: No. No way. Did Rachel like ungay him. Oh my god, she has like magical powers.
Kurt: I hate you two. Wait, I swear Blaine just pointed at ME. Yes! Yes I want you baby. Yes I want you ohhhhhhhhhhh!
End Note: I apologize for the randomness, but I couldn't not write this. I was imagining this while watching the episode. Hope you liked! And I totally understand if you didn't. Also, finally figured out how to do page breaks. YAY! Please review!