Author's Note:

Last night, I had an idea. I had an epiphany. I decided I would write letters for my children when I am older. I knew I wanted them to feel wanted and loved. I wanted words to describe them with. Since I am nowhere near that stage, I chose to write in JJ's perspective towards her daughter. Technically, there would be twenty-four letters, if you're including the day she's born, but the story takes place over twenty-three years. This story means a lot to me, it is very personal and a lot of these connections are to my personal life. I hope it inspires you and fills whatever empty void you may have. Enjoy. Xx

Today, you are yours.

You are small and fragile. I have touched you once. One time, and I am in love. You are out of my mind. You are the summer I want to relive forever. You are the sun peering through the clouds. How can I describe you when I've only seen you once? How can I call you softer than the moon's shadow when I have only touched you once? How can I love you when I have only known you for an hour? Your eyes are still fused shut, you have not yet grown. The universe is still sleeping. I am in wonder and awe. You are so tiny, you fit perfectly in the palm of my hand, yet you hold all the stars and planets inside. Today, you are yours. Fully yours. You are now something I can see and marvel over. You are your own person, your own paradise. I can't wait for the day I get to explore the rivers and fields of your happy place, to smell the air and feel the rain on my face. You are just beginning, I am watching a dream come true. What a wonderful life you have ahead of you. A life to call yours.

Jennifer Jareau winced in pain as she leaned over to place her pen and paper on her side table. Her c-section had been just hours ago, and while the meds had certainly kicked in, a dull pain resided in her abdomen. It was empty. She carried three children for six months. They were safe inside the nest, warm and embraced. Now they were cold and hanging on a thread, begging for a chance at life. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She wanted to scream, but she was confined. She wanted the world, but she felt like she only had a speck of soil. Why wasn't anything enough? She turned to the doorway when she saw her best friend walk in.

"Spence," she said softly, falling back onto the pillow. "Ive been waiting for you."

"The waiting room's pretty busy," the man said as he stepped further into the room. He spotted an armchair beside the bed and went over and sat on it.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, putting his hand over her blanket-covered leg.

"Drugged," JJ responded with a small laugh. She examined the various tubing attached to her arms and hands. "I'm high."

Spencer dismissed what his friend said with a laugh.

"JJ, you had three kids," he said disbelievingly. "You have a daughter."

"You have a god-daughter," JJ responded. "A god-daughter."

"Yeah," Spencer said quietly. "Do the kids have names yet?"

"No," JJ responded. "I wasn't prepared for any of this." She was starting to cry now, and Spencer Reid could easily see that it was from her medication and her hormones.

"That's okay," Reid said with a soft smile. "They don't need names yet."

"I didn't think I would have them tonight!" JJ complained as she wiped the tears off of her face. "And I certainly didn't know there'd be three!"

"Nobody knows a lot of things, JJ, that's okay. Just calm down and get some rest."

Jennifer winced with every other breath she took. It was quite painful now and with her body being so drugged up, she thought she'd never get rest.

"I was hesitant about three boys, okay?" JJ said shakily, looking into her friend's eyes. "I was wary about four boys, but four boys and a girl? How am I going to do this?"

"You just do it every day," Reid advised. "Next year, you'll look back on this and realize how silly you were. I promise you." He gave her a soft smile and rubbed his tired eyes.

"I hope they make it through to next year," JJ said. "Go to the NICU and look at how small they all are. Their skin is see through..." She trailed off as she broke down again.

"I know this is scary," Reid said as he held her hand tightly. "But it's normal for babies born at twenty four weeks to have little to no body fat, no wide open eyes..."

"How do I know they're alive then?" JJ asked.

"You just know, you feel it," Reid responded as both adults looked towards the doorway. Jennifer's husband and two sons walked in and greeted them. Reid got up from the chair and went over.

"Congratulations," he said as he shook the man's hand. "Wow, how are you feeling?"

"Overwhelmed," the man said as he folded his arms. "The boys are excited, though."

"Aaron," JJ said as the boys, Jack and Henry, ran up to her bedside.

"Yeah?" Aaron said, watching three year old Henry jump up onto the bed. Jack sat in the armchair and played with the toy car he'd brought along.

"Can you get me some coffee?" She asked.

"You're not allowed to eat or drink for a while, Jen, you've just had a c-section."

"No, I want food."

"You've just had surgery," Aaron said as he picked Henry up off of the bed.

"What can I do? I'm bored and in pain," JJ said with a frown.

"Sleep would be a good idea," her husband said with a laugh. "We should get the boys off to bed."

"Are we going home?" Jack asked.

"I can take them," Reid said. "I'm just around the corner, we'll be close."

"Would you?" JJ asked as she held her stomach in pain.

"Of course," Reid said. "I'm about to leave, anyway, give you two some space."

"Thank you," Aaron said with a soft smile. He pulled Henry close to him and stuck his hand out for Jack to take. "The boys have overnight bags in the car."

"Thank you, Spence!" JJ exclaimed from her bed as they all left the room. And then she was alone. She reached over and folded the written letter into a small square and threw it into her purse.

She'd always had a good aim.

Author's Note:

These chapters are just small glimpses into her daughter's life. They will be short and easy to read, but so heavy a devour. I hope this story brings some happiness to you, as it is a celebration of love and blessings. Stay tuned for more letters, this is only the beginning. Review! Xx