When the end comes, Root thinks of Shaw. The smoke is stinging her eyes and the fire is blazing all around her. The ground is hot to the touch and it is burning Root's fingertips as she reaches for her gun. Her multiple gunshot wounds in her leg ensure that she will not be moving any time soon. Samaritan's operatives had ambushed her and shot her… let's see… five times. The pain weaves its way through Root's body, and she winces. Tears pool in her brown eyes, but she dares not let them fall. Root's fingers curl around the gun, and her mouth twitches in triumph. She lifts it up, staring at it in resignation.
It is her best option.
Bleed out in pain, choke on the smoke from the fire Samaritan's operatives had set, or pull the trigger herself. There is something majestic about choosing when one is going to die, especially if much of one's life is so unpredictable. So Root decides on the last option.
Root thinks of the day she came to visit Shaw in her new job, posing as one of her makeup customers. She had watched Shaw for a while before approaching her. Shaw looked uncomfortable in her black dress and heels. The dress suited her short body well, shaping her curves, and Root couldn't help but stare. Then, she walked towards Shaw's station and pretended to look through the nail polish selections, although she would never go for anything other than her customary black. When Shaw saw her, Root relished her look of surprise and anger, and Root thought that she detected a tiny hint of pleasure.
Root remembers the feel of Shaw's touch, when she had placed her hand on Root's back to take her away from the CIA safe house.
She remembers the electricity running through her veins when Shaw had ridden on the motorcycle with her, and she remembers the fondness she felt for Shaw while drinking martinis.
Root blinks, the image of the gun becoming blurry and swirly because of the tears pooling in her eyes.
There was a time when Root thought she was invincible. That she would forever outsmart and outgun her enemies. There was a time when Root believed in forever, and that forever existed.
Forever is a concept invented by the stupid humans in the world, to cope with their silly little problems.
Nothing lasts forever, they say when someone is in a tough situation.
Love lasts forever, they say when getting married.
We'll be together forever, they say while in love.
Humans are stupid, and forgetful, and utterly, utterly contradictory.
Root thinks that it would be so much easier if she were a machine. If she had none of these silly feelings, the feelings that make Root's heart beat quick when Shaw walks into the room, the feelings that make Root want to smash something when anyone else flirts with Shaw, the feelings that make surrendering herself to Her orders so extremely difficult.
Root is thinking about how she'll miss Shaw forever, while at the same time thinking how forever does not exist.
Root is lucky to have Shaw in her life, and she smiles as she pulls the trigger.
Life is a game that we must learn to play, and Root thinks she has won.