A Thousand Years, an attack on titan/進撃の巨人 fanfic

((Hey, guys, it's me, Historia-IAmTheGoddess-Reiss! The idea for this one was enough to make me cry while I was listening to the song! I hope you guys like my One Shot!))

DISCLAIMER! I OWN NOTHING!

((These characters are not mine; these are original characters from Attack on Titan. The song 'A Thousand Years' has been used as a base for this FanFiction, so all due respect to the original artist, Christina Perri. If you don't know the song, do check it out! It's beautiful! Also, "Italicized text in quotes like this is part of the song!"))

~A Thousand Years~

"Heart beats fast- colors and promises-

How to be brave,

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

But watching you stand alone,

All of my doubt- suddenly goes away somehow..."

I have always loved Armin from the bottom of my heart… We were the best of friends since as far back as I could ever remember… His existence was like another reason for me to love my life. Though, in its own way, it was…

I was always too afraid to confess to him. Usually it was just the thought that my life was comfy just the way it was—there was nothing about it that I wanted to change, and if there was, I would lack the courage, or think that I don't have time for a relationship quite yet.

I remember when his birthdays and Holidays passed. My gifts that I would give him every year were stuffed with feeling and happiness. He knew that, and our friendship was as strong as ever… But one day, I finally want to break out of that shell. I just hope my fear to fall doesn't become too great.

"Ymir… Do you think that I really have the courage to do that? Will I finally be able to tell him how I feel?" I asked as I crossed my legs and squeezed the pillow in my arms.
Ymir nodded with a sweet smile, crossing her legs as well on top of the bunk bed. "Christa, my dear, you know how I feel about you. I'm like a replica of your relationship, but I'm forward about it. I still love you, and I know you know that. I still might be hanging on, but if he is the one for you in your eyes, then go for it! All I want is for you to be happy." She stared into my eyes with a look of seriousness while telling me this, laying her hand over mine affectionately.

I nodded, returning the smile. "Thank you, Ymir… You really are my best friend."
Ymir and I lived in the dorms of our high school. We shared the dorm with several nice roommates. Sasha was usually there with us for our girl talks like this, but I pulled Ymir aside to tell her this, and if I should really go for it or not. Ymir shifted from the top of the bunk bed, where we were. The mattress shifted as she moved, and Ymir came down from the small ladder.

"One step closer…"

"I'll be back." She waved as she went out of the door.

I waved back to Ymir as Annie came in the door. Unconsciously, I found myself staring at her. She glared back at me, and turned away. I never really understood her. We never really said anything to each other—but for some reason I always got the feeling that she dislikes me… Or, maybe, even hates me.

"The hell are you even looking at, you blonde twit?" The roommate spat, dragging me out of my thoughts. The harsh words caused a bit of me to get mad; but Ymir took the chance before I could.

"Hey, you," Ymir growled back at her, coming back in. She grabbed Annie by the front of her hoodie and held her above ground, using her lack of height as an advantage. "What the hell makes you think that you have the right to bitch at my friend?"
Midair, Annie just kept glaring at the two of us, refusing to say a word. Ymir's expression grew disgusted and dropped her. "So be it, unlikeable bitch."

Without further words, the three of us went to bed.
Good job, Ymir, now I'm sure she hates me.

The day dragged on as usual, Ms. Ral was going on about the normal history lessons during Third period. However, I still had the same confidence in my head that today is the day I tell him! Fourth period flew by with Mr. Smith during Language Arts, and I headed to our normal place at lunch—where Armin, Eren, and Mikasa met, normally. Sasha, Ymir and I migrated there as we made friends over the years of High School.

"Time stands still-

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave!

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me!

Every breath... Every hour has come to this..."

"One step closer…"

He was within my sight—I was about to wave to him, when I saw someone else with him. Annie. The same roommate that Ymir had yelled at just the night before was talking to him…

Armin smiled at her, putting a hand behind his head doing so, while blushing. And it looked so cute from where I was watching, I will not lie. From as small as an angle it was, I could see Annie smile as well.

Wait, was she—no way… Maybe… Maybe they would be okay as a couple, but… Why do I feel…? But I…

Annie then walked away, apparently very happy from what I could tell. I came up to him.
"Hey, Armin!" I bounced. "What's up~?"

"W-well, Christa, something really great just happened to me… I just got asked out." Armin explained, blushing with the arm behind his head again. My eyes widened a little. I don't know why exactly, but they just did.

"W-wow, that's great, Armin! I'm sure you and Annie will go far!" My voice actually cracked a little and sounded kind of weird, but I cleared my throat afterwards.

Armin nodded. "Thanks… See you in biology, then."

I waved to him, saying goodbye.

I felt sick to my stomach—which resulted in making me not want to eat my lunch.

Ymir asked me why I didn't want to eat. I told her it was nothing, but obviously she wouldn't let me off that easily. "No, what is going on, Christa? Did you even ask him yet?"
A shiver spiraled down my spine as I heard her question. "No, I didn't…" I told her, quietly. I leaned my head downward, with my hands in my lap. Sasha was devouring everything within sight until she heard us talking. She poked her head up out of her noodles.
"What happened?" She asked. "Also, do you still want your food?"
I gestured for her to go ahead and take it.
"It was just… Well, Annie was talking to him on my way over to ask him..."
Ymir brought the can of soda down from her mouth hurriedly out of surprise, almost spitting it out. "Ehhh?! She talks to him? Annie? Seriously?"
"Apparently, yeah…" I squeaked out. "She… She asked him out…"
"She seems pretty desperate, then. I mean, she seems too ugly because of her nose anyway, but continue." She joked; not caring about how uncalled for it might be in some cases.
I couldn't help but laugh at that. "He accepted, too…"
"Are you sad about it? That Annie is now dating him, I mean?" Sasha asked again, because she also knew that I like him.
"I-I… I don't know…" My voice shook. "But… I think I should just be happy for him at least…"
I couldn't keep my mind off of it. I feel like I should just take some time for myself and think things over…

A year had passed since Armin and Annie started dating. I was checking my Facebook on my laptop when I saw a few posts Armin made. I crossed my legs at the top of my bunk bed.

"Just had dinner with Annie, love you, btw~" And other various things like that.

I scrolled past it as it felt like a shard of ice impaled my heart. I've normally just looked at it and convinced myself that I'm happy for them, but now I have come to a conclusion: After this year… I felt jealous over them and I think the only reason I was is that Annie doesn't even deserve him. She isn't even his type! Annie never talked to me, and if she did, she'd spit out some nasty comment at me and Ymir, which would cause her to go ballistic. There were times when I swore that the two were about to have a death battle inside the dorm room. And if my guess was true, I'd hide under the covers and plug my ears. Because knowing Ymir, she would make the fight loud.

I'm jealous of her. I'm jealous of Annie. 'I'm the one who wanted to be his.' I kept thinking. 'Stop it now, Christa.' I mentally slapped myself. I need to stop this… I shouldn't be selfish over something like that… I love him with all of my heart. With this in mind I can stay in control of myself. Therefore, I shouldn't be selfish over this. I need to think about him—not me. Thinking too much about me will only push him away, right?

Biology class was the only class I had with Armin this year. Just like the last, Ms. Zoe would go all day about whatever we were learning that day—with loads of enthusiasm in every sentence. Armin was my lab partner, which made the both of us happy. We would both pay attention to Ms. Zoe's sermons while being at the top of our class. Annie wasn't there, so I could afford to be relieved there, at least. We were at the front of the class, where Ms. Zoe would hear us if we actually talked. I passed him a note. 'It's been awhile since we really talked.' He smiled at me and I returned it. He took the note from me. 'Yeah, it has. After school, then? We need to hang out again!' I nodded.

'I was wondering' I wrote. 'Do you remember that one promise we made as kids?'
He nodded and took the paper back from me. 'Yeah, the one where we stay friends forever and watch out for each other.'

I almost blushed, and nodded back at him. I'm glad he remembers…

The same two verses of a song kept playing in my head:

"I have died everyday waiting for you-

Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a Thousand Years...

I'll love you for a Thousand more...

And all along I believed I would find you,

Time has brought your heart to me-

I've loved you for a Thousand Years...

I'll love you for a Thousand more..."

I started humming to it a little as the rest of class went by. He tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at the note. 'Is that A Thousand Years?' I nodded. 'It's a good song' I nodded again in agreement.

After school, I met up with Armin. "So, what's up? I haven't heard from you in forever, honestly. We never even chat on Facebook." Armin says, sitting down on a nearby bench. I sit down with him.
"Sorry about that." I laugh. "I just never really chat with anyone, I guess."
"Hey, Christa…" He began. "Are you friends with Annie? I mean, not Facebook, but real life."
"No, actually." I squeaked a little. "I don't think she even likes me…" I avoided eye contact with him.
"Oh, uhh, well, I suggest you try to talk to her! She's a lot nicer than she seems!" Armin beamed with enthusiasm.
"Ah… Okay…" I mutter, forcing a smile.
"Also…" Armin continued. "Why did you bring up that promise in class?" He asked.
My eyes widened. "W-well, I just wanted to see if you still remembered it," I lie. I really wanted to talk to him about how Annie hates me and talks crap about me. Rumors around school were starting to spread, and I'm certain it was her. Rumors about like how much of a slut I was supposedly or how Ymir is really a criminal, which were both lies. Ymir almost got suspended because of that; which pissed me off. She was trying to get something out of me.
"Ah, okay." He laughed. "We're friends, that what matters, right? We always tell each other what's wrong, and we have since childhood!"
If only you knew, Armin… I was willing to tell him. "Armin, I," I started, and then stopped. I bit my lips as he looked back at me. "N-never mind…"
"No, what's wrong, Christa?" He asked.
"Nothing…" A replied, getting up.
"Hey, stop that, I know you're lying." He grabbed my hand.
I hurriedly force it away. "I said it's nothing!" I shout. I can't handle this… I don't want to hurt his relationship with her, but… I don't know what I'm supposed to do… I started to run back to my dorm. A few times Armin came around there to knock on my door, asking for me to come out. I just ignored him. I can't face you now. Not now. Please not now… I'm sorry Armin…

The thoughts of that day replayed in my head for several days and haunted my dreams. I even had dreams where Armin turns against me and ends our friendship for her. I woke up crying in the middle of the night due to this. One day I couldn't even deal with it. I saw them kiss in front of their lockers and dashed off elsewhere. I didn't care anymore. It was the end of the day, I could cry in peace… I didn't tell Ymir or Sasha about this. I couldn't. I kept getting the feeling that I had to do this by myself. One could say that not all of my head was working right now…

I balled myself up behind one of the buildings. I finally just let it go. I've had enough of this pain… Someone passed around a rumor that I was a slut trying to get to Armin. It wouldn't surprise me that Annie spread that one too.

I could hear footsteps. "Christa?" I heard a concerned voice say. It was him… Why now of all times, Armin? Why did you come now when I look my worst, showing the result of the malice in my heart? Why aren't you home, where you don't have to see this side of me?

"Leave me alone…" I choke out. I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my jacket and hid my face in it.
He pulled me in for a hug, my knees to his chest. "What happened?! Tell me now!" He ordered in a loud, stern voice.
I brought my head out of it, showing my tear stricken face. "I-I can't Armin… I can't!" I kept bawling, hiding myself again. He forced my arms and head out.
"Tell me… You can tell me anything, you know that. I ran off to find you and I could even tell that Annie was also worried."
Annie. Of course. Fucking Annie. She's all you talk about now!
"Don't say… Her name…" My voice grew cold. He let go to look at me.
"W-what? Christa…?" His eyes were now full of confusion, guilt and worry.
"I hate her." I spit out. "For the longest time now she has bullied me, and tortured me. Obviously you can't even see it. I can't deal with her anymore…" Tears kept spilling, my voice cracking multiple times while I talk. "I didn't want to tell you because I thought that you two were happy… I wanted you to be happy, Armin."
"Christa…" He pulled me in for another hug. Much tighter this time, and I could feel him stiffen. He sniffed. He was also crying! "Christa, you should have told me this sooner…" He sniffed again. "Why did you keep this to yourself? You should have told me right away! This isn't something that you keep to yourself! Why the hell would I be happy knowing that my friend is balling her feelings up inside, refusing to keep her promise?!" He shouted.
I pulled back to start wiping away his tears, ignoring the river of mine.
"It's because… It's because I love you, Armin… I wanted you to be happy with her… She at least had the courage to ask you out unlike me. I'm worthless; first I let her get to you and now this… I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do that… It just… happened that way…" I coughed out.
Armin wiped away my tears. "Christa…" He blushed. "I'm the one who should apologize. I've always liked you back when we were kids and even now. I was afraid you'd reject me, though I took Annie, anyway. I should have paid more attention to you. You are one of my best of friends—no, even more than that, and I didn't even notice that you were going through so much pain. I'm the one who should take that blame… And I didn't mean to blow up at you…"
I lost it. I hugged him as hard as I could—as if he'd disappear if I let go. The tears could not stop now. "Armin!" I cried. He hugged me back.
"Christa… Could you ever forgive me?" He choked out.
"Of course I do… I have died every day waiting for you. I'd love you for a thousand years and a thousand more… This pain is nothing to me now… The wait was worth it…" I sniffed again.
"What you said… Like that one song?" he asked, letting go of me, and using his jacket to clean me up.
"Yes… Exactly like that song…" I laugh a little.

He started singing it in an attempt to cheer me up. I joined him, and both of our voices sounded awful because of our crying. But we laughed at it…

"Well, I think it's time I broke up with her." He stood up.
"Why is that?" I ask.
"There are two reasons," he breathed. "One, because of this talk, and two, because of our promise. I refuse to date someone who hurts my best friend!" He declared.
I stood up and hugged him again. I finally feel alive again… My best-friend-or-more is back with me now… The same two verses came back into my head: