Hi,

This is the first chapter of my first story here in this page. Please, I would be very grateful if you could warn me in case I made mistakes (my native language is Spanish, not English), or if you just want to review. It would be nice. I will try my best to post every Sunday.

Thanks for giving me a chance! :)

Kisses, Elena.

Chapter 1

A few hours before the wedding, in the street.

Elijah felt absolutely overwhelmed, uncommon in him. When it happened, however, he wondered how it was that the same feeling of emptiness served to when he felt everything and when he felt nothing. It was one of those things in life that, after an eternity, he still did not understand.

Among all that was happening in the city and also bearing in mind the yet existing side effects of his captivity, he was feeling that his sanity was hanging by a thin thread. And he hated it. He incredibly hated being to the limit. Who would like to feel that is about to explode?

He preferred serenity. Cool head, he told himself frequently. Control and order were the only absorbent relationships he could afford having, besides those he already had with his family. Although they were not the only ones he wanted.

He sighed. Hayley.

She was always in his thoughts. One way or another. He did not know how or when she had gotten under his skin, but she had done it, and to stay, looked like.

Hayley was different from all the other women. Maybe it was her independence, or the ferocity she used to hide an infinite unexplored sweetness, what undeniably attracted him. Perhaps he unconsciously craved she could teach him how to think a little deeper about himself and act sometime in his own benefit rather than always in the other's.

He recalled the many times he tried to hold back, to stay out of all the things that, for many reasons, did not suit him. Because of the recalling, Elijah also recalled how pathetically he failed each of those times.

Since he knew her, that all his decisions, were made, in part, to her pleasure and wellbeing rather than for the rest of his family's. Even though it was obvious that he cared about the baby, since she was his niece and the redemption of his brother Niklaus (something Elijah had been looking for over a thousand years); love always managed, somehow, of clouding his mind too easily. It transformed his reality into a world where everything was possible and it also made him forget some of his many obligations.

And because of that, he desperately needed order and control in his life. They helped him to keep his feelings in line and to act sensibly. They made him everything that he was supposed to be, what his family needed him to be, what, however, was not any of his siblings: rational, objective, wise, unselfish, and reliable. In summary, an honourable man. No wonder why he received the nickname of "noble Elijah", the good member of the Mikaelson family.

Nevertheless, he was not noble. Much less good. At least, not anymore, because that would mean that his human self, the one who had always fought for what was right and was incapable of an ounce of cruelty, was still alive within him and Elijah knew that, that part of him was already gone. If his memory served, it died a bit each time he allowed his father raise his hand to any of his family. He was a coward, thus, he allowed him to do it a lot of times.

The death of his human self, gave way to his true self, a monster. One that enjoyed of chaos and of the other's suffering. His alter ego was a firm believer of creating by destroying, which reminded him of the film "Donnie Darko", only that in a more sinister form, as it was real. The monster was dedicated to find the things which their victims were more afraid of and he converted them in reality. He made his prey live in their own nightmares.

He acted by bursts of violence and aggression, exactly the opposite behaviour of Elijah. In his horrendous vocabulary did not exist the word compassion, Elijah doubted that it even had the word feelings. Maybe it only had room for murder and torture. Elijah preferred not to know.

The monster wore a thousand years imprisoned. More precisely, tried to keep him imprisoned. There were times when he escaped from his cage, or maybe "the honourable man" permitted him to leave, he could not say in which side was his will anymore. Only on those occasions, Elijah remembers have been really happy. There was no sadness, just the joy of harming. He was very ashamed to admit that after an eternity of pain, that was a relief.

Nevertheless, he hid "his other side" to everyone and also to himself. Elijah wanted to believe that if he ignored him, the monster would just disappear or, at least, he would accept that it is a losing battle, therefore, he would stop to disturb. Instead, he was tireless, especially since her mother had revealed the truth about the death of Elijah's first love, Tatia; the monster seemed to fight harder than ever. Elijah assumed that was because his humanity was fading, as if it were smoke.

He was utterly exhausted.

How long could he hold this whole facade? Sometimes, the incessant attacks of the monster and the pressure of having to be perfect were simply excessive for him. It threatened to end what he had worked hard to build. Nonetheless, Elijah tried his best to prevent it. He promised to take care of his family, always and forever. If he did not fulfil his oaths, what kind of man was he proving to be? Still, it was impossible not feeling slightly tempted, it was, after all, an appealing offer.

Duty before any desire. Duty before any desire. Duty before any desire – he repeated internally... again. It was the particular anchor of Elijah. Whenever he felt he was carried away by the tide, he used the phrase to cling to earth. For an eternity it had worked wonderfully, but the enemy already knew his tactics. After all this time, the monster had probably got used to them and because of the advantage; Elijah could not use it anymore. He would have to find another way. Better soon.

Elijah was tired of being him and also of not being him. He did not know how was going to be his future. Did it matter, really? It would be a very dark period, with certainty.

The only thing that was clear now was that he had to, no; he needed to replace the amount of blood flowing through his veins by alcohol. It was the right time for drastic measures.

Even if there were many bars in New Orleans, his mind was only focused in one: Rousseau's.

It was not exceptional or anything similar, but it was the site where Camille worked. She was, after all, a friend and a protected of his family. There was no doubt that the waitress was aware of his situation and she would immediately inform his brother of where he was. Which, frankly, not amused him, but Elijah preferred to be located, than having to endure multiple calls and awkward and pointless conversations.

Furthermore, Elijah was sure that if he asked her politely and gave her a generous tip, she would allow him to have a long meeting with each of its multiple options.

Although, of course, he would end up, as always, opting for the bottle of whiskey. It was the fastest and delicious way to reach his next objective: stop thinking for a few hours. At least, not remembering what he had thought. He honestly did not care. Elijah just wanted some calm and time for him, for a change.