Don't give up

by wilsonstories

Will and Sonny one-shot.

Hi everyone, happy New Year to all of you. I don't know about all of you, but I was in the mood for some happy mushy Wilson, and as DOOL is not going to give us that for a while I decided to do another one-shot. Hope you all like it, let me know!

This story is set in the future. Paul and Derrick are in the past, but Will and Sonny are still separated from each other.

(¬¬¬¬¬¬)

Will's POV

"When did you last speak to Sonny…?"

My grandmother hands me a cup of coffee and with a sigh I sit down on her couch:

"I saw him yesterday when I dropped off Ari at the club for a few hours."

"That is not what I meant…"

"What?"

I try to look as though I don't know what she is talking about, but when I see the look in her eyes I feel my shoulders slump. I bite my bottom lip while I let my thoughts wander through the past weeks, months even. With a voice soft with pain, shame, and guilt I answer her question:

"I don't even remember…"

I feel her sit down next to me while she softly strokes my back:

"That long ago, huh?"

I shrug, playing with the cup in my hand, trying not to give in to the emotions deep down inside me.

"Perhaps you should initiate a conversation… not one about Ari or about when you pick her up or drop her off at his place… but actually have a conversation…"

I don't say anything as I try to imagine how that would go. For a minute I can imagine his brown eyes lightning up while we sit down at one of the tables at the club, how we both reach out at the same time and how he flashes me a bright smile and holds my hand in his as it used to be. But that image only lasts a short time and then all I can see is his eyes turning to a sad black. His lips pursed in a straight line while he refuses to talk to me as he doesn't believe we have anything to say to each other.

"Will?"

I look up and take a deep breath. I smile a lopsided smile and lean over to kiss her cheek:

"I know you want to help… but I am not sure if… if Sonny and I… you know…"

I shrug again and she just wraps her grandmother arms around me:

"I just think you shouldn't give up on you two…"

I lean my chin on her shoulder and promise a bit reluctantly:

"I'll think about it…"

(…)

While I put Ari in her buggy I try to find the words to say to him. The awkward silences between us always make me nervous and this time is no exception. I feel my hands shake and I can't help starting to sweat when I cannot get all the little straps sorted. He suddenly moves in and takes over. Before I know it his hands brush mine and when I feel the thud in my heart I tell myself to be brave. With all the courage I can scrape up I ask softly:

"What are you doing tonight?"

He stands up straight and looks at me with a frown:

"Why?"

I shrug, wishing I could control the blush that covers my cheeks. He chews on his bottom lip and then gestures towards a pile of paperwork:

"I think I will be here for a couple more hours… lots of paperwork that needs doing…"

I nod. Our eyes meet. My heart skips a beat and I take a breath to say something. But then I stop, suddenly having lost the courage I found earlier. While I grab Ari's bag I mumble:

"OK then… thanks…"

But before I can pick Ari up, he asks:

"You wanted to say something…"

I don't deny it. He knows me better than I know myself, so denying it is pointless. His hand rests on Ari's buggy in a wordless way to let me know that I cannot yet leave. I stare at the floor and hear my grandmother's voice in my head telling me not to give up yet. I insecurely put my hands on my hips and then I ask him without meeting his eyes:

"I was wondering if I could come over… to talk… you know… but I understand you're busy… so…"

The courage dies out again and my voice turns into a whisper. I expect him to leave it at that, but instead I hear him say:

"Well, I think I am here till about ten… so… I guess you can just come over… you know…"

His slightly awkward answer makes me happier than I have been in months and with a wide smile I nod:

"OK then…"

He removes his hand from the buggy and takes a step back. Without looking at him I grab Ari and walk out of the door. The moment I am outside I ring my grandmother:

"Grandma… hi"

"Hi honey… what's up?"

"I was wondering… I need a favour…"

"Sure."

"Can you babysit Ari tonight for a few hours?"

"Of course… what time do you need me to come over?"

"Uhm… eight… eight will be fine."

"No problem, honey…. I'll see you tonight."

With a sigh I hang up and then I look down at my little baby girl. Her blue eyes sparkle and babbles:

"Daddy… daddy Sonny…"

I smile fondly and nod while stroking her soft cheek:

"You love daddy Sonny, don't you?"

And while I put her in the car I mumble:

"So do I, pumpkin… so do I."

(…)

While I approach the club I see most of the lights are dimmed. When I look through the window I see him sitting at one of the tables with a stack of paper work in front of him. They seem untouched. Instead his fingers are playing with his pen while he seems to stare at something on the table. I take a deep breath and reach out to knock on the door. I frown as I never knocked before. But the way things are I think I should knock before marching in. He turns around when I walk in and I immediately see what he was staring at. It is a picture of me and Ari at the zoo. His eyes follow mine and quickly a deep red covers his cheeks. I nod at the picture and mumble:

"That was a nice day."

He grabs the picture and puts it on the bar face down and coughs to compose himself. The awkward silence is back and I feel my brain racing a million miles an hour to come up with something to break the ice. But he gestures at the table:

"Have a seat… I'll make you a coffee."

Soon I am holding a hot coffee cup between my hands and he pushes the stack of papers to one side. He coughs again:

"Ari asleep?"

"Yeah… she was tired…"

He nods, while he rubs his hands together. I know he does that when he feel awkward or uncomfortable. It saddens me that we are both walking on egg shells around the person we once were most comfortable with. He takes a deep breath and asks:

"So… what did you want to talk about?"

The questions almost feel like a punch in my stomach. I know I came here to talk as I have so much to say to him, but right now I have no idea what those things were and whether they are appropriate. I bite my bottom lip and look around, eventually landing my eyes on the picture on the bar. It gives me a bit of strength and hope, realising he was sitting here by himself staring at a picture with me in it. I don't realise it has been quiet for a while, but when I look at him he smiles a little. I raise my eyebrows and he explains:

"You are biting your lip… you always do that when you are nervous…"

I nod, but before I can say anything he continues:

"Don't be nervous… not with me…please…"

I look up and the softness of his brown eyes is almost too much. I stand up from the table and in the middle of the club I stand with my back turned towards him. My hands rest on my hips and I start talking:

"I made so many mistakes… and everything just broke down… and now…. Every day I am reminded of everything that went wrong in my life. Every day I am reminded of what I could have had… you know… we used to be so close and these days…"

I turn around and look at him:

"These days you are there and I am here… You are all the way over there…"

I hear a certain panic in my voice as if he is at the other side of the world. He stands up but doesn't move closer to me:

"We both made mistakes, Will. We let so many people get in the way… we let them get between us…"

I am biting my bottom lip again without even realising that I am. I can no longer hide the pain I feel and I know he can see it in my eyes. He takes one step towards me while asking:

"Can we fix this?"

I swallow hard and whisper:

"I really want to…"

His brown eyes seem to sparkle, but the tension in his face is still there:

"How?"

I wish there was a standard 10-step solution to all this. But right now we have to find our own way and softly I suggest:

"I guess… we need to talk… about… about everything…"

He nods and whispers:

"No secrets?"

I take two steps towards him:

"No secrets."

Suddenly I find yourself holding out my hand while I mumble:

"Pinkie swear."

A soft smile crosses his face and I am sure we are both thinking about our very early dating times, when we made the same promise at the coffee house. He curls his pinkie around mine and when our eyes meet I feel my heart skip a beat.

(…)

I reach for my phone knowing it is a message from Sonny. We have now been talking again for four weeks and we have grown closer and closer. We have closed our past chapters in which other people seems to take lead roles, and now we are carefully starting a new one. A chapter rooted in trust and a renewed understanding of how much we mean to each other. The only rule we have at the moment is that we have no physical contact. We decided that we wanted a firm foundation before we let our physical attraction take over. And although I totally agreed with that rule, it is becoming very difficult to stick to it. His message is sweet:

'Good morning. Hope you can come by this evening at the club, am preparing for New Year's Eve celebrations.'

I smile, realising that this is only a day away and I quickly respond:

'Will ask around for a babysitter!'

It only takes me ten minutes to get Rafe to look after his little niece for an evening and I text Sonny:

'All sorted, will be there usual time.'

At eight o'clock I walk into the club, this time without knocking. I just walk in, awaited by his bright, blinding smile. I want to lean in and kiss him, but given our rule I just smile back:

"Hi…"

"Hi… do you mind helping me to get some boxes with decorations from my office?"

"Sure… no problem."

When I walk into his office the first thing I see is a framed picture on his desk. I can't help but pick it up and look at Sonny with question marks in my eyes. He smiles shyly and I ask:

"You got this here?"

He shrugs and takes the frame from my hands to carefully put it back on his desk:

"Isn't that what people do? They put pictures of loved ones on their desk…."

He walks past me and grabs a box while I just process what he just said. He carries a box into the club and after he puts it down I ask:

"What?"

"What?"

"You said…"

"Yes… I did…"

I feel my teeth sink into my lip and I have to fight myself to not launch myself towards him, pull him close and kiss the life out of him. His brown eyes tell me he is having the same issues I am having right know, so we both turn our attention to the boxes and the decorations. We spent the next hour and a half decorating the club and then it is time for me to go home to Ari. I grab my phone and my keys from the table and walk towards the door. I open it and hesitate. I turn around to face him:

"Do you know what else people do?"

He frowns and I just hold up my phone to show him my screen saver:

"They put pictures of loves ones as their screen saver…"

I can see the happiness in his eyes when he sees a picture of himself on my phone. And then he smiles his thousand watt smile while he grabs his own phone. He holds it up for me to see as he mumbles:

"I know…."

(…)

The club is filled with people waiting to ring in the New Year. T is swamped at the bar and I try to push myself through the crowd until I am right in front of him.

"Will… hi…"

"Hi T…"

"Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah… uhm… no…"

I see him frown and then I lean over the bar and ask:

"Where is Sonny?"

He smiles widely:

"I knew you two would eventually work it out…"

"T… where is he…"

He looks around and shrugs:

"It is too crowded to see… but he is in there somewhere…"

I sigh and turn around while I hear everyone around starting the countdown:

"10…9…"

I take a few steps into the crowd and suddenly he is there, right in front of me.

"Will…"

His eyes light up and he smiles in a way that can only be described as hopeful. The crowd just keeps counting around us:

"8…7…6"

"Hi…"

I hate myself for not knowing what else to say. But as always he puts me at ease with just a few words:

"So good to see you…"

I just smile at him.

"5…4"

"Why are you here?"

"3…"

"Because…"

He raises his eyebrows.

"2…"

"Because… I really want to kiss you at midnight…"

"1!"

The people around us erupt in a choir of Happy New Year wishes, but to us everything seems to be in slow motion. Although the noise around us is incredibly loud it feels as though I am hearing it through a large long tube. He just takes a step towards me, while his hands come up to cup my face. Suddenly his body is pressed against me, and only moments later I feel his lips on mine. His tongue softly licks my bottom lip and I don't hesitate to let him deepen our kiss. I can't breathe and yet I feel as though my body finally fills up on oxygen again. His hands go over my shoulders until they find their favourite place on my waist, in an almost possessive grip. My hands have found their usual place in his hair and I cannot help but pull at it a bit while I hold onto it as though I am holding on for dear life. We need to break apart as we both desperately need to breathe in. His arms curve around my waist and my arms curl around his neck. I feel how he leans his chin in the crook of my neck and I feel tears in my eyes when I realise I am not the only one squeezing tightlyI can feel his heart pound against my chest and I just lay my hand on the back of his head as to let him know he is right where he belongs. And it is when I hear his whisper that I know we are back to normal, back to how we used to be, back to us:

"I love you… I love you so much…"

I lean back only a little so I can look at him. His deep chocolate brown eyes are swimming in unshed tears and with endless tenderness I cup his face in my hands. I immediately stroke a tear away that drips from his left eye. He blinks and bites his bottom lip and I just smile:

"I love you too."

He is crying now and I realise I have never seen him cry before. I have seen him close to tears and I have seen him emotional, but never like this. Usually I am the one who is crying in front of him, but this time I am the one wiping his tears away.

"I need you in my life, Will… promise me…"

He is whispering, unable to speak out loud. I kiss his lips softly and whisper back:

"We will never be apart again, Son… never… You are everything to me…"

He sighs a heavy sigh of intense relief and then curls up again against my chest. I just wrap him up close while I whisper in his ear:

"Happy New Year, baby…"

(…)

The moment we walk into our apartment together I want to scream with joy. We thank grandma Marlena for looking after Ari and she just gives us both a hug while saying:

"This is a perfect way to start the New Year… my dear boys…"

After the door closes behind her I turn to Sonny. I walk towards him but am startled when he takes a few steps back:

"What's wrong…? I thought…"

He smiles his naughty-smile and nods happily:

"Don't worry, babe… it's just… can we just go and see Ari for a bit? I… I missed that…"

I can't help feeling emotional from his sweet request and I grab his hand and pull him towards Ari's room. I feel the butterflies in my stomach when he leans over her and softly kisses her cheek before whispering:

"Sweet dreams, sweet pea…"

She doesn't wake up as she is completely used to his fatherly touch. We make sure her little night light is on and then we walk back into the living room. I walk to the fridge and ask:

"You want anything to drink?"

When he answers me I am surprised he is so close to me:

"No… and neither do you."

Before I can respond he has turned me around and my back is pressed against the closed fridge door. His body pushes into mine while his hands start roaming under my shirt. I moan softly into his kiss, feeling my body tingle from the intense passion that radiates from him. When he lets go I quickly breathe in and raise my arms so he can take my shirt off. The moment his hands are on my chest I shiver uncontrollably. He smiles knowingly:

"I missed you too…"

I don't want to waste any more time and soon we are in our bedroom. It only takes a few seconds and then we are skin on skin. It immediately slow us down, suddenly realising how privileged we are to be so intimately close to each other again. His dark eyes are pools of chocolate and I have to catch my breath. He rests our foreheads together and I cannot stop trembling with emotion as I feel his breath on my skin and his body so close to mine. Tears are filling my eyes and I whisper apologetically:

"I'm sorry… I'm such a mess…"

He looks at me and just strokes my cheek with his thumb. Then he looks into my eyes with an intense tenderness:

"That's because… It is never just sex with us…"

In one movement he is on top of me and he starts to pepper my face with soft kisses. The tears that role down my cheeks are sweetly kissed away and I feel his breath warming my skin when he whispers:

"This is perfect…perfect is the word."

"Hope you all enjoyed it… let me know! Hugs