ABC STANDARDS & PRACTICES ANNOUNCER: The following program contains non-explicit resolved sexual tension. As such, viewer discretion is advi—
TONY: (voiceover) Ay-oh, oh-ay! Resolved?! You mean me and Angela?
ABCS&PA: Who else?
TONY: But this is what happened last week….(Flashback clips to "The Proposal.")…How did we get from that to, um, resolution in one episode?
ANGELA: (seductively in voiceover) Well, it happened something like this….
Scene I: Angela's bedroom
TONY: You think you made the right decision?
ANGELA: Tony, Tony, you don't think about these things, you feel them. (Tony corrects her Italian hand gesture, his hand holding below her wrist) Oh. (Then they look down at his hand and he lets go.)
TONY: I, uh, I guess I should put the ladder away.
ANGELA: Yes, before the neighbors think we're eloping.
TONY: (indignantly) I would never elope!
ANGELA: I thought you were Mr. Emotion and Spontaneity.
TONY: That doesn't mean I wouldn't want a big church wedding. Uh, if I was gonna get married again.
ANGELA: Right. I don't know what kind of wedding I'd want. If I were to get married again.
TONY: Sorry you lost the chance to find out.
ANGELA: (smiling) I'm not.
TONY: (smiling back) Me, too.
ANGELA: I am a little sorry I'm alone on Valentine's Day.
TONY: Oh, yeah, I forgot what day it is. With everything going on.
ANGELA: So I guess you don't have a Valentine either this year.
TONY: Angela, would you—? Hold on, let me do this right. (He gets down on one knee.) Angela, would you do me the great honor of being my Valentine?
ANGELA: Sey.
TONY: Why are you saying "say"?"
ANGELA: No, it's like "on" for "no."
TONY: So S-E-Y?
ANGELA: Sey.
TONY: (getting to his feet) Great! I mean, it'll be nice because we'll have someone to, to talk to. Since the kids are gone till tomorrow.
ANGELA: Both of them?
TONY: Yeah, after you went upstairs with laryngitis, Jonathan asked if he could spend today and tonight at his friend Steven's.
ANGELA: Steven's?
TONY: Yeah, he'll be back around noon. He wants to show off the ant farm Geoff got him for Christmas. I would've checked with you, but I didn't think you wanted to talk about Geoff just then.
ANGELA: OK. And Samantha?
TONY: She's at Bonnie's slumber-party/romance-movie-marathon. Coed, but the boys have to leave by midnight. And heavily chaperoned, I checked.
ANGELA: Of course you did.
TONY: So, uh, it's probably too late to make dinner reservations.
ANGELA: Yes, all the nice restaurants will be booked for tonight.
TONY: Right, but I can make you a nice home-cooked dinner. What would you like?
ANGELA: A kiss.
TONY: Excuse me?
ANGELA: A kiss.
TONY: You don't mean the chocolate kind, do you?
ANGELA: No, although it's just as sweet, from what I remember.
TONY: From what you remember? You mean from swapping spit when we were 13—
ANGELA: You were 11.
TONY: Right. Or do you mean that time you got drunk and kissed me in the kitchen?
ANGELA: You kissed me.
TONY: No way. I remember that night a lot better than you do, and you started it.
ANGELA: Well, maybe, but you continued it.
TONY: I think we need to reconstruct that night.
ANGELA: You want us to get drunk again?
TONY: We can skip that part. Besides, do you remember what I said about wanting you to remember it next time?
ANGELA: (blushing) Tony, are you saying you're ready to "lose me as a friend"?
TONY: I'm sayin' whatever happens, we need to think clearly.
ANGELA: (gulping) Right. (She kisses him on the mouth.)
TONY: Oh, I thought we were gonna do that in the kitchen.
ANGELA: I decided you were right, I kissed you first.
TONY: That time, yeah. (He kisses her on the mouth.) We can take turns.
ANGELA: And sometimes we can start it at the same time. (They grab each other and kiss passionately. Then they break apart, stunned.)
TONY: Well, I guess I don't have to carry you upstairs this time.
ANGELA: If we ever make it downstairs. I mean, not "make it," but, you know.
TONY: Yeah. Angela, I'm not thinking too clearly anymore.
ANGELA: Me neither.
TONY: Wasn't there something I was supposed to take care of?
ANGELA: Dinner?
TONY: It's early afternoon. There's plenty of time. (They start kissing passionately again, and we see them move towards the bed. Fade to black and then commercial.)
Scene II: Angela's bedroom, eighteen hours later
(Tony and Angela are asleep. She's still wearing her long pale blue nightgown but he's now shirtless. She stretches her arm and it lands on his face. He gently lowers her arm and caresses it. They wake up a little and smile at each other.)
ANGELA: (sleepily) Good morning, Tony.
TONY: Morning, Angela. (Then he wakes up more.) What am I doing here?
ANGELA: I thought you were going to remember.
TONY: I remember, I remember! I just thought it was a dream.
ANGELA: Do you have these kinds of dreams often?
TONY: (hesitantly) Maybe once or twice.
ANGELA: (dreamily) Me, too.
TONY: Yeah?
ANGELA: Yeah.
TONY: Sorry about dinner.
ANGELA: We did get a little distracted, didn't we?
TONY: Yeah. Not that I'm complaining.
ANGELA: Me neither. In fact.
TONY: Yeah?
ANGELA: Well, remember me telling you last night about that little problem I had with Geoffrey?
TONY: Where you couldn't "get to Maine" but he finally got you to "Rhode Island"?
ANGELA: (blushing) Yes. Well, thank you for getting me to Rhode Island. And Maine. And the rest of New England.
TONY: Well, thank you for getting me to Texas.
ANGELA: (embarrassed and flattered at the same time) Tony!
TONY: Deep in the heart of Texas. (She giggles girlishly.)
ANGELA: Maybe next time we can try for something even bigger, like Alaska.
TONY: Yeah? Mutual Alaska?
ANGELA: That would be lovely.
TONY: OK, but first I'm heading south. (We hear her giggle again as the screen fades to black again.)
Scene III: The living room, two hours later
(Mona enters from the back door, carrying a large, full mailbag. She lugs it over to the coffee table and she sits on the couch. She opens the bag and starts sorting letters on the table. Angela, wearing her blue robe, looking exhausted, descends the staircase. She's startled to see Mona.)
ANGELA: (with a hoarse voice) Mother, what are you doing here?
MONA: Angela, what day is it?
ANGELA: (has to think a moment) Sunday?
MONA: And it's the day after Valentine's Day.
ANGELA: You're not going to tell me those are all the cards you got this year?
MONA: Don't be silly, Dear. There's another bag in my apartment.
ANGELA: Why did you bring them here?
MONA: I have to organize them. And your living room is much bigger.
ANGELA: Of course.
MONA: Or is it insensitive of me to do this when you've just broken up with Geoffrey?
ANGELA: How did you know I broke up with Geoffrey?
MONA: I saw a Porsche arrive yesterday, and I saw it drive away a few minutes later. For good?
ANGELA: Yes, for good.
MONA: (looking up) Hallelujah!
ANGELA: Mother.
MONA: I'm sorry, Dear. I know you're probably very upset.
ANGELA: No, I'm fine. It was the right decision.
MONA: Well, I just wondered, because Tony said yesterday that you got laryngitis worrying about it, and your voice is still hoarse.
ANGELA: Oh, right. My voice. Well, that's from screaming.
MONA: (intrigued) Really?
ANGELA: (gesturing at the television) Screaming at the TV.
MONA: The TV?
ANGELA: Yes. They, they were having a romance-movie marathon and I started yelling at the contrived, unrealistic, sexist scenarios.
MONA: Scenarios plural? Why did you keep watching if it upset you so much?
ANGELA: Well, it was sort of cathartic.
MONA: I see. (She starts sorting her cards again. Tony, still shirtless but wearing his pajama bottoms, descends the stairs. Angela tries to signal to him to go back upstairs but Mona looks up in time to catch him.) Good morning, Tony.
TONY: (hoarsely) Hey, Mone.
MONA: (to Angela) Was he screaming, too?
TONY: (both confused and trying to act innocent) Screaming?
ANGELA: Yes, Tony. Screaming at the stupid romance movies last night.
TONY: Oh, right. Real dumb.
MONA: So you two spent Valentine's Day in front of the idiot box?
T & A: (together) Yes.
MONA: How pathetic! Well, Angela at least has an excuse.
ANGELA: Mother!
MONA: Your break-up, Dear. But, you? Tony the stud? You couldn't do better than that?
TONY: For your information, Mona, I had a wonderful evening. Um, watching TV.
MONA: (shaking her head) Well, I guess it couldn't have been worse than last year when you two had a blind date and you maxed out Angela's credit card.
ANGELA: (quietly) Yes, this was an improvement. (She and Tony try not to meet each other's eyes.)
MONA: And just think, you didn't even need Jonathan to fix you up this time. (Jonathan enters the front door, carrying an overnight bag and an ant farm.)
JONATHAN: (setting down his things) Hi, Mom. Hi, Tony. Wow, Grandma that's a lot of Valentines!
MONA: (shrugging) This is just A through L.
ANGELA: Jonathan Sweetie, you're home early.
JONATHAN: Some of my ants escaped, so Steven's mom sent me home.
ANGELA: Oh, that's too bad. I mean about the ants.
JONATHAN: (shrugging) I'll ask whatshisname, I mean Geoffrey, to buy me some more.
TONY: Uh, Pal, I don't think that's a good idea.
JONATHAN: OK, I'll wait for my birthday.
ANGELA: (going to him and taking his hand) Sweetheart, Geoffrey isn't going to be here for your birthday.
JONATHAN: (sighing) OK, I guess it can wait till next Christmas but I don't like having a broken colony.
ANGELA: No, Jonathan, Geoffrey isn't going to be here again.
JONATHAN: Ever?
ANGELA: Not ever.
JONATHAN: (looking up) Hallelujah! (Angela glares at Mona, who puts on a "who me?" expression.)
TONY: Jonathan, your mom did what's right for her.
JONATHAN: Tony, can I ask you something?
TONY: I was yelling at the TV.
JONATHAN: Huh?
TONY: My sore throat, I yelled at the TV.
JONATHAN: Not that.
TONY: Oh, well, you see sometimes grown-ups do things that are hard to explain.
JONATHAN: Like leaving the ladder leaning against Mom's window?
T & A: (together) WHAT?
MONA: I was going to ask about that.
TONY: (to himself) I knew I forgot something.
JONATHAN: What was it doing there?
TONY: I, I was cleaning windows of course.
JONATHAN: Then why is there the word "no" on Mom's window?
TONY: Vandals!
JONATHAN: Vandals?
TONY: Yeah, these teens came by, sprayed a word on your mom's window, and then ran off when I yelled at them.
JONATHAN: I thought you yelled at the TV.
TONY: That was later. First I yelled at the teenagers.
MONA: The teenagers who climbed up to Angela's window?
TONY: Yeah, they, they—
ANGELA: They used our ladder.
MONA: The nerve of them!
JONATHAN: Why did they write "no"?
TONY: Well, they, you see—
ANGELA: They were from North Haven.
TONY: Yeah, I saw their jackets.
MONA: Maybe you can identify them to the police.
TONY: Well, Angela and I agreed not to press charges.
ANGELA: Yes, you know, high-spirited youth.
MONA: But this is vandalism! I can't believe you're taking this so lightly.
JONATHAN: But why did they just write N-O?
TONY: I interrupted them. And then I got interrupted when I was trying to clean it off. I'll go finish that now. (He grabs a jacket and goes out the front door.)
JONATHAN: Mom, can I ask you something?
ANGELA: Is it about Geoffrey?
JONATHAN: Sort of.
ANGELA: Sweetheart, why don't you take your things upstairs and we'll have a little talk when you come back downstairs?
JONATHAN: OK. (He grabs his bag and farm, then heads upstairs.)
MONA: Dear, before you have that little mother-son talk, I'd like to have a mother-daughter talk.
ANGELA: Now?
MONA: Yes, now.
ANGELA: (sighing) Let's go in the kitchen
Scene IV: The kitchen, a few minutes later
(Mona watches in amazement and amusement as Angela raids the refrigerator.)
MONA: Feeling a little peckish, Dear?
ANGELA: (blushing as she takes ice cream out of the freezer) I haven't had breakfast yet.
MONA: What about dinner last night?
ANGELA: (quietly) No.
MONA: Lunch? (Angela has to think about it. Then she blushes more.)
ANGELA: No.
MONA: What, not even popcorn during the marathon?
ANGELA: Not exactly. (She stuffs her face with cookies, not only because she's starved but because she doesn't want to have this conversation.)
MONA: And Tony? Did he have anything?
ANGELA: (with her mouth full) Is there any of that apple pie left?
MONA: Angela, I'm your mother, talk to me. (Angela sighs and swallows.)
ANGELA: About Geoffrey?
MONA: Sort of. What brought you to your senses?
ANGELA: (quietly) Tony.
MONA: (smiling) So he gave you his opinion?
ANGELA: Yes.
MONA: And how exactly did he convince you?
ANGELA: He just made me see that love isn't something you think about.
MONA: Huh?
ANGELA: It's something you feel.
MONA: I see. And were you thinking while his ladder was against your window?
ANGELA: Mother!
MONA: So to speak.
ANGELA: OK, Mother, I'm only going to say this once and I'm not going into detail and if you tell anyone, I'll kill you.
MONA: Go on.
ANGELA: Do you remember the night I couldn't remember and I thought something happened with Tony?
MONA: Vividly.
ANGELA: Well, I remember last night. Vividly.
MONA: Hallelujah!
ANGELA: Mother, stop that. You're a bad influence on Jonathan.
MONA: And apparently a bad influence on you.
ANGELA: Mother, this isn't like that. Tony is very special to me and it wasn't just about fun.
MONA: Oh, God forbid you have fun.
ANGELA: I didn't say it wasn't fun.
MONA: Oo, do tell!
ANGELA: Mother, don't you have some Valentine's cards to sort? At your apartment?
MONA: (sighing wearily) I guess I just have to be happy that it finally happened.
ANGELA: Are you happy, Mother?
MONA: (sincerely) Very. This is what I've always wanted for you both. (They hug. Tony enters and smiles at this touching moment. Then Mona breaks away from Angela.) So I'm going to the pharmacy later. Do want me to pick you two up some— (They glare at her.) Cough syrup?
TONY: No, thank you, Mona. I've got an old family remedy.
MONA: (suggestively) I'm sure you do.
TONY: Hey, getoutahere!
MONA: All right, but, unlike Geoffrey, I shall return.
TONY: Thank you, General MacArthur. (Mona salutes and then exits through the door to outside.)
ANGELA: Well, so much for the mother-daughter talk. Now for the mother-son talk.
TONY: You can hold off on that. I checked in on Jonathan and he's out like a light. I think he, Steven, and the ants were up late. (Angela yawns. Tony smiles.) Yeah, they weren't the only ones.
ANGELA: Maybe we should go back to bed.
TONY: (whispering as if they might be overheard) With Jonathan down the hallway?
ANGELA: I mean separately.
TONY: Oh, right. Yeah. Like how we had to bathe separately.
ANGELA: Well, Tony, I was afraid if we were in the bathtub together, we'd never make it downstairs.
TONY: (smiling as if remembering something) Yeah.
ANGELA: What?
TONY: I was just thinking of the first time I saw you naked.
ANGELA: You said you had a lousy memory!
TONY: What was I supposed to say? I caught my boss, my new boss, coming out of the tub.
ANGELA: I was so embarrassed!
TONY: Believe me, you had and have nothing to be embarrassed about.
ANGELA: (blushing for a different reason now) Really?
TONY: Yeah. And you're even better than I remember. (They kiss. Then there's a pounding at the door to outside.)
ANGRY WOMAN: Open up, you shameless hussy! (Tony and Angela stare at each other. Freeze frame.)
TO BE CONTINUED