A/N: Random stories just seem to be coming out of me lately...
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR. Duh.
Fun On Ice
The Fellowship were, today, randomly skating on a random pond. It was winter, naturally, but they were all wearing their normal clothes and they weren't cold because, you see, it was a magical pond. It kept them warm, even if they were lying down on the ice the whole time as Gimli, whose balance was horrid, was doing.
They all had bright yellow hats on, special gifts from their Hobbit friends, as Hobbits just adore bright colors.(But you all knew that already)
"Look!" Some random person said.(Actually, it was Boromir, who is, by the way, supposed to be dead.)
Everyone stopped ice skating and looked at the sky(Because that was where the supposed-to-be-dead Boromir was pointing)
In the sky was one of those blimp things that are really annoying. But nobody knew what it was, so they decided that Legolas should shoot it down with one of his arrows. Unfortunately, he had forgotten his bow because he had to leave his house in a hurry, as he was being chased by a flock of rabid fangirls. But the Magical Pond was keeping those fangirls away at present.
Anyway, all they had were rubber bands and a stick, so they made a sort of slingshot with it and Legolas successfully hit the blimp. Only the arrow didn't stick in it. It bounced off.
"Wow..." said everyone.
Then the blimp disappeared. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an ostrich came leaping onto the ice! Pippin jumped on it's back and started riding it like it was a bull at a rodeo. A cowboy hat came out of nowhere and landed itself on his head.
The the ostrich turned into an crocodile, and it tried to eat the Fellowship, but they stabbed it with magical sporks and it died.
"Look! In the distance, a rider comes forth!" Legolas said, his speech poetic as usual, but, as we should all know, he had just done a good job of memorizing the script.
"I think it's a woman..." Merry said, squinting his eyes.
And it was a woman, and she was dressed in a very shiny gown. "I bring you tidings from Squeaky, King of the Rubber Duckies and Emperor of this pond. He demands to know who you are!"
"I'm Pippin!"
"Gimli, son of Gloin, and don't you forget it!"
"Meriadoc Brandybuck."
"Mr. Underhill."
"Strider."
"Boromir, son of the Steward of Gondor."
"Legolas of Mirkwood."
"Samwise Gamgee. Please don't hurt us..."
"Mithrandir, Gandalf the Grey/White...Whatever you want to call me is fine."
And so the introductions rolled on. They discovered that the shiny lady's name was Aie. Pronounced, she said, 'Aye'. It meant sunrise in her country, apparently.
"Well, King Squeaky of the Rubber Duckies is coming this way with his army, to bomb your little gathering. Ta!"
And so Aie rode away on her magnificent stallion, while the Fellowship panicked.
"THEY ARE GONNA BOMB US!"
"Wait, what IS a bomb?"
"Somebody get me my axe..."
But King Squeaky never came. Later the Fellowship learned that he had melted because the sun reflected off of his messenger Aie's clothes and killed him.
The Fellowship continued skating, while wondering what kind of crazy people there were in this world, and hoping that no one would ever ever find out about this little episode of theirs.
The End
A/N: Random, I know. Rather scary, too. Sometimes I scare myself. Please take note that I wrote this late at night and while on a sugar high, and that I am, without a doubt, insane.