A/U: After some thought I decided to post this cathartic little fic here as well as AO3 where it was original posted.

Thanks are also due to tumblr's Accio-Beatles for brit-picking!

"What was it like for you?" Martin asks suddenly breaking the silence between the pilot and the steward.

Arther meets his gaze with a befuddled look.

"Growing up, I mean," he clarifies.

"Oh. It was... you know." Arthur replies uncharacteristically quiet.

They sit, each lost in his own world of memories better left forgotten.

"It was mum for me." Martin adds to the silence. "I mean, she never... never actually hit me or anything." Arthur tenses slightly as he continues, "but that doesn't make it right."

The younger man nods not meeting his captain's pale gaze.

"It was just... stuff like... 'You should be better than this.' and 'Why can't you be more like your siblings?' and 'I didn't bear and raise a failure!'" He stops for a moment, colecting his thoughts. "She told me it was my fault, that I deserve it, telling me 'it's for my own good' and she's 'only trying to help'." Martin concludes softly.

A few droplets fall from Arthur's nose onto heavily creased trousers.

The two sit sombrely and the steward gathers himself enough to voice his thoughts, however painful a past they bring up. "It wasn't really that bad, you know?" His breath hitches slightly. "Normal stuff. A slap here and there, sometimes he'd make me trip on purpose and a couple of times he took off his belt but..." Arthur ground his eyes shut, angrily rubbing the tears away. "But right before the divorce I... I fell down the stairs and hit my head. I don't even remember what he was mad about... just trying to get away from him. He yelled at me to 'get up' and some other stuff but I-" the words catch in his throat "-I was so dizzy."

Awkwardly Martin places his arm around Arthur's shoulders.

"When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Mum was sitting next to me, red eyed and sad. She told me that I'd been asleep a long time and that I'd never have to deal with him again."

"I had to re-lean a bunch. Walking, talking so people could understand... stupid things. But I couldn't do it." Arthur exhales loudly caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "I couldn't do it anymore! Things I had done for years without thinking took ages and never turned out right. It was so hard Skip... it was so hard..! I'm still not right either, and I won't ever be right because brains don't heal like scrapes with a kiss and a sticking plaster!"

Martin pulls him into a tight hug as Arthur sobs.

The wrenching sound that would shatter even a sky god's stone cold heart dies down, dissolving into little hiccups.

"H-he bought GERTI for me 'cuz I wanted to be a pilot. Before... before things went wrong. Then when I found out he wanted her again... and mum couldn't do anything, and Douglass didn't know how fix it..." He mumbles something else which Martin doesn't quite hear or understand.

"It hurts, Skip." Arthur whispers miserably.

Martin just holds his friend close, fighting back a fresh wave of his own tears.

Fin