Summary: Cody struggles after their mom leaves him and Zack. – It's not until you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything.

Note: So, this is my first fan fiction... The quotes in the beginnings of chapters are mostly from Fight Club (well, it is my favorite movie… haha) and the first chapter is mainly setting up the rest. The italics are his memories/dream and those parts have already happened. The regular fonts (no italics) are the points in present time where he'ssleeping.It's in 3rd person sort of and this is the only chapter with extensive past events I guess...

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own it.

Little Thoughts

If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

The cold air took breaths into Cody's mouth. The chill was exhausting and he wrapped his arms around his chest. He rested his back against the wall slowly. And he'd been so sure, still a note on the wall said differently – "This isn't going to work out." Tracing the lines of the pencil scratches with his fingers, he'd taken it to Zack. At 13, things weren't meant to be so strange. But still, she'd left. Mom, a word that rolls of the tongue so lightly, so carefully.

And here they were, resting on the wall, two 13-year-old boys, pushed up against each other's shoulders. Cody folded the letter between his fingers and slipped it into his pocket. Zack held his brother's hand softly. Zack searched inside his own pocket for his cell phone. He had no idea of who to call.

Three years passed in a detached mode – slowing here for moments, passing over other thoughts in quick progression. And this form would be repeated until finally, it would come apart suddenly, and after which it might as well have never happened.

Cody and Zack sat quietly on a bench in an office building with heavy fluorescent lights pouring over the room. A sign on the far end of the room filled with desks, computers, and hurried people – "Child Services." A woman in a dark suit with long brown hair came over and offered water, which they turned down. She flashed a smile and returned to her desk to file more papers into a filing cabinet across from her cubicle. On the opposite desk across from her, the man that had brought them here was arguing on the phone. The arguing made Zack and Cody subconsciously nervous. Zack kicked at his dark blue duffle bag that held his clothes inside and Cody rubbed his hands on his jacket. Another person led Zack and Cody out the door. Rain clouds dropped water over them and Zack covered his and Cody's head with his own jacket. Cody carried his bag reluctantly and allowed it to drag over the concrete scraping holes into the bottom. Both he and Zack then climbed into the back seat of a dark car.

Cody kicked at his blanket on his bed and exposed his toes at the end of the coverings and curled them in the cold before returning defeated back into the covered form.

Cody silently counted the passing street lights cemented into the ground that left a golden glow over the road. Zack rested his head on Cody's shoulder in the back seat. Cody rubbed his arms in a comforting motion and let his eyes drift from the window to the inside of the car. In the front, the dashboard was littered with coffee cups, wrappers, a clock – 11:34 PM, a jacket, papers, and a pen. Cody wasn't sure where he was going but was relieved Zack was with him.

The man driving the car, Stephen, slowly parked the car outside an apartment complex and turned to look at Zack and Cody – "Wait in the car for just a little bit, okay?" Stephen got out and left Cody and Zack uncomfortably waiting in the car. Stephen opened the trunk and removed their duffle bags and set them on the curb. He then left them in the car and walked inside the apartment complex. Several minutes later he came out and explained to them that this was where they were going to stay for a little while – "This is where I leave you." Cody and Zack stepped out of the car and grabbed their bags. "Not again," Cody thought to himself and slipped his hand into his brother's unnoticed.

Cody struggled with himself in his bed as he turned over wrapping deeper into his blanket. He pushed his hands through the cracks and ran them through his hair before falling back into his sleep.

Cody curled into his jacket as Zack leaned against him and rubbed his back.

"Zack?" Cody gasped out turning to look Zack in his eyes.

"Yeah?" Zack returned.

"Zack, why'd she have to leave? I didn't do anything." Cody said, on the verge of breaking down. Cody finally had asked the question that went 11 months without being spoken.

"Cody, you didn't do anything wrong. Remember that. The problem wasn't us, it was her. She was the problem. Remember that one time she'd told us that there was nothing she enjoyed about being a mother?" Zack asked him as he slipped a hand around Cody's waist. "That was the problem."

"Yeah, now, she doesn't have to." Cody told him back, curling into him.

"Don't worry, I'm always here for you. Shut your eyes, little brother," Zack told him softly. Cody moved around on the seat until he felt comfortable. Zack sighed relief and pulled his brother closer.

Cody sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He got up and slipped into Zack's bed carefully. Cody fell asleep and wrapped his arms around Zack. Somehow, in this temporary home, nothing seemed right.