Strange and Messed up Harry Potter scenes:
Author's Note: Hey! Okay, the deal is, I was reading HP and the Goblet of Fire again and started doing strange things to the scenes. I then did the same with the other books, but those aren't done yet. So I guess these are kind of bloopers for Book 4. I also won't make things very detailed.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize as someone else's (most of it will be JK Rowling's but I have accidentally thrown some other things in).
So, this is for chapter 1, 2, and 3 of the fourth book...enjoy...or not...
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Chapter Uno
* At the Riddle House.*
Voldie: Wormtail, where's Nagini? I want to play poker!
Wormtail: My lord, she's around my neck...choking me....I can't *turns blue * breathe!
Voldie: This house brings back old memories.........so many of them.........
Wormtail: My lord, * manages to get Nagini off of his neck *did you technically ever live here? I mean, this is your father's house, and he abandoned you...
Voldie: * sniffles * Please, don't remind me of Papa!
Wormtail: How long are we going to stay here?
Voldie: A week or so. We can't do anything before the Quidditch World Cup is over.
Wormtail: * in annoying three year old whiny voice *Why not?
Voldie: Because I have tickets!
Wormtail: Will they let you in?
Voldie: * voice going strangely female and mother like * Yes, honey. Don't worry. Mama's gonna make it all better.
Wormtail: We can get there without Harry Potter's car, my lord.
Voldie: Without Harry Potter's car?!? Oh, I get it.........
Wormtail: I don't like him! I mean, so what if he is the son of one of my best friends? I'm loyal to you now!
Voldie: Really? Oh, I guess. But I have a more faithful follower at Hogwarts, so there! He's my right hand man!
Wormtail: I'm special too! I got Bertha Jorkins!
Voldie: Ah yes! I was quite pleased when you got me a person to play poker with while you were milking Nagini. And it was quite helpful when she told us about the Try Wizard Tournament while she was drunk.........
Wormtail: Why did we kill her then?
Voldie: Because all of the sudden she remembered some nonsense about you being dead! Where did she get that idea?
*Both think in silence for a minute or two *
Wormtail: Oh yeah! I had to pretend I was dead when I framed Sirius Purple!
Voldie: Oh yeah! That's right! Right after I killed James for marrying my little sister! He should have remembered how protective I was.........oh wait! Molly Weasley's my little sister, not Lily Potter. I always get those two mixed up!
Wormtail: Then why don't you seek revenge on her husband, Arthur Weasley?
Voldie: WHAT?!?! LITTLE MOLLY IS MARRIED! Oh, I don't have time. * talks to Nagini * Nagini has interesting news. You have seven galleons in your pocket! You've been holding out on me! * talks to snake again *Oh. She also says that there's a Muggle outside listening to us. Show him in.
Wormtail: * goes to door *Howdy neighbor! Come on in!
Frank Rice: Hi! How ya doin'?
Voldie: Wonderful! However, I cannot have you blabbing my secrets to anyone.
Frank Rice: What secrets? I couldn't hear anything you said. I was listening to polka music!
Voldie: Uh...oh well! Abra Cadabra!
Frank Rice: * dies *
Harry Potter: * wakes up *
Chapter two
* This is the chapter where Harry worries about his scar *
Harry Potter: * worries about scar *
Harry Potter: * worries about scar hurting *
Harry Potter: * worries about Voldie trying to kill him *
Harry Potter: *decides to actually do something about it *
Harry: *thinking* Well, Herm-own-ninny would hit me on the head with one of her heavy books so that my head would hurt so much I wouldn't notice the scar. Ronald would scream and run in circles and ask me to repeat the question.
Harry: I know! I write to my godfather, the murdering convict, Sirius Purple!
Dursleys: Shh!
Harry: Sorry! * writes letter to Sirius, read it below *
Dear Sirus,
Hey! I hope you're having fun in Brazil! Even though I'm not supposed to mention where you are in the letter, but my Brazilian pen pal told me he saw you. I wonder if you have been formally introduced...
Anyway, MY SCAR HURT! AND I HAD A NIGHTMARE! Help me, daddy! Oh wait, my dad is dead. (A/N: Harry is quite a letter writer, isn't he?) So, anyway, I'm like kind of worried, so if you could just send me lots of piranhas from Brazil, it will help me get over it. Ta-ta!
Please send money,
Harry Potter
PS: And food! Food would be good!
(A/N: Did you ever realize just how little actually happens in that chapter?)
Chapter 3
* Harry walks into kitchen and sits down to breakfast. The Dursleys wave and smile at him *
Dudley: Hi Harry!
Harry: Hello favorite cousin of mine!
Uncle Vernon: Harry! I need to talk to you, favorite nephew of mine!
Harry: Alright favorite uncle of mine!
*They go into living room*
Uncle Vernon: Now, favorite nephew of mine, I received a letter today from a lady who says you go to WIZARDING school to learn MAGIC with her son who is also a WIZARD, JUST LIKE YOU.
Harry: Yes. My best friend Ronald told me that his family was going invite me to go to the QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP if Ronald's father, who works at the MINISTRY OF MAGIC could get tickets.
Uncle Vernon: What is QUIDDITCH?
Harry: It is a sport that us WIZARDS play on FLYING BROOMSTICKS.
Uncle Vernon: Right! You WIZARDS. Anyway, she said that they wanted you to come with them to the Quidditch World Cup.
Harry: Can I go?
Uncle Vernon: No. We will miss you too much!
Harry: *stands up angrily* Let me go or I'll.or I'll.SEND MY MURDERING GODFATHER AFTER YOU!
Uncle Vernon: *trembling with fear* Yes, great one! I will let you go! Go, but be back soon! *starts to sing* You can go, but be back soon. You can go but while you're working, this place, I'm pacing round, until you're home, safe and sound.
Harry: Okay.bye.*backs away, afraid*
*Harry goes back to his room*
*A tennis ball with wings hit Harry in the head*
Harry: Hey! *throws the tennis ball out the window* And stay out!
*The tennis ball comes back*
Harry: Oh, wait! This is Ronald's owl! I remember now! He must have a letter from Ronald!
Dear Harry,
DAD GOT THE TICKETS! It's Ireland versus Bulgaria, Monday night. I think Mum sent the Dursleys a letter asking for permission. But, I decided to send LATB with my letter. By the way, the owl's name is LATB.
Now Harry, here's the deal. If your aunt and uncle say you can't go, you can't go. It's a rule. I hope they say you can, though. If not, I'm taking Neville! Then he'd be my new best friend. Or would that be Herm- own-ninny...I don't know which of them I like more. But you are privileged enough to currently be my best friend. Don't mess up.
Herm-own-ninny is already here. She is trying to choke me because I couldn't decide if I liked her or Neville better. Oh, well! She let go. Percy started work in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. We are all really interested, but Percy won't talk about it. He muttered something about cauldron bottoms and hating work. He especially hates his boss, Mr. Couch. But doesn't it sound oh so interesting? (A/N: He is NOT being sarcastic. Scary, Huh?)
Your best friend,
Ronald
PS: You are rich, idiot! Why are you asking for food and money? I need the money!
Harry: I'm going to write him a response!
Dear Ronald,
It's okay, Uncle Vernon said I could come. Though, I did have to threaten him with my murdering godfather, Sirius Purple, WHO IS CURRENTLY HIDING IN BRAZIL!
Your best friend,
Harry Potter
PS: So what if I'm rich! I want more money! So, booyah!
Harry: That looks good and friendly and not-giving-away-Sirius's-location- ish!
Harry: Which reminds me! I have to send Sirius my letter. *Ties letter to Ronald on LATB's leg and throws him out the window* I have to finish it first.
*He finished by writing*
Oh, and another thing, I'm going to be at my best friend Ronald Weasel's house for the rest of the summer. We're going to the Quidditch World Cup! And you're not! Ha ha!
*He sends his owl Hedwig off with the letter*
Harry: Hmm...should I be worried about Voldie or any other danger that is constantly threatening my life? Nah!
Fine (for now...)
Author's Note: Like? No? I'm hurt! Oh well. Please R&R! Once again, just cause you don't like it doesn't mean I won't continue it, I just won't post it unless somebody likes it. That is why I need you to read and review.
PLEASE READ THIS: Okay, one of my stories didn't really post right and the only real way to get to it is through my profile. So if you could take a moment, click on my name, and click on something that I think is called, "th Year Interrogation" and review it, I would thank you and bow down to worship you. Literally.
Author's Note: Hey! Okay, the deal is, I was reading HP and the Goblet of Fire again and started doing strange things to the scenes. I then did the same with the other books, but those aren't done yet. So I guess these are kind of bloopers for Book 4. I also won't make things very detailed.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize as someone else's (most of it will be JK Rowling's but I have accidentally thrown some other things in).
So, this is for chapter 1, 2, and 3 of the fourth book...enjoy...or not...
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Chapter Uno
* At the Riddle House.*
Voldie: Wormtail, where's Nagini? I want to play poker!
Wormtail: My lord, she's around my neck...choking me....I can't *turns blue * breathe!
Voldie: This house brings back old memories.........so many of them.........
Wormtail: My lord, * manages to get Nagini off of his neck *did you technically ever live here? I mean, this is your father's house, and he abandoned you...
Voldie: * sniffles * Please, don't remind me of Papa!
Wormtail: How long are we going to stay here?
Voldie: A week or so. We can't do anything before the Quidditch World Cup is over.
Wormtail: * in annoying three year old whiny voice *Why not?
Voldie: Because I have tickets!
Wormtail: Will they let you in?
Voldie: * voice going strangely female and mother like * Yes, honey. Don't worry. Mama's gonna make it all better.
Wormtail: We can get there without Harry Potter's car, my lord.
Voldie: Without Harry Potter's car?!? Oh, I get it.........
Wormtail: I don't like him! I mean, so what if he is the son of one of my best friends? I'm loyal to you now!
Voldie: Really? Oh, I guess. But I have a more faithful follower at Hogwarts, so there! He's my right hand man!
Wormtail: I'm special too! I got Bertha Jorkins!
Voldie: Ah yes! I was quite pleased when you got me a person to play poker with while you were milking Nagini. And it was quite helpful when she told us about the Try Wizard Tournament while she was drunk.........
Wormtail: Why did we kill her then?
Voldie: Because all of the sudden she remembered some nonsense about you being dead! Where did she get that idea?
*Both think in silence for a minute or two *
Wormtail: Oh yeah! I had to pretend I was dead when I framed Sirius Purple!
Voldie: Oh yeah! That's right! Right after I killed James for marrying my little sister! He should have remembered how protective I was.........oh wait! Molly Weasley's my little sister, not Lily Potter. I always get those two mixed up!
Wormtail: Then why don't you seek revenge on her husband, Arthur Weasley?
Voldie: WHAT?!?! LITTLE MOLLY IS MARRIED! Oh, I don't have time. * talks to Nagini * Nagini has interesting news. You have seven galleons in your pocket! You've been holding out on me! * talks to snake again *Oh. She also says that there's a Muggle outside listening to us. Show him in.
Wormtail: * goes to door *Howdy neighbor! Come on in!
Frank Rice: Hi! How ya doin'?
Voldie: Wonderful! However, I cannot have you blabbing my secrets to anyone.
Frank Rice: What secrets? I couldn't hear anything you said. I was listening to polka music!
Voldie: Uh...oh well! Abra Cadabra!
Frank Rice: * dies *
Harry Potter: * wakes up *
Chapter two
* This is the chapter where Harry worries about his scar *
Harry Potter: * worries about scar *
Harry Potter: * worries about scar hurting *
Harry Potter: * worries about Voldie trying to kill him *
Harry Potter: *decides to actually do something about it *
Harry: *thinking* Well, Herm-own-ninny would hit me on the head with one of her heavy books so that my head would hurt so much I wouldn't notice the scar. Ronald would scream and run in circles and ask me to repeat the question.
Harry: I know! I write to my godfather, the murdering convict, Sirius Purple!
Dursleys: Shh!
Harry: Sorry! * writes letter to Sirius, read it below *
Dear Sirus,
Hey! I hope you're having fun in Brazil! Even though I'm not supposed to mention where you are in the letter, but my Brazilian pen pal told me he saw you. I wonder if you have been formally introduced...
Anyway, MY SCAR HURT! AND I HAD A NIGHTMARE! Help me, daddy! Oh wait, my dad is dead. (A/N: Harry is quite a letter writer, isn't he?) So, anyway, I'm like kind of worried, so if you could just send me lots of piranhas from Brazil, it will help me get over it. Ta-ta!
Please send money,
Harry Potter
PS: And food! Food would be good!
(A/N: Did you ever realize just how little actually happens in that chapter?)
Chapter 3
* Harry walks into kitchen and sits down to breakfast. The Dursleys wave and smile at him *
Dudley: Hi Harry!
Harry: Hello favorite cousin of mine!
Uncle Vernon: Harry! I need to talk to you, favorite nephew of mine!
Harry: Alright favorite uncle of mine!
*They go into living room*
Uncle Vernon: Now, favorite nephew of mine, I received a letter today from a lady who says you go to WIZARDING school to learn MAGIC with her son who is also a WIZARD, JUST LIKE YOU.
Harry: Yes. My best friend Ronald told me that his family was going invite me to go to the QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP if Ronald's father, who works at the MINISTRY OF MAGIC could get tickets.
Uncle Vernon: What is QUIDDITCH?
Harry: It is a sport that us WIZARDS play on FLYING BROOMSTICKS.
Uncle Vernon: Right! You WIZARDS. Anyway, she said that they wanted you to come with them to the Quidditch World Cup.
Harry: Can I go?
Uncle Vernon: No. We will miss you too much!
Harry: *stands up angrily* Let me go or I'll.or I'll.SEND MY MURDERING GODFATHER AFTER YOU!
Uncle Vernon: *trembling with fear* Yes, great one! I will let you go! Go, but be back soon! *starts to sing* You can go, but be back soon. You can go but while you're working, this place, I'm pacing round, until you're home, safe and sound.
Harry: Okay.bye.*backs away, afraid*
*Harry goes back to his room*
*A tennis ball with wings hit Harry in the head*
Harry: Hey! *throws the tennis ball out the window* And stay out!
*The tennis ball comes back*
Harry: Oh, wait! This is Ronald's owl! I remember now! He must have a letter from Ronald!
Dear Harry,
DAD GOT THE TICKETS! It's Ireland versus Bulgaria, Monday night. I think Mum sent the Dursleys a letter asking for permission. But, I decided to send LATB with my letter. By the way, the owl's name is LATB.
Now Harry, here's the deal. If your aunt and uncle say you can't go, you can't go. It's a rule. I hope they say you can, though. If not, I'm taking Neville! Then he'd be my new best friend. Or would that be Herm- own-ninny...I don't know which of them I like more. But you are privileged enough to currently be my best friend. Don't mess up.
Herm-own-ninny is already here. She is trying to choke me because I couldn't decide if I liked her or Neville better. Oh, well! She let go. Percy started work in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. We are all really interested, but Percy won't talk about it. He muttered something about cauldron bottoms and hating work. He especially hates his boss, Mr. Couch. But doesn't it sound oh so interesting? (A/N: He is NOT being sarcastic. Scary, Huh?)
Your best friend,
Ronald
PS: You are rich, idiot! Why are you asking for food and money? I need the money!
Harry: I'm going to write him a response!
Dear Ronald,
It's okay, Uncle Vernon said I could come. Though, I did have to threaten him with my murdering godfather, Sirius Purple, WHO IS CURRENTLY HIDING IN BRAZIL!
Your best friend,
Harry Potter
PS: So what if I'm rich! I want more money! So, booyah!
Harry: That looks good and friendly and not-giving-away-Sirius's-location- ish!
Harry: Which reminds me! I have to send Sirius my letter. *Ties letter to Ronald on LATB's leg and throws him out the window* I have to finish it first.
*He finished by writing*
Oh, and another thing, I'm going to be at my best friend Ronald Weasel's house for the rest of the summer. We're going to the Quidditch World Cup! And you're not! Ha ha!
*He sends his owl Hedwig off with the letter*
Harry: Hmm...should I be worried about Voldie or any other danger that is constantly threatening my life? Nah!
Fine (for now...)
Author's Note: Like? No? I'm hurt! Oh well. Please R&R! Once again, just cause you don't like it doesn't mean I won't continue it, I just won't post it unless somebody likes it. That is why I need you to read and review.
PLEASE READ THIS: Okay, one of my stories didn't really post right and the only real way to get to it is through my profile. So if you could take a moment, click on my name, and click on something that I think is called, "th Year Interrogation" and review it, I would thank you and bow down to worship you. Literally.