Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem.

After The War

The war was over, Ashera was gone, and peace was flourishing across the land. Everyone was happy, except for our favorite hero, Ike. Fighting was his life, and now there was no fighting as most of the criminals across Tellius had either been wiped out or had been so petrified that they were too afraid to even go near a weapon again. Therefore, there was nothing much for Ike to do. Also, Elincia, Aimee, and a host of other females were trying to trap him in marriage, which was driving him crazy. So Ike decided to go and explore new lands.

"Don't be stupid," Titania told him. "There's nothing there."

But our Ike could not be deterred from his decision. And so, despite the protests of his friends and family and legions of ardent admirers (with Elincia and Aimee at their head) he set out to explore new lands and find adventure. Soren, of course, followed him, because Soren had no life outside of Ike. Ranulf also followed him, he said it was because of the spirit of adventure, but it was really because Skirmir was driving him up the wall.

And so, on one fine sunny day, our three heroes set off on their latest adventure. Since no sailors would go with them on, they took a ship and set off by themselves.

At first, things went fine. Ike enjoyed looking at the sea, Soren enjoyed looking at Ike, and Ranulf was seasick. However, they went further, things became boring. Ike got tired of staring at the sea. It was blue and monotonous and, contrary to all myths and legends, no giant serpents or monsters came out to fight them. Ranulf remembered that he was a cat and therefore hated water. Only Soren still enjoyed watching Ike.

Also, as land disappeared, they hit another snag. None of them knew how to navigate a ship.

Navigation on land was easy. There were landmarks and stuff which you could follow. But at sea, you were literally at sea. All around them the sea stretched on, and it didn't help that Ranulf dropped their map and compass overboard on day by accident. The wind blew them forward, backward, this way and that, and they couldn't do anything except try to figure out where they were.

Ike, of course, was confident that they were heading in the right direction. Ranulf asked him what the right direction actually was. Soren told him to shut up.

Then came the storms. Huge storms, knocking them about, leaving them even lost and confused.

After nearly two months of this, one day, Ike, spotted land.

"Look, guys, land!" he yelled.

"WHERE? WHERE?" Ranulf yelled, looking about wild eyed.

"There," Ike shouted," pointing east.

Ranulf ran to the east. "Oh, oh, land!" he cried happily. "Blessed, blessed land."

"Um, guys," Soren called, looking west, "I have bad news."

"Shut up!" Ranulf told him.

"What?" Ike asked, coming down.

"There's a storm coming from the opposite direction," Soren answered.

Ike and Ranulf grew pale and wide eyed.

"Nonononono…" Ranulf said.

"One more," Ike said, grim and heroic. "We must bear it."

"Ike, our ship is battered. I don't think it can take it," Soren answered. "According to my calculations, there is an 85% probability that the ship will break."

"Do we have any other options?" Ike asked.

"No."

"Then hang on!"

"I want to go HOME!" Ranulf cried, collapsing on the deck.

"There is currently a 0.0001% probability of that," Soren informed him.
And so the storm came. Ike stood on deck, trying to look grim and heroic as wave over wave washed over him. Soren clung to Ike's cape with one hand and the mast to another. Ranulf clung to the mast, vowing to himself that if he ever got back home in one piece, he would never go near water again.

Then the ship broke. The three heroes were thrown into the sea, and were tossed about by the waves. All three of them swallowed a large amount of sea-water, and lost consciousness.

When they regained consciousness they were on dry land.

"Where are we?" Soren asked.

"A new continent," Ike said, his eyes gleaming. "Full of strange and unexplored possibilities."

"Who care!" Ranulf exclaimed gleefully. "We're on land! Land! L-A-N-D!" With that he began to kiss the ground.

"Ike? Ranulf?" The voice made them jump. All three of them turned to see… Lethe, standing a little way off, looking puzzled.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked. "I thought you'd left."

"Lethe!" Ranulf ran to Lethe and hugged her. "Lethe! Lethe Lethe Lethe! Am I glad to see you! But wait, what are you doing here!" he jumped back, looking dismayed. "Am I having a vision?"

"No," said Lethe. "Don't be stupid."

"Then where are we?" Ike asked.

"Gallia," said Lethe.

"Wha- wait, how? How did we end up in Gallia?" Ike asked.

"Hmm," Soren said. "I'm guessing that once we lost sight of land, we may have navigated the coastline, from Crimea to Gallia."

"So wait… we-we were never far away from Tellius at all?" Ranulf asked.

"I guess not," Lethe said, sniggering.

Ike and Ranulf let out a howl.

"I cannot believe I wasted this whole time on some stupid boat trip! I don't even like water!" Ranulf howled.

"I can't believe I failed! I never fail!" Ike exclaimed.

"…" Soren said, not caring either way, as long as he was with Ike.

"There's only one thing that we can do," Ike said. "We must get another ship and go back.

"WHAAT?" Ranulf screeched.

"Ike…" Soren began, not exactly wanting to go back to sea.

"No buts," Ike said, cutting them off. He got up and started walking away. "We must continue our quest. We can't give up!"

"Noooo!" With a wild battle cry, Ranulf leapt at Ike, and hit him on the head with a random stick. There was a 'thunk' as Ike went down.

"NOOOOOO! IKEEE!" Soren glared at Ranulf, his eyes red (well, redder than they were before). "You killed him!" With that, he jumped on Ranulf and started beating him up.

"…" Lethe watched, not sure what was going on.

After a while, Ike stirred. Soren stopped trying to kill Ranulf, and rushed to him.

"Ike! Are you okay? Answer me!" he exclaimed, shaking Ike by the shoulders.

Ike blinked at him. "Huh? Who are you? Who am I?" he asked.

Soren, Lethe and Ranulf stared. "I think he's lost his mind," Lethe said.

"Don't be stupid; he's only lost his memory," Ranulf said.

"What? No, he can't!" Soren exclaimed.

"Yes he can, he did," Ranulf pointed out.

"Now what do we do?" Lethe asked. "Do we take him back to Gallia?"

"We can't do that," Soren said. "Do you realize how damaging it will be to his reputation? Ike, the great hero, who couldn't even sail a ship, crashed back to the land he started from, and lost his memory from a tiny little hit on the head?"

"Um, I guess it will be bad?" Ranulf asked.

"Of course!" Soren said. He thought: 'Plus, if we take him back, other people will want to take care of him, they'll want to take him away from ME! I can't have that!'

"So what?" Lethe asked.

"Hmm…" Soren thought. Finally he said: "I know! I'll take him somewhere quiet, and nurse him back to health!"

After much debating, Soren decided to take Ike to the Grann Desert, where they lived in the branded colony with Stefan and his friends, away from the rest of Tellius. Eventually Ike got his memory back, but by that time Ike was so set in his new life that he decided to spend the rest of his life there.

Ranulf and Lethe went to Gallia, and told everyone that Ranulf had returned because he was home-sick. Last seen, he said, Ike had been physically fine (no one mentioned his mental… problems). Ranulf married Lethe, and spent the rest of his life in the forest far from the sea. He never went near water again, not even to take baths (much to Lethe's dismay).

And so, they all lived happily ever after.

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