It'd been 10 years since that day. 10 years without his best friend. Tommy Merlyn. Simply uttering the name Tommy Merlyn caused him to choke up with grief, with unsaid emotions. The thing he most couldn't stand was who had caused his death. Tommy's own father, and no justice had been served. Sure, Malcolm acted like he was grieving, but he didn't really care. When his child was alive he only ever belittled him, made him hate himself so much that he considered Oliver his only family. Oliver still had nightmares every night. In his dream, he would wake up in his house and no one was there. He would run outside, and see a burning, shaking building. He would scream and run inside, seeing tommy on the ground, impaled, and watch his friend die. He had these dreams every night and they never stopped because they weren't dreams, they had actually happened and there was nothing Oliver could do about it. His best friend was gone. In the day after the accident, he was completely numb. He refused to admit that Tommy was really dead. They'd had their problems but he had really loved Tommy, and knew Tommy loved him. He remembered when he first came back from the island, and how happy Tommy was to see him alive, forever glad his best wasn't actually dead with no body to bury. He'd taken Tommy's trust and crushed it into fine dust in his hands, leading Tommy to almost abandon him, only for them to be reunited in his last moments. When Tommy had died, Oliver had shut himself away, not wanting to even see Thea or Moira, for none of them could give him his heart's desire, Tommy being alive again. Laurel had fallen into drug addiction and alcoholism to deal with the loss, and decided it was best if they didn't see each other anymore. Then Tommy's memorial happened and Oliver actually had to face the fact that his friend was dead. There was no more pretending that he had simply moved out of Starling City, no more pretending he would see him again. Now, 10 long years later, Oliver could say he'd at least healed from the loss. His heart still ached, but he could breathe again. The nightmares were horrible, but he could manage them. He could get out of bed in the morning, knowing he wouldn't see Tommy except at the graveyard.
The graveyard. By far the most loved in the cemetery, Tommy's grave had a constant barrage of flowers on top of it from people showing their love to the long dead man. His stone was on top of a green patch of grass with a tree growing over it, at the very top of the cemetery, next to the Merlyn family plot. Oliver had known his friend wouldn't want to be buried next to the family that had abandoned him. Oliver found himself sitting next to Tommy on the anniversary, drinking a bottle of wine. Thea said it wasn't healthy, that he needed to forget Tommy, but that was impossible. She said Tommy was the past and needed to stay in it, but Oliver couldn't abandon him, not after Tommy had waited for him to come back when he was on the island. Not a single day passed that Tommy wasn't taking up Oliver's thoughts. Even when he was on dates with Felicity, or fighting some bad guys-maybe even Tommy's own father- Oliver was unable to keep his friend far away. It was why he sat alone in the graveyard. Laurel couldn't bring herself to come, still feeling too guilty for his death. When it started to become dark, Oliver packed up his win bottle and left the cemetery, wishing he could stay with Tommy forever, because the truth was that no matter how good his life got, he was missing something.
When Oliver's wedding to Felicity approached, his whole being filled with sadness and dread at the prospect of having to choose a best man. He was supposed to be able to choose Tommy, he wasn't supposed to be still grieving 10 years later. He could barely bring himself to give away Tommy's position, hell, he'd even been almost unable to hire another person for Tommy's vacant job at the club. Every time he filled up a space Tommy had occupied, he felt he had betrayed him, and the nightmares
became more frequent. Ironically, that was the best part of everything. Sometimes Oliver would go to sleep early because that's where Tommy was. Even though the nightmares were bad, he was still able to see Tommy and speak to him. Tommy only remained in his dreams, and that's where Oliver retreated when he needed him. Truly, most of the time he was happy and could say he'd healed from the loss, but on days like the anniversary, he was unable to forget. Oliver sighed, pouring out the rest of the bottle on Tommy's grave, and standing up.
"I hope the flavor isn't too dry for you buddy. I miss you so much". Knowing in his heart that this was his last time costing the cemetery for Tommy, Oliver knelt down and placed a kiss on Tommy's headstone. He walked away slowly, wishing he would turn back and see his friend standing there, but knowing there was no hope to be had.