title: Glancing Back

author: Melpomene

email: AU

summary: "Sometimes it's good to remember."

author's note: Appologies for characterizations being off-kilter.

Glancing Back

"Doctor?" Rose tried to pull him from his reverie but had to concede defeat when he did not respond or even acknowledge that she had spoken.

She had thought it odd when they stepped out of the TARDIS and into a quiet suburb of 1980's London but she had accepted his explanation of it being nothing but a lark. She had believed him for almost a full hour before she was forced to push aside her naivety and admit he was not being completely honest with her. His lark had purpose. Definite purpose.

He was searching for something, or perhaps someone. She had followed as he led her through the streets. He would pause here and there, seeming to take note of his location and the relative time, then he would be off again peering into shops and watching the faces of the people they passed.

Rose had been surprised when his feet turned into a cafe just as dusk began to stain the horizon. She had watched him scan the faces of those inside, duck back out to double check the name of the place, then return to her side at a small round table. A tenseness seemed to slough off his shoulders at the appearance of the waitress. Rose sat in curious silence.

"What d'ya want?"

And the Doctor had remained stone cold silent. At least it was not just her he was ignoring. Rose watched the Doctor who watched the waitress who watched her order pad with undisguised boredom in her expression.

"Doctor?" Rose tried again to draw his attention but he seemed to be frozen in thought. Taking the situation into her own hands, she glanced up at the waitress and smiled. "Give us a mo', won't you?"

The young woman shrugged and stalked off toward the rear of the shop.

Rose took the opportunity to study the girl who had caused such a strange reaction in her companion. She could have been any one of the girls Rose had known from school. Dark hair messily pulled back from her face, a terse mouth and eyes that carried a trace of anger that was held relatively firmly in check. Anger at what, Rose wondered. The world in general? Or was there an actual focal point for her ire? The girl was no raving beauty – she was pretty in a far more interesting way. And despite the anger, there was something about her that drew the eye and would not let go.

Rose pondered on about the girl until she returned.

"Know what ya want yet?"

The Doctor surprised Rose by answering. "Bacon sandwich and a cup of coffee."

The girl nodded vaguely and scribbled something on her notepad. "Right-o, Professor. And you?"

It was Rose's turn to become preoccupied. All color had leeched from the Doctor's face at the girl's words. Rose replayed the last few minutes in her head but could identify nothing that should have garnered such disturbance.

"Nothing for me," she managed at last. She waited until the girl had gone to address the Doctor. "So what's this all about? I know it isn't a lark, no matter what you say."

His eyes followed the waitress. That ever-present grin and glint were buried beneath a depth of emotion Rose was unaccustomed to encountering in him.

"Sometimes it's good to remember."

"Being cryptic now, eh?" Rose tapped her fingertips against the tabletop while the waitress returned with the Doctor's order.

"Just because something ends poorly doesn't mean it wasn't worth the experience."

Rose shook her head. She had no idea how to deal with this strange new Doctor who sat with her. "Who is she? How do you know her? When do you know her? Where?" Obviously this little side trip was intended to deal exclusively with their rather disgruntled waitress.

"She's the past but she hasn't been there yet." He sipped at his tea. "She will be soon."

"You're not making any sense, you know." She reached across and tore off a bit of the crust from his sandwich. "So why did we come?"

For the first time since they had stepped off the TARDIS, he looked at her. She was a bit taken aback by what confronted her in those eyes. "Her name's Ace, a fitting nickname. Tonight after the shop closes, she'll walk home and begin work on a chemistry experiment that will open up a time storm in her bedroom. Then she'll fall in." He looked back at the girl who lounged against the lunch counter. "She'll wind up on an ice planet working in a place quite like this one." He snickered softly.

"Bum rap," Rose commented with interest.

"Then she'll meet a curly red-head by the name of Mel who will encourage Ace to leave the ice planet and explore the universe in a clunky old police call box with somewhat faulty directional abilities. She's very explosive, Ace is. Fancies homemade Nitro-9 bombs. I think there's still quite a supply of it in her old room. Should probably clear it out before it causes problems."

"You're nostalgic today," Rose mused aloud.

A fleeting smile flickered across his face. "She stayed with me for a long time. I showed her a universe of possibilities and then I destroyed her."

Rose tried to catch his eye again but the Doctor had gone back to watching the girl. "Not on purpose, you didn't."

"Ah, yes. It was wholly intentional. It was also wholly required for our survival at the time. Nonetheless, things were strained thereafter... and then she was gone. Should have dropped her back in Perivale as soon as I knew."

"You can't blame yourself, Doctor. Things happen."

He chuckled mirthlessly. "All the others can be written off as the consequences of adventurers' lives but Ace was different. She was sent to me by an enemy. There was another... Turlough was, well, he was different too. However, Turlough knew he was a pawn. Ace had no inkling. She was innocent."

"You sure about that?" Rose watched a small ruckus that had begun between the waitress and a customer. The glower on the girl's face could easily stop a Dalek it its tracks, Rose had no doubt.

He smiled indulgently. "Yes, she was innocent. And she didn't have a mother who made me promise no harm would come to her." He caught Rose's eye again. "She would have argued that she didn't need protecting, but then so would you."

"I'd be right." Rose let her gaze follow their waitress as she stormed out the door. "I bet she would have been too."

The Doctor kept his silence but a glimmer of cheer flickered through his eyes. Rose smiled and shook her head. She reached over to snag his coffee cup and watched him over the rim.

"Shall we be going then?" He rose and dropped a fistful of coins on the table. "Fancy an adventure, Rose?"

fini