Captain Teemo was reporting for duty when Kamina slipped out of his underwear and into Simon's eager, bubbling rectum. Sam Fisher was hiding in a brown tree. The tree was brown because it was brown. Sam Fisher was drinking Smirnoff Ice Tropical Fruit, but then he remembered he's allergic. He discarded it before his throat could close up. He would need his throat for certain events that may or may not take place further in this tale.
The roof above Sam's head was thatched, but he didn't seem to mind (or care). He needed to put on his binoculars to see the commotion between Kamina and Simon. Sadly, the binoculars weren't enough. He opted to equip his night vision goggles instead.
What he saw, then, was glorious. Jesus Christ was kickboxing with Kamina, whom was putting up a valiant fight against the son of Buddha.
Yoko came in and died.
My teacher was eating an apple. Or was it an asshole? I can't recall; they both rhyme, so don't get mad at me for being unable to remember such a crude thing. There is a poster on my wall that is not straight. It is homosexual, as a matter of fact.
Sam Fisher was dining in the dining hall with Jesus, Kamina, Simon, and ham. Ham was their dinner. Ham was actually a man, but the others were cannibalistic so it's okay. They're good at eating people, so whatevs.
One fine Easter sunday, Jesus was praying. Kamina was praying next to him, with his rootin' tootin' sidekick, Super Saiyan Sephiroth Death Knight. Reapers.
Super Saiyan Sephiroth's weapon of choice is a rubber swordfish. He has no need for a real weapon - a rubber swordfish will do.
Super Saiyan Sephiroth sniped Sam Fisher in the brown tree he was hiding in, but it was a no-scope (TM). Little did Sam Fisher know that Super Saiyan Sephiroth was sitting next to him on the same tree branch. Sam Fisher and SSJSeph, sittin' in a tree - K.I.S.S.I.N.H.
Smirnoff is pretty good.
But back to the story at hand, before I deviate any further, I am hilariously drunk. But that has nothing to do with the story at hand.
Back to the story at hand, before I deviate any further, Super Saiyan Sam Fisher was now his own being; his own automobile. He drove into Super Saiyan Salami and then, before they got into an epic battle, the Reapers attacked.
Sam Shepard helped them, everybody, and their kids, save the Reapers. "I'm gonna sodomize it!" yelled Sodomize-It Ralph, as he did the dishes. Sam Disher was dishing out some dishasterous pundishment on Super Saiyan Dish, who was not pleased in the slightest.
"I will attack you now!" claimed Super Saiyan Volkswagon as she showered Jesus Christ with her impeccable cleavage.
"Alright!" clamored Mr. Christ as he took a potato chip and scooped her cleavage, which was now filled to the brim with cheese fondue.
Sam Fisher, Sam Disher, Super Saiyaiyain Sephiroth, Super Saiyan Salami, and Nidalee died. No-one knows how it happened; it just did. And you will keep that a secret, right? Dear readers?
Huh.