So... Hello :D I'm back in England. WIN.
I wrote this whilst Jet-lagged. PickettFence told me how to make actually have some continuity.
My tenses were everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
This is a Songfic to Viva La Vida by Coldplay
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, to my eternal regret, nor do I own Coldplay, which I regret somewhat less.
I looked down at the grave. It looked just the same as the day, one year ago, when we had lowered L's coffin into the grave. The headstone was a little dirtier now, more worn. Lichen grew along the top.
It still seemed strange, even a year later, waking up to an empty bed, flexing my arms, and not hearing the sound of the chain. I ruled the world. That should have given me some consolation. But it didn't. I might as well have been sweeping the streets. I'd have been happier then, I think.
I used to be in charge, it used to be a game. But the fear in L's eyes was real, when he looked up at me that day on the stairs. I think he had known that he was going to die. A year ago, L died. Long live Kira.
I had the Death Note, the key to a new world. Or so I thought. But somehow, it felt, once L was gone, like all those doors had closed, as if I had crossed some line and there was no turning back. Everything I had had been built on lies and false promises and fake smiles. On pillars of salt and sand. The only man who had seen through them was dead. .
Somewhere in the distance, I heard bells ring. Like L had on his last day. Too much to hope that I would die today. The sounds of a choir came, drifting through the stillness of the muggy air. I pulled a small mirror from my pocket, checked my hair. My appearance was my greatest weapon, and my greatest defence.
I couldn't explain it, but once L was dead, there were more lies. I couldn't recall when I'd last spoken an honest word. There was no need for lies now. My greatest rival, my greatest friend, was dead.
L had been my friend. He saw through me, like no one else ever has, or ever will. It was as if some great wind blew down all my doors and walls and let him waltz right on in. the first time I saw him my heart began to pound like a drum, blood in my ears was like the shattering of windows. I had been Kira then. I had been a god. But soon people lost trust me. It had begun when I had killed the FBI agents. People simply couldn't believe what I'd become.
Somewhere I supposed revolutionaries waited for my head on a silver plate. I might have been seen as god, but I was just a puppet. Ryuk's puppet, on my lonely string, only living to amuse him. Why did I ever want to rule the world?
The bells still rang. The choir sang. I examined the mirror, and the way the light reflected off of it, forming a little ring around the words on the stone. Idly, I wondered how Misa was, my missionary to the people, who made Kira seem like something greater, something for the powerful and for the famous.
I would not go to heaven, or to hell. Saint Peter would never call my name. If only for the lies, I would never deserve it. But that was when I ruled the world. Now I rule as Kira, sometimes against my better judgement.
I turned to walk away. The bells still rang. The choirs sang. I toyed with the mirror, my sword and shield. Misa, my missionary to the people, would be waiting for me when I got home. I could still manipulate people, but they were foreign to me now. I no longer felt like one of them. That was why I needed Misa Amane. It wasn't to remind myself of who I was supposed to be, the model student, the perfect son, the loving boyfriend. I knew that all too well, didn't I?
No, Saint Peter would not call my name. Since I lost L, I have done nothing but lie. That was when I ruled the world. When I was too naïve to know how I felt about the man.
L was dead. Long live Light Yagami. I am L now, I am Kira. I am good and evil. I am Justice. I missed him, and one day when I could I would cry for him and I would mourn for him. But that day in the graveyard was the wrong time, a year had not quite let the shock sink in. The lies would have to continue for a little longer. I would have to remain in control. If anybody ever knew that I loved that man then I would have to accept it. And I will never be quite ready for that.