Pairing: Yuuri/Wolfram and Yuuri/Murata.
Genre: Slightly AU, Romance, Angst.
Warning: This contains non-explicit sexual content.
This was betaed by HARPG0 and as always, all mistakes are mine.
There was so much Yuuri still didn't know about this world. For instance, nobody had told him about a particular quirk of fire elemental users until he'd married one, or the consequences of Murata's choice to stay by his side as his wise advisor. And nobody had told him that love and sex didn't always go together. This he had to work out for himself.
Yuuri had no idea about "the pledge" until he'd found the thick book open on his work desk.
"A Brief History of Shin Makoku - Volume Sixteen."
Yuuri had used the series a couple of times. It was basic, had a fairly straightforward index, easy for him to use, and the closest thing that he could find to Wikipedia in a world without the Internet. But there were twenty volumes and there was still a lot he didn't know.
He looked again at the heading "The Pledge Between Queen Anissina the Second and the Great Sage."
He learnt two things that day, following the references in the brief article in other books. One, that the Great Sage was bound to Shinou in a spiritual marriage and was celibate. And through a complicated series of weird loopholes (This was Shin Makoku after all. Why should he be surprised?) having sex with a reigning Demon King did not count as breaking celibacy, if it was done under pledge, some sort of agreement which was like marriage, but not.
He stared at the page for a while and thought of Wolfram.
Crap.
It took him two more weeks to confront Murata. It wasn't because he didn't have an opportunity. He practically saw his friend every day. But Yuuri was a big coward and he wasn't sure how to bring it up. Or what to say.
"I saw the book. But you know I'm married, right...? I couldn't. Sorry."
He had burst this out in the middle of a discussion on the financial gift that the king was providing to the wine festival in Karbelnikoff. Lord von Christ was supposed to be in this meeting...and Wolfram, too. But both had been called to other urgent matters and, well, the wine festival wasn't exactly critical.
Murata cocked his head and rested his chin on his clasped hands thoughtfully, his elbows on the desk. There was a long pause, then.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Shibuya."
"The book...the pledge...you know I'm married to Wolfram, and it sucks for you, with the celibacy… and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Yuuri said faintly as Murata continued to look at him with a faint mixture of amusement and puzzlement. Of course not, that's what Murata had just said.
And, if he had really thought about it, it wasn't Murata's style. Murata was usually much more direct when he wanted things, or so subtly manipulative that Yuuri would have thought it was his idea right from the beginning. Yes, he had noticed Murata's skill in that regard. Though only with others and not always straight away.
"No, but I'm looking forward to you telling me."
Yuuri dipped his head in embarrassment.
"I never knew you were celibate." That was not really an explanation or an answer but it was one of the biggest things he was curious about.
Murata sat back on his chair and gave him a faintly annoyed look. It turned out Yuuri was still incapable of thinking before opening his mouth. "Well, it's not by choice, Shibuya."
Murata didn't look that thrilled as he said it.
There was so much he still didn't know about this world. For instance, nobody had told him about a particular quirk of fire elemental users until he'd married one. It was something he would have liked to have known, to save him a lifetime's worth of awkwardness and mortification on their marriage night...not to mention...but there was no point in dwelling. He loved Wolfram. It was simple as that.
"You flirt with everyone. And you were married in your last lives. You've said," Yuuri pointed out.
"Flirting isn't sex and in those lives, I wasn't the Great Sage. And, I'm still waiting for you to explain about this book." Murata crossed his arms and gave him a flat look. There was no amusement in his eyes.
Yuuri sighed. "Somebody left a book, a volume of the brief histories. It was open on my work desk on the page about the pledge between Queen Anissina and the Great Sage. So it led me to more reading and I thought..." Yuuri trailed off uncertainly.
"You thought that was my way of propositioning you?"
"Umm, yeah. Sorry. You've never had sex...ever?" Yuuri asked faintly.
They were both twenty-one. Murata had flirted heavily at school and he had at least two girlfriends and a boyfriend that Yuuri could remember. He couldn't believe it. Not that Yuuri could talk. His experience thus far was nothing to brag about.
Murata started packing up the books to leave, not bothering to answer him. "Shibuya, I know you wouldn't be interested and I do not pursue things that are not possible."
Ah.
So who had left the book on his desk?
He was pondering that as he held Wolfram that night. Wolfram had just extinguished the candles and was awake next to him. He kissed Wolfram's brow absently and raised his hand to play with the silky golden hair. Wolfram loved to be touched and kissed, sometimes couldn't get enough of it. It was something Yuuri was grateful for. He kissed Wolfram again enjoying the warmth.
"Would you like me to satisfy you?" Wolfram asked. It was said politely enough, but there was an underlying reluctance there. Yuuri doubted Wolfram even realised it. His husband was really bad at hiding his feelings.
Yuuri closed his eyes. "No, it's okay."
"I can...with my mouth. I know you like that."
Please, Wolfram. Can we not.
"No. I'm fine."
There was a pause and Wolfram moved away slightly. "Yuuri, you haven't asked for a long time. Do I not please you?"
"You please me. You please me lots."
"But I do not mind. It is my duty."
Yuuri sat up and leaned against the ornately engraved headboard. They'd had this discussion a few times and he'd ended up convincing Wolfram he was fine, only to have to do it again a few months later. The problem was...sometimes, Yuuri wasn't fine and he was starting to get tired of it.
"I don't want you to do stuff because it's your duty; you know that. Only if you want to."
"But I do want-"
"Wolf, no you don't," he growled that out in frustration and Wolfram flinched. Yuuri hated himself. He hated this.
There was another extended silence. He hated it when Wolfram was being so apologetic. Yuuri wanted the Wolfram who was animated and passionate. He loved that Wolfram. He loved the Wolf whom he could touch and would melt into him when Yuuri stroked him. Who enjoyed long languorous kisses, petting, and having his shoulder length hair brushed. Yuuri loved that.
For Wolfram wasn't interested in sex. Had never been and would never be. Yuuri had read everything he could on the subject after that first night. Wolfram was a fire elemental and his passion was what fed his power, was consumed entirely by it until there was nothing left over. Wolfram's power was what he lived for. And, literally, what kept him alive.
It didn't mean they couldn't have sex. As Wolfram explained to him, some fire elements were quite happy to satisfy their partners sexually and enjoyed the intimacy even without having an orgasm. But the thing was, Yuuri knew that Wolfram wasn't one of them.
Wolfram was just as fastidious with cleanliness in the bedroom as he was elsewhere. In fact, more so, and without knowing or understanding the fuss about sexual lust or the need for orgasms, he wasn't personally motivated to bother with all the messiness of sex.
Yuuri could kinda see Wolfram's view. Without this desperate heat and desire, he didn't think he'd want to do any of the sex stuff, either. It was the intense sensation and lust that made it so very good. Without that drive, some of it, most of it, was just sweaty and messy, involving fluids and other...things.
Wolfram would give sexual favours to make Yuuri happy but he wasn't happy for himself. And no matter how...horny he'd get, and, sometimes Yuuri did, Shinou help him, Yuuri wasn't that desperate to get off with Wolfram being miserable underneath him. Biting his lips and trying, and failing, to look and act interested. The times they had, the last being a few months ago, well, Yuuri didn't want to do that again.
Masturbating was almost as bad. It made Wolfram feel like he was failing his 'duty' and Yuuri was forced to do it guiltily when he was away from Wolfram and it wasn't fun at all.
"I do not want you to look for comfort elsewhere or for you to seek a divorce," Wolfram said in a small voice and Yuuri was grateful for the darkness. "I love you," Wolfram said miserably.
He reached out and pulled Wolfram into his arms. "I love you, too. I don't want to divorce you and I don't want to have an affair," Yuuri said sadly.
And he didn't. He wouldn't.
"But I want you to be happy, Yuuri. I know you have desires."
Yuuri didn't know what to say. So, he kept silent and, after a while, Wolfram buried his head in Yuuri's arms. He let the smell of Wolfram's hair calm him.
"Yuuri..."
"Hmm?" He was starting to drift off but he opened his eyes at the fretful note in Wolfram's voice.
"Did you..." A sigh. "It's nothing."
It was probably that conversation which motivated Wolfram to talk to him a few days later. But, this time, Wolfram was back to being his bossy self.
"I think you should seek pledge with the Great Sage."
What?
"Umm...what?"
"You and the Great Sage."
What?
And suddenly it clicked. "You left the book on my desk?"
Wolfram rolled his eyes at him. They were having a private breakfast and Yuuri had been about to shove some eggs into his mouth when Wolfram had made this announcement.
"I was hoping that you would take the initiative," Wolfram said in an annoyed voice.
"But you don't want me to have an affair...or divorce." Yuuri was starting to feel angry and hurt.
"Did you bother to do research into it?"
"Somewhat." Well he hadn't gone too far into it.
Wolfram sighed.
"A pledge would not end our marriage. The Great Sage is married to Shinou and that wouldn't change and it is honourable. Nothing like an affair." The way Wolfram said the last word and his expression was as if he'd bitten into something rotten. "It can only be entered into with my signature."
"Signature?" He would have to work on sentences sometime.
"My agreement, Yuuri. A married monarch can only enter pledge with the agreement of the consort."
Okay. Maybe he was still waking up because this still wasn't making much sense.
"You want me to have sex with Murata?"
Well, that is what it boiled down to.
"It's more than that. It's also a binding political alliance." Wolfram pulled a book from a shelf behind them and gave it to him. "Read this so you don't look like an idiot and then go speak to His Eminence about it.
"But, Wolf..." There was a cold lump of anxiety in his stomach and he wasn't sure what to say. Some of the uncertainty must have shown because Wolfram sighed and kissed him lightly on the brow, fingers stroking the inside of his wrist softly in the way which always calmed him when he was upset or worried.
"Would you have me give up horse riding...or wielding fire?" Wolfram said after a moment.
Of course not. It was then that he recalled a conversation he'd had with Wolfram a week after they were married. Wolfram had asked him what it was like to have an orgasm.
"It's like flying or being on a rollercoaster going down." Wolfram had given him a confused look. "Err, like riding a horse. You know when you gallop down a hill? It's like every part of me is alive and the blood rushes through the body and it feels so good." Wolfram had had his forehead furrowed with a frown. Yuuri could tell he wasn't quite getting it. Maybe, it wasn't something that could be described, like trying to explain colour to someone who was blind from birth. He cast his mind around desperately, and then thought of what it was like when he merged with the Maou and called forth the serpents. "It's like when I wield water," he said finally. Wolfram's face had lit up in understanding.
What he didn't say was. "It's a little bit like falling in love." Because it really wasn't. There was a lot that was different. But the bits that were the same, those were the things that could get confused. He sensed that if he told Wolfram that he'd probably think he was saying that without sex there was no love, when there was. Yuuri loved Wolfram so bad sometimes he couldn't bear it.
"So it's like wielding fire," Wolfram had said.
And as he looked at Wolfram, who had a look of absolute joy on his face at the thought, it was then that he finally stopped feeling sorry that Wolfram couldn't share that exact feeling. Wolfram wasn't missing out on anything.
In the present, with the egg forgotten on the plate he said, "But I don't have to have sex, Wolf."
"And I don't have to horse ride, but it would make me very miserable if I couldn't. I don't want you to be miserable. I don't want you to resent me."
The thing was, as freaked as he was by Wolfram pushing him into having intimate relations with somebody else, and he was freaked – this was the guy who used to chase him around the castle with a fireball when he'd so much as smile at anyone, Yuuri knew that Wolfram's offer was genuine. Wolfram would be happy for him to, well, cheat, in a sense, though he knew that Wolfram didn't see it that way.
But Yuuri wasn't so sure about himself. The thing that really sucked about being married to Wolfram is that he loved Wolfram. As much as he hated to admit it, at least when it came to sex, Yuuri did like the idea of having sex and sharing that joy of touch and desire. If Wolfram had wanted that, really wanted that, then it would have been perfect. Especially after Yuuri had the realisation that the things he'd been taught were essential to sex, like erections and orgasms, weren't as important as he'd thought.
But sex wasn't what Wolfram wanted. It was just the way Wolfram was.
Which meant Yuuri had accepted that he would have to give up on having sex. Because giving up on the marriage was unthinkable. Those touches and kisses, being with Wolf...and being married was enough, it had to be. As long as Wolfram stopped trying to do his 'duty' things would be okay. It had to be.
He didn't love Murata in the same way. That was what he needed with sex. He could have love without sex. He wasn't sure if he could have sex without love.
Still...he did like Murata and Wolfram had asked.
"Do you miss having sex?" He asked, trying to sound casual but, as usual when it came to such sensitive topics, failing miserably.
Now, it was lunch the same day and Murata had arrived a little early. They had decided to have a meal before a meeting.
Murata started to give him that look, the one where what Yuuri was saying was stupid, or not important enough to address or that he'd asked something that Murata didn't think he needed to know (there was still too many of those) or perhaps all three. So, he blurted out before Murata could dismiss him.
"Because I do." Which was much more than he intended to say but, now he had started, he had an overwhelming urge to confess everything. He'd kept all his worries to himself until now. "Wolfram...he's a...he's a fire elemental and he tries...but...," Yuuri trailed off, his fingers became super fascinating.
"Ah, I understand." Murata's voice was kind and Yuuri looked up slowly. Murata didn't look surprised. Then again, Yuuri had yet to see Murata surprised at anything. "Yes. I miss it. Well, I haven't had it yet. But I have memories of what it would be like, and I have an idea of what I'm missing. However, I find that it's easier to not think about what can't be changed."
I do not pursue things that are not possible.
"Is Shinou that jealous?"
"No. He doesn't care. No more than he cares about the chastity of the shrine maidens or the offerings given to him at the roadside shrines. Nevertheless, it is tradition and most of the mazoku take it seriously enough that it has become as good as law. I have no interest in creating a scandal that would compromise your power."
What! Yuuri never wanted Murata to give up anything for him.
"You shouldn't worry about me," he reassured Murata earnestly.
Murata shook his head and adjusted the wide rims of his glasses.
"I'm your biggest and most powerful supporter, Shibuya. That's public knowledge. If my reputation is tarnished, it would harm your authority. You've come so far and done so much good for the kingdom, for this world. I don't want to undo all that to satisfy a craving. It's just not worth it."
Murata gave him a long and sober look; face set in certainty and leaned back in his chair.
"Murata," Yuuri said sorrowfully. Murata cocked his head and gave him a reassuring half-smile.
"It's not worth it," Murata repeated softly with resolve.
Murata could find a lover on Earth, nobody in Shin Makoku would ever know. But his friend hadn't returned to Japan. Murata had shown little interest in ever doing so.
Yuuri thought about having Wolfram in his bed, someone who he could talk to after a long day, someone who he could hold and trust. No matter what happened, or didn't happen between them, Wolfram was his partner, his husband, his love, and he'd be terribly lost without him.
I don't want you to be miserable.
Nobody should be.
"Ummm, perhaps then...if I asked. Would you pledge...with me?" The last two words came out weakly.
Murata snorted, failing to hide his amused cynicism.
"Are you asking?" Murata gave him a cool assessing look. It made Yuuri nervous, more than he was already.
"No, yes. I don't know." He sighed, this time finding the floral decorated plates interesting. Yuuri felt like he was fifteen again and way over his head. It was an awful feeling.
Silence fell heavily on the room. Murata inhaled slowly after a moment.
"There are discreet...professionals I can recommend, Shibuya, if you are lonely for intimacy. No-one will know. Not even your husband."
"What?" And it dawned on him what Murata meant and he felt a surge of hot anger."No. I wouldn't. I love Wolfram. I wouldn't." The thought of having sex with a stranger, and of betraying Wolfram made him ill.
"And yet, you ask me for pledge. It would be easy to assume you want sexual satisfaction. But that's not like you." There was a gentle compassion in Murata's eyes. "It was Prince Wolfram's idea. Wasn't it? He left the book on the desk?"
Yuuri nodded and swallowed.
Murata pushed his glasses up with a coolness which Yuuri envied. "From a certain perspective, it is a beneficial agreement. I'd be able to break celibacy publicly and enjoy sex with no censure. You'd be able to enjoy a sexual liaison with someone who isn't out to break up your marriage or has ambitions at your expense. Prince Wolfram will have no fear that you would call for a divorce or bring dishonour to his name and position. And a pledge would strengthen the alliance between the crown and the temple. It would give more credence to Shinou's will. It would bring a measure of security to the kingdom." Murata spoke as if he had already considered that option. "It's quite...elegant. But it's not that simple, is it?"
"No," Yuuri said sadly. He'd not thought of any of those things, though he was sure Wolfram had. "I'm not sure...I don't... Murata, putting my feelings aside, is it something that you'd want? Are you interested?" In me as a lover? Because, if not, Yuuri could forget this and go back to his life, which was safe. Murata was right. There was no point in wanting the impossible.
Murata stilled and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, eyes opening, he fixed them upon Yuuri seriously. "Yes. I think I would like that. I like you, Shibuya. You are cute," Murata gave him a half-flirtatious sly smile and Yuuri shivered strangely. "I'm attracted to you. I think we'd form a solid partnership and a satisfying relationship."
He found himself returning Murata's smile. "Do you think it's possible to love two people at once?"
"That all depends on the people, Shibuya."
"A date?" Wolfram had asked as Yuuri crawled under the soft blankets.
Never once had he thought he'd ask his future husband if it was okay to go on a date with another man. But then he'd never thought his future spouse would be a husband or that the "other woman"would be a man. Such was his life since moving to Shin Makoku.
"An opportunity for us to get to know each other."
Wolfram looked annoyed. "You haven't pledged yet, Yuuri!"
"No, no. Not like that. Just a way for us to get to know each other, in a...in a, umm...not-friends way." He struggled with an explanation. "It's just like courting."
"Well, why didn't you say so?" Wolfram said with irritation and folded his arms across his chest looking down at him from beside the bed.
Yuuri pulled the blankets aside and pulled Wolfram down next to him, dragging the covers around them like a cocoon, warm and safe. Yuuri rubbed his cheek pleasantly against Wolfram's and resisted the urge to unbraid Wolfram's carefully done hair so he could run his fingers through the silky strands. He'd lose his hair brushing privileges if he tried and he did love to brush Wolfram's hair.
"You don't think it's strange?" He whispered to Wolfram.
"Why would it be?" Wolfram's voice was genuinely puzzled.
"Well...Wolf, I..." He propped his chin on his elbow, looking down at Wolfram. Wolfram was wearing a long cream nightgown with only a minimum of lace, possibly one of his most restrained outfits for sleeping. His husband chewed on his lower lip looking up at him in bewilderment. "I can't have sex with someone I don't love."
"Well, of course not. This is one of many reasons why Murata is a good choice. You love him. You care for him. He's not a stranger."
But he wasn't in love with him. Wolfram tugged him down back under the covers and snaked one arm around him.
"I love you, Wolfram. It's not the same as how I feel for Murata."
"No, but you will." Wolfram's voice was certain and Yuuri thought he detected some sadness.
"Wolf-"
"You are such a wimp." Yuuri was silenced by Wolfram's kiss. "I want this for you and I want this for me."
Another kiss.
After a few moments of kissing and then soft, gentle petting, Wolfram was fast asleep, his arm still around him tightly. It took much, much longer for sleep to find Yuuri.
The 'date' was at the temple. Yuuri had thought about cancelling twice. The only thing that stopped him in the end was the thought of Wolfram's disapproval. Though, underneath, he was curious. So, perhaps, he was using Wolfram as an excuse.
"Have you a courting gift?" Wolfram had asked.
"No?" It wasn't like Yuuri had ever courted. He'd got engaged to Wolfram the day they met and everything fell into place after.
"We're friends. I don't think he'll mind." He couldn't imagine turning up on Murata's doorstep with roses or chocolates. Or he could, and easily imagine the teasing he'd get from Murata if he tried.
Wolfram had said something under his breath and then retrieved a case after rifling through his chest of things and then shoving the case at Yuuri with a put upon attitude.
"Use this. It will have to do at such short notice." Wolfram placed his hands on his hips and scowled at him. Yuuri bit his lips to prevent himself from laughing, the urge brought on by combination of nerves and the weirdness of what was happening. "However," Wolfram continued "if you want an extended courting, which is unconventional for a pledge," Wolfram frowned and sighed, "you'll need to get something crafted especially."
Yuuri looked at the case dumbly and tried not to sound too whiny. "I don't know, Wolfram. I don't think Murata will mind if I skip on the gifts."
"I won't have any husband embarrass me with bad etiquette."
Yuuri opened the lid carefully. Inside was a delicate bracelet with a golden coloured sapphire, the colour in the gem captured the light so it looked a bit like fire, or embers. He gave Wolfram a questioning look. Yuuri had never seen Wolfram wear it.
"It was a gift someone gave me a few decades ago. Nobody will know."
"Wolfram, I can't... This looks expensive."
Wolfram shrugged his shoulders dismissively. "I expect it was."
It was cool, but not unpleasantly so. They sat atop the temple rooftop on thick blankets and drank sweet red wine that Murata favoured. It went down well after the meal that Murata had prepared.
The view was amazing. The temple was higher than the castle and afforded a better view. Below nestled among the mountains that shielded the city on two sides, was the capital of Shin Makoku. The lights were golden and small looking for a capital. At least, they were to Yuuri's eyes having come from a city which had a population ten times bigger than all of Shin Makoku. He'd still hadn't gotten over that, such a large country with so few people.
The moon wasn't full, but there was enough light so he could see the royal pennants fluttering from the castle's towers and battlements. He could even make out the window of his suites which faced the temple and mountains below. Wolfram would probably be spending time with Greta or Gwendal.
"Why don't you go back to Earth? At least until you finish your studies," he asked Murata softly.
Murata was lying on his back. Eyes closed behind his wide rimmed glasses. Most likely enjoying the buzz of the wine. Murata had drunk far more than Yuuri. Yuuri envied him. Murata's rooms were close by, so he wouldn't need to go far to roll into bed.
He looked down at Murata curiously.
Murata had been accepted into the most prestigious university in Japan. Even though he had spent so much time in Shin Makoku while studying, Murata's academic record was perfect. With his scores, universities worldwide would have been fighting over him and afterwards...well. Murata could be anything, anything at all. He could have his pick of whichever career or vocation he wanted. Murata was scarily smart; loved learning and would have enjoyed the challenge of university.
Murata shrugged and opened his eyes to gaze at the stars above. "I can't live in both worlds. This is the one I've chosen. I have very little reason to return." Murata wasn't close to his family. "I like this world as much as Japan. It's challenging, just as interesting as anything I could do on Earth."
Just as interesting. Not more or less. The same.
"But on Earth, you can have a girlfriend...or boyfriend. You wouldn't have to worry about the rules here and you could study. I'd come and visit you when I'm with my family. It's not like we'd never see each other again." Yuuri couldn't understand why Murata had stayed.
Not that he didn't appreciate Murata's support. In fact, without it, he didn't think he would have made it, even with Conrad, Gwendal, and Wolfram's help. It was Murata who was able to help him with all the cultural confusion – Murata whom he had grown up with, (who always understood even when Wolfram didn't). Yuuri didn't want Murata to leave but he wouldn't want to stop him from finding happiness on Earth.
A sudden idea occurred to Yuuri and he asked. "Why here? Is it Shinou?"
Murata shook his head and moved up in a sitting position so he was facing him, legs crossed. He was wearing a black cotton shirt with a few buttons undone so Yuuri could see the lean line of his collarbone, pale under the dim light of the stars above. It seemed strange after Yuuri had become used to seeing Murata in his high collared jacket. It brought back the nostalgia of when they were young and wore casual clothes when playing games or just hanging out at the mall.
Murata was a handsome guy. Attractive in an odd way. Perhaps, it was the look of amusement and intelligence he usually wore.
Murata cocked his head, shrugged casually. "I could live without Shinou's presence. It would be a relief of sorts and I will see him again. That's our karma."
Murata didn't sound happy or unhappy with that, just matter of fact.
Yuuri put his hands up in mild exasperation. "Then…why?"
Murata gave him a small smile, open affection in his dark eyes.
Oh. Oh.
"Murata I-" Yuuri took a deep breath for courage. "You would have stayed with me if I had decided to stay in Shin Makoku after Soushou, wouldn't you have?"
Even knowing there was a chance that they might not ever have been able to return. He wasn't even sure that his brother would have stayed with him.
Murata didn't say anything for a long moment, looking reflective.
"You're my reason for this life, Shibuya. My soul has been waiting forever for you and even before I could walk I was searching for you, even before I was born." Murata placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "But though I was born to guide you and to protect you, I wasn't required to like you. And I wasn't required to love you."
Before Yuuri could wrap his mind around those words Murata leaned forward and kissed him, a hand sliding around to the nape of Yuuri's neck. Innocent at first, not pushing. It altered when Yuuri opened his mouth with a sudden urge to lick the wine that he knew would be on Murata's lips. There was an audible sigh which sounded like longing. Yuuri didn't know whom it came from but then Murata was really kissing him, lips, tongue hungry and forceful.
Kissing Wolfram was like sunshine, comfort and the smell of vanilla and soap clean skin (wolfram skin). It was like sleeping in on a Sunday morning buried in soft blankets when it was freezing outside. It was what Yuuri associated with love and home. Kissing Murata was utterly different and, yet, exactly the same. It was raw desire, heat, and sex. But under it all, beneath, it was the same raw need for connection and affection, almost desperation. It stirred in Yuuri similar protective instincts. He wanted to love and cherish Murata in the same way. He needed to.
It was a revelation more shocking than Murata's confession and Yuuri wasn't sure what to do and he froze, his hands clutched in Murata's soft shirt.
Murata stopped instantly and pulled back giving him a rueful look. On instinct, Yuuri took Murata's hand in reassurance. "It's okay. It's just a surprise." He was breathing heavily and his pants were tight. His cock was hard and he knew by Murata's look that he wasn't far behind.
I don't know what to do now, he thought unsteadily. But, instead, he said blinking back the emotional tears forming in his eyes.
"Murata, I'm married."
It was a terribly dense thing to say and cruel under the circumstances. It wasn't that he was married that upset Yuuri (he couldn't believe he was thinking that). But that's what this was about after all. This date; it was permitted. It was that by being married, Wolfram was given priority…and that was terribly unfair knowing how Murata felt. Murata deserved much more than Yuuri could give.
Murata shrugged, squeezed his hand, and gave him a gentle smile. He was close, kneeling in front of him.
"That I know." Murata's voice was dry. "As Prince Wolfram was clear in the courier he sent me an hour before our 'date'" Yuuri could hear the amused quotes that Murata imbued in the last word.
Yuuri covered his other hand over his face in embarrassment. Naturally.
"He also told me that I shouldn't take 'no' for an answer as regards any offer I give of pledge. He's organised a meeting for us to go over the contract tomorrow and a following appointment with Lord von Voltaire and von Christ to witness it."
Hysterical laughter bubbled forth. It fit his weird life. He'd become Demon King in one day and engaged the next day. Next to those life-altering moments, a mere handful of days to commit himself to another relationship was positively long-term. And to think he'd never understood how his parents could get married after only so short a time knowing each other.
"You guys have it all worked out? Whose supposed to be the Demon King here?" Yuuri pointed out only lightly sarcastic.
His brother, Shori, always complained about how easy going he was. But, most of the time, Yuuri was happy to accommodate others. He knew that Wolfram's fussing over clothing, protocol, and schedules made him happy – and he didn't see any reason to begrudge that. Once he'd worked that out, it was incredibly simple to be with Wolfram, and when it came to the big things, Yuuri was never afraid to put his foot down. One time, Conrad had confided that he thought Yuuri could outdo Wolfram in stubbornness when he made his mind up.
So…he guessed, he'd already decided what he was going to do with Murata, judging how much it didn't bother him that Wolfram and Murata had already organised everything behind his back.
It didn't bother him one bit.
But he wanted...Yuuri needed to make sure both of them were happy with this arrangement.
Murata pushed his glasses up and gave him a tentative smile, interrupting his thoughts.
"I would not have..." Murata paused for a moment and closed his eyes. "I only saw this as a possibility with your husband's approval and support. Wolfram is your consort. I accept that. Have accepted that for a long time, as well that you love him strongly. He is your first priority and that does not bother me."
Murata was totally sincere and it made Yuuri angry.
"Well, it bothers me. You should be loved just as much…you shouldn't sell yourself short. You're well, you, and you're amazing." Smart, dedicated, incredibly charming and…well hot. He'd seen how quickly girls flocked to Murata's side on Earth. What did his brother call it? 'Geek charm'.
Murata gave him a peculiar smile.
"As much as I enjoy your flattering remark, I can't marry you, Shibuya, not here. And I don't want to marry anyone else on Earth. I understand if you don't want this. I only want this if this is your sincere wish. It's the last thing I'd want to force onto you." Murata started to pull his hand away but Yuuri refused to let go.
"No." Yuuri said adamantly and it was only the fact that he was looking at Murata that he was able to catch the flicker of hurt in his eyes before the normal placid facade returned. He swiftly added. "You can't force me…but…if you're going to be an idiot about it, knowing how I feel about Wolfram, and that you have to share my time with him and that, publicly, he takes…that he'll take precedence beside me. Then well…Then I'll have to love you just as much."
So dare! Okay, when had Yuuri reverted to childhood?
And, once he said it, Yuuri realised how easy that would be. He'd asked if it was possible once to love two people at the same time and, of course it was. It was incredibly easy, as easy as it was to love Wolfram.
"And don't think I want this just because of the sex," he added.
"I would hope not. You wouldn't have enough gold in the castle's treasury to pay for me," Murata said smoothly with humour in his eyes and then silenced any comebacks Yuuri would have had (if he'd had a quick wit) by giving him one more of those toe curling kisses.
When he got back, Wolfram was sitting on the large purple divan fingering that fragile bracelet. His hair was down, now a little past his shoulder, a little in disarray and Yuuri had to fight the urge to comb his hands through them and smooth those silky strands.
"You didn't bring this with you," Wolfram said neutrally.
"No. It didn't feel right," he admitted.
Wolfram had a look of momentary relief, which was rapidly replaced by irritation.
"That is not the appropriate way to go about courting, Yuuri."
Yuuri gave him an apologetic look. "I know. I'm sorry. But, Wolf, I know Murata. And...I had a feeling you didn't want to part with it."
Wolfram didn't say anything, still stroking the bracelet delicately.
"You said someone gave it to you?"
Wolfram looked up at him slowly, perched on the edge of the richly upholstered divan, his green eyes were distant. "Yes, it was a gift."
"Anyone I know?"
Wolfram didn't answer for a beat, staring down at the bracelet and then looking up at Yuuri. He took a breath and pulled some hair back behind one ear and then spoke softly. "His name was Goddard...Goddard von Hansburg, from one of the minor noble families. He was only a few years older than me, just old enough to serve in the cavalry. He was snapped up right away for service, of course. He was a very talented earth user."
"Was?" Yuuri said looking at Wolfram's sad features.
"He died in the first year of the war, ambushed by humans." Wolfram emphasised the last word resignedly and not in the usual way of disgust he had years before. "He had given me this gift as an intention to court me when I was older. It would have been a good match. His family wasn't powerful or old, but they were...still are, affluent. He shouldn't have been a soldier, but all men were needed in the war."
Yuuri had heard enough about those mad years from Conrad, Yozak, and others. Everyone old enough had been recruited and, towards the later years, even younger boys and older men were pulled into service. If Wolfram hadn't been a noble and the greatly protected youngest son of the then- Queen, even he would have been sent away in the last and most desperate years.
"Goddard was such a kind boy. He loved gardening." Wolfram's eyes softened in memory.
Yuuri felt the stirring of jealousy.
"You must have cared about him a lot."
"I did...and I almost certainly would have married him. It would have been a suitable alliance."
Wolfram looked at him, and some of his jealousy must have shown in his face. Carefully, Wolfram leaned forward, picked up his hand, and kissed it in reassurance. "But I never loved him. Not like how I love you. When mother was the Maou, it was expected I'd marry a nobleman for a political union. I couldn't provide any lady with a child."
Yuuri had never really thought about that aspect of Wolfram's sexuality.
"Goddard knew... I told him I couldn't be a good lover. And I wouldn't have expected him to be faithful. But, nonetheless, he would have grown to be a good man and husband." Wolfram sighed sadly and fingered the gold coloured sapphire in the bracelet. "I wouldn't have loved him. Such feeling isn't expected with the nobility, Yuuri. But he would have treated me respectfully and I liked him. Mother was careful to find someone considerate; she wanted me to be happy."
It was odd to hear Wolfram confess that, accepting infidelity so calmly. "When mother resigned, it was a relief. There were no more expectations of me to marry. I didn't think I would ever be interested. I only wanted to focus on my squad, to serve my house and kingdom with honour."
"And then I came along and ruined that." Yuuri said it light-heartedly but there was an element of anxiety in his voice.
Wolfram smiled. "Yes. It's how I felt at the time, you remember? But then I fell in love with you. I should have told you, but I thought..." Wolfram lowered his eyes and Yuuri sat down next to him and waited for his husband to carry on. "I was determined to be everything for you, all you'd ever need. I couldn't tolerate the thought of you being with anyone else. You said you liked girls, too. So, I thought you'd be satisfied to take me as one. I never thought you'd want me as a man to...to...make love to you. I felt so much shame that night when you asked." Wolf laughed bitterly and put the bracelet carefully on a side table next to the divan and turned to face him and said sadly. "And as it turned out, I couldn't even please you adequately in any form of lovemaking. You kept pushing me away, and I knew it was my failure. I thought...I believed..." Wolfram's voice wavered. "I thought love would make it easier. It didn't." Wolfram ended flatly. "You had every right to put me aside or to force me. I am yours, my body and my soul. Yet, you never did. You never will."
"No...Wolf." He needn't have forced Wolfram, his husband had offered constantly. But Yuuri had always sensed that it wasn't what Wolfram wanted. Yuuri couldn't hurt Wolfram in that way, to take what wasn't freely given.
Wolfram took another unsteady breath and spoke. This time, he had a quiet, certain tone to it and he reached out and clasped Yuuri's hand firmly. "I knew...I know that it makes you dissatisfied. You need more. So I was... This pledge was the one thing I knew would make you happy, and that would keep me close to you. I believe...I trust that Murata will please you and will keep faith. I know you will love him. I know you can't be intimate empty of true feeling."
"Wolf," Yuuri said sadly. But he could not disagree, especially after this night.
"It's one of the things about you I love, Yuuri. You are so honest. It is a difficult thing for me, to share you with another. But Murata is the best choice. He will keep to the contract...but I hope you can still love me and still share my bed. I love you there beside me. I need to hold you. I...I love you."
"Wolf," Yuuri said again sadly, feeling bad to see Wolfram struggle so, his face drawn in misery. "I don't have to do this. I don't want you be so unhappy. I won't-"
"Yes you will, wimp! The fact that you would not for the sake of my feelings, it makes my resolve stronger." Wolfram's voice rose sharply and he pinned Yuuri with fierce green eyes. "It would make me far unhappier to see you wanting. The pledge will be good for the kingdom and for you. I ask but one thing and I ask only once. Do not flaunt your relationship in public." That sentence sounded memorised to Yuuri, like he'd practiced in front of a mirror. "Please." Wolfram covered his mouth, the last word burst forth unbidden.
This was one of the hardest things for Yuuri to see, Wolfram had such strong pride and he was practically begging. Yuuri would never take Wolf's offer lightly.
"I won't." And he sealed it in a way he knew Wolfram could have faith in. "On my word as Maou, I will keep the relationship with Murata discreet. I love you. Thank you, Wolf."
Wolfram nodded, closed his eyes and his shoulders relaxed in relief. Yuuri pulled him into his arms and kissed his brow.
He found himself throwing ball with Conrad an hour before the meeting. Wolfram and Murata had started into the contract as soon as Murata had arrived and phrases such as 'accommodation upgrades' 'regency contractual obligations,' and 'conjugal rights,' which were being discussed in earnest while poring over the thick agreement had driven Yuuri away.
"I see you guys got everything under control. I'm going to play err- am going for a walk."
"Tell Conrad that you need to be on time for the meeting," Wolfram had said with a wave of his hand offhandedly, knowing exactly what he'd be doing. Wolfram had not even raised his eyes from the contract to look at him. Murata managed to give him a wry grin.
Yuuri's instincts told him that Wolfram needed to organise things, to have control over how this agreement would work, and so this contract was incredibly important to him. Therefore, Yuuri didn't feel that insulted to be overlooked. He shook his head and responded only a little dryly.
"Sure...okay."
He didn't want to know how Wolfram had managed to put together such a detailed document at such short notice. He figured the less he knew the better. He'd been forced to sit through hours with Gwendal before marrying Wolfram going over similar legal documents. And while he was sure he was going to have to put his approval on more papers, he trusted Murata and Wolfram to sort it out. He knew it was necessary considering his status. It was all about protecting Wolfram's rights, which was a big deal with the nobility, but things like love, loyalty, and affection being reduced to legal conditions on parchment made him very uncomfortable.
"You seem distracted, Yuuri," Conrad said, holding the ball in one mitt. "Is this about the meeting that Wolfram has organised?"
Yuuri frowned, debating how much he should tell Conrad. He would find out soon enough, everyone would, and it wasn't as if Wolfram had asked him to keep it a secret.
"Well, I've decided to take the pledge with Murata."
Conrad paused. This was clearly an unexpected revelation. Of course, this had all happened so suddenly.
"I see. How does Wolfram feel about this?"
"Well...it was his id-err... He's very supportive. Wolf admires and respects Murata."
Conrad's cocked one eyebrow up. "I see," he said again steadily. Yuuri had a feeling that Conrad understood quite well.
"They are going over the documents now, Murata and Wolf."
"And how do you feel about this?"
"I...feel..." Scared, sick, excited, and terrified and yet.. "It's right." And then clarified. "It feels like the right thing to do. I love Wolfram and I love Murata."
I need them both in my life.
He smiled at Conrad, feeling stupidly giddy.
Conrad's frame, which until then had been a little stiff, relaxed.
"Then you've made the right decision."
Gwendal gave him a long, hard look. He tried to look as earnest as possible but he wasn't sure if that was working. Gwendal could be scary and, no matter how old he got, Yuuri suspected the man would still intimidate the hell out of him.
To his right, Murata sat with an amiable lazy smile on his face. To his left, Wolfram was seated, back straight looking cool and composed. Though, the fact that Wolfram had his hand in his and his nails were digging into his palm told a different story.
"Is this what you wish, Wolfram?" Gwendal said after an eternity of scrutinising Yuuri.
Wolfram bowed his head graciously. "It is. I respect the Great Sage and trust he will abide by the terms of the pledge. I will be proud to have him as a brother."
Brother!
Behind Gwendal, leaning against the wall, Conrad gave a faint smile of support.
"The contract is sound," Günter said, removing his reading glasses and pushing the papers in front of Gwendal. "It protects all the privileges of the current consort and is extremely munificent to Prince Wolfram's position," Günter added clearly knowing what Gwendal wanted to hear. "It is, by custom, a wise choice, uniting the crown and the temple."
Gwendal scowled even more and fingered the contract rather distastefully and then asked Yuuri flatly. "Whose idea was it?"
Wolfram's hand in his tensed.
"It was mine," Murata replied without hesitation. "For diplomatic purposes, for friendship, and because I weary of a cold bed." Murata's smile lengthened, brazen, and he put his hand lightly on Yuuri's.
Gwendal glowered at Murata and then straightened the papers in front of him uncomfortably.
Yuuri felt tension gathering in his body. He was worried about Wolfram's pride. But, to his surprise, Yuuri could feel Wolfram's hand relax. Oh, of course. Yuuri was slow. It would be shameful for his husband to admit that it was his idea – it would have been clear to everyone why, due to Wolfram's perceived shortcomings. And it would have been the same if Yuuri had admitted that it was his idea. Murata had saved Wolfram's honour by playing up the part of the lecherous flirt. Not that it was such a long stretch, because Murata was a flirt.
"Yes, I think it would be good for...umm...diplomacy," Yuuri ended awkwardly and winced when Wolfram dug his nails in with annoyance.
Wolfram agreed with him smoothly, "I concur."
Gwendal gave Wolfram another long look. It was clear he was uncomfortable with his younger brother's agreement, but whatever he could see in Wolfram's face must have convinced him.
Pushing the ink and quill over, he offered the contract and Wolfram signed it gracefully...followed by Murata's signature and then finally Yuuri's.
Günter hovered the tin of wax over a candle and with a wave of Wolf's hand the flame shot up hot liquefying the wax instantly and the Chancellor's assistant pulled it back with a hiss and gave Wolfram a look of irritation. Then, carefully and neatly, Günter poured the black wax over the bottom corner of the front page.
Wolfram handed Yuuri the seal and, keeping his hand steady, he pushed the royal crest into the soft wax.
"The pledge is recognised. Couriers will be sent to the provinces and allies tomorrow to notify them and an announcement will be given in the square," Gwendal said, clearly wanting out of the room as soon as he was able.
With a hand in Wolfram's and one in Murata's, Yuuri gave a weak smile.
No ceremony or ritual was required. Yuuri was now not-married to Murata.
"Goodnight, brother," Wolfram said, kissing Murata on the cheek. Murata returned the same chaste kiss casually.
"Brother?" Yuuri asked later, not sure how to feel about this development.
"You never did read anything further on the issue did you?" Murata said mildly with affection. No, he guessed he relied a lot on Wolfram and his advisors to fill him in on such details. Yuuri still used his instincts to work things out, more often than not on the fly. Though he knew it pained everyone, it usually worked out. But Yuuri had gotten better at not making huge mistakes and paying much more attention to what his friends thought was important, experience over the years had shown that their counsel was extremely valuable. He was lucky. "Any spouse of the king is now recognised as my sibling. I now have the same familial social responsibilities to Wolfram as his other brothers."
"What are those?" Yuuri asked curiously, his initial reaction of uncertainty fading.
"Various things. I doubt I'll be called upon them. Any of those obligations would be quickly filled by Lord Weller and Lord von Voltaire. Blood carries more weight, naturally. Within society, that is how we will relate to one another, as siblings. It does bring some benefit. I can spend private time with Wolfram without arousing any unseemly suspicions. That will be valuable. I will need to work with Wolfram more often, too, so that this works. We will be seen as family."
"We are family," Yuuri said. "You are...you are..." He faltered, lost for words.
"I am the Great Sage and I will be your lover, Yuuri. And you will be mine."
"Murata-"
"Titles mean things here, Yuuri," Murata interrupted firmly. "You've been here long enough to know this. I am married to Shinou and you are married to Wolfram."
"But those are just words. It might mean that to others and I know that's how our relationship is tolerated. But what matters is what we think, how we feel." He spoke this slowly in thought, his brow knitted. "Wolfram is my consort, the prince. That title has meaning because it's very important to him and I value how he feels. And he is my lover because I love him. You are my lover for exactly the same reason. That is how I see that word—'love'. I love you."
Yuuri was sure that love would grow and change, as it had with Wolfram.
Murata opened his mouth and then closed it, looking somewhat flummoxed at Yuuri's confession. It was a rare look for Murata.
"What did Wolfram say to you?" Yuuri deliberately changed the subject to save them both embarrassment. After dinner, Wolfram had pulled Murata aside for a short and somewhat intense conversation where Yuuri had not been welcomed. He'd gone into the guest room...now Murata's room and got ready for bed instead, taking his clothes off and putting on a thin, black robe, naked beneath.
Murata picked up a hair brush and paused.
"Mostly logistics… Going over the schedule of when I will spend the night with you and we came to a private understanding."
Murata said this with a finality which told him he wasn't going to know more. Something told him he wasn't going to get anything out of Wolfram, either.
This whole night had been unreal. In the baths, Wolfram had washed him thoroughly, and he'd gotten aroused. But, unlike last time, he didn't feel the need to hide it. "This is not going to be wasted," Wolfram had said and Yuuri was torn between severe mortification and amazed admiration that Wolfram could be so accepting, but before he could act on either, he'd been kissed again, breathlessly, by his husband.
"I love you. I'm so in love with you," Yuuri had said desperately and Wolfram's face had lit up. If it hadn't been for Wolfram, prodding and pushing him forward, he wouldn't be here with Murata. He'd never even have considered it. He was starting to understand that Wolfram had saved their relationship by suggesting the pledge. Yuuri would never cheat, but he might have grown to resent the situation, perhaps to resent Wolfram just like Wolfram had said. In some small way, he already had been, though he never realised it.
They had all had dinner together. Completely normal. It hadn't been the first time Murata had shared dinner with them. It wasn't any different from usual. Apart from knowing that afterwards he'd be sharing the night with Murata and not Wolfram.
Yet, bizarrely, the routine was comforting, calming his nerves. He'd thought Murata would have pounced on him as soon as he walked into the door. But, instead, it had been quiet..just small talk. Murata had changed casually (he'd peeked only a little) and then brushed his hair. But Yuuri was grateful. This, he could handle. He felt just as nervous as he had on his wedding night.
He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Murata continued brushing his hair, which had grown to shoulder length, before carefully tying it back with a leather tie. It was so domestic. And it was strange to think that Wolfram was only one room away, across the sitting room in their own bed, perhaps doing the same thing.
Putting the brush down and placing his glasses on the dresser, Murata crawled onto the bed next to him, white nightgown stark against his dark features. Yuuri felt warm and thought suddenly became difficult.
"Can I touch you?" Murata asked in Japanese and it calmed Yuuri more. Murata was someone he'd known for years, and there was nothing to worry about.
"Yeah, sure." He sighed as Murata traced his fingers along the inside of this throat, and then reached down and kissed the back of Yuuri's neck. Without thought, he turned his head and blindly sought out a kiss. Murata touched lips against his.
This was nothing like the date. There, it had been about exploration and a question. This was much more and, yet, not as desperate. He whimpered as Murata's tongue seeked entrance. Murata's heat against his side soaking through the thin silk like robe easily.
When Murata pulled back, Yuuri gasped. His skin was hot, his nipples pebbled hard against the cool silky fabric of his robe. His body felt wonderful, but it was also frightening.
"What would you like to do? I have no preferences," Murata asked mildly as he rubbed his hand up Yuuri's arm soothingly.
"None?" Yuuri asked with a short, nervous laugh.
"What can I say? I'm easy, as long as it doesn't involve blood, broken bones, or furry animals."
"Here kitty, kitty," Yuuri called and Murata tackled him down, straddling him as they both laughed.
"Okay...you got me. You got me," he protested, smiling up at Murata. Underneath, Murata wasn't wearing any underwear and Yuuri's robe had fallen open and, with that first naked contact, Yuuri whimpered again.
Leaning down so that Murata's aroused cock rubbed against his thigh, he kissed Yuuri while encircling his hardening arousal with perfect pressure. Yuuri gasped.
"Yeah, I've got you," Murata whispered. Yuuri squirmed.
"What would you like?" Murata asked again, voice breathy as he started to stroke Yuuri's shaft, lightly, teasingly, not enough, not nearly enough.
Yuuri knew what he wanted, what he'd tried to get on his wedding night in ignorance. And, just like then, he didn't know what words to use. But, this time, he hoped it would end in the way he wanted.
He stilled Murata's hand and opened his legs wider, exposing himself.
Murata's eyes widened in understanding. Yuuri wasn't able to be any more obvious.
"You want me to fuck you?" Murata said, there was clear surprise in his voice as Yuuri nodded, relieved.
"Please...if that's okay?"
Murata's smile became wicked and Yuuri's cock twitched.
"Oh...oh hell yeah!"
Murata smelt very differently from Wolfram and Yuuri was relieved. He didn't want to get them confused. He wondered if Wolfram was okay in that bed alone. Then, he realised he'd end up thinking the same thing when he's with Wolfram, worrying about Murata. He'd have to let that worry go in the long run.
As they laid there in the dark, Murata shifted against him. "A few lifetimes ago, my soul was in a woman who was married to a man called Matthias. She loved Matthias very much. He was everything she had wanted. You see, she had grown up in a small village and had come to accept that she would need to marry one of the men in that village. I was not so aware of my memories in that lifetime. It happens that way." Yuuri wondered if Murata realised that he had switched pronouns, that woman no longer some other person. "I think it was a blessing in some lives. I had a vague awareness that I was different in that one. I had some knowledge that was more than anyone had around me but it would not have done me any good. In the place I was in, being a woman at that time meant my options were...limited. To have any awareness that there could be more would have been cruel. It would also have been dangerous. So, I was wise enough to keep the extra amount of knowledge that I did have to myself."
Murata had started to stroke Yuuri's stomach lightly, voice distant in memory.
"That woman, Joan, she didn't understand what the fuss was about, with romance, or why her older sister and her two friends her age would gossip about boys. And, later, when her sister had married, could not get the innuendos and jokes. Joan didn't know and she never would that she was asexual. She had no more interest in sex than a fire elemental would here and no interest in marriage. Until Matthias had come. He was a nephew of the blacksmith. He'd been apprenticed to another but he'd fallen into a dispute with the local lord and, to protect him, his family had sent him off to our backwater hamlet. Matthias was always a hothead." Murata's voice was affectionate.
There was silence and finally Yuuri asked, curious.
"So what happened with Joan?"
"Oh," Murata's voice was a little sleepy. "She fell in love with Matthias and they wed and Joan was very happy. Except for the attentions Matthias would force upon her at night. She could never abide those touches and it wasn't as if Matthias was cruel. He tried his best. I knew enough in that lifetime to see that, but I still hated it. Eventually, I got used to it. I had no choice. There was no way I could deny my husband and there was no way he would have understood what I felt. But it was a tragedy in a way, because though I would open up to him, he would sense that I did not want him."
Yuuri thought of Wolfram.
"Did they ever find a solution?"
"No. Life continued, we lived, we died. But Matthias was never really happy. If I had the opportunity and the understanding and freedom to have acted on it, I would have been happy for him to have found that happiness with a trusted other as long as he loved me and returned to me. And Matthias loved me a lot. He had a good heart. I was lucky to find a man such as him. But adultery was a sin and neither of us would have ever thought of it. It's strange." Murata rolled onto his back. "I had forgotten about that life until tonight."
Yuuri pulled the covers up and settled against Murata's solid weight. He felt sore but in a good way, pleasantly satiated. Murata had shown him some interesting things. It wasn't what he'd expected. It had been playful and very satisfying – in many ways, an extension of their friendship. Their intimacy had come effortlessly. He didn't think he could have done this if it had been casual. But this...whatever they had, somewhere between friendship and love, was a commitment as solid as his marriage to Wolfram. And he trusted Murata, which counted for a lot.
"Thank you," he said sincerely "for telling me."
"I should thank you." Murata stroked a thumb down his cheek. "It's not the sex I missed the most." Murata laughed wryly against his brow. "Okay, I missed the sex...but it wasn't that alone. I missed this."
Murata snaked his arm around his waist. "It's having someone to hold, someone who cares." Murata confessed low in his ear.
The next night was with Wolfram. Wolfram and Murata had decided that three nights a week he would spend with Murata in the guest room. Though, now, it would become the Great Sage's chamber in the castle. It was the most Murata could spare at the time and would change accordingly depending upon the season and Wolfram and Murata's work schedule.
He found himself shy at first, unsure of how to act around his husband. Wolfram had not acted any differently, crawling into his lap as he lounged on the couch reading a report and peppering his face with kisses. "We should go to bed. It's late," Wolfram said...but he didn't move. They were comfortable and Yuuri shifted to give Wolfram more room. He found himself getting half-hard and Wolf would have felt it. But, unlike before, there was no stiffness or...worse, stilted attempts from Wolfram with sexual attentions. As Wolfram placed his head on his shoulder, he realised that this was the first time he was able to fully relax and take pleasure in the closeness that they had.
"Tomorrow, you have an early meeting with Ambassador Hayden," Wolfram said with a yawn.
"The one with the mole shaped like a horse?"
"Yuuri," Wolfram admonished him with a laugh.
"What! It totally looks like a horse's head. I dare you to look tomorrow at his face and not notice."
Wolfram snorted and then relaxed against him. "Then, you'll need to inspect Gwendal's squad."
That reminded Yuuri. "You'll be going on patrol soon?"
"Yes, I leave in three weeks for a month this time. The weather will be good up north then. And, now, you'll have Murata to keep you from doing anything ridiculous while I'm away."
Murata would have done that anyway, but he didn't think that's exactly what Wolfram meant.
"I'll miss you." Yuuri always did, but knew that this was another thing that he could never change about Wolfram, and he didn't want to. Wolfram loved serving the kingdom as a soldier.
"You'll be fine." Wolfram turned on his side, all warm and smelling nice and said softly, the atmosphere changing, "Murata...he was kind to you?"
"He was kind." Murata was very kind.
"Good."
There was a moment of silence.
"Wolf, your squad, they are all fire wielders?"
"Yes...well apart from three air wielders. They make fire attacks far more effective." Yuuri had no doubt of that. "It's much easier to work with fire wielders. The common folk are far more welcoming when they believe that we're not likely to impregnate their daughters and debauch their sons," Wolfram ended the last bit with a derisive laugh which Yuuri couldn't understand.
"Are any of your men married?"
"No, though several are committed to each other in love. Fire wielders make for better career soldiers, for they usually have no family to divide their loyalties from the crown." There was another pause. "One of our air wielders is betrothed to a lady and is hopelessly love struck." Wolfram's tone was a cross between affection and mild derision.
I wouldn't have loved him. Such feeling isn't expected with the nobility.
"Nobody sees us as a love match, do they?" Yuuri said unhappily thinking of poor Goddard von Hansburg.
Wolfram took a while to answer. "Apart from those who know us best, no, Yuuri. We make a good political match. It was by accident but nobody would believe it, with my house, and its alliances, my mother being the former Maou and my brother being the head of Voltaire. It was a good match. We are a good match. The best."
Yuuri took Wolfram's hand and repeated with affection. "The best."
Wolfram turned to him and brushed his lips on his cheek.
"Come on, my love," Wolfram said with affection, dragging him up without warning breaking the serious atmosphere. "Time for bed. I'll let you brush my hair."
End
Comments always welcome.
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