Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, its characters or its locations. They belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
"Sweetie," Nichole called from the apartment entrance. Token, who had been sitting on the living room couch watching TV quickly made his way to the door to greet his wife. After sharing a kiss he led her to the living room, where she would talk to him about her work. Instead of listening like he always did, Token was focusing on an item that was kept inside her purse. What is that, and why does it suddenly feel evil?
"Token," Nichole says, concerned, "are you alright?"
"W-what," he stutters, "sorry, I couldn't listen. I must've dozed off. What is that in your purse?"
"Oh, this?" she grins, "This is just a little something I got from a video store."
"Wow, does that make me feel old," he says whimsically, "Those things still exist?" It's a wonder there are still video stores in this day and age. Ever since the dawn of online movie rentals and streaming, video stores have become obsolete. Now they have become the butt of internet jokes about ancient civilizations.
"Yeah, I got it from a small shop. Apparently it's 'the last video store in the world', as the clerk told me," she giggles at the memory.
"Weird, but cool," he says, "So, what is it about?"
"Oh, it's a little porno for us to have fun with. It's called Backdoor Sluts 20."
At the mention of the title, Token blacks out. That title sounds kind of familiar to him; a little too familiar. Suddenly he starts reliving memories from before, several years in the past; memories that took place in a certain little town at a certain age.
All the noble warriors and wizards and whatnot have gathered in the Woods of Gathering near Talangar the Black's home. They have all reunited to discuss the fate of a most dangerous item: a Lord of the Rings videotape. As Kyle the Jewish Paladin brings the evil video, everyone awes at its evil. The High-Elf of Faragon steps forward and declares that someone with a high constitution should watch the video and witness its evil without being affected. For that reason he gave the task to Talangar the Black. Talangar bravely steps forward and accepts the mission, going inside his fortress to witness the horrors the tape contained.
Little did he know that his constitution was still too low for the terror he was about to face. After putting the video in the VCR he gets something far different to the Lord of the Rings. Instead of the beloved epic film, he got to see men and women doing… questionable things. He saw things that should never be described in detail, by spoken nor written word. Talangar could not believe his eyes; he knew he shouldn't be looking at such images, but he couldn't look away! After a few excruciatingly long minutes he finally stopped the video and ejected it. As soon as the video came out of the VCR he took it and read the title. It read: Backdoor Sluts 9. Talangar felt sick at his stomach and ran to the bathroom to release the impurities deep inside of him. After cleansing himself, he changed off his armor and put the cursed movie back in the box.
Token walked out of his house, no longer playing around. He looked at every single one of his friends with dead eyes. Token put the video on the table and abandoned them, claiming he didn't want to play anymore. Sometime later his parents, along with several others, found him in the dining room in a traumatized state. Despite the adults' best intents, they couldn't help his soul get rid of these conflicted feelings. The poor boy had since gone to therapy for several years.
Nichole gasped at her husband's current state. Token had fallen from the couch and is now lying on the floor in a fetal position, a thousand-yard stare look on his face. Nichole, in a panic, quickly held Token and tried to calm him down. After getting him to calm down and taking him to their room to take a nap, she decided to call Token's parents and try to make sense of the situation. As soon as she explained what happened, Token's mother gasped and frantically yelled whether he was alright.
"Yeah, he's alright. Could you explain to me why this happened?" She asks, determined to help her husband with whatever his problem was.
"Dear, when Token was in fourth grade, before he met you, he was into the Lord of the Rings movies. He and his friends would dress up as characters and play outside our house. One night, the Marshes rented two movies: one being The Lord of the Rings and the other a porno called Backdoor Sluts 9.
"Long story short, the Marshes accidentally put the porno into the kids' box and they ended up showing it to Token, traumatizing him," she finishes. Nichole is astounded by this news. This is something Token never brought up or even hinted at while they were dating. Maybe he thought this type of situation would never happen, so he ignored it. Maybe he'd been repressing that memory since therapy ended. Either way, she fucked up as a wife and should apologize. After bidding farewell to Token's mother she hung up and made her way to her and Token's room.
"Hello, sweetie," she tentatively calls from behind him on the bed. He doesn't answer, so she decides to be sweet, instead of sexy. "Listen, I'm sorry about this huge mistake on my part. Had I known that you disliked porn in the first place, I wouldn't have made you go through this. I hope you can forgive me."
Token slowly turns around to face her. "It's okay; it's my fault for not telling you about it. I should have told you, but I thought you would find it weird," he reassures her.
"But you are weird, Token," she chuckles, "that's what makes me love you all the more!"
"Really?" he asks, surprised.
"Yeah, really!" she exclaims. To prove her point further, she holds his head, pulls him close and kisses him. It was a slow and passionate kiss, one that they've perfected over the years. It wasn't too chaste, but it also wasn't too sloppy. Despite not being full of desire, it was a kiss that always managed to cheer one or the other up.
"Thanks for that," Token whispers, smiling.
Nichole chuckles yet again and snuggles close to Token, enjoying his warmth. Token wraps his arms around her and gives a happy sigh. He is truly lucky to have this beautiful woman by his side.
A/N: And here was something a little different. Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review this and have a good day!