Hello, readers!

I don't know about all of you, but I've always thought that the warrior cats are extremely unlikely to go to bed quietly at sunset. Surely they'll spend at least an hour or two chatting and giggling like little girls on a sleepover.

This is my interpretation of what is most likely to happen every evening when the warriors go to their dens for the night. I hope you find this as humorous as I attempted to make it.

And before you ask, no, none of these characters have names. None of them are characters from the books. They're just nameless cats used for the purpose of the story. Clear? :)

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, but I own this story. Resemblance to other stories is unintentional.

As the sun set, a soothing quiet took over the forest. The sky slowly darkened, the prey retreated into their holes, and cats filed into their dens.

That isn't to say that the dens were actually quiet inside.

In the warriors' den...

"Ouch!" some cat yelped. "That was my tail!"

"Sorry." The voice was apologetic. "I had to make dirt."

"And step on every cat from here to Fourtrees?"

"Fourtrees…was back in the old forest."

"Exactly!"

An irritated voice sounded from the other side of the den. "You mousebrains, do I have to stuff moss in your big flapping mouths to make you shut up?"

"No," some cat muttered.

The other cat snorted. "You've probably scared away all the prey anyway."

"What prey?"

A dark head shot up from a nest. "Some cat say prey? Where?"

The cat rolled her eyes. "Go back to sleep, froghead."

A long, loud, exasperated sigh came from a pale-furred cat in the center of the den. "You young ones these days," he muttered. "No respect for your elders. Must you exchange insults all night?"

"Yes."

He groaned and buried his muzzle in the moss again.

Over in the apprentices' den…

"This is great!" a tiny cat whispered excitedly. "Mum isn't telling me to stop talking and go to sleep anymore!"

"I wish she was," another apprentice complained. "You've done nothing but talk all night."

An amused purr rumbled from the throat of the biggest apprentice in the den. "Leave her be," she chuckled. "She'll be so tired after training tomorrow, all we're going to hear all night are snores."

"Hey!" the little apprentice squeaked. "I don't snore!"

"Yes, you do," the second apprentice told her.

A loud argument began, punctuated with muttered complaints from the other apprentices.

Finally, an irritable-looking tom-cat at the edge of the den raised his head and yowled loudly, "Shut UP, you morons!"

Absolute silence ensued as the apprentice snorted and went back to sleep.

Back in the warriors' den…

The warriors went quiet as the loud yowl from the apprentices' den pealed through the air.

"Shut UP, you morons!"

For several moments, no cat so much as twitched.

Then another warrior tentatively broke the silence.

"Pity that these dens aren't soundproof."

The silence dissolved into amused purrs, before the sounds died away as the warriors settled down to sleep, hoping that nothing else would disturb them.

In the nursery…

"Mom!" a kit wailed. "I need more room!"

"You have most of the room in the nest!" the kit beside her snapped.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Kits!" a she-cat growled, glaring at the two kits nestled in the curve of her belly. "How many times do I need to tell you to settle down and be quiet?"

"You don't need to tell me," the second kit muttered rebelliously. "Tell her."

"Hey!" the other kit yowled, a bit too loudly.

"Quiet down!" their mother hissed. "Do you want to wake up every cat in camp?"

Another queen lifted her head. "Too late," she mumbled blearily, before dropping back off to sleep.

Over in the medicine den…

"Oh, for StarClan's sake," a small cat grumbled. "Those poppy seeds have already worn off?"

The larger cat beside her gave her a startled look. "You gave the kits poppy seeds?"

"What?" the smaller cat defended herself. "We had extra, and they're so loud every night! They need something to make them sleep!"

"True," the medicine cat conceded, settling back down in his nest and shutting his ears tightly.

In the elder's den…

"Need…water…" a frail, skinny cat gasped, stumbling out of his nest and making his way to the entrance of the den.

"Be careful," a smaller she-cat mumbled in her sleep as he passed her. "Don't squish the little ones."

The first cat looked at his denmate in confusion, but she had already turned over and started to snore.

The cat shrugged, shakily padding out of the den. He had hardly taken five steps away from the den when he opened his mouth and let out a loud caterwaul.

"OUCH!"

Back in the medicine den…

The medicine cat apprentice was awake in a flash. "Did you hear that?"

The medicine cat grunted. "Go treat whatever mousebrain stepped on the fresh brambles that the apprentices brought today."

His apprentice stared at him. "You're not coming?"

"No."

The apprentice snorted in exasperation, grabbing a wad of cobwebs and disappearing outside.

Over in the apprentices' den…

A small apprentice jerked awake. "Did you hear that?"

The apprentice next to her pointedly turned away and shut his ears tightly.

"What was it?" the little apprentice persisted.

An older apprentice in the center of the den moaned in annoyance. "It's probably an elder who forgot that we reinforced the den today with new brambles and got a thorn in their paw."

The little apprentice nodded thoughtfully. "Are they hurt badly?"

The apprentice across the den raised his head. "Hey, kit, do me a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

Back in the warriors' den…

"Argh," a patchy-furred tom in the middle of the den growled. "Can't those elders ever shut up?"

"You're almost an elder yourself," the she-cat next to him pointed out.

The tom shrugged. "So? I'm not in the elder's den yet, so I can complain about them until then."

A new voice piped up from the edge of the den. "You sound like an elder already, Dad."

"You know what, kit?"

"What, Daddy?"

"Stuff a mouse in it."

"Oh."

A few moments passed before the cat spoke up again.

"And by the way, Dad, I'm not a kit."

Back in the elder's den…

"Now just be careful with your paw, okay?" the small medicine apprentice soothed. "It's all wrapped and everything, and the thorn is out. Just rest it…and for StarClan's sake, be careful where you step!"

"Now, just listen here, youngster, I didn't know that there were brambles out there!"

"Yes, you did. You were watching the apprentices work on the den all day."

"Fine," the old cat griped. "But that's no excuse to be disrespectful."

"I wasn't being disrespectful, and I have the right to order you around if need be."

"And why would that be?"

"Er…I'm medicine cat apprentice."

"Oh, go away, you," the old cat muttered, turning over in his nest. "Let me sleep."

The apprentice was about to leave when his raspy voice sounded across the den.

"And get me some water while you're at it."

In the leader's den…

"They were laid-back tonight," a brown tom remarked to the she-cat beside him. "Usually they make much more noise."

The she-cat nodded, twining her tail with his.

"I know, sweetheart. It's been such a lovely, quiet night."

Hope you liked that.

Please review!

-Moongazer