AN: So here is the first chapter of a 9 – 10 chapter story, with once again songs by EVANESENCE! I hope and aspire to make it much better than the second instalment of this series and maybe better than part 1. :P Who know though, except you guys! Please enjoy Also I am truly truly sorry about the wait for this instalment. I assume most of my followers have grown out of the fanfiction as I thought I did, but perhaps like me, you'll get and e-mail from informing you that someone has followed your stories and hopes for more. Thank you to everyone who commented on the first two instalments. This will be the final one to the series. I will finish it this year, promise. Thank you.
1. Weight of the World
Why does it feel like every time I start to get into a comfortable happiness something happens to make it all go to shit?
I was depressed, then I met Nico, then the gods wanted to kill me, then they decided not to and Nico and I were together, then we weren't, then the camp got attacked, then I was friends with Zac, then we had a fight, then we took back the camp, I got back with Nico, now this!
So what happened is I was on the trip to go to mount Olympus with the rest of the full time campers. I decided to stay full time, since living in a foster home isn't really my idea of amazing fun! Anyways, when we got there I was quickly pulled aside by guess who? THE GODS! They had this big conversation with me about how they have been monitoring my growth and behaviour and had some news to inform me of. Get this; apparently I have so much godly blood in me that I am immortal.
"What do you mean I'm immortal? I have baby pictures of me when I was a child, before my mom died. I have obviously grown; it's not going to just stop all of a sudden!" I said
"Dear, it has stopped, it must have started to kick in on your seventeenth birthday because ever since then you have not aged one bit." Zeus said.
"That's impossible though. People just don't stop growing!" I protested.
"Everything is possible. We interpret that you have a significant amount more godly blood in your system than mortal, meaning that the immortality has been passed down onto you." He continued with "Since you are now immortal, you will come to live on Olympus and away from Camp Half Blood. It is better if you live with people who will never die, save you the heartbreak."
"Isn't there something you can do? I don't want to come and live on Olympus-no offence. I want to be with my friends, I want to grow old and die someday!" I said
"I'm sorry, we can only give immortality; we cannot take it away. You have a week before we come to get you."
All I could think about after that conversation was Nico. I would never grow old with him. He would die someday. But I couldn't defy the gods. I mean technically I was on probation with them, so I needed to think of something that could get me out of going to camp, to cut it off with a clean break. I needed something like that.
The next morning when I woke up Nico was looking at me. I just dropped my eyes and looked at the ground frowning.
"Hey" he said "What's up, what's wrong?"
"Nothing" I lied.
"Obviously it is something" He said
"If it is that obvious and I am not telling you it means that I don't want to talk about it!" I snapped.
"Fine" He said waving his hands up in the air.
On the way back to camp half blood Nico and I were forced to sit next to each other even though we hadn't made up yet so as you can imagine, it was very awkward.
"So…" Nico said about halfway through the trip. "What's been up lately, you have been acting weird, not just yesterday, but for the past months"
"Ummm, I think I have been acting quite normal" I answered
"No, you haven't, when was the last time you wrote a song?" He said
"Ummm the night after the battle, remember; Pressure?"
"I don't mean that type of song, that's not you! That's someone else, I want to here songs like Bring me to Life and Missing!" He yelled
"The only reason I wrote those songs is because I was depressed ok! Do you want me to make myself feel depressed again so you can here more songs like that?"
"No, I want you to be yourself, that girl last summer wasn't you!" He pleaded
"What if it was me? You can't honestly tell me that your personality has never changed; maybe that is a different phase of my life? I mean I'm only 17!"
"Well I personally think that you were just trying to fit in with the other girls, I liked you better when you acted yourself…" He said
"Well, you want me to act myself then, fine, go to Hades is what Emily or anyone else would say to someone at this point in a conversation right now!" I said
As I was saying these words I knew that when we got back to camp I would be ready to start breaking off from everyone else. Normally the gods wouldn't scare me, my rebellious side would take over my body and I would run away with Nico. However, the thought of watching all of my friends grow older wile I stay the same age, to watch them die wile I stayed my 17 year old self, it would be torture. I needed to make Nico believe that I thought I hadn't changed, even though I did. I needed him to think that I am mad at him, so he will be mad at me and move on with his mortal life, as I now have to move on with my immortal life.
"That was harsh Emily, I never thought you would act like that" Nico said finally, and then turned away silently for the rest of the ride back to camp.
When we got back to camp everything was going as normal, we were still cleaning up from the battle last summer, we had to plant all new strawberry plants because the other campers decided that they would uproot them.
I spent the entire day snapping at everyone. Glaring. No one wanted to talk to me. At supper Nico sat far away from me. I was alone. I was forgotten. Just what I wanted.
After lights out I decided to go for a walk. If I was really immortal then the harpies wouldn't hurt me. I walked through the forest up a makeshift path that was starting to regrow. It was the path of destruction I had made over two years ago. I walked up the very cliff where I forgot who I was, where I screamed in hatred and refused to be heartbroken again. Where I wanted to go under and drown myself, but I wasn't able to do that then, and even though I want is so bad I won't be able to do it today.
A twig snaps behind me. It's Nico.
"What are you doing?" He asks
"I'm reminiscing" I answer coldly
"I don't mean right now, I mean today! Why are you pushing us out!" He yells
"Because I don't belong here"
"You belong with me, you belong with us!"
"No" I say sadly.
"But without you I have nothing. Everyone leaves me Emily. Don't go." Nico pleads.
I answer with:
"You can't put all that on me. What if I am not good enough to fill the void in your chest longing for affection? That's too much pressure, it's like the weight of the world. You will find someone else. I belong alone; I don't want to be here. I don't want to be with you anymore. I did change last summer, I realized that I don't want you."
It is only then when I turn around and see the damage that is done. His face has a tortured look to it. A tear rolls down his cheek and he asks me one more time. "Stay"
I feel the pain in his heart, I feel as though I am ripping it out his chest. I fell as though I am ripping my heart out of my chest. All I can hear is the steady beat of my heart when the rush of wind fills my ears. I am tired of pretending. I am tired of the gods. And I will not rest until I know he has let me go. I start to sing:
Feels like the weight of the world,
Like God in heaven gave me a turn.
Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you.
Still in the dark, can you fix me?
Freefall, freefall, all through life. If you love me, then let go of me.
I won't be held down by who I used to be.
She's nothing to me.
The wind goes calm and I am forced to look at him. The pain on his face brings on a lightning bult.
Feels like the weight of the world, Freefall, freefall, all through life.
Like all my screaming has gone unheard.
And oh, I know you don't believe in me.
Safe in the dark, how can you see?
The wind picks up to full hurricane power.
If you love me, then let go of me.
I won't be held down by who I used to be.
The rain is falling in sheets on us.
If you love me, then let go of me If you love me, then let go of me
I won't be held down by who I was
I won't be held down by who I used to be
"I want you to die" Nico says to me and then runs away hopefully letting go of me and us.
"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" I yell up to the gods. "You never accepted me, and now I have nothing. I took everything from him, but I have NOTHING! I don't even have my identity anymore." I sink down to the ground and start sobbing even harder, the pain is too much and wish for death.
I must have passed out because when I wake up again I am on Olympus and I am alone. Just like always…