Title: Darkest Before the Dawn
Series: Viewfinder
Rating: G?
Warning(s); None really. Just spoilers I guess if you haven't read NT 18…
Summary: Feilong's thoughts about love and the past… and a certain someone.
Disclaimer: All characters found in this work of fiction belong to Yamane Ayano.
A.N.- This doesn't progress very far from where NT ends, but… I dunno. I really had my doubts about posting this and entering it. Hopefully this isn't too OOC or unbelievable. *frets* I almost tossed the whole thing in the trash. Someone who will remain unnamed nagged be about it though, so here it is.
Darkest Before the Dawn
By: shad0wg8
The leather was rough against his hand as he clutched the folder to his chest, the railing cold and unyielding. The chill from the metal seeped through his clothing and into his skin, working its way to his heart. He'd lost. Again. Something precious to him had once more slipped through his fingers, and he had been powerless to stop it. He couldn't control Asami, couldn't control anyone's heart any more than he could control the deep waters he was gazing out across.
A person's heart was much like the ocean. Deep and fathomless, even after discovering one of its secrets it still held more. No matter how much time passed, there would always be something hidden, waiting to be discovered. Give and take, ebb and flow, working its way to the shore only to foam out and be absorbed back into the churning waters. Always moving, constantly going forward, never ceasing. It adapted to change, transformed itself to stay alive. If the ocean had endured for centuries on end, surely he could overcome something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
The rolling waves lapped against the side of the ship in soft slaps as the sky darkened until it was indistinguishable from the ocean. The moonless night was broken by the lights on the far off shore, their soft radiance illuminating the rolling darkness like fireflies hovering over a pond. The wind began to pick up, tugging at Fei Long's loose hair, tossing it playfully into his serious face. He captured a few strands that had drifted into his eyes and stared at the long, glossy strands.
His father had loved him, but had been taken from him. His brother had never loved him only seen him as an obstruction; a tool to be used. He had felt something for Asami and had thought the man had felt something for him, but that man had been taken from him as well. If he was honest, he'd also found something in Akihito. It wasn't like he wanted all that much. Was it so much to ask just to be loved? A bitter chuckle slipped from him as he starred down into the gloomy waters, letting his mind return to those unpleasant memories.
His past was murky at best, and he'd been living in it too long. It weighed him down, trapping him in its suffocating redundancy. If he wanted to move forward, he'd have to let it go. But was he strong enough to do that on his own?
He pushed away from the railing and turned, not at all surprised to find Yoh still standing there, head bowed. He allowed himself to look, truly look, at the man standing before him. The man had always been a puzzle, Fei Long unable to find the missing pieces to complete the whole picture. Now those pieces had been found. He had offered no apology for his actions, only a confession. On some level, Fei Long could admire the man for his resolve, for not backing down or making excuses.
Solemn eyes rose to meet his own and he felt his lips twitch. This man… He had laid himself bare before him, knowing full well what the consequences could be. Yoh knew Fei Long, knew how he dealt with people he considered to be traitors. He had known from the beginning the cost for his actions, and still he had…
The Baishe leader could see the unspoken words in the man's eyes. His expression gave away nothing, but at that moment Fei Long could read the man like an open book. Those eyes could no longer hide from him. Here was this serious, enigmatic man, offering him the one thing he so desperately craved. Love. He knew what that emotion could do to a person, how it could twist you and consume you. Perhaps the two of them weren't so different in that respect.
He stretched his arm out, handing the man back his gun, deriving a small amount of satisfaction at the surprise and apprehension he saw in those deep chocolate eyes. The sun was just beginning to crest over the horizon, its warm glow reflecting off the rippling water.
"Are you the type of man who would do anything for love, Yoh?"