"What are we, twelve?" Mike scoffs when he reads the notice on the club house bulletin board. "Secret Santa? Really?"
"Oh, what's the harm?" Blip grins and pats his friend on the back. "Who doesn't like presents?"
"And booze." Salvi chooses that moment to join them. "Don't forget, Al's bringing booze."
Mike rolls his eyes and Blip punches him lightly on the bicep. "Scrooge Lawson isn't a fan, apparently."
Mike glares at them both before turning toward the showers. "Shut up."
"Don't you mean 'Bah humbug!'?" Blip asks as he and Salvi laugh.
Mike doesn't bother turning around but he flips them the bird as he walks away.
Mike used to like Christmas, but that was then and this is now and he had hoped he could skip all holiday celebrations this year. Maybe if he and Rachel were still back together, he'd be more interested. Or maybe if he had a shiny new World Series ring or maybe if Ginny….
But none of that is his reality and the idea of celebrating Christmas with some of his teammates does little more than give him a feeling of dread. He'd rather go to his house which is purposefully holly and ivy free, and drink by himself with ESPN as his only companion.
He's always had a grouchy streak, it's just that the streak had grown by leaps and bounds of late. He can blame the holidays all he wants to, but the truth is that he's been doing a lot more solo drinking than usual ever since the trade fell through, and his current status as anti-social grouch really isn't related to Christmas at all.
It wasn't like he'd ever been the rainbows and unicorns sort, but things have steadily grown worse since the trade fell through. And it wasn't about the trade, of course. He really didn't give a rat's ass about the Chicago Cubs. It was all about Ginny and all the 'what could have been' thoughts that were crammed into his every memory of their curbside 'moment outside of Boardner's. Even though months have passed since that 'almost kiss'; Ginny still won't let him in, no matter how hard he has tried.
He wants to ignore the ache that knowledge leaves behind, but it has been a losing battle.
Even though the off season is well under way, Petco keeps the clubhouse and gym open for any players who happen to be in town. Most of the guys aren't around. Jennings is in rehab in Arizona. Shreck is at his Mom's in Toledo. Duarte has been spending a lot of time in San Diego because of a new girlfriend, so he's in and out. Others are scattered all over, waiting for Spring Training to start. Al is the only constant at the park, coming in every day. Most of the 'locals' show up at least once a week, although gatherings are usually informal and sporadic.
And now Christmas is looming and Mike is torn about Al's Secret Santa party. He isn't in the mood to be jolly or sing carols or shop for some tchotchke that nobody wants. But he figures he might see Baker and that would be good. She probably still won't talk to him, but on the off chance she will….
He walks into Al's office. "So where do I draw a name or whatever for this party of yours?"
Al holds out a battered ball cap and smiles. "Right here, Mike."
Mike grabs a piece of paper and groans when he sees Livan's name printed on it.
"Who'd ya get?" Al asks.
"Pretty sure telling you that would take the 'secret' out of the Secret Santa." Mike shoves the piece of paper into his pocket and goes to leave, almost running face first into none other than Ginny Baker.
"Uh, hi." Mike says, hating the way his heart pounds at the sight of her. She's wearing a loose sweatshirt over Nike leggings. Her hair is damp from the showers. She smells like coconut and heaven.
Her eyes are wide with surprise. "Oh, hey Lawson. You doing this Santa thing?"
"Course he's doing it," Al says. "Even when we're not all here, Mike is still the Captain of the team. He gets to wear the Santa hat."
"That's not happening, Al."
Ginny chuckles as she glances sidelong at Mike. "Aw, come on. That might be cute, you know - with the beard, and all."
Mike's heart stutters in his chest and he suddenly wonders if he should just retire right now. How the hell is he going to finish out his final year when he cannot think straight if she's nearby? And what does she mean 'might be cute'? She hasn't talked to him in months and now she says that? He shakes his head. "I'm not going to be Santa."
"The Grinch, then?" She smirks and their eyes lock for just a moment. He'd swear there was something there, but she looks away before he can identify it.
He shakes his head again. "I'm not wearing a costume. You should all be glad I'm even showing up. I have better things to do."
"No, you don't." Al admonishes with a hearty chuckle and then he holds out the hat to Ginny. "Draw your name."
She moves past Mike to get to the outstretched hat and he feels a shudder of awareness course through him as her arm brushes his. He takes a deep breath and heads out of the office. Just before he closes the door behind him, he hears Al ask Ginny, "So, who'd ya get?"
The clubhouse looks like it's been decorated by Mrs. Claus after an egg nog bender. Most of the guys are already gathered. Mike plops down in his usual chair, gripping a wrapped gift in his hands. Blip sits down next to him. "This is nice, right?"
Mike's eyes wander. Ginny's not here. "Yeah, it's fine."
"She's not here yet," Blip says, reading Mike's thoughts.
"Whatever. Who's name did you draw?" Mike nods to the gift bag by Blip's chair.
"Al. Got him a bottle of Scotch."
Mike shrugs. "Good choice."
"Who's name did you get?"
"Livan's. Had one of his baseball cards blown up and framed. Figure he'll hang it over his fireplace."
Blip chuckles. "Yeah, that's a good one."
Soon everyone is present – including Ginny, who is leaning against the far wall talking to Buck.
Al kicks things off by handing out gift cards to all the players. After that the secret Santas are revealed. Buck goes first, handing Blip an autographed baseball.
Blip squints at the ball. "Who signed this?"
Buck cackles. "I did. Bout five minutes ago. You're welcome."
Omar gets a gift certificate to a steak house from one of the relief pitchers.
Butch opens his gift to find an ugly Christmas sweater that features a rather evil looking Rudolph on the front.
Ginny gets a bottle of perfume from Al. She grins at him. "Thanks. I love it."
Stubbs gets a tub of moisturizer from Sonny and Sonny gets a life size blow up doll from Stubbs.
The new shortstop gives Salvi a retro Padres bobble head.
Mike gives Livan the framed picture of himself which the younger man sincerely seems to like. Mike shakes his head and laughs.
"Who still doesn't have a gift?" Blip asks the room.
Mike raises a hand and points at his own head. "This guy." He smiles a little, finally getting into the spirit of the event. Everyone is happy and it's starting to rub off on him. He leans over to say something to Blip about maybe this isn't so bad after all, when he hears a thump.
Glancing down, he sees a large gift bag – a bag which Ginny Baker has dropped at his feet. She shrugs. "I picked your name, Old Man."
Her teasing tone reminds him of the way she'd been in Al's office the other day - a lot like she had been before Boardner's. He misses that Ginny. Misses her smile and her laugh and her sense of humor. He misses the way she smells and hums and... Hell. He misses everything. Mike holds her gaze, wondering to what (or who) he owes this shift in her demeanor. He nods toward the bag. "It's full of Geritol and Icy Hot, isn't it?"
She shakes her head no. "Just open it."
He pulls out some tissue paper and stares into the bag with confusion. "Coasters?" He digs deeper into the bag. "There are like a hundred bar coasters here."
Blip looks up at Ginny. "I don't get it."
"Neither do –" Mike breaks off as he picks one of the coasters up and really looks at it. Emblazoned on one side is the logo for Boardner's. He flips a few more over. Every single coaster is from the same bar.
Their bar.
"Dump em out. See if anything else is in there," Blip suggests.
Mike's palms are sweaty as he does exactly that. "Nope. Just coasters."
"Well, you do like to drink." Blip shrugs doubtfully. "Now, your furniture won't suffer, I guess."
"That's a dumb gift, Mami." Livan shakes his head sadly. You should have given Mike a nice gift like he gave me.
"A picture of you?"
Livan nods proudly. "Best gift ever."
Mike picks up the bag and is ready to start tossing the mountain of coasters back inside when he sees it. Something is written on the bottom of the inside of the bag. Mike squints at the black magic marker. It simply says "10pm". Mike schools his features and looks up at Ginny. Her expression is oddly vulnerable and he chooses his words carefully. "It's not a dumb gift, Livan. It's perfect."
Ginny smiles with relief when she sees that he understands. Shortly afterward, she makes some excuse for not joining the guys for drinks. Mike waits a few minutes before doing the same. He has his things and is almost out the door when Blip stops him. What did it say?"
"What did what say?"
"Don't play coy with me. There was some secret message or something in that bag, right? You guys gonna start talking again?"
Mike runs a hand through his hair and answers honestly. "I have no idea."
When the clock strikes ten, Mike is sitting at the bar in Boardner's. He's sitting in exactly the same place as last time she'd met him here. He doesn't want to get his hopes up, but this feels like something.
Maybe something big.
He hears the bells and waits a beat before turning to look at the entrance. She's standing there watching him, her eyes are wide and her smile is tentative. She's wearing the dress – the same black dress as last time. He isn't the kind of guy who usually pays attention to such things, but he's had that whole night playing on repeat in his head for months and he knows that dress.
And just like last time, Ginny is stunning. She walks toward him, never breaking eye contact.
When she gets close, he nods at the bar. "I ordered you a drink but they don't have any coasters. Someone swiped em."
She grins. "Maybe someone needed to make a statement."
"About that, Rook. What is the statement, exactly? I just want to make sure I don't misunderstand."
Ginny slides into the bar stool beside Mike's. "You know I told you once that we'd talk when I was ready?"
His gaze bores into hers. "Yeah. You also said we couldn't have that talk while we were still teammates. Unless you know something I don't, we are still going to be Padres when the season starts."
Ginny takes a drink and sets the glass down carefully. She runs a fingertip slowly around the rim, watching her finger move in leisurely circles. "I don't think I can keep playing with you if something doesn't change."
"And what does that mean? I'm not leaving until I retire."
"Yeah, I know. And I'm not leaving either."
"So if the teammate thing isn't changing, what is?"
She takes a deep breath and looks his way. "It's been a lot harder than I thought – acting like that night didn't happen. It's been distracting and disorienting." Ginny swivels slightly on her bar stool to face him head on. "I've thought about this a lot, and I think that it's my rule that needs to change."
Mike's pulse begins to pound. "Your rule about dating players?"
"Pretty sure that's the rule that's been an issue." She flashes him an uncertain smile. "I mean, if you are still interested. You came here tonight, so I thought…"
"Don't be an idiot, Baker. You know I'm interested."
Her smile is slow but grows wide. Her dimples flash. "Good. That's good."
"So are you lifting the rule for all players or just me?" He smirks, relief evident in his expression.
"God, you can be an asshole." She laughs. "Just you."
"That's a relief." They smile dumbly at each other for a little while, just enjoying the change in the air.
Finally Mike speaks. "I don't want to take away from the moment, or whatever, but how do you see this working?" Mike reaches over and places a hand on hers. Gently, he squeezes her fingers. "Whether or not you lift your rule, I don't think the Padres are going to be on board with us being more than teammates."
"Well, about that –"
"I'm listening."
"I didn't actually pick your name in the Secret Santa exchange."
"What?" He shakes his head, lost in this change of topic. "What are you talking about?"
"The whole Christmas party thing was my idea. Al helped me." She bites her lip nervously, waiting for his reply.
"What do you mean 'the whole thing'?"
"All of it. I asked for the exchange. I made sure I got your name. I even decorated the club house –"
Mike barks out a laugh. "Remind me to never, ever let you decorate my house."
"Funny." She rolls her eyes.
"So how did you get Al to agree to all this?"
Ginny takes another sip of her beer before answering. "When I was in rehab, Al visited a lot. His daughter had just moved away and I think he was kind of sad. Started coming to see me just about every day." She turns to Mike. "Did you know that?"
"No. You weren't real receptive to my being there when I tried to visit in the beginning, so I didn't really stick around. I figured it was that computer guy who you wanted with you."
"At first, I thought so too." She takes another sip. "It was Al who said he couldn't trust a guy who didn't like baseball and wondered why I was with him."
"Al's a smart guy." Mike chuckles.
"Yeah, well – he couldn't leave it alone. Kept asking why I was seeing Noah."
"And what did you say?"
"I just brushed him off for a long time, but then there was this one day when I was in a lot of pain after some intense PT." She stares at her hands which are clasped on the bar. "I had finally agreed to take some of those pain killers I hated because they always messed me up. Anyway, I was sort of out of it and – "
"And what?"
"I told Al everything."
"Define 'everything'?" Mike prods.
She isn't ready to look up and talks to her hands. "Told him that I liked Noah, but really only as a friend. Told him that being with Noah kept my mind off of someone else. Told him that the someone else was you. Told him I was kind of crazy about you, but knew it would never work."
Mike swallows hard. "You said you were crazy about me? To Al?"
"Yeah. Is that okay? I don't mean the Al part. I mean the crazy part? I know you and Rachel broke up but you never said how you felt about that."
"If you had asked, I'd have told you. Giving me the cold shoulder for months didn't exactly leave me a lot of opportunities to spill my guts."
She worries her lower lip with her teeth. "Sorry about that. I really am."
"It's okay. And you are definitely not the only crazy one, Gin." His eyes sparkle and his cheeks are flushed. "Rachel was a mistake and it didn't take us both long to figure that out. She knew my head was somewhere else."
"Yeah?" Ginny nods, relieved. "Good."
"So what did Al say when you told him all that stuff?"
"Said to stop being a pussy and then he apologized for like ten minutes for being a sexist." Ginny grins fondly. "Then he told me that if I really wanted something, I should go for it. He told me about meeting his wife. Said he didn't figure she'd be interested in the beginning but that he never regretted finding out."
"Wow."
"You know what else he said?"
Mike shakes his head no. "What?"
"Said 'and at least we know Lawson likes baseball'."
Mike laughs and Ginny laughs with him. Months of tension seem to fade as a long denied attraction pushes into the forefront. Mike reaches out and puts his hand on hers. "Are you saying that Al is on board with – whatever this might be?"
"Yeah. Well, he said it's probably a terrible idea and that he'd better never catch us doing anything stupid in his club house, but he also said that it probably can't be worse than the way things have been between us since the trade fell through."
"He noticed?"
She raises an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure everyone noticed. I've been a wreck and you've been well, more you than usual. Blip and Evelyn grill me at least once a week, asking if I've talked to you yet. Makes me wish I hadn't moved into their spare room."
Mike starts to answer but a crowd of college kids come into the bar just then, drunkenly singing Last Christmas as loudly as they can.
Ginny grips Mike's hand tightly. "Hey?"
He leans in closer, his gaze lowering to her lips. "Yeah?"
"Let's call a car."
Mike's mouth is dry as he begins to realize everything he wants might just be coming reality. "Just one car?"
"Do you think we need more than one?" Her voice is breathy.
Mike waits for a beat, searching her liquid brown eyes for confirmation that this is really what she wants. She watches him and smiles. Her smile melts any remaining doubt he'd had. "Just the one car will be enough, but I'm not taking you to Blip's. I know you live there, but - "
She laughs, her hand running up his arm. She feels him shiver under her touch. "Thank God," she laughs. "That would be a terrible idea."
He nods to the door. "Let's go."
They stand together without letting go of each other's hands. They've only taken a couple of steps when Ginny frowns and stops. "Wait, there is just one other thing we need to do before we leave."
"What?"
She reaches into his pocket with her free hand and removes his phone, quickly powering it down. "No interruptions tonight."
He grins at her, leaning in to brush his lips softly against hers. It is the briefest of touches but it sends sparks shooting down his spine. "Does this mean we're done talking?"
"So done." She sucks his bottom lip between her teeth and smiles against his mouth when he gasps.
Mike wraps an arm around her waist. "You know I wasn't very excited about the holidays this year, but your Secret Santa idea has turned out all right."
"Does this mean you'll wear the hat later?" Ginny asks with a flirty grin.
"Don't push your luck, Rookie."
Ginny grabs his hand and drags him toward the door, glancing over her shoulder as she goes. "I bet before the night is over, you'll be wearing the Santa hat and nothing else, Old Man."
Mike tries to argue, but his heart isn't in it. He knows he won't be able to say no to her. Not tonight. Probably not ever. This beautiful, amazing woman holds his heart in her very capable hands.
If Ginny Baker wants him in nothing but a Santa Hat, then that's what she's gonna get.
**End**
A/N: No beta because this is a Christmas fic and there is less than three hours left of Christmas (where I live anyway). I took serious liberties with the way a team might work in the off-season. Just go with it, eh? No, there won't be a chapter two, but I am working on the final chap of Little Earthquakes (and chap 8 of Taken for any of my Charloe friends), so you'll see more from me soon. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!