Collateral Damage

Based on a screenplay by Morgan Wable-Keene © 2016, Suspension Digital; Thor is based on characters from the Marvel Comic Book. Thor is owned by Marvel Comics and Disney, and I claim no ownership of any characters from that series

Two men were sitting at an outdoor café, waiting to get their drinks. The first man is wearing a black jacket and sunglasses (his name is Morgan). The other man is wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt and had blond hair and blue eyes.

"So why do superheroes need Secret Identities?" Morgan asked, waving around his coffee cup. "I just don't get it."

"Everyone is entitled to their privacy," said the second man.

"Yeah, everyone is entitled to their privacy, but nobody else has a secret identity," said Morgan. "I think that is ridiculous."

"Well most people don't have super-powered...weirdos coming after them," said the second man, who was calling himself Matt.

"Look, my point is," started Morgan, but the waitress came by.

"Here's your coffee," said the waitress. She went to pour Morgan's coffee as Matt chugs his drink in one long gulp.

"More, please," he said as he slammed the mug onto the table. She poured him another, and warned him to be careful. Morgan gave Matt an odd look.

"I'm paying," said Matt.

"Alright, but my point is that superheroes are a liability," said Morgan, continuing on with the conversation. "Shouldn't people know who they are?"

"Why?" asked Matt.

"If you break stuff, you get held accountable," said Morgan. "The Hulk smashes your car,"

"He's liable to do that," muttered Matt, interrupting Morgan.

"Who do you sue? The Hulk? Good luck with that," he laughed cynically, as he noticed a car flying through the air in the background, and things exploding.

People in the background were screaming.

"See, look, they're at it again!" said Morgan. "See what I mean? What do you do about that?" he said, motioning to the action down the street.

"There's not that much you can do about that," said Matt. "I mean, part of being a superhero is that you try to avoid the collateral damage."

Morgan looked like he was getting ready for a big rant as he said, "Collateral Damage? Collateral Damage? Are you kidding me? Do you know how much collateral damage I had to pay for, out of pocket?"

"What?" asked Matt.

"To replace every single pane of glass on the north-facing side of my house?" Morgan finished.

The waitress came over. "Can I get you some more coffee?" she asked.

As the conversation was getting to be a little uncomfortable, Matt just asked for the check.

"Together or separate?" asked the waitress.

"Just the one," answered Morgan. After the waitress walked away, he continued, "There has to be some kind of accountability."

"Well, you can have that without everyone knowing who you are," said Matt. "That's just a recipe for disaster."

"Well, maybe," said Morgan as the waitress came back with the check. She put it in front of Morgan, who pushed it over to Matt.

"That's between you guys; have a nice day," she said, walking away.

It was as Matt patted down his pants to try and find his wallet that he realised he'd made a large mistake.

"Oh, I left my wallet on my keychain," he said. Morgan just put his hand on over his eyes in a WTF gesture.

"Are you kidding me?" Morgan asked. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Oh, wait a sec," Matt said as he extended his arm. After a few seconds Mjölnir, the mighty Thor's Hammer, came to his hand. Unfortunately, it hit a street light on the way. Morgan takes off his sunglasses as he stares at the hammer in shock.

Matt takes his card out of the wallet that was attached to the keychain on the Hammer, and puts in on the check. He looked at the streetlight His Hammer hit, made a dismissive gesture and said, "I'll pay for that."

As the waitress was running the card through the machine, the newly-revealed Thor took a cell phone out of his pocket and dialled a number.

"Hello, is this the Department of Public Works? Matt Odinson here. There's a street sign that I'd like to pay for near that café on 54th Street."

OMAKE: The full phone call

"Hello, is this the Department of Public Works" asked Thor.

"Yes, it is, how might I help you?" said the woman on the other line.

"Matt Odinson here," he replied, and she groaned. It almost sounded like she said, "Not again!"

"What happened this time, Mr Odinson?" she asked him.

"There's a street sign that I'd like to pay for near that café on 54th Street," he said. "The card is under Jake Olson, it's a MasterCard number 5209 4986 3890 1540 Security Code: 523, Expiry: 04/20."

"I'll put that through, Sir, thank you for paying," said the PWD clerk.

A/N:

An "omake" is an extra not necessarily in the same 'canon' as the rest of the story. I got the credit card number for the OMAKE from a website that generates numbers for testing purposes.