DO NOT OPEN TIL X-MAS.
Draco stared at the label on the large box, trying to decide if it meant next Christmas, or was terminally late for last month's festivities. From the profusion of stamps and official seals, it looked as if it had been routed through at least five continents, including Antarctica, and twenty or more countries. Who would send a package to Hogwarts via South America and Australia?
He checked the return address. And blinked.
Do not return.
Someone had sent a Christmas present for him from the other side of the world and didn't want it back. Intriguing.
Deciding that caution would be the best measure, he picked up his wand and retreated to the far side of the empty dormitory.
"Aperi!"
The heavy lid of the wooden chest slowly flipped itself open, swinging on its hinges against the rough exterior with a clunk. Some sort of packing material, pink and fluffy, was visible, but that was all. Breathing a sigh that he refused to admit had anything to do with relief, Draco inched across the room until he stood above the box, peering in. More pink fluffiness.
Cautiously, he reached a hand down into the packaging and groped around. It shortly came in contact with something that, while still fuzzy, felt more solid than the pinkness. A sweater, maybe? But the box was far too big. Curious, he reached with his other arm as well.
Within a half moment, a loud, terrifying sound that could only be described as SQUEE issued forth from the box and the packing material began to shift. Draco, frozen with terror, found himself staring into the face of a girl with a maniacal glint in her eyes.
"What," he asked once he caught his wits again. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Draco!!" squealed the girl. He realized quite suddenly that he was still grasping her arms and pulled his hands hastily back.
Nervous, he began backing away quickly.
"Oh, Draco! I brought you some Christmas presents." The girl dived back into the trunk before emerging all the way, shedding pink everywhere and her arms full. She reverently walked over to his bed - by Merlin, how'd she know which one was mine?? - and dropped the armload. That was when he noticed the nametag on the front of her red fuzzy sweater.
Hello. My name is Ari. I need a good home.
"Let's see, what first?" muttered Ari, shifting through the pile. "Oh my!" A fit of giggles followed and, when she turned to face him again, her face was flushed to match the sweater. She held out a paper fan.
"What is that for?" asked Draco, morbidly fascinated.
"You can hit me with it."
"I can what, again?" he asked delicately. He knew the Malfoys had a poor reputation, but honestly.
"Please???" she begged.
Not wanting to disappoint an obviously adoring, if somewhat terrifying, admirer, he reached out a careful hand and accepted the fan between his thumb and forefinger.
Ari let loose another resounding squee.
"Oh, wait!" She dug into the pile and then came at him, arms outstretched.
She was holding something that looked like leather trousers.
Oh no. No way. Never.
"What's going on?" asked Goyle, on the other side of the sixth year boys' dormitory door.
"Draco's wearing leather," grunted Crabbe, sticking out his tongue in concentration. "And trying to fend the girl-thing off with a paper fan."
"Why?"
"Don't know."
"Oh."
The two stood in uncomprehending dumbfoundment - fairly normal for them - watching their fearless leader.
"What now?" Draco asked wearily as Ari returned with yet another item from her seemingly endless pile.
She smiled and showed him, stalking nearer all the while.
It was pink, it was fuzzy, and it had bunny ears.
"Oh bloody hell."
~
NB: Okay, so there are a few of you who have read all of these Arifics from Fluffy!Draco onward* (I love you, I really do). So I thought it was time for a little bit of a back-story. Ari is actually a real person - or, at least, she seems to think she's real. She throws things at me a lot. Anyhow. She is, quite obviously, a big fan of Draco and, so far as I'm concerned, the most fangirlish person I've ever met. Good thing or bad? I leave that up to you. Her next adventure actually skips fandoms from Harry Potter to Saiyuki, so you'll have to follow her if you want to see what sort of mischief she manages over there. Meanwhile, if you don't believe me, she posts her own little fangirl etcetera rants at livejournal, user ari_hime (Since ff.net doesn't support in-fic links or even allow the distribution of links within a fic, I've put the link on my author page if you're interested.)
Thanks again for reading. If you have any ideas, comments, or would just like to tell me I'm insane (though I assure you that plenty of people do that daily) review!
* The series - which can be read in any order and has no continuous plot - consists of Fluffy!Draco, Spearfishing, Hag, and now The Christmas Present.