Ok, this is going to be a tad complicated, but I've always wanted to write a sort of "parallel universe" story, with the same character during the same time and place, but are different "would have beens", so their lives are not exactly the same. This one features one of my favorite characters, Presea, whose nature fits perfectly for her role in this story. There are only two universes in this story, so it shouldn't get too complicated…I hope…

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

Warnings: Spoilers!

Still Trapped In This Darkness

Cold. After the initial shock of being splashed by Lloyd, Presea felt a wave of cold wash over her and the sensation of water running down her arms and seeping through her clothing. With the taste of salt on her lips and the feel of a healthy ocean breeze running through her hair, the pink haired ax-wielder leaned out of the washtub to dip her hand in the water. Then, with and expert flick, she sent a shower of little drops of water right into Lloyd's eyes, catching him off guard.

"Ouch!" he yelped, momentarily blinded. Presea took advantage of her paddling partner's moment of weakness to reach over and snatch the slab of wood he had been carving on.

"Now I wonder what Lloyd Irving could possibly have been carving all morning. Must be something important, mmm?" Presea teased as Lloyd made a wild scramble to grab it back from her. Then, with an all-knowing groan, the young brown-haired swordsman sat down, throwing his hands up in defeat. Presea could get anything she wanted from him with those smiles. She was so lighthearted and happy these days…and he would do anything to keep it that way.

Presea eyed the carving, her forehead scrunched up in thought. She seemed puzzled by it, turning it one way, then the other, as if trying to figure out what was carved there. Lloyd laughed and leaned over to adjust it so that it was right side up. Presea's eyes cleared.

"Oh...it's Sheena, isn't it? I'd recognize that face anywhere…" her voice was as steady as she could make it, but Lloyd noticed a change in Presea's tone.

"Presea, what is it? Something has been bothering you for quite some time now…" he said gently, looking more concerned than he should be, in Presea's opinion. If he knew the real reasons behind her upset, he wouldn't be this way…

Flashback –

"Wow, Presea, you and Lloyd really spiffed this place up for the Christmas party!" said Genis wonderingly, walking over to Presea's seat beside the great pine tree that had been brought in for decorating. He smiled warmly at her, his cheeks tinged a light pink. Nearby a fire crackled in the fireplace, pooling them in its heat, so Presea did not think overmuch of Genis's complexion.

The sage siblings had been the first to arrive, Raine dragging Linar in her wake. It was obvious who was the head of their relationship. They were almost amusing sometimes…other times their odd behavior puzzled Presea. Raine was giggling and nudging Linar a great deal, obviously telling Lloyd about one of their latest escapades in the Asgard Ruin.

"Is this how all couples act?" mused Presea, ignoring Genis's compliment, but not on purpose. She had been zoning out a great deal lately. It was because of these strange headaches she'd been having, but Lloyd had brushed them off as trivial occurrences. Dirk had given her some hot cocoa and advised her to get some rest, but she had a suspicion that it wasn't quite so simple. But still, it was good to feel cared for.

After the two worlds had been reunited, and the different heroes had all gone their separate ways, Presea had had nowhere to live. Ozette was in ashes…and she had no remaining family. Regal had offered to find her housing arrangements, but she had felt more comfortable accepting Lloyd's offer of residence. Iselia reminded her so much of her old home…and then there was Lloyd.

Lloyd, who had offered her the chance to grow up, to never be alone again, to always have a friend by her side who cared, that was what most drew her there. Presea couldn't quite explain it, but whenever she looked at Raine and Linar, and then thought of herself and Lloyd, her heart beat more rapidly than normal. Was this what it was like to like someone? Being around Lloyd made her feel safer and happier than she had in a long time.

Genis was blushing in all sincerity now, "I…well, it all depends on the people…Pr…Presea. I guess each couple acts differently. I mean…if you wanted to act that way you could, but it's whatever you feel the best with. When you find someone you like, I doubt it matters…" He was cut off by the dramatic arrival of Zelos, followed closely by Regal, and then Sheena and Colette, arm in arm, and singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" with much gusto.

"Greetings, bumpkins, it is I, the great Zelos Wilder, here to officially start the party!" Zelos announced, barging through the door with an armful of mistletoe, "Now, if you'll let me hang a few of these…" Mercifully, Sheena was able to hit Zelos over the head before he initiated his plan.

"Presea! Hey, it's so great to see you again!" called Colette, rushing over to give Presea a hug, and then Genis, and onto Raine. She had just come back from a trip to Mizuho and had stayed with Sheena for a few weeks, and was delighted to reacquaint with her friends. Privately, Presea had enjoyed her time alone with Lloyd while Colette was gone, but she was still happy to see the bubbly blonde haired girl. Generally, the room quieted down, and Raine prepared to address everyone.

"I have an announcement to make," she began, linking arms with Linar, her face practically glowing. Genis snorted into his punch, knowing what was coming.

"Linar and I have dug up some very exciting new findings while exploring the tunnels in the sides of the mountain at Asgard!" she shrieked happily and threw her arms around Linar, kissing him on the cheek. Genis choked on his punch and Linar looked bewildered.

"But I thought…" Genis began, exchanging glances with the blue haired man at Raine's side. Linar shrugged helplessly. Raine eyed their exchange with a raised eyebrow, then sighed, slightly exasperated.

"Oh, and we're getting married," she added as an afterthought, as though to appease the two. Linar shrunk down, trying to look as small as possible. Genis just rolled his eyes as the whole room roared their approval.

"Aww…that is so cute!" Colette squealed. Lloyd gave Linar the thumbs up sign,

"I'm sorry things didn't work out, Raine," Zelos casually interceded, but didn't get much farther. Someone had tactfully thrown a kendama at his head to shut him up. Presea shook her head. If not for Lloyd, she would have given up on the human race a long time ago…

Then food was served, and everyone was relaxed, standing around, talking and eating. Presea stood up, wanting to go congratulate Raine personally, but she would never make it that far. Time is a funny thing. In all the important moments in stories, time slows down for the character, but for Presea it speeded up. The scene that unraveled came through in a blur.

It was later, and the room was rather warm and stuffy. Certain people had had too much to drink…Presea swore that when she was physically of drinking age (for in reality she was much older than she appeared) she would not have such a high alcohol intake…if any at all.

Lloyd was leaning on the railing of the stairway, talking to Sheena. She was looking dreamily up at the ceiling, and then suddenly interrupted him, pointing towards a lone sprig of mistletoe that Zelos had managed to sneak up when no one was looking. Lloyd did not seem to understand until Sheena leaned towards him and kissed him. When she pulled away, Lloyd was blushing furiously. Presea's mind whirled. Time was moving way to fast for her to fully comprehend everything, as she stood frozen, trying to tear her eyes away from the unwanted sight. Sheena had kissed Lloyd and Lloyd was blushing. Zelos whooped. Genis laughed.

As her senses returned to her, Presea tried to make an unnoticed exit from the house. She needed to get outside, away, away from this nightmare…but she couldn't. Genis had somehow popped up in front of her, grinning exuberantly. Merriment began to fade from his eyes when he saw her expression.

"Presea, are you ok?" he asked, reaching out to her. Presea shook her friend off a little more vigorously than she had intended. Genis looked shocked and hurt, making her instantly feel guilty.

"I…I'm sorry, I need some fresh air…" Presea replied softly, brushing past him and out, into the night. She would just go over and sit on the bench for a little bit, regain her senses…but a wave of dizziness swept over and suddenly the work grew dark and she was falling, falling…

"Presea…" A voice pierced through the darkness, but it seemed very, very far away…had Genis followed her outside?

"Presea!" the voice was louder now, only it wasn't Genis, it was… Presea blinked once. Twice.

"Lloyd?" she asked, trying to sit up. He was standing over her looking worried. Then she realized that she was not sitting in the washtub as she had been, but rather lying in the sand. Her headache was receding now, and she could think more clearly. Lloyd breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"I was so afraid about you there, you totally spaced out and then sort of...convulsed, and then you collapsed…You didn't have another one of your headaches, did you?" Lloyd asked, looking at her with such concern that Presea could not bear to look him in the eyes. They were slightly red, she noticed, but then, she had flicked seawater into them earlier…

"Yes…" Presea responded, slowly bringing herself into a sitting position, rubbing the back of her head. Lloyd's eyes narrowed.

"You look as if you are used to this. They haven't been happening more often lately, have they?" he asked, his voice now slightly demanding, and not quite as dripping with fear as it had been.

"I…no…I mean…" Presea stumbled. Lloyd reached out and tilted her head up so that she was forced to look at him.

"You're lying, it's getting worse! And you can't even talk to me about it, can you? Damnit, when did all this happen? Just months ago it was fine, and now, when you are hurt, you're hiding it from me? I don't understand it!" he said, with a touch of anger and frustration in his voice. Presea tried to look away, but Lloyd held her chin firm, "Presea, I thought we were friends…I thought we could trust each other with things like this… I want to help you."

Presea opened her mouth and closed it, unable to speak. She hadn't been able to put her full trust in anyone since her experience with the Cruxis Crystal, though she'd wanted desperately to. Especially Lloyd. But Presea was afraid to bare her soul to anyone. She feared that she would only be hurt more than she had been.

I am afraid to love…

Even though it was love she needed the most right now.

Cold. After the initial shock of being knocked into the sewage by Genis, Presea felt a wave of nausea wash over her and the sensation of the sloppy remainders of someone's breakfast running down her arms and seeping into her clothing. With the taste of rotten fruit on her lips and the squelch of her own footsteps out of the muck ringing in her ears, the pink haired ax-wielder leaned down to dip her head in the semi-solid, semi-liquid stuff. Then, with and expert flick, she sent bits of the waste and trash right into Genis's eyes, catching him off guard.

But Genis wasn't there. Presea was alone in the sewers of Meltokio again. Maybe she had imagined him there in the first place. Or maybe it was just the rats playing tricks on her. Though, there were other dark souls down here under the earth that were more likely to be toying with Presea this way. She could hear their voices at night when she curled up in her little corner and tried her best to sleep, though when she slept, the nightmares came. The nightmares of the day Genis died… No, of when she murdered him.

Flashback –

"Genis! No! Wait! Don't die!" Lloyd yelled, frantically scrambling down the side of the hill to where his friend lay. In the background, someone was screaming. Colette… Presea couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe.

"I killed him, I killed him…" she kept muttering over and over. "I just pushed him off and I killed him…" Suddenly a hand crashed down on Presea's shoulder, spinning her to face her. Raine, half-hysterical, was screaming, almost senselessly.

"You killed him! You killed my brother! You traitor!" the half elven teacher lunged at Presea, but was restrained by a shocked looking Sheena.

"No Raine, don't she doesn't realize what she's done, she didn't mean to, please don't do something you'll regret, Raine…" Sheena clung to her former companion with all her remaining strength, her eyes red and puffy, her face wet with tears. Colette flew down after Lloyd, but it was already too late. Genis was already dead.

Presea trudged to higher ground where it wasn't so dirty and tried to wipe the worst of the grime off her body. Her hair was dark and matted, her body small and weak from lack of nutrition…but it was her punishment. Turning to the bones of a dead rate beside her, Presea began to talk, in a cracked, half-crazy voice.

"You offered me a place in your home, Lloyd, but I couldn't bear it there. It was too much like Ozette…too much like my past. All the ill I've done…I couldn't bear to taint your life with it. And yet, in the end I did, didn't I? The voices were much softer then, but I knew well enough that you would abandon me just like everyone else. Yes, I killed Genis. I murdered your best friend. I would have killed everyone one by one, so that they could never hurt me again, the voices told me so, and I knew if I could manage it then the headaches would stop. But when you came to me, for one moment, I felt a different pain. Guilt. I almost regretted killing one who you held dear and fled. I will never pay for my sins, so now I remain here in the darkness. I am Presea, one of the lost ones."

The bones did not answer, for sure, but Presea seemed to have heard something inaudible, and responded. She reached out a hand and gently stroked the bones, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

I was afraid to love.

Even though it was love she had needed the most back then.

No, the second half is not a look into the future. These are separate existences, going on simultaneously. I don't really no how I got this idea. The second Presea may seem out of character, but she is delusional and has been living in the sewers for months, having been haunted by voices for even longer. This is more of a setup to the story – the next chapters will delve more into what is actually going on. –shifty eyes- So, let me know what you think. Reviews are nice. Flames cook my dinner. Constructive criticism is always welcome.