A/N: This is the sequel to Love Like Winter, so read that first or you'll be totally lost. The title of the story and the song lyric comes from "I Know You're Lonely" by Test Your Reflex. Oh- and I wanted to say thanks for everyone who reviews or favorites, etc. because it makes me feel appreciated… haha. Raven's POV

Hello stranger/we haven't spoke in a while

I've started over. I have a new life, in a new town, and I never think about- well, never mind. I'm living in a small town tucked into the Appalachians of Maryland, small and isolated enough that here no one had heard of the Teen Titans, and I can be Raven the civilian as opposed to Raven the hero. I'm working as a librarian, for I still had a slight attachment to books.

Slight, being the operating word. I've been mostly successful in the banishment of my emotions, but not entirely. Sometimes they will spring unbidden from me when I dream of him, or when something reminds me of him, and then I cannot completely hold back the rushing flood of the pain and the loss. I drain it, and then forget, promising myself that next time, next time I will be stronger and when I was reminded, I would not be overwhelmed. Next time was never different.

I've become very good at lying to myself, deluding myself into thinking that it doesn't matter and that my lack of outward emotion means that I've forgotten. Far from it- my lack of emotion is a defense mechanism to try and just make the pain go away. For the wound does not shrink as time goes on. I block it from my mind, deny its existence, but when I am forced to acknowledge it, it is as sharp and terrible a sorrow as it had been when I first realized he was never coming home.

I do not sleep, not anymore. It's simply not in my best interest. The dreams and nightmares of him that frequent my sleep are not worth the sweet blackness. I cannot stand those dreams. There are the teasing ones, where I would dream that he had returned and awake to see it was all a lie. There are the horrible ones, where I was witness to his death, usually terrible and painful, and he would cry out to me but no matter how much I struggled and fought I could not reach him, could not alleviate the pain or stop the inevitable death. Rather, I meditate, and that relieves much of the need for sleep.

It was an early spring day, March, to be exact. The trees were just beginning to bud but the morning air was still cool and crisp, a faint reminder of the winter not long passed. I sat on the porch of my house, an old Victorian that I got for almost nothing because it was so worn down. It was an easy fix-up with my powers, though, and somehow familiar. I was up early, watching the sunrise, drinking a cup of tea. I wrapped my cardigan closer around me as the breeze blew through my hair.

The birds were chirping their songs and I tamped down the urge to throw the mug at them and scream. No. I reminded myself. The only way you'll ever be free from this pain is to stop feeling. Breathe in, breathe out. I sighed and let go of the emotion. I looked at my watch. Cyborg was coming to visit today. He was the only one of the old team who would still talk to me at all. He said that he had to do the "big brother thing" and check on me. I didn't care. If it didn't have any negative effect on me, then there was no reason to refuse it.

"Hey Raven."

"Cyborg. Good morning."

He walked up the porch stairs and sat down in a chair next to me. "This is a nice town you're in here."

"Yes." I agreed "It works."

"So," he leaned back in his chair. "how've you been?"

"Tolerable." I said, my voice a monotone. He noted silently that this monotone had even less emotion than the monotone she had used when she was still with the Titans.

"This thing, with Robin," I bit her lip and looked down, trying to block everything out and concentrate on what Cyborg was saying. "It's been hard on all of us. I know some people have said that you didn't really care but I think you've taken it as hard as any of us."

"You and Robin were very close, I know, and-"

"Yes, we were." My voice was clipped and precise, struggling to keep out any traces of emotion.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "You know, it's okay to talk about it if you want to."

"I don't."

"Why not?"

I turned away. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

We both sat there for a moment or two. I did not want to think about this, much less verbalize it some kind of summary or explanation.

"You know, Raven, it's also okay to allow yourself to feel about this."

I jumped and whirled to face him before I could think, my fists clenching at my sides. "No! It's not okay to talk about it! It's not okay to feel about it! I- I can't!" I slumped back down in my chair, covering my face with my hands, shocked at how easily my control was broken, how tenuous my grip was on life.

After a pause, he said, his voice low, "The two of you, you were together, weren't you?"

I said nothing, just shaking my head, unable to speak for fear of my lack of control.

Cyborg put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Raven." I sat there, trying to hold back the sobs again, until finally I felt ready to speak.

"How did you know?"

He sighed. "Well, I suspected it vaguely before all the stuff with Trigon-" he paused, most likely to gauge my reaction at the name, but it no longer bothered me, "but afterwards I was pretty certain. I was going to talk to him about it when he got back, but… well, you know."

I stood, looking at the sky. "I've never cared… so much..." I stopped, my voice cracking too much for my liking. I lowered my eyes. "Thanks. I need to go to work. I'll let you in the house. You can hang out there or explore the town or whatever you want to do."

"Alright. And Raven," I turned to look at him. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that."

I merely nodded in reply. It was finished, it had been said, and now I would move on. I would wipe away the tear and no one at work would see. I would forget, and in the forgetting there would be no pain. Sometimes, I wish I could forget how much I loved him. I wish I would never feel a never single emotion again. Wishes never come true. I can't find that place completely without pain, but I'll search till I die.