Well, a few mistakes I realized along the way…A) How did Harry use the silencing charm in the muggle world? I'm thinking he used it once or twice, then learned to control himself, in some, Harry Potter-ish way…don't ask…B) Why did Draco call Harry "Harry" when he said, "Couldn't be your godfather, Sirius, could it, Harry?" I dunno…dramatic stuff? It'll come in soon…I…think…on then! OH YEA! And sorry aboutt the year that he wrote the poem…I don't feel like working out when 7th yr. is…
When we last saw our favorite characters…
"Maybe so. Answer me this, Potter. Do you miss your godfather? Do you still feel the need to hear about your dead mum and dad who're never coming back?"
The room was silent with tension.
That was it. Draco had gone too far. That was the worst he'd ever been, to
anyone. Every Gryffindor was seething with hate right now. Except
Harry. Harry was ready to let everything out. And now was the time.
"Only as much as you feel
the need to tell yourself that you have competent parents, Malfoy." Harry
retorted.
At this, Draco angrily strode to Harry's side, a dangerous glare in his eyes. But being so close to the boy, harry saw that there was desperation and fear there, too.
"Don't you dare make any kind of remarks about my family, Potter. You're an indecent, worthless waste of air and space and time. What a coincidence that no one needs you here anymore. We all know who's going to win the final war, don't we, Potter? Yet, you and I both know that you'll still go the same way as your good for nothing parents, and that dirty, guilty git, Sirius B—"
"He was INNOCENT!" Harry yelled, furious, and cutting Malfoy off. There were tears on the brink of his eyes, threatening to spill at any given moment. Malfoy didn't seem to hear or notice Harry, and continued.
"Haven't you noticed that no one commends you on anything but your narrow defeats or escapes from the Dark Lord? You're the world's shield, and that's all you'll ever be, Potter. That is ALL you'll ever be to me or anyone with half a brain." Malfoy said, a scary calm in his voice.
Yet, correction. THIS was the worst that Malfoy'd ever been.
Malfoy knew that the moment those words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. He meant and felt none of that. But then why'd he said it?
Harry knew there were tears under his eyes. But now, he really had to let go. Especially with Snape gone. Now he could finally get out of the lie of a life he was living.
"I know that Malfoy. I know that more than you, or Ron, or Hermione, or Lucius or Voldermort could ever know." Harry choked through tears, in the strongest voice he could find.
"Harry, don't you DARE say that! You're no—" Hermione began.
Harry shook his head violently to silent her.
"I knew I was worthless by the time I could talk, Malfoy."
"Potter, stop trying to get people to pity you. You think you and your whole clan are so strong? Black wasn't so strong when he snuffed it, eh? He was an old fraud. He made you believe he was innocent. He should've just killed himself before. It'd have been easier for—"
"Don't you dare make any kind of joke about Sirius or suicide ever again, got that Malfoy?" Harry bellowed, wand at Malfoy's throat, pinning him against the wall, with a wild rage burning in his eyes. Harry backed away slowly, never taking his eyes off of Malfoy's.
"THIS is how I knew, and will ALWAYS know that I'm here for you, your families, your friends, and that only." Harry gestured to the rest of the dungeon, who had their eyes on the two up front. "I AM a waste of space, time, and air, and I won't be going the same way as my parents – not if I have anything to do with it, anyway. I'm not even good enough for that, and I know it. I'll end it all my way, and it's not too far off, if this keeps up."
"What in the bloody hell are you talking about, Potter?" Draco inquired, bewildered.
"This," Harry spat. He muttered a spell, the Transparency Spell – Fabricus Transcadus – which made his robes, undershirt, and slacks disappear, leaving him in only boxers. No one made any immature remarks or noises, because Harry didn't seem to be finished. He then whispered the Anti Glamour Spell – Vosica epidech –, which would show all bruises, cuts, or mark on his body that was either caused by himself or another being.
For five seconds, Harry's body was covered in countless scars, bruises, cuts, gashes, and marks, but after a hard look of concentration on his face, only the bruises were left.
"This is what life has dragged me down to." Harry spoke as clear as possible.
While Ron stared from his seat, Hermione made her way to Harry and Malfoy, whose eyes were filled with an unreadable emotion.
"H—Harry. . . Who did this to you?"
Harry's eyes once again met the floor.
"My—My uncle and
Dudley. Yeah. My uncle and Dudley."
"But Harry, it's the
middle of the year – how could your Uncle and Cousin—" Ron
was shut up by a look from Hermione. She seemed absolutely terrified, so Ron Accio-ed her back to her seat. The whole
class sat in silence for 3 more minutes or so, when more bruises appeared.
Harry's knees bucked underneath him from the now visible whip and belt marks on
his legs. With much struggle, Harry stood up.
"I'm going. Don't ask where, don't follow me, don't look for me, don't try to use the Map," he looked towards Ron and Hermione, "and don't expect me to come back. I don't want to come back. I don't want to die in the hands of a prophecy so I'll do it my way. You know, I've kept a journal since I was 9. I got this notebook on my 9th birthday, and that's probably the best present the Dursleys have ever given me. Then after I came to Hogwarts, I conjured my own one that never ran out of paper. And I don't need it anymore. I've written stories, poems, songs, and so many things that remind me of my past. . ." Harry had a thoughtful look on his face before Accio-ing a tattered book, and muttering a counter spell for a Locking Charm. "Go ahead. Read it," he said, and threw it at Ron, who caught it reluctantly. "Show Hermione, show Neville, show your brothers, show your mum and dad, show Ginny, show Malfoy. He should see it, more importantly then any of you. Hell, show Dumbledore. I don't care. I stopped caring a long time ago." Harry finished, tears now flowing freely yet silently down his ivory face.
Harry walked over so that he was face to face with Malfoy.
"I hope you know, that after all you've done—all the times that you've made my friends' lives miserable—I don't hate you. I loathe you," Harry said with venom, but really with a hint of desperation that no one else hear. No one but Draco. "I loathe you for messing everything up, and I loathe you for never showing your true self, and never letting anyone in. And I know what's behind you. I see how you cringe. But that doesn't matter anymore. I loathe you with a passion that's driven me to death."
The slight gasp that followed came from a teary eyed Hermione. She'd known something was wrong with Harry lately…Since the day after Sirius' death, Harry had been withdrawn from the world. Everyday after dinner, which he came to about 2 times a week, he would go out to the lake and sit under a weeping willow tree. Now she knew that he wasn't doing homework, but writing in that journal . . . about Godric knows what . . .He was never in the common room unless going out or coming in, and couldn't be found in the library or in the dorms. She suspected he was outside at the lake, and didn't want to interfere. She thought it was just a phase . . .He had just lost Sirius, after all . . But lately, she'd been talking to him. Saying hello and such, but he'd just raise his head and nod at her. Ron told her that he cast silencing charms on his bed at night after Dean had complained about Harry whimpering during a nightmare. He hasn't smiled in ages . . .not a real smile, anyway, Hermione thought.
Harry muttered a spell, collecting his bad and grabbing the rose that he'd started off with. He dashed past the bewildered Snape in the doorway, and into the unknown. Where Harry had just stood, were these floating words:
You can see the journey he's been through in his eyes
That saddened look on his face is from all the good-byes
I really don't know much about him, he keeps to himself
I see him quite often, but not with anyone else
He sits under the same tree, writing in that same book
Everyday I say hello, and he presents nothing but a look
I wonder of his troubles and I wonder of his dreams,
I'd like to think his aloneness isn't as severe as it seems
He sits there so lonely, yet with so much grace
I'd give anything to see a smile emerge from his face
I can almost bet the nights are hardest on his thoughts
Whoever he wears that frown for, I can tell he misses lots
How can someone so beautiful, give in so easily?
He seems so fragile as he rests there meekly.
If only I could make for him time stand still
He won't have to waste his days waiting for wounds to heal
I look up from the reflection to find I am all alone,
Then devastatingly I realize these thoughts are all my own.
HJP – 7/31/97Hermione was devastated herself, seeing as how the poem mirrored her thoughts. She finally spoke up.
"He wrote that—He wrote that on his birthday. His—his birthday for Godric's sake . . ."
But as soon as the words had left her mouth, another poem appeared.
Look me in the eyes,
Tell me all the truth.
All you're afraid of,
All I should fear.
You don't know.
You can't.
You shouldn't
You won't.
I'd never tell you,
You'd never understand.
Leave me to myself,
I seem to have faired well enough so far,
Why not let me reside
In the darkness forever more?
The tension in the air was thick, and no one really understood what the last poem meant. Except for Draco and Severus, who was standing in the doorway, not blinking. This was worse than he'd thought.
"Do you think he's gone to—" Hermione stated to no one in particular.
"—Commit suicide? I think so." Draco supplied. He turned to a shocked Snape.
"Professor, May I have permission to follow him?"
"Yes, Draco." Snape leaned close. "Don't be harsh. Don't be his enemy. Be what he needs you to be, whatever that may be itself." Draco nodded, understanding.
Once out the door, Draco went upstairs. His first thought was jumping off a tower…The Astronomy Tower! He hurried, hoping that Harry do anything . . . rash yet.
He finally reached the tower door, deciding to do whatever it takes to save potter. Before walking in, he muttered "exilparent teperal," an invisibility spell he'd learned from his father.
Slipping into the tower as
silently as possible, Draco found that he wasn't prepared for what he saw in
front of him.
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