Chapter 1 : Touch

Most of the time he detested coffee unless its his favorite …strait black with nothing it . If you ask me its one of the most vile things on this planet next to instant ramen (I would know I practicly live off of it on my little next to nothing sallery .) But as I was saying the ONLY kind my best friend likes it black … I guess it's a reflection of himself in some ways . Deep…dark … vile to most … not as stable as you would think . That pretty much sums up my blood red haired guy friend . And at this very moment I'm raving my head off to him … or at least I'm about too…

"Gaara …?"

"…"

"Gaara …?"

"…"

"Gaara!"

"What …?"

"I was saying that its not good that you live by yourself …this pent house is WAY too big for just one person …"

"Hn…"

"Gaara don't give me that ..you know I'm worried about you …Oh yeah did you take your meds ?"

"Yeah…"

"Good …anyway … as I was saying you staying in this place and not back home is dangerous … Temari said she quiet frankly doesn't trust you on your own and I …kind agree with her on this … I mean Gaara you have been known to slack off on your meds … "

"Whatever …"

"Don't roll you eyes at me !… Gaara this is serious ! I don't want a repeat of all those other times … I mean Gaara without your meds your …"

"A monster …"

"…unstable… Gaara …your not a monster …"

We sat in silence on the huge balcony of his new pent house and I began to let my eys drift to his sulken form … He leaned against the silver railing and took another drag from the cigarett he held in his teeth . His black shirt was plastered to his drenched form and he slowly ran his fingers through his hair as the rain continued to fall . I too was drenched to the skin but I had put on a coat so I wouldn't die of hypothermia while I talked to him .

"I don't like it when you smoke Gaara …" I stated breaking the silence .

"Hn…"

"God is that all you can say !… your so annoying sometimes …" I shrieked in his pale face in frustration .

He simply looked at me and snuffed out his cigarett ,flicking it at my feet and walked through the glass doors into the living room .

"Hey !I'm not done with you yet !" I called to him as I flung the door open . I stepped onto the hard wood floor in my wet shoes and winced as it sweeked loudly . He turned and looked at me with a smug smirk on his pale face . I kicked off my shoes angerly and drapped the jacket over the black leather couch next to the door . I walked over to him as he pulled out a coffee mug and grabbed his shoulder .

"Hey ! Are you even listening to me … I know that your ticked that I'm ridiculing you but come on is it so outrageous !… I'm ..I just … Oh my god your so …!"

"So what …?"He asked my his pale green eyes stared at me intently and I felt at a loss for words . I shook my head and brought my hands on either side of his face and leaned my forehead against his chest . I was fighting the tears that wanted to come and I just stood like that for a few seconds before I whispered harshly "Gaara … I don't want to loose you again … not again … please …please Gaara … I'm just so worried about you …and I'm scared that I'll loose you … so please will you just listen to what I have to say ?"

I pulled back and looked up at his unemotional face and ran my fingers through his spiky red hair and smiled sadly up at him .

Then I dropped my hands to my sides and walked to the couch and flopped down the tears flowing down my face . I didn't expect any kind of comfort from him …as it wasn't part of his charater to be comationate …and I knew that … but it didn't keep me from trying to get him to go home again …and if crying was my only defence then so be it ! The phone began to ring and I jumped causing myself to look up at him . His eyes were set on me and I hastily looked away while I asked quietly "Aren't you going to answer ?…"

Seconds later I heard his voice echo in the gigantic room "Hello…" He was quiet for a few seconds and then he spoke again . "yeah … I'll worry about it tomarow … I don't have time tonight …" I then allowed myself to look up at him as his tone of voice became less monotone . "Whatever …"

He hung the phone up on whatever person he had been talking to and then looked at me again .I gave him a disapproving look and then duked my head back as he rolled his eyes .

"Gaara … your head of a company now … be a little more curtious to you business associates … I mean you're the protogy son of the biggest medical supplier in the world … don't go screwing with your chances again …"

He rolled his eyes again and then stared into the mug of coffee . I stood up and slowly walked over to him and then reached into the cabinet next to his head and got a mug as well . He looked at me again and then looked away . A sence of guilt rose in me and I set the mug down and put my arms around him gently . He used to be scared of this … people holding him … keeping him close …others had always been scared to do it but the ones who weren't hurt him the most … I understood this …like a lot of things others didn't understand about him …I did understand … I understood my best friend … very well in fact and it was no surprise when he didn't move to hold me against himself … that he made no effort to keep me close … but at the same time I knew he knew that he needed me .

"I'm sorry Gaara … I shouldn't yell at you so much …" I stated . I then pulled away and he made no effort to make me stay .

"So how's Matsuri ?" I asked pouring coffee into my mug trying to change the subject .

"Fine …" he replied taking a sip of the coffee .

"How are you guys in the love department then ?… I've heard a lot about you two at work … But don't worry about it Matsuri doesn't tell anyone but me … I guess your pretty good from what I hear ." I laughed winking at him . He turned his eyes to me and I saw a look of embaressment paint his cheeks pink . I noticed this and laughed loudly as I walked over to the fridge . I pulled a carton of milk out and walked back to my coffee ,watching him fight the urge to ask what she told me . The thought of my friends love life didn't bother me … like others who find it akward I find it a fact of life ..and if my best friend's girl friend wants to tell me all about it then fine with me … not saying I wont drown out a few parts but still I'll listen . And from what I heard so far he was anything but a good boy .

"How in the world did you hook someone like Matsuri !… I mean she's like the exact opposite of you ?" I asked him pouring the milk into my cup .

"Lucky I guess…" he replied taking another sip of the coffee .

"I guess but not as lucky as me …" I sighed thinking of my boy friend .

"Maybe …" he sighed thinking of the same person . My boy friend of 4 years was his business partner and close advisor of the company's borde .

"He's such a pain …" Gaara anounced . I turned sharpy to face and hit him lightly on the arm .

"Oh please like your any angel yourself …" I teased smiling at him . He shot me a smirk and then shook his head vigorously back and forth sending water flying all over the place .

"Ahhh! Hey that's cold ! What are you a dog ?" I shrieked .He stopped and then looked at me with a smirk on his face .

"Your right I'm not an angel …" he replied running his fingers through his less dripping hair .

"Nope ..your Gaara ." I smiled . The room went quiet for a few moment as I looked at the clock .

"Oh my gosh 12:49 ! I'm sorry I've got to go !" I exclaimed putting my mug back on the counter . I raced around in front of him grabing my stuff up and I headed for the door .

"Opps !" I huffed remembering my car keys . I had laid them on the coffee table when I came in . I spun around to get them when I knocked into a black wall … also known as Gaara's chest .

"Don't go …" he stated as I looked up at him . I was very taken aback and I felt a look of confusion creep across my face .

"Why not ?" I asked quietly .

"Your all wet … you'll get sick if you walk home …and I don't have a caryet so I can't drive you .." he explained . His eyes stared at me patintly as I replied quietly "Alright …I'll stay …" His eyes then filled with a satisfied look and then he put his hand on my pink colored hair . Touch . Something he didn't do often …at least not to anyone but Matsuri …

A good half hour later I was curled up on the far end of the huge leather couch with a comforter drapped over me . Gaara has always had insomnia and I could hear the music in his room blaring as the walls vibrated slightly . I smiled to myself and then curled under the covers deeper and began to run my fingers over the shirt Gaara had given me to wear . It was black like almost all of the things that he owned and it was soft like it had been worn a lot and I sighed as I let it be Gaara for a moment . And in this fantasy … he wasn't afraid ..afraid of people .. Of touch … he let me hug him and he would hug back … he would ruffle my pink hair and he would laugh … I knew it was a bad dream to have but I was still just that a dream . I felt my eyes begin to drift shut and I smiled as sleep came to me .