Title: Of Joyrides and Batmobiles

Author: Miranda Aurelia

Rating: PG

Pairing: Chloe/Oliver

Summary: Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. "Connor, please tell me you didn't take the Batmobile out for a joyride."

A/N: A/N: For some reason, I started asking myself, "What would happen if someone stole the Batmobile?" and then a few hours later, this fic came into being. It was an idea I considered incorporating into my Through the Sands of Time fic, but I felt it worked better as a one shot.

It wasn't meant to be serious, but rather a bit tongue-in-cheek. Hope you enjoy!

"Is your son there?" Judging from the growl, it seemed that Bruce was in Batman mode at the moment.

"You mean Connor?" Oliver's brow furrowed, "No, I haven't seen him around all day."

"My daughter's also missing. So's my car!"

"Alana's not here, in case you're wondering." There was a bat-grunt from Bruce's end, "As for your car, Bruce, you have plenty of cars. Surely one doesn't make that much of a difference-"

"The Batmobile is missing," Bruce's tone was eerily similar to the one he used right before he punched someone's lights out. Certainly more than a few members of Gotham's rogue gallery could attest to that.

There was a moment of silence on Oliver's end.

"….I think you need a better security system," Now it sounded as though Oliver was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to hide his laughter.

"Queen! This is serious."

"I am! Maybe Selina or Alana borrowed it."

"Selina has her own car," Bruce bit out, "And Alana is not supposed to be driving yet."

"C'mon," Oliver walked over the tall windows in the living room, "There's no way Connor could have taken your car. He only passed his road test two weeks ago-" He broke off when he spotted a familiar black vehicle heading down the driveway of the mansion. "You know what? I take it all back."

"It had better be back in the Batcave within twenty-four hours in the exact same condition," Bruce said ominously before he hung up.

Connor knew he was in the trouble the minute the hatch opened and he saw his father standing a few feet away at the front of the driveway. So much for stashing it away in the garage….

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please tell me you didn't take the Batmobile out for a joyride."

Connor gave him a bright, albeit somewhat forced, smile, "Um…I didn't take the Batmobile out for a joyride?"

"You know, I'd be more inclined to believe you if you could have said that without looking like you just got caught with your hand in the metaphorical cookie jar."

When Connor just shuffled his feet, Oliver sighed. "Where's Alana?"

"Probably in Witness Protection if she's smart," muttered Connor, "Since she was the one that came up with the idea in the first place."

His father just raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," Connor conceded, "She's probably hiding out at Oracle's place or at one of the satellite caves."

"You're still in big trouble, young man."

"It's all Dick's fault! He's double dared me!"

Oliver just stared at him for a second before he rapidly punched in the numbers on the phone.

"What!" Bruce's mood obviously hadn't improved any.

"It's your son's fault," Oliver told him tonelessly.

"…Eric is ten."

"No, not that son."

"Tim?"

"No, your eldest."

"Dick?!" Bruce didn't sound pleased. "I see."

Connor must have heard because his face rapidly paled. Quickly, he quickly punched some numbers into his own cell-phone. "Dick?" Oliver heard his son whisper loudly into the phone, "Run." A pause. "I know you're in Bludhaven, but it sounds like Uncle Bruce is out for blood!"

"And tell my godson I'm highly displeased with him," Oliver heard a loud crashing sound in the background before Bruce hung up.

"So Dick dared you because…?"

"Well, he may or may not be holding a bit of a grudge because of that incident with Azrael last month. Of course, the fact that Aunt Selina also thinks that Az is an incompetent arse might help his case with Uncle Bruce…" Connor trailed off at the look on his father's face.

"Son, next time stay out of Bat family politics. Bruce also wants his car back within the next twenty-four hours. Oh and you're grounded." Oliver added the last part almost as an afterthought.

Connor's jaw dropped, "Gotham's on the other side of the country! How the heck am I supposed to get it back over there in time?"

Oliver shot him a look. "The same way you got it here?"

"Well, I might have gotten some help," Connor admitted.

"Is this what you guys normally get up during your Teen Titan meetings?" Oliver asked incredulously, "Because this just means someone from the JL needs to babysit you guys."

"Er…We might have been a tiny bit bored…"

"That does not sound reassuring. At all," said Oliver in a clipped tone, "Now if we can just get the Batmobile out of sight before your mother gets home."

No sooner had the words left his mouth did Chloe's car come into view.

Connor groaned, "Dad!"

"You're on your own," was his father's helpful reply.

"That had better not be what I think it is," was the first thing Chloe said.

Oliver gave his son a not-so-subtle shove in his mother's direction.

"I can explain!" blurted out Connor as he stumbled to a stop, "Just please, don't let Uncle Bruce kill me!"

"Don't be ridiculous. Bruce would never do that," Chloe said, looking over the Batmobile, "Although I won't rule out manual labour for the next sixty years."

Oliver frowned. Did his sixteen year son just whimper?

"How on earth did you manage to get it out of the Batcave?"

"Insider information?" Connor smiled weakly.

"And you drove it all the way here?!"

"Uh, Nathan might have helped out a bit….He might also have said something about Dad having a better sense of humour than Uncle Clark – not to mention that Aunt Lois would probably crash it within a day if he took it with him back to Metropolis…"

"I should have known," Chloe rubbed her temple, "Connor, you're grounded."

"I know," he said listlessly, "Dad already told me."

After Connor had retreated back into the mansion, Oliver shook his head. "I don't even want to know what that boy was thinking - he could have been killed! I've seen the speeds this thing can go up to!"

Chloe wrapped an arm around Oliver's waist, "Make that no car privileges either for the next five weeks?"

"Four. I'll give him a break because I can still imagine the look on Bruce's face when he found out about it."

There was a moment of silence before Chloe said, "I know you're itching to try it out."

The corner of his mouth twitched as his gaze turned from the Batmobile to his wife, "Is it that obvious?"

"I know you too well, Mr. Queen."

"In that case," Oliver leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, "Want to make out in the back seat?"

Chloe laughed.

Thanks for reading!