Don't Piss Off a Marine
by rooster dawn
Pairing: Harm/Mac
Spoiler: Happens some time between when Mac returns from the Guadalcanal and the Christmas kiss.
Summary: What happens when you rile a marine? Harriet and Sturgis are about to find out. And it's not pretty.
Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback is the nectar of life
mid Sept 2001
Harm was in the break room getting himself a cup of coffee. He had just had another disagreement with Mac. Once again he had put his oversized foot in his mouth. He didn't understand why he did it.
He had been talking to Sturgis about his nonromantic relationship with Mac. Since he didn't want anyone to know his true feelings about her, he would always say something stupid to try and throw people off track.
It usually worked, but not with Sturgis. For some reason the more he denied his involvement with Mac, the more Sturgis suspected otherwise. He didn't understand why it was so important to Sturgis anyway.
His last comment was one of his worst one ever and of course Mac just happened to walk off the elevator right in the middle of his comment. This of course upset Mac and she just looked at him with a hurt look and walked away from him.
She went back into her office and slammed the door. Everyone in the office knew something had happen. They were probably wondering what had he done now to set her off. Sturgis followed him into the break room.
"I'm sorry Harm, I don't really understand what's going on here. You both keep telling me nothing is going on, but something must be if she gets this upset." reasoned Sturgis
"You're not sorry Sturgis because if you were you would stop. She's upset because you won't let it rest Sturgis. I tell you nothing is happening, she tells you nothing is going on, and yet you keep questioning whether or not we're telling you the truth." replied an upset Harm.
"I'm not doing that Harm. I'm just trying to understand. Your fighting with each other is affecting my sphere." continued Sturgis.
"Don't you understand Sturgis, Mac is a very private person. Her life has been far from perfect. She's very guarded about whom she lets in and what she says about it. She's not ready to let you into her world. You need to back off." replied Harm forcefully.
"I'll try Harm. but ... " replied Sturgis before Harm stopped him.
"Don't try, just do. Stop acting like an ass. Whatever there is or isn't between us doesn't concern you." snapped Harm.
The next morning Harriet and Sturgis were in the break room drinking coffee. Sturgis had established a bond working with Bud. He was helping Bud to get in better shape and lose weight. Harriet was very appreciative of this.
She loved Bud and all, but he was getting a bit too heavy especially when she was on the bottom of their nighttime activity. It was becoming a painful chore instead of an act of love.
"Harriet, maybe you can enlighten me about the Commander and Colonel's relationship. I like to work in an orderly and peaceful work environment, which includes peace and quiet.
They seem to be constantly at odds with each other. It seems to raise the tension level around here when they're fighting." asked Sturgis.
"It never used to be that way Sir. They use to get along very well before the Commander went back to flying a coupe of years ago. They use to be together all the time. Everyone thought that they were in love with each other.
They were perfect. But when Harm returned from flying things were a little strained between them. They didn't seem to be able to get back what they had before he left.
And then when they returned from Australia, the Colonel was engaged to someone else. No one understood what happen. Only Bud knows for sure and he won't tell me." replied Harriet.
"So the Colonel was engaged to someone else? What happen?" asked Sturgis.
"It happened right before you got here Sir. The Commander crashed his tomcat on the way back from the Patrick Henry. The Colonel was very distraught. Her fiancee didn't understand why.
Next thing we all knew the wedding was called off and she was ten thousand miles away on a ship in the Indian Ocean. Her fiancee went back to Australia.
The common perception, the reason the wedding was called off had something to do with the Commander. But no one really knows for sure." replied Harriet.
At that point in time Mac walked into the break room. She had taken a break from working on some cases to get a cup of coffee. When she heard Harriet talking about her personal life she got really upset.
How dare she talk about her like that to someone else. Harriet was supposed to be her friend. She had always thought it was Loren who spread the ugly rumors about her. Now she knew the real truth, it was Harriet.
"Lieutenant Sims!" bellowed Mac as she got right into Harriet's face.
Harriet quickly stood at attention. She was petrified. She had seen Mac dressing down other officers the last few months to know when she was in deep trouble. She also felt she was losing control of her bladder.
And with Mac's nose two inches from hers, she didn't know how long she could retain control. Sturgis was in shock. He had heard before that Mac wasn't a marine you messed around with from Harm, but he had never seen her in her marine hard ass mode before.
"Don't tell me I just heard you talking about my personal life with the Commander, Lieutenant. I thought we had this discussion before.
It was bad enough that you had pools about when the Commander and I would get together in the past, but I at least I thought you had the decency not to talk about my personal life with other people." continued Mac.
"Yes Ma'am." whimpered Harriet.
Harriet was having a difficult time holding it together. She had never had her six reamed out before, especially from someone she respected so much. She was trying very hard now to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes.
Her bladder was about to explode. She was silently praying that the Colonel would make it quick so she could escape to the ladies room.
But such wasn't going to be the case this day. Mac was really pissed and she had had enough. Harriet was the one who was going to bear the brunt of it.
"When are you going to learn Lieutenant that my private life isn't a subject open for discussion here at headquarters. I'm very disappointed with you. I thought you were my friend. I thought you respected my privacy.
But I can see that I have been greatly mistaken about our friendship. What am I going to do with you Lieutenant?" asked Mac shaking her head in disappointment.
"I don't know Ma'am." whimpered Harriet as a couple of tears felled down her cheek.
She also felt something running down her leg before grimacing and regaining control.
"That's not a very good answer Lieutenant. Maybe if I write you up for insubordination and have it put in your service record it will wake you up to how serious of an infraction you have committed here.
Now get out of my face and get back to your duties Lieutenant. And I better not see or ever hear you talking about any other senior officer. If I do, I will have your bars." ordered Mac.
Harriet scurried off quickly to the ladies room where she went into one of the stalls. She sat down and cried. Never in her life had she ever felt this way.
Her best friend, the godmother of her child, was disappointed and angry with her. She had wet herself while Mac chewed her out. She didn't know what to do. She was so embarrassed that she stayed in the stall until lunchtime.
Meanwhile back in the break room Sturgis started to open his mouth to speak. A mistake he was about to learn to regret. You don't mess with an angry marine.
"Colonel, it was all my fault. I asked her about you and the Commander. She didn't want to say anything, but ... " began Sturgis.
"Don't you try and cover for her Commander. I've talked to her before about her spreading gossip and talking about other people's privacy without their consent.
She was due to have her six reamed out. Maybe she'll learn to keep her mouth shut and her nose out of other people business." replied Mac angrily.
"Don't you think you were a little hard on her. She was in tears." rebutted Sturgis.
"No, I don't Commander. But you're going to find out how bad it can get. You have been asked more than once by Harm and myself to keep your nose to yourself." replied Mac as she began her dressing down of Sturgis.
"I wouldn't get involve and ask questions if the tension between you and Harm didn't constantly affect my work environment." argued Sturgis defensively.
"So you are blaming Harm and me for your meddling?" asked an astonished Mac.
"Yes. You two have everyone on edge around here. Morale is down." argued Sturgis.
"Well guess what Commander, you're the problem. You're the reason we're fighting. We were getting along just fine before you showed up here. But instead of keeping your mouth shut and minding your own business you have to stick your nose into everyone else's." replied an enraged Mac.
"I have not. I'm just trying to get to know everyone and fit in." whined Sturgis.
"Yeah right. You came in and got Bud on a fat boy program your first week here. You've gotten Singer upset and more neurotic then ever before. Why do you care what her religion is? It's not any of your damm business. Leave her alone." ordered Mac.
"I was only trying to help. I want them to have long careers in the Navy." whined Sturgis who was beginning to become upset himself.
"That's not your responsibility Commander. You're here to be a lawyer, not a guidance counselor. And you want to know the real reason Harm and I are fighting as you seem to think. It's you and your meddling.
We have asked you time and time again to stay out of our private lives. I can't understand why it's any of your business what Harm's and my relationship is." replied Mac as she continued to dress down Sturgis.
"Because Harm is my friend. When I got here he seemed to be very unhappy and depress. I was told it had something to do with you. And since you have been back the tension around here has been very thick and has been occupying my space." whined Sturgis.
He couldn't understand why Mac was in his face. He couldn't understand why she reamed out Harriet. He had been told she was a very good person and well liked.
"Well as his friend you should respect his privacy. He has told you to butt out. Despite his friendly out going demeanor and willingness to help others, Harm is a very private person.
He holds his feelings close to the vest. He has built up many walls over the years to keep people out and not get hurt. The last thing in the world he wants right now is to talk about how he feels about anything.
Your pushing him only causes him to push back. But since he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, he just denies everything leading him to say something stupid.
And all that ends up doing is getting him to hurt my feelings when I either hear him saying them or when I find out about them. Then I get very upset with him.
And since I have built up higher walls than Harm around my feelings he begins to feel hopeless and depress. When I'm angry with him, I won't talk to him, which leads him to feeling more guilty and helpless.
He broods silently waiting for me let him know everything is okay. Which usually doesn't last long, but with your constant meddling the problem doesn't go away. The problem then becomes worse because we don't talk.
The last time it got so bad I almost ended up marrying someone else." explained Mac.
"But to make a long story short Commander, You are the cause of your own little imperfect environment. If you stop interfering and asking personal questions that aren't any of your business, Harm will stop sulking and putting his foot in his mouth.
He will be happier. I will be happier. And when I'm happy, Harm's happy. Which leads to everyone else here at JAG being happy. Your workspace then would be free of strife.
So as chief of staff here at JAG I'm only going to tell you this once. If you so much as ask one more person or Harm about our relationship, I will have you written up for insubordination with the potential of an article 32 hearing for conduct unbecoming of an officer. Have I made myself clear Commander?" asked Mac.
"Yes Ma'am!" retorted Sturgis snapping to attention before going back to his office.
He was tempted to check and see if he had a new hole. He had been reamed out pretty good. He had seen other sailors being reamed out before on some of the submarines he had served on, but never like today with Colonel Mackenzie.
She was tougher then any officer he had ever served with. He wondered what had happen to her to cause her to be this way.
The Admiral had stepped out of his office for some coffee. It had been a long morning. He hated dealing with the SecNav so early in the day.
He needed some coffee really bad, but he hadn't taken more then a few steps out of his office before he heard Mac dressing down Sturgis. He turned to Tyner.
"What's going on Tyner?" asked the Admiral.
"I believe the Colonel is upset with the Commander Turner, Sir. I've never seen her this angry before, not even with the Commander Rabb. She just finished tearing into Lieutenant Roberts. Now I guess she's putting Commander Turner in his place Sir." replied Tyner.
"Great, just what I need today. First an angry SecNav and now an angry marine. Do you have any idea what this is all about?" asked the Admiral.
Before he entered the lion's den he wanted to know what it was about so he would know how to deal with the problem.
"I'm not sure Sir. I think it has something to do with her relationship with Commander Rabb." replied Tyner.
"Oh God. Just when I thought we had put that problem to bed, it raises its ugly head again." responded the Admiral as he shook his head.
No wonder why I have no hair left on top of my head as he waited for Mac to finish with Commander Turner before walking into the break room.
He poured himself a cup of coffee before saying "My office Colonel." before heading back with Mac in tow. The Admiral sat down in his chair before asking Mac to do the same.
"What's wrong Colonel? I hear you been busy chewing my officers out." asked the Admiral.
"As Chief of Staff I was correcting a breech in protocol around here Sir. It seems some people around here don't have enough work to do. They spend their time gossiping about other officers and their private lives. I took care of the problem Sir." replied Mac.
"Don't you think you were being a little harsh Colonel?" asked the Admiral.
"No Sir. I have spoken with both officers several time before about their conduct being unacceptable. I felt it was necessary to dress them down at this time." replied Mac.
"But did you need to ream them a new six. I heard that Harriet ran out crying to the facilities after you were done." replied a concerned Admiral.
"I've asked her many times in the past to stop gossiping about the Commander and myself. But she seems to ignore my requests in this matter. I'm sick and tired of it Sir. I'm sick of people sticking their noses into my personal life." replied Mac.
"They just want you to be happy Colonel. They all believe that you and the Commander are meant to be together." smiled the Admiral.
"Well Sir that's never going to happen as long as everyone stick their noses where they don't belong. Every time we begin to get close and back on track someone interferes. Harm goes into his denial mode and backs away.
I get angry and sullen with him. Harm doesn't know whether to leave me alone or take me into his arms. It has to stop Sir. I'm not going to put up with it any longer." explained Mac angrily.
"I understand Colonel. I'll see what I can do. But please try and take it easier on the rest of my staff. I know it isn't easy to deal with Commander Rabb sometimes, but somehow the two of you need to keep what's happening to you in your personal lives out of my office.
I will not tolerate my staff walking on eggshells waiting for the next bomb to drop." consoled the Admiral.
"That won't be a problem Sir if everyone respects our privacy." replied Mac.
Later that day at Ho's Chinese Noodle House, Harm and Mac were having lunch.
"How was court today Harm?" asked Mac seductively as reached out to touch his hand. She was in a frisky mood and wanted to tease Harm.
"It was okay I guess. I heard you were in rare fighting form today. It's not very often that Sturgis feels like he's back in the academy again. I saw him in the facilities checking out his new hole." smile Harm.
"Well he deserved it. He needs to learn that as a senior officer he should be there when or if he's needed. It's not his job to counsel people as he sees fit or intrude where he's not wanted. I know he's your friend Harm, but he needs to respect our privacy." replied Mac.
"You're right Sarah. And I should have set him straight long before now, but sometimes it's hard. You were gone for three months and he was here. It's not easy to stop confiding with someone.
He knew something was wrong and wanted to help. I should have been more of a man, told him to back off, and not denied my feeling for you." replied Harm.
"It's okay Harm. It was my fault too. I knew how you felt about me. I knew you were trying to keep our relationship private. I know you were trying to dissuade him. But it still hurt to hear you say what you did." moaned Mac softly.
"It's still my fault. I knew how much a busy body he could be. I also knew how persistent he could be too. He's been that way ever since the academy." grinned Harm.
"You know I love you Flyboy. You are my life." smiled Mac sweetly.
"I love you too. I can't even imagine a day living without you. Do you think we should tell them we got married last week?" asked Harm with a big smile.
"No! I think they all need to learn to respect our privacy first. When they do, then maybe." grinned Mac.
the end