I just can't stop myself today...the ideas are running rampant in my little brain, they are just clammering to get out! So, this story will consist of multiple chapters concerning 6x05. Each chapter will have a different theme.
To start off, chapter 1 is about Dean's reaction to the knowledge that Sam sat back and watched him get turned.
Of course, as always, I do not own SPN but it sure fills my head with lots of stuff! I hope you will enjoy and come back for more! Feel free to review, it is always wonderful to get some feedback! :)
He lays on the floor. Images rewind and replay in his mind. But of all the images that he sees there, he always comes back to it. The one. Where his brother Sam watches as he is turned. Doesn't do anything to stop it. Smiles at the sight of it. He is disgusted. He wants to beat the shit out of him. He wants to scream at the top of his lungs.
He tries to get up. He feels weak and powerless. But he also feels thankful that he managed to abstain from human blood. He wasn't sure for a while there if he could do it. The pull had been so strong. But the spell has been broken, he can feel that the cure has worked. But his thoughts always go back. To Sam. He never would have gone through this torment, this torture if it wasn't for him. He wouldn't have risked the life of Lisa. Of Ben. His brother. That bastard. If it wasn't for him none of this would have happened.
He feels strong hands and arms support him as he rises and tries to get into a seated position on the floor. He wants to gag. He looks over, to see the owner of the arms and feels bile rise up in his throat. At the smile he sees emanate from his brother's face. He knows it is complete and utter bullshit. He knows Sam doesn't care one bit about him. Not any more. Sam wanted him to die. Wanted him to become a monster. And he shivers when he thinks how close he came. And for what? For Sam to get to the nest? To get to the alpha? He knows he means absolutely nothing to him now, probably for as long as he has been back. He doesn't mean one god damned thing.
He lets Sam and Samuel help him up off the floor as his body does not want to move on its own. He just wants to sleep, to forget, to let the darkness consume him. He can't talk right now. He can't think. He just wants to pass out into oblivion. Because the pain. The pain in his heart threatens to break him now. Right then. In front of the other two men. And he refuses to let any emotions through. He will put on his ever present mask and continue on. He hears Sam ask him about the stupid nest and what he saw. He can't believe it. For the love of, why can't he just have a moment to relax? After everything that Sam has put him through?
"Not now Sam. My mind is mush. I need to sleep. I need to drown out the horrors of the day. Just, leave me alone."
He doesn't wait for an answer, just collapses on the bed and shuts his eyes. He wants nothing more than to escape the unwavering betrayal he feels deep within him. Within his soul. As he feels sleep descend upon him he wishes and longs for one thing. He wants his brother back. His Sammy.