Important Information

A/N: Hey peeps, this is my first fanfiction to be ever posted on this site. So please, if you would, go easy on me. You are encouraged to give me constructive criticism, but don't full on hate on it. I will not update super fast, but I'll try for once a week but don't count on it. If I don't for a while you can PM me or review and say update soon or something. I do check my email all the time, just in case I forget. Also, all my chapters will be going through at least 2-3 people, if not more, before being updated. One of them can be slow at editing my wonderful grammatical mistakes that I make all the time. Did I mention grammar is not my strong suit?

Some additional information on this fanfic that I would like to make clear (for it was a little confusing for some) is 1: Royal Establishment is present day England. (I love the country. Never been there. I don't know why I love it so much.) For future reference, 2: Tasman is present day Australia. 3: Clock City is present day London, England. 4: Hazelle is Australian, but married Gale's dad (Marcus) when she was 18 and moved to London, and finally 5: May, Sarah, Bethany (Beth), Elizabeth (Lizzie) -these two won't show much after chapter 1 if at all, Aubrey(?), and any other characters my mind comes up with are mine, they have been created by me. The rest of the characters are Suzanne Collins. Oh! And Tyler, Alex, Alec, C.J. are mine as well. :)

If ANY confusion I will try to clear it up for you. I hope this clears up some of the things you are about to read. Sorry for the long chapter, but it took me forever to find one I actually liked! This is like version 5! Whoa! Chapters will probably never be this long again.

Hope you enjoy! Review! Comment! Favorite! Follow me! Favorite me! Any ideas you would like to see is up for consideration if you Pm or write in the review box!

Oh! And thank you for the "non" beta rianterren, Belle453, and my friend for her wonderful editing job! Thanks again to rianterren for all the help sorting out my head and getting this thing started and not giving up on me! Read their stories! They're really good!

P.S After this chapter it pretty much goes to a regular Hunger Games love story for a long time! So please read on...(mostly after Sarah and May leave it will be a regular HG story!

Rebel or Madge?

(Gale's POV)

Everyone has left the room but me. The sheets are pulled up over my shoulder, but it's not helping. My body trembles under the sheets, goose-bumps rising on my skin. My eyes are glued to the door that leads to the rest of my family. My body is shivering and unwanted emotions are rising up in my chest. I almost want to cry, but I suppress that feeling.

Today was May's 18th birthday. She had a big decision ahead of her and I am scared. Scared that my family gonna to break more if Sarah and May both leave. Why'd the decision have to come between Royal Establishment and Panem? Why my family?

There's a knock on the door and slowly my mother and oldest sister, Sarah, walk in. My mother quickly closes the door and the two women come rushing over to me. I push away my mother's arm that's trying to snake around my shoulders. Sarah's hand is running through my hair. I can't help that her hand feels comforting running the length of my hair, her fingers slightly scraping my scalp. I close my eyes.

A hand touches my forehead, probably my mother's. She's probably most likely checking to see if I have a fever. I'm unusually pale today.

"Do you feel alright, baby?" My mother's sweet and loving voice rings out.

My eyes burst open. I can't take the images of them leaving and our family falling apart again, but this time I can't hold everyone up, again. My breathing hitches and all I can see is fire and destruction. My eyes are glued again to the door in front of me, but I can't see anymore. The air is heavy in my lungs, like I can't push enough out to get more in.

Hands grip my arms and wrap around my knees. They must be lying my body down to try and calm me, only I know it won't work.

I snap my eyes shut, but only see May hitting me for not leaving with them. I'm only fifteen, I can't even leave yet! Aircrafts shoot fire on me, I catch fire. I scream out into nothing.

Something wet hits my forehead: dripping water down my face. I hear another voice, Mrs. Everdeen? My chest is heaving against me, I can't get enough air! Why can't I get enough air!?

I feel hands gently shake my shoulders. But it feels so distant, yet so close to me. I try to reach for them, but I can't feel anything. I don't even know if I moved in real life or just inside my imagination. A new round of sweat beats my forehead; my shirt is sticking to my back and chest. I can barely recognize my hands shaking, let alone the other things in the room.

The rag on my head is replaced with a new one. Someone takes ahold of my hands, sending relief through my veins.

Slowly, ever so slowly do I pull out of the dark abyss of my mind to reality. The creaky floorboard, the cracks in the ceiling, my sister and mother's worried expressions, Mrs. Everdeen's stoic one. My body is stiff as a board, my hands in fist inside Mrs. Everdeen's. Mrs. Everdeen is kneeling on the bed, my legs trapped in between hers. Mom runs her one hand through my hair, the other running up and down my left side. Her hand coming back slick with sweat from my forehead.

My heart is pounding against my rib cage, my ears are ringing. I slide my legs out from in-between Mrs. E's and bring them up closer to me. I cover my face in horror with my hands that are still trembling and cold. It took a little time to wrestle them away from Mrs. E. A sob escapes my chest, but only one.

I hear murmurs in the background, "I believe he had a panic or anxiety attack. Anything stressful going on, as of late? Has he been sleeping normally?" Mrs. Everdeen must be talking. No, everything in my life is screwed up and unstable. Everything I love eventually leaves me. No, my sleeping habits are not good, as of late, but it's only because of May turning 18.

There's silence in the air.

"No stressful things," she lies smoothly. I wonder if she was thinking about telling her the whole truth, they are best friends, "I believe he's been sleeping fine." No, but I'll never tell her that.

Lies, all of it. My life is a lie! And I don't know how to get back to the truth, to me. Before the move…Before America became Panem…Before I was forced to change and live a lie…Before I lost myself completely.

Where did I go?

Our little house is starting to fill up. May greets everyone as they enter the house. I'm on door duty. Only one more person has to show up…Bethany.

Ah Bethany…She's in my year. She's pretty with gorgeous eyes that you totally get lost in. Yes, we have history…dating history. She's a Townie, I'm a Seam Rat. We don't mix, and we made that pretty clear. Yeah, it didn't end well.

The only thing I truly miss about her is her eyes. They're absolutely beautiful, one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. Their bright crystal colored, and that sparkle they have when absorbing the sun. That's what drew me to her. I got lost in them quite a few times, not the best idea ever.

There's a knock on the door that can only be defined as Bethany's. Her blue eyes pop into my head.

She smiles at me, showing all her teeth. Her whole face lit up at the sight of me. She draws me closer for a hug. I don't like to be touched.

"You smell good…and look better than ever! Whatcha doing?" she hesitates for a moment, "Don't answer that…" she murmurs into my ear. She must think I'm gonna be rude and say now that I'm not dating her that I'm better. I shrug my shoulders. She presses a kiss to my earlobe causing me to involuntarily shiver. She giggles into my chest. She's still a good friend.

She pulls back smiling at me. I'm still in her grip, her hands rest loosely around my hips. I smile back.

Someone clears their throat. I spin on my heels to come face to face with Sarah. Her arms crossed over her chest, an annoyed look plastered on her face.

She clears her throat again, "You gonna let the girl in? Or is she gonna freeze out there forever, Gale?" she practically growls at me. I step away from the door. Bethany squeezes past. I glare at Sarah. "I thought you broke up with her?" she growls and steps closer to me. Our chests pressed together.

"I did." I shallow. Why does she care?

"Then why were you in each other's arms, why did she kiss your ear? Hmm?" She smirks thinking she won. She didn't. Maybe…

"We're just friends, Sarah." I state, which is true, we are. "I'm not interested anymore." I narrow my eyes at her.

"Keep it that way." She stalks away.

In the background you can hear Bethany saying: "That's so cute!" to May's dress. That dress costs all the money we've saved up for winter. Not to mention it's September!

Although the dress looks amazing one her, its royal blue down to the waist with fishnets (or so it looks) down it in blues and sparkly greens, and actual silk in sea green and a slightly lighter blue to her knees, and to tie it off a blue silk ribbon around the waist.

I take a seat in the old recliner in the corner. Across the room is a few gifts from us and I saw Bethany brought one.

I've probably stared out the small window for an hour. God, May is 18 today. Her whole life changes today. My life changes with hers. I wonder if she'll miss us, or not bother to think too hard and only focus on Sarah and Royal Establishment. Will she miss her friends she has only ever kept at arm's length? Will she miss me?

I don't know if my family can get through this right now. With dad's death and all. I don't want May to turn 18 today. She can't leave and take Sarah along with her. Where does that leave me? I'll have no one to talk to, no one to lean on through the hard times. My mother doesn't need my burdens; she has enough on her plate now. I'm gonna be alone! And that scares me. I can't take care of a family by myself and my mom at 15 years old. Well I have! But that's not the point! I had at least someone to take care of mom! It's impossible! But I will do it anyways. For dad. Not for them.

But what bothers me the most is that she hasn't even talked to me about it, only Sarah. She hasn't even asked me how I felt about her leaving! I haven't picked a side yet. I'm still open to both! Maybe she thinks I'm too young to understand. And maybe I am, I don't quite understand everything yet, but I still have three years to make it. It's frustrating that she doesn't see me as someone who can help her too. I want too.

But most of all, can't she stay until I'm (being the next of age) old enough to choose, like Sarah did. So we wouldn't be losing them so quickly. And I wait for Rory, and Rory waits for Vick, and Vick waits for Posy? Guess not.

My chest constricts to even think about the feeling of being the oldest now. Should it excite me to be the one in charge, the oldest one? Or sad because I may never see them again? I'm so confused.

I don't know what to do!?

(Sarah's POV)

Gale has been sitting in that chair all God damn day! Hasn't said a word since Bethany got here and his body is tense and distant. His beautiful eyes too.

Every so often his body relaxes for a minute but tenses up almost instantly. His face contorts into an angered or pained expression. I notice my own body react when his does, I tense when he tenses. When he looks sad, I feel sad. He's obliviously in pain today. Something is bothering him, tearing him apart inside. I almost want to pull him against me and cry for him. But May obliviously doesn't notice that he's upset. They never really got along after dad died. They never really got along period.

I can't even take it anymore! He's in pain and I need to take it away from him. He's my baby brother and I love him. He doesn't deserve to be in pain, especially if it's because of me. Or May.

I stride over to him from across the small living room. He doesn't even notice me standing in front of him. It's not normal for him to do that. I shake his shoulder.

I seem to have startled him. He jerks away from me and shakes his head. His eyes wide with fear…well, until he knows it's me.

"What do you want, Sarah?" his voice is cold and hostile, closed off. But I've lived long enough with him, 15 years to be exact, to recognize the hint of depression in his voice. He has some trouble with depression and weight since the move. I can hear it in the threads of his voice. Quiet, but noticeable to me.

"Come with me…I want to talk to you…alone." I stare at him dead on.

"About?" he snaps. He has never snapped at me in all his life. It breaks my heart.

"May, me, you…" I trail off. He looks over my shoulder at the dancing May.

Minutes, hours, I don't know how long before he answers me. His voice is strangled and he doesn't dare look me in the eyes, "We can't, not now." His bottom lip trembles, but to a blind's eye you'd never notice it, "I'm fine by the way… just tired. Now GO AWAY!" his voice rises slightly, "Nothing is wrong! LEAVE ME ALONE!" he squares his shoulders and looks directly at me. His stare is so intense that I have to look away.

I can feel him watching me as I make my way to mom.

My breathing is heavier. I fight back tears. I don't know why, maybe my period is coming and that's why I'm all emotional. Or maybe because I'm leaving this week, something I have been waiting for, for two years for May to go with me, and never did I once think about my baby brother. Not once.

My brother is not alright. He can say it all he wants, but I know better. And what really makes me want to cry is that I'm one of the causes for his pain. I'm tearing him apart inside and I can't mend his broken heart. My love for him isn't strong enough to mend it when I'm the one that broke it. Love for family just isn't enough sometimes. And today is one of those days. I have driven a wedge between us and I can't dig it out.

I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't.

(May's POV)

I saw it. I saw it all. Sarah and Gale's conversation. I at least had to decency to not eavesdrop in on it. But what pisses me off is Gale has hurt Sarah's feelings! The girl walked away almost crying and that's where I draw the line. No one hurts my sister like that and gets away with it! Not even family, especially Gale freaking Hawthorne. I don't care if he's my brother. I love him yes, but I love Sarah more.

But when I look at my so called brother, I see the inner workings of his mind. The pained expression. The tense body. His jaw locked. His hair way more messed up then usually, like he has been pulling on it. His breathing is slightly off and his eyes are distant, and…is that…no it can't be…loneliness.

Oh god! What have I done!? Is he sad because of me? Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!

I don't know what to make of his…being. Is he sad and lonely (god I can't even think about him being…lone…ly) because we're leaving, or at least Sarah's leaving for sure. They couldn't possibly know I'm gonna leave too! Gale is pretty perceptive though.

Maybe he's upset because I haven't been a good sister and totally left him out of the loop and not even discussed this with him. I always just blew him off, telling myself that he was too young to understand, that he doesn't get it. That and we never got along, so I didn't even want to talk to him, he'd be rude or something…maybe. Maybe I should have?

Would he feel abandoned if we both leave? Like we don't care about him? Is he scared of what's to come? Of what will happen to this family if we leave? I haven't even thought about it. I was too focus on myself to care.

God! I'm not thinking about this now! Not now, May Hawthorne, not now! It's your 18th birthday. Enjoy it girl!

But does he have a problem with both of us leaving…?

Just deal with it later, May!

Bethany and Elizabeth have been standing by me all throughout the party and I can't explain how appreciative I am of it. I have not been very open with them and they hardly know a thing about me, but they have only ever supported me. Am I making the wrong decision to let them go for good? No.

As the party goes on, ever since I looked at my oldest brother I begin to think about everything. Like what I'm losing when I leave…my friends…my family…the life I have had since I was eight…for ten years this is all I've known as home since my home has been taken away from me. If I fake sickness and death to fight for my own country, what will change inside of me when all of this is gone? I will be just fine, I tell myself.

IS THIS WHAT GALE FEELS?

I never expect gifts. Not once. Sarah got some for her 18th birthday too, but me? It just skipped my mind completely. I guess I was just so focus on my big decision.

Everything I got was nice. A sky blue sweater knitted from Beth's grandma, of course from Bethany, a picture taken of all of us girls on my house steps. Gale took it I remember, but Lizzie gave it to me. A book from Vick. A painted rock with seven people on it in the sun from Posy. A black and silver ring from Rory. This awesome skirt from Ma. The boys are gonna love me, though it's modest. A card with a train ticket for Friday in it from Sarah. And lastly a dark navy blue pendant on a gold chain from Gale. It's so amazingly beautiful and breathtaking, but it unravels me. Purple is my favorite color. Blue is his favorite color. Maybe it just to give me a piece to remember him by?

It makes me want to take about all those years where I neglected Gale and take him under my arm and share all the knowledge I know, in exchange for all the nonsensical knowledge he knows from who knows where. It makes me want to take back all the fights we've had and become closer. But it was too late for that…I can't change all those mistakes with my brother. Would he even let me?

Lizzie and Bethany practically beg me to go out and party some more with them. There's a Seam party going on…wouldn't be surprised to see Gale there…letting loose, dancing (he is an amazing dancer), and drinking. We have an agreement based off of a long time of I'm gonna tell mom(!) and quietly walking the drunk other into the house and crashing smashed against each other on the couch all night.

Sarah leaves right behind me to go search out for her friends. Since we will be leaving soon for whatever District we will be contracted too. I'm hoping the Capitol for the luxury, but Sarah wants the Capitol for hair dye. Can't figure that one out!

The party is in sight now. Its looks so fun! I don't see Gale; usually he's faster than me…even when we leave at the same time. I chuckle to myself at the thought of my dorky, silly, nerdy brother. Guess he decided to stay home tonight.

I came to let loose with my friends and maybe get drunk. Hopefully my trustfully brother will come and get me if I do.

"Let's go!" I whisper to Beth and Lizzie.

(Hazelle's POV)

All my lovely children have gone to bed, but my stress out skinny boy, Gale.

He's sitting on the couch, his legs curled underneath him. He's twisting his thumbs in a circle around each other. He head is bent, thoughtful, but I can see the strain in his shoulders and neck. I can almost feel the tension rolling off his body into the atmosphere.

I'm almost positive about what he's thinking about. Sarah and May leaving, and what side is he gonna choose when he becomes of age. I don't even have suspicions of what side he is gonna choose like I did with my oldest girls.

I walk slowly over to the couch, not to startle him. He's too deep in thought I don't want to scare him. I slowly sit down next to him and pull him under my arm, securely. I want my baby to be happy and safe.

"Gale, baby, what are you thinking about?" I whisper. He doesn't hear me. I repeat myself.

"Huh? What mom?" he looks up at me, his eyes are green with hints of violet in them tonight. His eyes have always amazed me; I don't know where he got them, sometimes grey/silver, sometimes violet, sometimes green, and sometimes blue. Amazingly beautiful.

"What are you thinking about?" I whisper a little louder this time.

"Nothing…" he breathes out. "Mom…what do I do when they're gone?" his breathing hitches.

"You carry on. Like you always have, like you always will. Just like your father. So much like your father." Tear brim my eyes and the back of them burn. He looks so much like his father. Looks like his father, acts like us both. I can't think of this now! I can't think about it!

"Mom, please don't cry. I'm sorry I look like him, I'm so sorry!" He voice is small but pleading.

"Never blame yourself for something you have no control on! You can't help what you look like. It only hurts sometimes – oh god I shouldn't have said that! – you are amazing and beautiful and should be nothing but you!

"…You know everything will be alright when they leave…And when you become of age in a few years, I want you to know that I will support you in any way possible. I don't care what side you choose, as long as you fight for the side that you believe in, not what we believe in."

"Mom? How can you choose to fight against Mrs. Everdeen? I'm just curious. I've always wondered." He asks shyly.

"Well, I met your father in Clock City, Royal Establishment and I have a feeling the mining accident wasn't an accident and I just want to live out Marcus's life for him…revenge his death."

"Oh. That make sense." He says quietly. I turn my head and kiss his temple. My little boy, curious thing, but so smart.

"Gale, you need to choose what's right for you, not what's right for everyone else. You need to do this for you and only you. Nobody else. Fight for the side you believe in and want to aid your help with.

"Gale, in war, there is no middle ground. You can't fight for both sides because that puts you in more danger than picking one side. When war comes, you are one side or the other. You can't be both." I sigh. I know he wants both, especially with all his questions."

He snuggles closer into my side and I feel bad to say I want to go to bed. Maybe a little while longer, since he's just so cute. He buries his nose into my collarbone. I run my fingers through his hair, knowing that he likes it. He sighs and takes a deep breath. His lanky arms wrap around my waist. He looks up at me with those eyes and long lashes and I can tell I've sorted out some of his thoughts and put him more at ease, but I can tell he wants to be alone, which I'm more than happy to go to bed and give him his space.

"Well…night." I quietly say goodnight.

"Goodnight." He yawns and his face scrunches up all cute, like his father's. If he's anything like his father, he won't go to sleep until he figures this out to a somewhat positive way. Good luck, Gale.

(Gale's POV)

Ma has gone to bed, but I can't. Sure I'm tired, but I can't go to sleep now! I'm heading in the right direction, how can I stop until I'm finished? I probably will fall asleep before I get done, but I will go until I can't anymore!

My mother is right…this is my decision. Not May's. Not Sarah's. Mine! It is my decision!

I probably spent the next hour just about Clock City, Royal Establishment. My home town. My home country.

I remember being like four or five years old and running around with my mates, Tyler, C.J., Alex, and Alec. Not having a care in the world. Just being me. Me with a different name, but me. God, do I miss them so much. It's not fair to have that ripped away from somebody, especially so young like me. I was only five years old and ripped away from everything I've known to this, fire and destruction. That's not me, but I don't know who me is anymore. I just don't.

And my friends! What will happen to them? If I choose Royal Establishment, will they forgive for my choice and still hang in there with me? Or completely drop me or going against them? They have to understand that this is my home country, right? But what if my home country is wrong?

They don't need more land. I'm so not sorry to say it, but before the world fell and rose again, Great Britain lost against America. Why do they need it when they lost once? Why wait over 2,000 years, give or take? Why? Where does the line draw? Where does it stop…but then again, where does it begin…?

Now this is why my choice is divided. I want to fight for my home country, but what have they done for me in the last ten years? Nothing, they haven't even tried to save the families that got stuck here! What if they're wrong?

And what about Panem? They deserve a fighting chance too! They won't even know what hit them. Our government here is so corruptive that we could never win against Royal Establishment.

Since when did I refer to Panem as "our" and "we?"

Images of Thom, Jerry, Katniss, Bethany, Rory, Vick, Posy, and Madge pop into my head. But images of Tyler, C.J., Alex, and Alec also pop into my head. What group is more important to me?

Should I have kept them all at arm's length?

They always tell me to not get too close to the people here, but how can I not!? I need someone that's not my noisy family. I need someone to have fun with, to get drunk with, to talk about girls with, to eat lunch with, to mess around with during class, to pass notes with, to bull shit with? What would I be without them? Alone?

I'm more open to seeing both sides this way. It makes my decision so much harder, but it makes sure I pick the right side! Not just the one for me, but for the ones that deserve to win. That's the side I want to be on.

My chest feels heavy again. Like a mountain is sitting there. Sharp, jagged rocks digging into my skin, letting me know just how much more serious this decision is.

Imagine: the Grand Canyon, your friends on one side, beckoning you to come and enjoy life and fight for them…and your family on the other side, standing tall and proud with millions behind them and very little on your friends' side. Which would you choose? The underdogs'? Or tall and powerful side? Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Is there a right and wrong side, or are both sides wrong?

That's all I can think about. Them on different sides… You feel like you have to be on your family's side, but you don't want to abandon your friends; the one's that been with you through thick and thin? But what if you have friends on both sides? One never lived where you lived for more than half your life? Where's your loyalty when there's no middle ground?

Where's my loyalty?

Where will I go if I choose Panem and not Royal Establishment?

What does that make me if I don't choose my home country?

Where do I stand? Where do my family and friends stand to me?

Am I alone, or supported?

Where's my loyalty?

I don't know. That's it…I just don't know…

But my mother…she said she would support me through it all. She will support me any way possible. I have her no matter what. I smile at that.

Not more than 3 minutes later does May come home. She's slightly buzzed, but looks sane enough. Enough to have a normal conversation.

"Gale Hawthorne, can I ask you a question?" she slurs a little. Maybe a little more than buzzed but not drunk.

"Sure?" It comes out a question.

"How do you feel if I leave with Sarah? Honest answer, Gale. I'll know if you're lying."

"I don't want either of you to go." I whisper. I don't want to get the tipsy girl mad at me. Not after the last time. "I want you to stay." I look down.

She takes it completely wrong. C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E.L.Y.

"How dare you!" she points her finger in my face from across the room, "How dare you tell me to not fight for my country! How dare you! How dare you suggest to me to fight for the wrong side! How. Dare. You. Don't. You. Ever. Suggest. That."

Anger boils in my stomach. I can't contain it tonight, not tonight. She needs to know this and she needs to know it NOW!

"How dare me!? How dare you! I wasn't suggesting that! Nothing like that! And now that you brought that up, is there really a wrong side?" I growl the last part at her. She looks shocked. "There may be no right or wrong side! May! How idiotic are you!? Answer me!"

"Royal Establishment is right, you'll see your own stupid mistakes someday too!" she screams back at me. I can't believe no one has woken up yet.

"What if I choose differently than you." My voice is quieter. Much quieter.

"You won't. You're too much of a wimp too, and you know just as much as I do that Panem is wrong and Royal Establishment is right." She growls at me. I'm her prey and she's the predator. And Vice Versa. "Gale you're just in the in between stage, you don't understand yet. You'll come around." She steps towards me. I gulp.

Please don't repeat last time when you were drunk. Please don't hit me. Please don't abuse me. Please…

"Mom supports me!" I blurt. She freezes in her tracks. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "Why can't you?" I slowly back away from her. She takes a step closer to me. I take two steps back. A few more and I'll be pressed against the wall. She takes two long strides before my brain can register what's happening.

Her hand comes in connect with my flesh. I wince. Fear evident in my eyes. A smirk crosses her face.

I know what's coming.

And it's too late to stop it…

I frown.

Her small hands push me, sending me stumbling against the wall. My head hitting the hardest. Her hands grip my shirt and slam me into the wall. She slaps me again, this time against the other cheek.

"She has to say that! She DOESN'T, Gale. She only has to say that!" Her breathing is uneven, but so is mine. "Don't be stupid! You're not looking at it straight. GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT GALE FREAKING HAWTHORNE! GET IT STRAIGHT BEFORE IT'S TOO FREAKING LATE!"

"My head is straight, May. I just haven't made my decision." She slams me into the wall again.

"Traitor! You are a freaking traitor! You're a terrorist and a traitor!" she screams into my face. Tears prick my eyes, but I push them down. I cannot show fear in a situation like this. Not with her. Not with a drunk.

I feel like running away from all this. Where no one can yell at me and tell me I'm stupid. Where I can be me and no one judges me. I want to decide this on my own, but I feel like my decision has already been made for me. I never had the decision, did I?

Pressure builds up my chest and behind my eyes. A few tears slip hotly down my face. My lips curl into a crying, scared position. I can already feel the bruises forming under my skin.

She is putting so much pressure on me to choose right now. Three years, May, three years I have. And you'll be gone and it won't matter what I choose, you'll never know. Ha! She's completely telling me my opinions don't matter and that I'm having no choice. But I do, don't I?

She yells at me more. "Traitor" and "terrorist" and "stupid idiot" fly around the room at me. She hits and slaps as hard as she can when she gets the chance or feels like it. She is scaring the hell out of me.

"Why can't you just support me like mom!" I finally just lash out at her. It probably wasn't the smartest idea. Smack! The sound of flesh hitting flesh is heard for the billionth time this night. My face burns. "Will you just stop pressuring me into something I have years to decide!? I don't even understand all of this yet. And you're pressuring me." a sob escapes my chest, "Why can't you just support me, like I supported you. No questions asked. No pushing for one side. Fully your decision and no one else's." I ask deadly calm.

She doesn't apologize for yelling or hitting me. She doesn't say a word, and I don't know if that's good or bad.

A glint in her eye tells me everything. She's out to win.

She stalks out of the room and appears with our tired, sleepy mother. She raises her voice at mother. She tells her to tell me that she will never fully support me if I don't choose Royal Establishment.

She pulls me against her and squeezes me against her chest. I bury myself against her, letting the tears spill. May's words float around my head. I feel like I'm suffocating and pressured. I can't make this decision now. I can't. It's too hard. It wouldn't be rational.

"Gale, honey, I'd like you to choose Royal Establishment, but it is your choice. Fully your choice and no one else's. You need to do what's right for you and no one else." She kisses the top of my head. "Only for you." She whispers into my hair. "I will never intentionally harm you, son, never."

I rip away from my mother's grasp. She reaches for me again. I back away. I just stare. At her. How dare she lie to me! I thought I had her on my side! Supportive, my ass!

I run as fast as I can, out of the house, around the corner, all the way into town. It's two in the morning. It's very dangerous to be out this late with peacekeepers breathing down your neck. I don't care.

Running begins to clear my head.

I'm afraid this isn't my decision anymore. What if it isn't? I can't get that out of my head.

I slow down and start jogging, which turns into a slow walk. I just have to breathe.

I must have been making the same loop for hours because I see the Mayor's daughter, Madge, looking out the large glass window in her living room. She watches me every time I got around. She probably thinks I'm stalking her.

Peacekeepers seem to notice me too. They don't make a move at me. Darius tries to talk to me, but I blow him off. I can't talk right now. I need to be by myself and that's exactly what I'm doing. Being by myself.

Thom's house comes into view again. Someone steps outside and stands on the porch, and then another.

"Gale Hawthorne? What are you doing up this late wondering around the District? Get in here!" Thom's dad, Robert, calls. Thom must be beside him.

My suspicions are correct. Thom wraps his arms around my shoulders and guides me into the house. They make up the couch for me and pull out a spare comforter out of the closet and wrap it around my shoulder and set me down on the couch. Mr. Grayland hooks his arm under my knees and spins me around to lie down and wraps the blanket tightly around me.

"Now I don't know why you were wandering around the District for two hours, but you can stay as long as you need, Gale. You're always welcomed here."

A/N: GALE WILL BE HAPPY VERY SOON FOR ALL YA GAGDE LOVERS! I'M WITH YA! Sorry, Madge is only mentioned in this chapter, though in like chapter 2 or 3 it will be full on Gadge for awhile with the snippets of Gale's family and how their doing in different Districts. I promise you they won't take up much space. If you would rather see them not have parts in the chapters say so in the comments. I DO NOT promise not having different POV'S in the chapters, but it will be mostly Gale or Madge.

P.S. Chapters will never be this long probably ever again. Please stick with me! I'm begging you!