The Phantom of the Spandex
"Wow, I can't believe the Phantom's finally gone." said Christine to Raoul, searching through her clothes.
"Yes, he is presumed dead, which makes everyone a great deal happier." Raoul strode up by Christine and started staring at Christine's clothes pervertedly.
"Ahmen. He was the most ugly annoying fop I've ever seen. Wait, that's you. And wait, you're in the room!" said Christine. But Raoul being the stupid little fop he is, he didn't hear a word of it.
"Huh. Wow. Very interesting." he droned on, not really paying attention to anything. "Hey, Christine! What's this?" He picked up some spandex, which must've been unknown in his inferior mind.
"That's called spandex. Men look really hot in them. Hey, you should wear them!" she said mischeviosly.
So he did. He strode around the room in them, showing off how 'good' he looked in them.
"Wow, these are so good, I think I'll order all the people in the OPera Populaire to wear spandex from now on!"
"Do you even have the authority to do that?" Christine asked, not wanting to be seen in anything as humiliating as spandex.
"Yes, If you call blackmail the authority!"
So he blackmailed Andre and Firmin into making everyone wear spandex.
"Christine, did you see Carlotta?" asked Meg, using a towel to drape around her legs.
"I thank God I didn't."
"It's just about the sickest thing I've ever-" At that moment Piangi strode infront of them. And I know Piangi's supposed to be dead, but I feel like having all of the cast here! Christine and Meg ran into the restroom and barfed up about half their bodyweight.
One day at a rehearsal for some opera that has nothing to do with the story the Phantom appeared, noticing the new Spandex craze sweeping the Opera Populaire.
"What is the cause of all these blue stretchy pants that everyone is wearing and seems to enjoy so very much?" he demanded, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.
"Gasp, it's the Phantom opf the OPera!" they all murmured, as they are all dumb.
"Do not tremble, foolish little people that fear me. I have just came to join you in your 'hip' style. Now, where can I get these pants that I want so very, very much?"
"Ask Raoul. He's the one who got us into all of this."muttered Christine, glaring at Raoul.
"Monsiuer, I will give you a pair of these pants. They are called Spandex, and according to Little Lotte, they are really hot on men."
So the Phantom got a pair of spandex, as everyone else. They all lived happily, spandex-ily, mad at Raoul-ly after.