Valediction, a thor fanfic

Author's Notes: There is no explaining this. This is terrible, inexcusable, and downright awful. This is also wonderful, heartfelt, and angst-a-licious. Please, do not read this head canon that makes no sense to the outside world. Please, please, please, just walk away.

SHUT UP PAN, THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.

Project Technicolored Underground Presents:

Valediction

by SpaceBunny-chan

When Adelaide had left Midgard she had accepted that she was leaving just about everything she knew behind; her business, her friends, her family, everything that was normal. There were days when she missed the smell of old books, or the random nature of her mother's careful prodding into her life, or trying to keep Rebecca and Jeff from politely killing one another. It had been so long, she had even fallen into referring to Earth as Midgard, something that made living in one of the nine realms a little easier.

She never regretted that one moment of insanity when she had given up everything and run off with her God of Mischief boyfriend to Jotunheim.

But there were times when, for just a moment, she felt a worry of guilt.

"It's beautiful here…"

Adelaide looked up sharply from her Complete Works of Douglass Adam, one o f the few possessions to follow her from Midgard to Jotunheim, to stare at the blonde man sitting beside her. Carefully, she closed the book as if to keep from shattering the scene. She had heard him just fine, but it had been so long since she had heard him say anything without prompting that she just needed to be sure. "Steve?"

"I guess… I just…" He looked confused, his blue eyes unfocused from the world outside the window. The courtyard was painted in abstract white, flowing off of a fountain and dancing from the open sky. "Haven't looked until now."

"Tell me," Adelaide began softly, standing and moving to be a little closer to him. "What do you see?"

"I see… time standing still." Steve slowly let go of every word, and Adelaide treasure each one shared with her. The super soldier let go a breath of tension, as if he had been holding it for years. "I wish I had more time."

"Steve-"

"I know it's selfish, but I-" Steve continued on as if not hearing her, enough to kill the words in her throat. "I just wish we had had more time."

"No, Steve." There was so much emotion hidden behind the statement Adelaide could have wept. Instead she knelt beside the blonde, taking one of his hands into her own. She smoothed the wrinkles with her thumb, trying to turn back the clock. "No one deserves more time."

"I miss Tony, but I know we'll be together again soon."

She knew he wasn't listening- or rather, couldn't hear her. Steve Rogers was somewhere far away, where he had been for some time now far away from her. Where he was now she knew she couldn't reach him, and her eyes welled with tears. She would not let herself run away with the emotion knotting in her stomach. Instead, she would take strength from the peace coming off of Steve like a warm flame in winter. She would be strong for him, and decided to do what she had done for the past six months and just be in his company.

Some hours later, Adelaide leaned heavily back against the door to her chambers. They had spent the rest of the day in silence, or something close to it. There was not a word spoken between them aside from Steve's quiet comments. She had stopped trying to bring him back, because she knew it was not what he needed. He needed a friend, but it was not an easy thing to do and left her completely weak.

"Adelaide?"

She stopped trying to hide her exhaustion behind her hands, wiping at her tears with as much secrecy as she could muster. Her husband knew better, staring at her in alarm at the action. She smiled, and her lips twitched with resistance. "Loki…"

Loki, God of Mischief and King of Jotunheim, was across the room in an instant. He pulled his wife against his chest before she could put up her barriers to retreat behind. Adelaide was very still, holding her breath and trying very hard to keep everything raging within her from spilling over. She could hide many things from the rest of the world. But all her smoke and mirrors never worked on him, and certainly did nothing to conceal this much pain. "What's wrong, love?"

"He's-" Adelaide's voice broke on a pitiful sob, tears fighting to be free from her eyes. Loki's grip around her tightened, a hand at the small of her back securing her to him. "I'm losing him. He's dying and I- there's nothing- I- I can't-"

She dissolved into nonsense in his arms, babbling and weeping about things that were beyond her control.