New story! I'm very excited about writing this and I hope you all will be as excited to read it. Please read and enjoy! :)
Olivia sat in her apartment that night, thinking about the last two months of her life. Thinking about Brian. Thinking about Lewis.
Tears kept falling from her eyes. There were good days and bad days, like tonight. Bad days when all she could think about was those four days spent with Lewis. Bad days where all she wanted to do was cry. Bad days where she just wanted to quit on life.
She had great support from her squad and boyfriend but, it just wasn't enough. She feels empty. She feels lost.
The loud beep coming from her phone shook her from her deep thoughts. She picked up her phone to see a message from her boyfriend.
'Liv, sorry that I had to work so late. I wish I was there with you.' –Brian
Brian was supposed to spend the night with Olivia but, he had to work late. She didn't mind because today was a bad day and all she wanted to do was cry. Cry about nothing and everything.
She pressed the reply button. 'It's okay. I'm heading to bed anyways. Goodnight.' –Liv
She kept it short so he doesn't ask questions.
Her phone started ringing. She sighed when she saw his name appear across the screen. She took a deep breath. "Brian," she said as a hello.
"Hey baby, is everything okay? It's only eight o'clock and you're already heading to bed?" he asked, concerned.
"I'm fine, Brian. I just had a long day at work," she lied. She didn't want him to know she was crying. She didn't want him to worry about her.
He nodded even though she couldn't see him. "How was your therapy session today?" he asked.
She sighed. She didn't like talking about therapy. "It was fine, as always Brian. Listen you should probably get back to work," she told him, not in the mood to talk.
"Uh yeah, okay. I just missed you and wanted to see how you were doing but, I'll let you get some sleep."
She closed her eyes, feeling bad for how she's been treating him. "I'm sorry Bri, I'm just really tired."
"No it's okay. I'll just talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you."
She smiled. "I love you too, Brian," she said and with that she hung up.
Brian hung up and looked at his phone. He knew she wasn't okay but, he didn't want to push her into talking about it. It was really getting to him because he just wanted to help her. He just wanted her to be the same Olivia Benson he fell in love with. He knew how much she was hurting but, it was so frustrating when she keeps pretending like she's okay when everyone knows she's not. He just wants her to be okay.
Olivia walked into her bedroom and lay in bed. She wasn't tired but, she wanted to go to sleep so she can just forget everything for a few hours. Even though she wasn't sleeping much because of the nightmares, it's still a few hours that she can just forget. She laid in bed thinking about Brian. He's been so supportive this whole time and she's been treating him like he doesn't matter. He always wants to see her and be with her when they're not at work but, she always makes excuses because she wants to be alone. He's always calling and texting her just to check up on her and just to say hi. He's really trying to be there for her but; she was making it so difficult.
The next morning, Olivia woke up at 8 am. She was very surprised that she slept the whole night. The only times she would get sleep was when Brian was sleeping next to her. She's been sleeping alone for the past two weeks. Brian would either be working or she would push him away and make up an excuse as to why he can't see her. They haven't seen each other in 6 days.
Olivia got out of bed and started getting ready for work when she heard her phone beep. It was Brian.
"Good morning, babe. I hope you're feeling better today and i hope you have a better day at work. I wanted to know if you wanted to get together tonight? I have the night off and I really miss you.' –Brian
She smiled at the cute message. He always knew how to make her smile. He would send her good morning texts and texts just to let her know he was thinking about her.
'Good morning. I'm actually feeling a lot better this morning. I don't know how long our case will be so I'll let you know if I'm free tonight.' –Liv
Brian smiled seeing that she wasn't making excuses as to why they can't get together tonight. Maybe she was finally starting to open up to him.
'Sounds good to me. Have fun at work while I relax ;)' –Brian
Olivia laughed at her boyfriend.
'Jerk :(' –Liv
'Love you :D' –Brian
She rolled her eyes. 'Yeah whatever. I'll call you later.' –Liv
He joked: 'Tell me you love me :(' –Brian
She laughed and shook her head. 'Fine, I love you.' –Liv
She quickly got ready then went to work. She really wanted to see Brian tonight so she hoped they would be able to leave early.
They had a case involving little children and the whole squad was on edge, especially Olivia. This case was really getting to her. They've spent hours chasing leads and it lead them nowhere.
By 8 pm, Cragen saw how frustrated they were getting. He told the five detectives to head home while other detectives worked on the case. They all objected but, Cragen wasn't having it. They obliged and went home.
Olivia got home and was not in the mood to see her boyfriend. She just hoped he would understand.
'Brian, I know we were supposed to get together tonight but, I had a really rough day at work. I just want to be alone for the night.' –Liv
Brian looked down at his phone and shook his head. He doesn't know why he's surprised. He should've expected this. It has been six days since they last saw each other and he was pissed. He's been trying so hard for the past two months and he feels like she's completely shutting him out.
'It's been 6 days Olivia. It's nice to know you don't miss me like I miss you.' –Brian
Olivia was changing into sweats and a tank top when she heard her phone beep. She walked into the living room, where her phone was, and picked up her phone. She closed her eyes and sighed as she read his message. She knew he would be mad.
She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to fight with him. Not tonight. Not ever but, especially not tonight. She was already fragile as it is.
It's been 10 minutes since she read his message. She didn't know what to say to him.
She hears her phone ring and she knows it's him. She wanted so badly to ignore it but, she knew he didn't deserve that.
She took and deep breath before she answered. "Hey," she greeted quietly. She knew he was mad. She was just hoping he wouldn't fight with her.
"What is this, Olivia? If you don't want to be with me then let me know. I'm sick of trying only to have you shut me out and make stupid excuses."
She could tell by his tone that he was ready for a fight. "Of course I want to be with you, Brian-"
He cut her off. "You really make it seem that way by how you keep trying to avoid me."
"Please don't fight with me right now," she said weakly with tears coming down her face. She was already an emotional wreck and she didn't need this from her boyfriend.
He could tell she was crying. "Call me when you want to talk."
Olivia listened to the dial tone after he hung up. She put her phone down and buried her face in her hands. She was ruining everything.
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