This is a serious fic that contains sexual violence. Anyone who is easily offended or underage should NOT read this fic. Remember, this is rated R after all.

I've been toying with the idea of this fic for a long time but it wasn't until recently that I summoned the courage to actually start writing it. I actually had a really hard time with this chapter because...well...it's traumatizing for me to write. It's a scary subject.

Shikamaru: think how I feel about it! CRANKY Don't ever let Ino see this fic! She'll kill me!

I decided to star shikaino in this fic because they're the cute couple no one would ever suspect of being used in this type of fic.

I want to say that Shikamaru is NOT that type of guy. He would NEVER commit that type of crime.

Shikamaru: DAMN STRAIGHT!

Poor Shika...it's not his fault that a Shikaino fan was in the mood for a dark fic. ;;;

Shikamaru: I don't like this fic! It scares me!

;; it scares me too Shika-kun. I really had a hard time writing this chapter. I felt so darn guilty. T-T ARGH SO GUILTY! I feel so bad!!! Like I committed a horrible sin! My feeling of guilt has been having a field day with me ;;; SIGH I'm so weird that I'm always embarrassed by my own writing. Anyways, I'm a new writer who's a big fan of shikaino and Naruto doesn't belong to me. (wish it did though)

p.s. I don't want any flames because I DID warn you. If you don't like this fic, don't read it!

No Road To Redemption

Ch.1 Happy Birthday, My Sweet: Take What You Will From Me

For thousands of years, the Kyuubi has lived in the world of man. When he was only a kit of a few thousand years old, he took on the form of a beautiful woman and became the empress of a Chinese emperor and single- handedly brought down the entire dynasty. What could he say? Man was a foolish species. They were easily manipulated because they readily played into any false promises that appealed to their selfish desires. It was always the same things too. They wanted wealth, power, and sex. The only variation among people when it comes to these wants was the order they desired it in. No matter how much humans fancied that they were an evolved being, the truth was, they're no better than the lower tiered animals that knew nothing other than to fill their bellies. These hairless monkeys disgusted him for they had no redeeming qualities.

He didn't come to this conclusion out of some sort of superior complex or ignorant racism that blinded him to the virtues of the human race. No, it wasn't like that. For all of his sentient life, he's watched and observed the humankind quietly in the background while they did their thing. He saw how humans sent legions of themselves to other lands and slaughtered both young and old of either sex for something as insignificant as a piece of land that can't even truly by owned by anyone. He saw how something as inconclusive as religious belief justified them to kill each other without mercy. The funniest thing of all was, the heavenly beings whose name the war was waged in had looked away in disgust when these crusaders drove their swords into the hearts of their fellow man. These human fools were devoid of love. He wasn't talking about the type of love that people spoke with their lips unthinkingly. He was talking about love. True love didn't exist among the humans. They knew physical love, lustful love, and the false love of parents who wants to preserve their genes. If he remembered correctly, it was lustful love that brought down that Chinese dynasty so many years ago.

How can there be true love in a species that was innately so self-hating? Humans sold other humans into servitude while they laughed with glee at the little bit of money they got in return for priceless lives. They held silly notions such as people of another skin color were inferior or the female sex that continued the species were meant to follow subserviently in the shadow of the male sex. They made too big of a deal over the 0.1% genetic differences between them that gave each human a different phenotype. But of course they did. This was the species that enjoyed raping women and children in war because they could justify it. This was the species that can justify anything to quell their voice of conscience.

Now he, the Kyuubi, can feel nothing but shame because it is in the body of a child of one of these creatures that he is trapped in. He of the infinite wisdom is now reduced to an endless pool of chakra for the boy to use at his will. It wasn't fair. This wasn't meant to happen. He was supposed to be free to roam wherever he pleases and do whatever he wished until the end of time when everything, including himself, ended. Although he's only been trapped for a mere few years, he was already feeling claustrophobically restless. Tonight, he will finally get the chance to taste a bit of freedom, however restrained it may be. While his boy vessel sleeps without defense on this special night, the energy of the earth and the alignment of the stars will allow this ageless nine-tailed fox to have one last bit of fun.

Inciting discord within the human population had always been his specialty.

&&&&&&

Her laughter rang clearly in the dark of night when the streets were empty and only the moon lit the path they walked on. It was obvious by the sway in her steps that she was a bit drunk. She walked ahead of her male companion, swinging her arms with each step like a happy child. Wine had made her completely carefree.

Shikamaru who walked behind her, watched her with concerned eyes while he made sure she didn't get too far away from him. He hurried protectively up to her side when it looked like she was about to fall. True to his prediction, she leaned to one side and continued to tip without stopping in that direction. He quickly held out his arms and caught her in a cautious embrace. Ino, who went completely limp in his arms, lolled her head forward until it pressed against his chest in an intimate manner. With their close proximity, he was afraid that she would be able to hear the rapid rate of the nervous pounding of his heart.

"Mendokusee onna...and you said you didn't need any help." He scolded her. "Like I said before, you're in no condition go walk home by yourself."

She giggled again and nuzzled his chest affectionately. With the movement of her eager nuzzling, her hair swayed to-and-fro, fanning the sweet fragrance that clung to the golden locks to his nostrils.

"Mouuuu Shikaaa you're sucha worrywart!" She mumbled against his chest. "I'm a ninja! I can take care of myself! By the way........have I wished you a happy birthday yet?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Only about every other minute." He replied. It was obvious that Ino couldn't handle her alcohol. She didn't even drink that much tonight. He looked up at the dark blue-black sky dotted with golden stars that looked like jewels woven into a velvet tapestry and wondered contently, why he was doomed to love a silly woman like Ino for the rest of his life. She didn't even know how his feelings for her had evolved from friendship into something more. What a troublesome situation he was in.

He was frightened out of his reverie when Ino suddenly threw her arms around him. "Thank you for a great party!" She squealed. "I had tons of fun!"

Shikamaru's eyes started to turn upwards to the sky again. "I didn't set up the party."

"Hnnn?" Ino wasn't really listening.

"I said," he tried again. "I didn't set up the party. My dad did. What a pain it was....I didn't want a party. It was too troublesome."

Ino pulled away and grinned at him in a foolish attempt to look evil. "Feeling your age?" She asked teasingly. "You only turn twenty-one once so you SHOULD celebrate it!" She winked at him then spun around on her heels. He could only gawk pink-faced at the young blonde's retreating back as she skipped further down the street like some ethereal pixie. For a while, he stood there and felt self-consciously shy. Eventually, he managed to slowly recover from her display of adorable behavior and remembered that they were still very much like children, even if he was twenty-one now.

"Don't run so fast!" Shikamaru called out as he quickened his steps into a slow jog. As he hurried after the Ino, the image of the longhaired dancing girl was reflected in his dark eyes. He was admiring how her blond locks seemed to float in the air with each of her skips when without warning, an unsettled feeling came over him. The last thing he saw before everything went black was the silvery white reflection of the moonlight off her golden strands.

&&&&&

He was waking up slowly, his brain taking it's sweet time before functioning properly. The first thing he noticed was the overwhelming coppery smell of blood that invaded his nostrils. Within the thick stench of old blood, he could detect the odor of another fluid. At the moment, his mind was too muddled to recall the identity of the faint but strangely familiar smell. His head was pounding. It hurt too much to open his eyes. He knew he wasn't home but he had no idea where he could be. Was he in immediate danger? Had he been kidnapped? Did enemy ninjas attack?

Shikamaru shifted his body slightly, his muscles trembled with fatigue at the small movement. In his new position, he caught a fragrance that he had missed in his previous observation. The raw stink of blood was tinged with something sweet, a scent that meant something important to him. Bells of alarm went off in his head. Ino! It was Ino's scent.

With a surge of power, he raised his body with a badly executed push-up and opened his eyes. Underneath him, he saw, was the unconscious body of Ino. He would have assumed that she was sleeping peacefully if it weren't for her sickly pallor, the bruised cut on her lower lip, and the drying tears on her cheeks. It was all frightening for Shikamaru but it wasn't until later on that he would discover what he saw wasn't the brunt of the damage. Shikamaru didn't discover what was truly terrifying until he rolled his body off Ino and his.............

male sexual organ slid out from between her completely bare, blood and fluid covered legs.

He quickly covered his mouth and gagged. He remembered what the other odor was. It was his semen.

He slowly lowered his wide eyes down to look at his hands and saw they were trembling violently. The hands that were connected to arms covered in fresh, red scratches and bite marks shook in disgust at what they had done. These hands must have done the job of holding Ino down while he......he couldn't finish the thought. Shikamaru knew without looking that if he checked Ino's hands, his blood and skin would be under her nails. At that notion, another wave of nausea crashed over him violently. The muscles of his abdomen were seized by spasms while he dry heaved a few times. It took him a long time before he could bring himself to even decide to look at the unconscious woman.

His eyes had started to turn towards where she lay a few times but each time, his courage fled from him before his eyes could itself fix upon her abused body. This had to be a nightmare, he decided. He was at home, sleeping in his bed, having a horrific nightmare that will be nothing more than a vague memory after he wakes up. After he wakes up, he'll find that everything is still all right and Ino is unhurt.

Shikamaru curled into a ball and hugged himself tightly as he prayed with all his heart to wake up. It just couldn't be reality for him. His brain wasn't able to deal with the shock of it all. Apprehension almost froze him as his eyes struggled to flicker towards Ino. Then, he took charge of his body, steeled himself for what he was about to see, and forced his eyes to confront what was reality.

Blood, brutally torn off shreds of clothing, and among it all, laid the bruise-laden body of the woman who would hate him forever.

His eyes took in the entire sight, focusing on the injuries on her barely dressed body and the way she laid as still as death. He bit into the inside of his left cheek, eyes widening in terror at a thought as the wound filled his mouth with blood. It just occurred to him that Ino might be dead.

He scrambled forward on his hand and knees. "Please be alive.." He begged anxiously over her unmoving body. The edges of his vision blackened as his body threatened to shut down in distress. "Please.." He pleaded.

Tears blurred his eyesight and spilled out over the edges in heavy drops. He ignored the fuzzy gray blinking dots swimming before his eyes when he gently brushed the tears off her cheeks. His hands were still quivering when he placed a finger under her nose.

No words can describe the amount of relief that flooded over him when the feeling of warm gusts of wind caressed his finger. She was alive.

Now that he was sure she was alive, he moved away from her again. A monster like him didn't deserve to be near her. Salty tears leaked from his eyes and crept down his cheeks. He was crying. He was crying out of relief that Ino was alive, out of hate for himself, and most of all, he cried for the sense of well being that he knew Ino would never possess again.

His entire frame rocked with choking sobs as the flow of tears became heavier. He was having trouble with catching his breath since his violent crying refused to let his chest relax enough to take in a full breath. Remorse, he was so filled with remorse. He had absolutely no recollection of exactly what happened but there was no denying that he was the culprit. Guilt was eating him up from the inside like an insatiable creature. It consumed his heart, leaving an empty black pit in its wake. He was unable to think rationally. All his analytical abilities were crushed under the weight of his sin.

His hands clenched into fists tightly while his teeth made grinding sounds. A tear dropped off from the tip of his nose and onto his white knuckles. Shikamaru suddenly looked up at the still dark sky. The stars no longer sparkled like divine jewels. They, the witnesses of his crime, blinked coldly at him with their hateful light. The jumbled feelings within him that made him wild with confusion also steadily sapped away his sanity. He felt all the tangled emotions so intensely that he knew had to release it somehow. He took in a deep breath and let loose a strangled howl of anguish into the night air. He tilted his face up to the cool night sky and continued to scream in horror. Fearful eyes stared at the sky until the stars started to melt into it's dark background and the world became pitch black. Shikamaru welcomed the darkness that swallowed him, saving him from himself with its sweet oblivion.

&&&&&

When he woke up, there was a world of gray before his eyes. It looked familiar. Of course it was. It was the early morning sky. He often watched the sky from the position on his back, admiring and envying the carefree clouds that floated by. Judging by the color of the heavens, he guessed it was about four a.m. in the morning. He was pleasantly relaxed until memories of the night before jolted him into wakefulness when it deluged his brain. He sat up quickly.

"INO!"

He faced the spot she was laying at the night before and saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. It wasn't just the absence of Ino's person, but the shredded clothes were also missing. The blood and other bodily fluids that spilled onto the pavement were scrubbed clean into nonexistence.

Shikamaru started to doubt his recollection. Was it a dream? He did have a little bit to drink on his birthday. Maybe he passed out while walking Ino home and she left him there to sleep and have his trippy dream. Yes it was a dream. It must have been one. He started to laugh in relief. "I'll never drink again." He chuckled. He was still laughing quietly at himself when his eyes fell down to his lap.

He stared at his bloodstained groin. His pants was clinging barely below his hips. All thoughts disappeared. His mind was a white slate as he stared blankly down at himself.

For more than half an hour, he sat there vapidly, staring, blinking only when he remembered to. His brain had shut itself off again to hide from the harsh reality. It understood Shikamaru's need to retreat into his own mind, away from the real world. He could afford a little denial before he tackled the situation head-on.

When he finally felt ready, his eyes slowly came back into focus. By then, he already knew what he had to do. Shikamaru stood and pulled up his pants. The first thing he needed to do was to go home and clean himself off. He needed to talk to Ino but he didn't want to face her looking the way he did. The last thing he wanted was to traumatize her further.

From the way she cleaned up his crime scene, he knew she was ashamed even though she had no blame and didn't want anyone to find out what happened to her. It was perfectly natural. He'll take care of everything for her. After having a serious talk with her, he'll do whatever it is necessary to help her on the road to recovery. And he meant it. Whatever it is necessary. If killing him with her own hands could give her some satisfaction, he'll gladly sharpen a kunai for her. If she wanted him to suffer, he'll go borrow the torture set from Anbu Captain Morino Ibiki then she can torture him to her heart's content. If what she required from him didn't involve his death, then he'll turn himself in to the Hokage and confess his crime once he's sure there was nothing more he could do for Ino. It sounded like a plan to him.

Ino would never forgive him and he too, would never forgive himself. He should never forgive himself. If he was still a man, he'll face the consequences of his sin like a man. It was the only honorable thing left to do.

"Who am I joking...." He laughed bitterly. He had no honor. Would a man with any honor rape the woman he loves?

The first rays of dawn shone through the cracks in the clouds as he walked home as a changed man. The birthday boy was now a felon.

TBC (I'm so sorry Shika-kun! Somehow your redemption will come...........)

Rape is no joking matter. It is my personal opinion that all rapists deserve to be tortured for as long as possible until they die. I think rapists are the worst kind of criminal there is. They're not fit to suck the scum from underneath my shoes. So why did I write a rape fic involving Shikamaru and Ino? The cutest (once again my personal opinion) couple in all of Naruto?

Well...I did say I felt like writing something dark. I'd like it if I can write any type of fic (except supernatural horrors. I absolutely don't know how to write those. I'm also a very inexperienced writer because....I actually don't really write. LOL My Shikaino fandom prodded me into activity)

Another reason is that I want to stick Shikaino fic into a radically different genre.

Most important reason is, I'm sick of rape fics written by teenyboppers who think women just miraculously recover from the trauma one paragraph later and marries the hero of the fic and lives happily ever after. In my fic, the hero (sweet, loving, easy-going Shikamaru) is also the criminal (although he can't remember how it happened because he blacked out).

I can't give any spoilers but I promise the ending is happy. How is that possible you ask? Nobody can recover from a betrayal such as that! Yes, that's true........but...I promise. This fic will have a happy ending. Even if it seems cheesy because I'm a sucker for happy endings LOL.

Personally, I don't much enjoy giving author comments because I think its pretty pointless but a friend warned me that if I don't try to explain my fic, my mailbox will be cluttered with flames from people who don't understand. Well I've explained it. Once again, if you don't like this fic, just don't read it. Flames are so annoying and mendokusai. I haven't much felt like writing recently but as soon as I do, I'm gonna work on my cute happy fic to counter this one LOL.

Till next time pplz

p.p.s I STILL feel so darn guilty and embarrassed blush. I'm really no good at this fic writing thing cuz I get embarrassed with my writing so easily LOL ;; Anywho, SHIKAINO FOREVER! waves banner