A Second Chance
By Arian
Author's note: You wouldn't believe how long it took me to write this! But just to warn you, it's depressing…
A lone figure stood on the deck of the Highwind, the breeze lifting his hair from the scarlet cape. Silently, he watched the last glimmers of sunlight leave the sky and shadows crawled across the land, far below. He sighed with relief. After the years he had spent in the cellar of the Shinra mansion in Nibelheim, he was more comfortable in darkness. Things were easier. For a while, he could forget what he was, what Hojo had made him.
It was over. The last traces of the Lifestream had dissipated back into the planet, leaving the land whole and new, as if Shinra, the meteor and Sephiroth had never existed.
Sephiroth… Lucrecia's child was dead and Vincent was one of the group who had killed him. It had to be done. It was a necessity. Sephiroth could not be allowed to sacrifice so many lives for power. The only way Vincent believed he could atone for not being able to stop the experiment that produced Sephiroth was to help Cloud and his friends find and kill him.
Where was Lucrecia? Had she felt her child die? She had once told Vincent that she wanted to die, but the Jenova cells in her body wouldn't let her. The hold those cells had on life was too powerful for her to overcome. Perhaps now Jenova was dead, Lucrecia would also be able to find peace.
"Lucrecia…" he whispered. "I'm sorry, forgive me."
***************
Cloud stood alone in Tifa's kitchen. The whole gang had split up. It felt strange after being together for so long and after all they had been through that they should now be separated.
Not all of them had left, but Cloud knew it was probably only a matter of time. Barrett was in Kalm with Marlene, and Cait Sith was taking care of the people of Midgar. Yuffie had taken her share of the materia back to Wutai, sulking, after finding that no one else was willing to give her their share as well. Vincent, as far as Cloud knew, was around here someplace and what he would do now was something of a mystery.
Cid and Red were still around for a few more days. Cid needed to fix up the Highwind before he flew back to Rocket Town and Red was catching a lift back to Cosmo Canyon. Shera was due to arrive any day with the spare parts Cid needed. After that, they would all be gone. Not that Cloud wanted them to leave, it was just that Tifa and him really needed to talk and somehow, with the others around, they never quite got the chance.
He walked back through to the living room and sat at a desk in the corner. He still had this letter to finish and it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. Letter writing wasn't really his style but it seemed like the right thing to do.
***************
Cid leaned against the wall, not far from the wrought iron gates of the Mansion, entirely at peace with the world. Everything was perfect. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth, reflecting on that thought. At least, everything would be perfect when that dumb mechanic finally got here. I want to fly the damned Highwind! Why does Shera have to ruin everything? Remembering the episode in space when Shera had managed to save his life, Cid tried to be a little more charitable in his thoughts about her and failed miserably.
Red XIII appeared from nowhere, startling the wits out of Cid.
"Cid…" Red began carefully, once the pilot had finished going through the list of every curse he knew. "Don't move too much and try to act casual. Look around at the top window of the Shinra Mansion. The second window along from the right."
Doing his best to follow Red's instructions, Cid twisted his head to the side and saw the silhouette of a woman framed against the light. "Who?" He asked.
Red shook his head and watched as the long-haired figure seemed to vanish from sight. Like a ghost… He thought. I'm not superstitious but I've seen more than the elders back home have been able to explain. A ghost…
Cid looked up at the old house, thoughtfully. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
Being as I'm not thinking about the Highwind, probably not. Red smiled to himself before answering Cid out loud. "Could it be… her?"
***************
He didn't know how long he sat there, trying to write, before Tifa walked in.
"Hey Cloud." She wandered over to the desk. "What are you doing?"
"I'm writing to Elmyra. Trying to tell her what happened." He paused and stood up. "She should know what Aeris did for us all."
"You don't need to do this." Tifa said softly. "You don't need to tell her. Barrett probably already did that."
"She deserves to hear it from me. I'm the one who was supposed to be protecting Aeris. Besides, I just don't trust Barrett to do it right."
Tifa laughed. "Nothing's changed there, then. But, seriously Cloud, you do know why Aeris did what she did, don't you?"
A grave expression crossed his face as he thought again about what had occurred in the depths of the City of the Ancients. Again he saw the smile on her face, even as she fell to the floor. "She thought it was wrong for Sephiroth to sacrifice the planet and all the lives on it. She didn't want people to die."
"No. She didn't want you to die. She did it for everyone, but especially for you."
Cloud hadn't thought of it that way before, and fell silent. Tifa suddenly pointed to the desk and laughed. "You really haven't written anything yet, have you? It's just blank paper!"
"I lacked inspiration." Cloud said dryly. "Glad you find it funny."
"The only ink I see, is on your cheek, here." Tifa smiled, and standing on tiptoe she reached up and rubbed the ink smudge off his face.
"Tifa…" Cloud began, slightly dizzy at her proximity, but he was quickly interrupted by a snigger. The pair spun around, like guilty schoolchildren, to see Cid and Red hovering just outside the doorway.
"We have some important news for you." Red informed them politely, entering the room fully as he spoke.
"If you ain't too busy…" Cid sniggered again.
"Well?" Cloud asked, slightly put out that they had interrupted at that particular moment.
"We were passing by the Shinra Mansion. We saw a silhouette in one of the windows." Red paused, almost hoping that Cid would butt in and save him the awkwardness. "It was a young woman, and she almost seemed to disappear before our eyes. No one goes in that place except for Vincent. There was something about that figure… Something didn't seem… normal. There was something…"
"What are you trying to say, Red?" Cloud asked wearily.
"We think it might've been Aeris." Red finally got to the point and the colour drained from Cloud's face. A faint hope began to shine in his eyes.
"Let's go check it out." He decided immediately and walked out, followed closely by the pilot and Red.
Tifa hung back for a while. Aeris? Alive or a ghost? She remembered that hope in Cloud's eyes and wished with all her heart that it was Aeris in that place. If it wasn't, then Cloud was building up all that hope for nothing and he had been hurt enough already.
"Tifa? Are you coming with us?" Cloud stuck his head back around the doorframe and the light that filled his face nearly broke her heart.
"Yeah. I'll be out in a sec." She collected herself and shut her eyes for an instant. Whatever happens… If he needs me, I'll be around, just like I've always been. If he doesn't, I'll just lurk in the shadows until he does.
***************
Vincent sat alone on a ledge, high in the mountains that towered over the tiny village. He didn't feel much like returning there, yet. He hated the quaint little houses and the single, unpaved street. He hated the way the sun made the stones look golden early in the morning. He used to love the atmosphere of the place, but that was a long time ago. Now, he hated the small town with a passion. It reminded him of the past… of the time he'd been a Turk who fell in love with one of the leading scientists on the Jenova project. It didn't matter where he went in Nibelheim or what he did, he saw Lucrecia everywhere. He connected everything with a memory associated with her and there was nothing that could quell that.
She was there every time he looked around and it cut him deeply, but he welcomed it. He stayed in Nibelheim to remind himself of what he had done. He had let Lucrecia marry Hojo and he had done nothing to prevent the dreadful experiment that resulted in Sephiroth.
Inside, he didn't feel he deserved the peace that forgetting could bring.
Despite Lucrecia's intelligence, she had still been blissfully unaware of how Hojo's mind worked. She had no idea how ruthless he could be and Vincent had simply not thought to warn her. She had still been a naïve young girl, who had risen too quickly through the ranks of her fellow scientists to be one of the best.
Vincent relived his idiotic mistakes over and over. Whenever he slept, all those moments ran constantly through his mind, a bittersweet taste of the past and a reminder of all that he had lost.
Now, more than ever, he dwelt on Lucrecia's fate. Where was she? There had been no sign of her at the waterfall cave she had made into her home. He had hoped to find her there, perhaps simply because they were the only two left from the Jenova project, they were the only Jenova infused beings left.
Vincent's forehead crinkled as he thought about that. It was entirely possible that Cloud also contained Jenova cells, but Vincent really wasn't sure what had happened to Cloud anymore.
His thoughts returned to quickly to Lucrecia, just as they always did. He tried to suppress the gleeful voice inside that yelled his reason for wanting to find her. She was the only one whose opinion truly mattered to him, and, if she could somehow forgive all the dreadful mistakes he had made, perhaps he could find it in his soul to forgive himself.
He had wallowed in his misery and regret for many years now. He was drowning in it. But it was Lucrecia and only her that could throw him a lifeline. There was no one else.
Maybe she would want him to die, once she found out that he'd helped to kill her son. In his morbid frame of mind, that thought struck Vincent as a happy one. Whatever Lucrecia wanted from him, he would be more than happy to oblige.
Having renewed his resolve, Vincent stood, driven far more by his obsessive all-consuming love for the scientist than any of his nicely thought-out reasons. He would find Lucrecia.
Turning from the ledge to walk away, he felt the rocks crumble under his feet and a sick feeling of dread rose up in his stomach. With nothing to grab hold of but the air that rushed past him, Vincent closed his eyes peaceably and pictured a face. A face with childish features and brown hair pinned high away from her face. But her eyes… Enormous brown eyes, so dark they were almost black… and then Vincent saw only the blackness.