My only sunshine.
Their eyes met for a long moment, everything else disappearing. Then, with the hand not holding her arm length knife, she laced her fingers through the back of his hair and pulled his face to hers. Ten perfect seconds before she yanked away, running toward the wreckage, toward the demonic mastermind who'd managed to manipulate their team into ripping itself apart.
Dean lurched forward, trying to follow her, and only then did he notice the iron cuffs holding him to the pipe behind him. He watched as his best friend disappeared through the warehouse doors, not looking back once as she marched to certain death.
The next two months were the worst of his life. Dean had literally been to hell and back, and this was worse. That girl had had nearly two years to work her way into his life, into his heart, until she'd become the most important person in his life. She'd joined his brother and himself on their neverending trip around the country, battling for their lives at every corner. She'd proved her strength, saved both of their lives multiple times, until the three of them and their angel had become an unstoppable fighting team, ridding the world of its demons one at a time.
Then, a few well placed demons and beasts around Dean and his brother, and she'd gone running into the enemy's grasp, saving their lives.
But they'd lost.
The master of evil had won, breaking the brothers' spirits, destroying their will to fight. Sam had lost a beloved sister, but Dean had lost something more. Every day, he nearly drowned in the regret filling his head that he'd never told her how important she was to him, how much he needed her by his side.
After seemingly endless days of grief, Dean was swallowed by something else: revenge. Every waking moment was spent thinking of every way to make the enemy regret ever hurting her, making them wish they'd never dared crossing the path of the Winchesters, the angel, and their beloved sister and friend.
Nearly three months after they'd lost Ari, Dean and Sam left, leaving Castiel at the bunker and taking off on a two week trip, clearing the state of anything against them.
They returned weary and wounded, dragging themselves from the Impala to the living room and collapsing on the worn couch. The only sound was the shower running as Sam and Dean stared at the wall, Dean taking a long pull from the beer at his side. His limbs were heavy with exhaustion, his shoulders aching deeply, a thick scratch down his back shifting uncomfortably under old bandages. Castiel was taking way too long in that shower, and Dean was about ready to drag him out by the hair when he came from the opposite direction of the bathroom, clumsily eating a donut.
"Cas? What are y-" Dean looked at Cas, then towards the bathroom, then back at Cas.
"If you're here….. then who's in the shower?" Sam said, putting to words what Dean was thinking.
"A friend. She should be returning to greet you soon, it has been a lengthy time of cleaning." Cas said, taking another clumsy bite of donut. Sam and Dean's eyes met from across the room, both of their minds clearly going to the same place. Neither of them wanted to say anything, for they knew if they put it to words, they'd have to face reality. But still…. the lingering thought that Crowley could've let her live, that she could've escaped haunted them both.
The shower shut off, and five minutes later, the door opened and footsteps were heard, coming down the hall towards them.
"Cas?" A soft voice, one that made Dean think of the ocean at night, of lazy nights in the Impala, soft voices whispering of deep thoughts, of collapsing in hotel rooms after long chases and silent conversations from across rooms.
Its not her. It can't be. No way Crowley could've let her live. She's gone, and there'll never be anyone like her again.
Then she was there, turning the corner and freezing, still running a towel through her wet black hair. An enormous grin split her face, making her dark eyes sparkle and her dimples appear as she dropped the towel.
Sam was there first, completely enveloping her in a bear hug, lifting her a foot off the ground, and smiling disbelievingly into her hair as she laughed into his shoulder. When he finally let her go, leaning down to kiss her forehead, her eyes turned to Dean.
He studied her like she was the last thing on Earth. Her hair was limp with wetness, not even reaching her shoulders, her eyes dark and sparkling, her soft lips curled into an impossibly wide smile, pure joy in every line of her body. She was just the same as ever. Then Dean looked closer, noticing the way she favored one foot, the bandages he could see where her hoodie had been lifted a bit, the tiny scars on her face that hadn't been there before. She'd been through a lot, he could tell that much.
But she was still his Ari.
He didn't even remember deciding to cross the room when he was suddenly embracing her, his arms wrapping around her tiny waist, pulling her body to his like she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen. Which she was. All his weariness and pain melted away as he held her. He could feel her tears wetting his shirt where she'd buried her face in his shoulder. Her bare feet were ten inches off the ground, her arms flung around his neck as she breathed him in, clinging to him as he was to her.
Dean didn't know how long they stayed that way, but when they finally separated, Sam and Cas had disappeared. He set her gently on the ground, and she swallowed the groan that threatened to come from her mouth as a fiery jet of pain went through her leg. When Ari lifted a hand to run it through Dean's mussed hair, she noticed the blood on it.
"Are you-" she spun Dean around and saw the line across his back where blood had soaked through the flannel. "Dean! Come here. Lemme take care of you." She said, in the same reprimanding tone she'd used every other time she'd patched him up after a bad fight. Ari took his hand and led him down the hall to the bathroom, where the first aid kit was.
She pulled a chair in, and he sat on it backwards so she could reach his back. He peeled off his shirts, dropping them in a bloody pile on the floor. Ari carefully cleaned the wound, then numbed it, skillfully closing the wound and bandaging his torso. She worked in silence, and Dean studied her in the mirror, the tiny line that appeared between her eyebrows as she focused, the way she bit her lip in empathy when she had to pull a little hard on the thread or clean out a particularly sore part of the wound. He still couldn't believe that she was actually here, still waiting for himself to wake up on the floor of a warehouse, in a hotel, the back of the Impala with an aching hole in his chest, but she really was here, her small hands on his skin.
When she finished bandaging, her fingers expertly rubbed into the sore muscles into his shoulders, melting the stress and tightness away with her careful, cool fingers. He closed his eyes, dropping his head into his hands. The exhaustion had returned and he felt as if he was going to drop dead. Ari seemed to sense this as she ran her fingers idly through his hair, cleaning up the mess and putting the first aid case back into the cupboard and taking Dean's hand again. Without a word, she led him to his room, bringing extra blankets to his bed as he pulled on sweatpants in the closet. When she returned with painkillers, he was already lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head and studying the ceiling. She gave him the medicine and as she turned to leave, Dean caught her hand, communicating his wish through his pleading gaze. Ari silently crawled over him to the other side of the bed, sliding under the blankets. He pulled her into his side, and she rested her head on his chest. Dean idly played with her hair as she closed her eyes, relaxing against him. Contentment rolled over him. He realized he hadn't even kissed her. Strangely, he didn't even want to. He would've, but he was perfectly happy just holding her here, reassuring himself that she was here and in his arms, her steady breathing the most comforting sound he'd ever heard.
When Dean finally fell asleep, calm, sweet dreams enveloped him welcomingly, taking him back to that night on the beach, to the night they'd whispered about dreams and wishes til the wee hours, not wanting to wake Sam, to singing wildly to songs in the Impala, driving down endless highways towards wherever the family business called them.
Morning came and passed, and when Dean woke up at three in the afternoon, the first thing he noticed was that Ari was not next to him. For a single terrifying moment, he wondered if it really had all been a terrible dream, but then he heard her singing in the kitchen, a sound he never thought he'd hear again. He stumbled into the kitchen, following the smell of pancakes and bacon, the sounds of Ari twirling and singing in the way he'd always loved to watch. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes watching her dance about in her baggy pajama pants, the ones with owls on them, before she noticed him, before she twirled toward him and pulled him into her dance. He rested his hands on her hips, dipping her as she sang to him.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You never know, dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away
I'll always love you, and make you happy,
If only you will say the same.
Sam chose this moment to come stumbling in, rubbing his eyes like a kid.
"I smelled food." He explained tiredly. Ari laughed, a clear, wonderful sound, and finished pouring juice and dropping a huge stack of pancakes on a plate for Sam, drenching them in syrup and butter and adding a pile of greasy bacon and slamming them on the table in front of him. Sam grinned, poking Ari in the stomach and making her giggle before flopping into his chair and digging in. "You haf no idear how gladsh I am that you back, Ari." He said through an enormous mouthful of pancakes. Dean laughed at his brother and started putting pancakes on another plate for himself, but Ari stopped him.
"I've got something better for you, mister." she said, smiling mischievously and opening the oven to reveal an enormous apple pie, gooey filling leaking from the golden crust. "Go sit down!" she said, pushing Dean toward the table, where he stumbled into a chair in a dream like put the pie in front of him and emptied an entire can of whipped cream on top, and putting an enormous glass of milk to the side. Before Dean picked up his fork, he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hoodie. She laughed and ran a hand through his hair, like she always did. Then Dean switched his attention to the slice of heaven before him, shoveling half the pie into his mouth in the first bite. After an hour, Sam and Dean had finally finished eating, and sat groaning around the table, nursing full stomachs while Ari did the dishes, singing again. Dean didn't think he'd ever been happier in all his life.
After Ari had finished singing, all three of them went to the living room, Sam dropping into his chair while Ari and Dean picked a movie. Once it started, Dean pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.
Before the movie was even halfway over, they were all asleep.
When Cas walked through the living room later, Sam sprawled in his chair and drooling a bit, Ari lying on top of Dean, her head on his chest and his fingers laced together around her waist, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He didn't think he'd ever understand humans.
Sam, Dean, and Ari woke up at a slightly more reasonable time the next morning. Ari had been woken up by nightmares spawned by the pain shooting through her body, which had woken Dean, when she'd jerked awake, and Sam woke himself up by falling out of his chair.
"You okay?" Dean whispered into Ari's hair. She nodded, a complete lie of course, and bit her lip to keep from moaning as she shifted to a sitting position. "Doesn't look like it." He said. "My turn to take care of you." his voice not allowing for argument, he scooped her up and took her to the doctor chair in the bathroom.
"Where does it hurt?" he asked, sitting on his knees in front of the chair and studying her.
"My ankle was broken, and I've still got a nasty scrape on my leg." Ari explained, knowing it was useless to try to convince him she was fine.
"And what else?" Dean asked, not fooled by her.
Ari sighed. "I've got a scratch on my back too."
"That all?" Dean said, not sure.
"Yeah. Rest of it's healed by now." Ari explained. She peeled off her polka dot socks and rolled up her sweatpants to reveal the thick, red stained bandage around her leg. Dean winced as he unrolled it, revealing a definitely nasty scrape. He cleaned it up, a little more clumsily than Ari had done, but still decently, stitching rebandaging. Ari pulled her sweatshirt off and rolled her undershirt up, exposing the lower half of her torso. Bandages swallowed her waist, the red stain a stark contrast to her soft white skin. Dean delicately undid these bandages, furrowing his eyebrows in worry at the sight. It was a thick scratch, starting at her spine in the middle of her back, wrapping around, over her hip bone and ending near her belly button. He didn't want to know what she'd fought that would do this to her. Mostly he wanted to kill it, but at the moment, he knew he had to take care of her right now.
"This is pretty bad Ari." he said under his breath.
"You should see the other guy." She said, trying to lighten the mood so he wouldn't worry about her. Dean cracked a fake smile, still worrying, wishing he could only have been there to stop her from getting hurt, to protect her and take care of her. As he re-bandaged her, he swore to himself then that he'd never let her fight alone again, that he'd always be there to take care of her, help her fight these demons so she'd never have to suffer again.
"Ari….what did they do to you?" he asked, his fingers ghosting over overlaying scars on her back, marring her perfect smooth white skin.
"Well you know, we went to a couple parties, saw a couple new movies." she tried to joke. Dean knew Ari hated talking about herself or anything to do with herself, didn't want to be worried about or fussed over. But that wasn't going to stop him.
"Ari." he stopped her.
"I don't want to talk about it, Dean." she said, not able to look at him. "I was so alone….it was so dark…I thought I was going to die." her voice broke and she hastily wiped away a tear threatening to fall down her face. Dean scooped her into his arms, stroking her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder, letting herself go, releasing all the pain and fear and worry that had been all she'd known the past months. He kissed her hair, letting her cry. After she'd quieted, Dean started rocking back and forth, his voice low as he started her song.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You never know, dear, how much I love you.
Ari's soft voice joined him.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Dean lurched awake, the sound of dream Ari's voice echoing in his head. He looked around, still dazed from being unconscious. It was just a dream. A beautiful, precious dream. It ripped the hole in his chest even wider, the gaping abyss here his heart used to be, before it was stolen by Arianna Pelting, before it died with her. Dean pushed himself into a sitting position, groaning, but the physical pain he felt was nothing, absolutely nothing compared to the agony in his chest. It felt like he was caving in on himself. Every cell in him yearned for her to be here beside him, in his arms, touching him and comforting him like she always did. But she wasn't. And she never would be again.