A/N: First post in almost a year? I'm happy to finally have something to post. It's no edited because I don't have a beta or anything at the moment, and depending on how bad some of the errors are that I've missed, I think I'll just try to do my best. But if my best just isn't good enough, then I'll find someone to do it. Anyway, please do read and review, it's just a small one shot and I hope you enjoy it.

Dead Man Walking

Edward Cullen

I was pacing the floor of my old bedroom of my parents home, redialing my best friend's number for the thousandth time since she sent a text telling me she couldn't come to my wedding.

'Hi, you've reached Bella Swan. I can't come to the phone right now, but if this is important please leave a message or call my office.'

"Bella, it's me again. I've tried calling your damn office, but I'm not getting anywhere. Please return my call, I'm getting married in a week and I want my best friend here. Please Bella, call me at least if nothing else." I hung up my phone and threw it across the room, I sat down on my bed and looked around me. The best part of my childhood, teenage years were in this bedroom, all had been with Bella.

Including my first. Hell all my firsts had been with Bella, my first crush, my first kiss, my first date, my first love.

And all through that we had remained friend's, we had been inseparable until college, and just when I thought I might have her back she goes and accepts an editing job in New York. Then she goes and publishers a book, and now I'm lucky to see her at Christmas, Birthdays, or anything else remotely important.

I had met my future wife in college, Heidi Deanna. She was in my poetry class, she had written a piece that was beautiful and moving. When I read my own poem she had approached me and we just hit it off, now that I think of it, it was just after I met her that Bella and I started to talk less and less.

I looked down at the watch Bella had gotten me for graduation and smiled, back then everything had been so easy. And even after we broke up, we still managed to be friends, until the real world pulled us further apart.

Heidi had been jealous of my relationship with Bella, and had even made me choose between them. That had been our first fight, Heidi came back a week later and apologized and said she just didn't understand how we were so close.

My mother had said that it was normal for girls to be intimidated by others, and that she simply needed to know Bella to see that she was no threat. And so I took Heidi for a weekend away to visit Bella in Jacksonville where she was studying.

I had meant for it to be a surprise, so I didn't tell Bella about Heidi being with me. Which I guess I should've done because it was really awkward, especially since Bella had thrown herself into my arms and squealed about how much she missed me.

Yeah not the best way for your girlfriend to meet your best friend/ex-girlfriend. Of cause Heidi didn't know about that last part, but she did by the end of the weekend thanks to Bella's new best friend, Rosalie's big mouthed boyfriend Emmett.

There was a knock on the door and my baby sister walked in. "Your fiancé is looking for you, Edward. Are you okay?"

I nodded running a hand over my face. "Yeah, Bella just won't return my calls, texts, emails or anything else. I'm getting married in a week, Alice. I thought that my best friend would want to be here for me."

"Did you really expect her to come?" Alice asked looking at me like I was an idiot. "Put yourself in her shoes, Edward..."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked irritated.

She sighed walking to kneel in front of me. "It means how would you feel if your best friend, and the person you never stopped loving was going to marry somebody that wasn't you. Would you be able to stand in the crowd and watch?"

I stared at Alice blinking a few times, before shaking my head. "Your wrong, Bella and I don't feel like that any more. We broke up."

"Just because you break up with somebody doesn't mean your feelings go away." Alice said taking my hands in her tiny ones. "Bella's not coming, Edward. Stop making this harder for her, and go down stairs and be with your future wife and family."

Alice stood to leave but I grabbed her hand. "You've talked to her, haven't you?"

Alice's blue eyes filled with tears as she nodded. "She's my best friend too, Edward."

I let go of her hand and felt all the energy leave me, she could return Alice's calls but no my own. I stood walking over to my bedroom window, out in the back yard gathered my family, future wife and her family all gathering for an outdoor family dinner.

I had thought Alice left but instead she came and stood beside me. "Bella loves you, Edward, she never stopped. But she loves you enough to let you go for good. The only question is, do you love Heidi enough to let Bella go forever?"

And then she just left, leaving me to my thoughts. It should've been an easy choice, but it was painful. And one I never thought I'd have to make, one I wasn't sure if I could make. I loved Heidi, she was smart, kind, beautiful, perfect and the sex was- pleasurable. Easy.

Bella was my best friend, she was kind to everyone she met, she was flawed like and I could be me when I was around her, she was funny and easy to be around. She could turn the darkest of days around with just a smile. Whenever she was around you could count on it being an interesting dinner. When she walked into a room, my heart would skip a beat and my hands would get sweaty. And the sex though it's been a long time, it had always been great, adventurous.

"Edward?" Heidi cried from down the hall. "Honey where are you?"

I sighed shoving my thoughts away and headed out to my future wife. When I saw her, I smiled and kissed her cheek. "Sorry, I was on the phone with Jinks."

Great, now I was lying. We're going to have a great marriage.

"Is everything okay?" she asked placing her hand on my chest, straightening my tie.

I nodded taking her hands. "Everything is as it should be."

Morning Of The Wedding

"Edward, do you need help getting ready?" My mother asked walking into my bedroom expecting to find me dressed in my suit that currently laid on my bed. "Honey, why aren't you dressed?"

I spun my computer chair around to face her, I had a bottle of scotch on the desk and full glass in my hand. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing." I begged looking up at my mother.

"Oh sweety." she sighed walking over to stand in front of me, she took my glass of scotch and put it on the table. "I can't tell you what to do."

"Of cause you can, you've been telling me what to do my whole life." I insisted taking her hands in mine, begging her with my eyes. "Please, tell me what to do? I can't breathe, and I don't know what the hell to do. Bella's not here, and I- I can't breathe."

She grabbed my spare chair and pulled it over to us, she sat down holding my hands in her tiny warm ones. "It's natural to be nervous on your wedding day, your father was a sweating mess 24 hours before our wedding."

I sighed shaking my head. "I'm not nervous about getting married, I'm nervous because I don't know if I should be marrying Heidi."

"Who else would you rather marry?" Mom asked with a raised eyebrow with a glimmer of hope in her eyes, I shook it off thinking I was seeing things.

"It doesn't matter." I whispered standing from my chair and walking over to my suit. "I'm marrying Heidi, she's going to be my wife, the mother of my unborn children, the grandmother of my grandchildren the next Mrs. Edward Cullen... she's the one. She's the one." I whispered over and over to myself.

"Is she though, Edward?" My mother asked from behind me. "Or is it Bella?"

I turned to her with tears welling in my eyes. "I don't know."

"Well you'd better figure it out before it's to late." Mom said kissing my cheek. "Until then, you'd better get dressed. The bride will not be pleased if your late."

I nodded turning back to my suit, I picked it up and headed for the bathroom. I changed into the suit and exited the bathroom to find my best friend standing by the window with my glass of scotch in his hand.

"Do you remember the summer we met?" Jasper said looking back at me with a laugh. "You and Alice had come over to the Swan's, and you saw me with Bella. You were so jealous, it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. A lot has changed, and I can honestly say I'm happy I met you, Edward. Your my best friend, and I'm honored you chose me to be your best man."

"How was I supposed to know you were her cousin." I smiled walking over and taking the scotch from his hands. "I'm glad I met you too, Jasper. I couldn't have asked for a better friend, but can we stop talking about Bella and the past, no offense."

He nodded in understanding. "What do guys talk about before they get hitched?"

I shrugged throwing back the scotch handing him the empty glass. "Fucked if I know, I need another drink. Do you think you could handle that while I try and find the rings... I lost them last night when I got home from the bachelor party."

He laughed. "You lost the rings? Oh god, your had better find them, you've got three hours before you become a dead man walking."

2 hours later

"I FOUND THEM!" I yelled down the hall.

"Where the hell were they?" Jasper asked fixing up his hair, before throwing me the brush. "We've got an hour to get downstairs, guests are arriving and you need to meet and greet."

I sighed fixing my hair, and straightening myself up before I handed Jasper the rings. "Don't lose them or we'll both be dead man walking."

He chuckled putting them inside his coat. "Don't worry, I got your back."

"Good to know." I smirked before I began for the door, I got to the bottom of the stairs before I stopped causing Jasper to run into me. "Give me a minute."

He nodded setting his hand on my shoulder. "Take all the time you need."

I took in another deep breath before I took the last step as a free man. I squared my shoulders and headed out the back door shaking hands, smiling and receiving congratulations and good luck from everyone. Bella's father was in the front row with my parents, he was my god-father so he was of cause invited much to Heidi's liking.

"Hello son, how you feeling?" Charlie asked setting a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder. His wife Sue standing beside him with their two younger sons, Seth and Jacob and daughter Leah.

"I'm good, nervous, but good." I said lightly punching the boys shoulders in greeting, they grinned back at me and Leah hugged me. Leah looked a lot like her sister but the pair were like night and day, for those who didn't know Leah as well as I did would jump to the conclusion she was a bitch.

And she was. But she loved me, so I got hugs instead of death glares.

"No time for hugs, Lee-Lee." Jasper said tapping his watch. "The bride is here, and we need to get up to the altar."

I felt myself stop breathing, I can do this. "Are you alright son?" Carlisle asked eyeing me with concern.

I made a squeaky sound. "Of cause. Why wouldn't I be, I'm- I'm getting married."

"Breathe son." Charlie said eyeing me with sympathy. "It'll all be okay, once you see her walking down that aisle it'll all just seem fall into place."

"Right, it'll all be worth it." I muttered as I walked away. "Just get through this... it's not a mistake, it's the right thing. I love her, I can do this..."

"Pull yourself together." Jasper said as we took our place on the platform, he handed me a flask and I shot an appreciating smile at him before I took a swing of the whisky. I handed him back the flask as the music started and wiped my mouth, and threw in a piece of bubble gum to cover the smell.

As Heidi stepped out of the house and onto the carpet, I had to admit that she looked truly beautiful, but I wasn't seeing her walking towards me. I was seeing Bella.

She looked beautiful in her simple white gown, I had never seen anything so beautiful. She looked like she was gliding down the aisle. Her brown eyes staring into mine as she clang to her fathers arm so she wouldn't trip in typical Bella style.

When she finally reached me, she placed her hand in mine and I was the happiest, luckiest man alive.

Until I was brought back to reality, when Heidi's hand was placed in mine by her father. I felt sick, but I swallowed my fear and smiled at my bride. The priest asked who gave the bride, and her father replied but I was deaf in the moment. It seemed I was deaf and on auto pilot through the whole thing until I was asked to say I do. I opened my mouth to say the two words, but for the life of me, I couldn't say the words. Heidi stood waiting for me looking at me questioningly.

"Edward, what's wrong? Say it." she whispered sending a panicked look to the guests.

I shook my head stepping back, dropping her hands. "I- I can't, I'm so sorry, I thought I could but I can't." I rushed before I turned and practically ran down the aisle and into the house, out the front door and into the woods taking me to my old meadow...

In the last 5 years that I had been with Heidi I had never told her about this place, only Bella, Alice, and Jasper knew about the meadow. I ripped off my jacket and unbuttoned the first few buttons and ripping off my tie.

My phone was in my pocket, and I pulled it out dialling her number again. Of cause I got voice mail, but I just hoped she'd check it.

"Bella, I couldn't do it, I couldn't marry somebody that isn't you." I cried into the phone. "I thought I could, but when she was walking down that aisle all I could see was you. I pictured you, Bella. You on your fathers arm, smiling at me, I can't live without you, I never want to live without you..."

"It's a good thing you'll never have too." I stood spinning around to see her, she walked over to me, lifting her hand to my cheek, tears rolling down her own. "I tried not to come, but all I could think was my best friend was getting married and I wasn't going to be here to see it. I owed it to you to be here."

I shook my head taking her hands in mine, resting my forehead to hers. "You owe me nothing, Love. I owe you everything, I was such an idiot to let you go. I was an idiot. But I'll never make the same mistake twice."

"Promise?" she asked looking up at me with love in her eyes.

"I promise." I whispered lifting her chin to kiss her, for the first time in years I felt whole, and I knew it was right. I had the right woman in my arms, and I would never let her go.

The End

AN: Thanks for reading Dead Man Walking, please remember to review and let me know what you thought.