A/N: Meant to have this out sooner but my sister took me with her to church, and can I just say, never in my 20 years of existence did I expect a priest to say 'son of a bitch' (actually its equivalent in my mother tongue) during homily. He was telling a story about a really angry cab driver but whatever, I was half-expecting Jesus to climb down from the cross and put a hand over his mouth.

Anyway, this fic is based off on Britt's line in 4.01: "You can't scissor with a webcam." This is set in the GCC-verse, which is pretty much canon (save for Santana's pet dog that was given by Britt). Enjoy!

Sometimes Just Skype Ain't Enough

05 Sep 8:45 pm

"Britt, why are you in the living room?" Santana's brow was furrowed at her from the screen.

"Uhm, I'm using Katie's desktop computer. Lord Tubbington sat on my laptop and now the screen is all funky." She glanced around at her family assembled in the living room, laughing at something on the TV.

Santana's face fell. "Couldn't you just borrow your mom's laptop or something?"

"San, that thing belongs to the upper Palaeolithic Age. It doesn't even have a webcam."

"But I miss you already. And it's been absolute hell without you here with me, Britt-britt," Santana whined, sounding a bit like her dog Lucy when she whines, and Brittany would have liked to tease her about it, but she looked really sad.

"I miss you too, San, but we're talking now so..." she smirked, and Santana didn't hide her disappointment. "Anyway, my dad is getting my laptop repaired."

"Britt..."

"What? We're talking. My dad said it would cost an arm and a leg for my laptop repairs." She pouted at Santana. "Is there any way you could ask your dad for some spare limbs at the hospital? You know, like from the amputees there? I heard they just incinerate them anyway."

Santana snorted. "He just meant it was expensive, Britts."

"Oh," she said, sheepish. "Let's just wait until they've gone to sleep. And then—" she teasingly dropped her voice, "—we could scissor." She nervously looked behind her shoulder at her parents, but they were still busy watching, thankfully.

Santana's eyes widened a bit at that. "Sure thing, Britt-Britt."

05 Sep 11:36 pm

Brittany was incredibly worried. She was reading Electrical engineering textbooks as she waited for her family to go to bed.

"Hi," she said as she sat down in front of Katie's computer. It was dark in the living room, and her father's snores could be heard. She briefly wondered how her mom put up with him all these years.

"You're back at last. I missed you," Santana purred, leaning forward and pressing her lips to her webcam. Brittany smiled at that and did the same. Santana giggled, and the sound was music to her ears. She missed her so, so much!

"I missed you too, San." She worried her lower lip between her teeth.

"What's wrong, B?"

"Uh, I just found out that you can't scissor a webcam." She sighed. "I can't do that, I might get electrocuted, which, however it might sound, won't be so cute at all. You know water and electricity don't mix right? And you make me so wet, even by just looking at you, sitting there in a kitten-patterned onesie—" But the zipper was pulled dangerously low, and she could see the swell of Santana's magnificent breasts and oh God, why is her throat suddenly dry? She had to get back on track and explain. "—anyway, being wet lowers my body's resistance to only 800 ohms, and then it would be easier for the current to go through my body and—"

"Britt, slow down," Santana was grinning at her as she played with the zipper on her onesie.

"You're just so sexy and it sucks that I couldn't jump your bones right now." Her voice had lowered into a husk. "I couldn't jump your bones through the webcam either. It's times like this that I wish I were Sadako so I could go through the screen and—"

Santana chuckled. "For other people that would be terrifying but I'm sure you'd be a really adorable ghost Britts."

"Thanks San. Anyways, after some thinking, I figured we could scissor, uhm, sorta metaphorically? We can't actually scissor anyway, even if I risk electrocution, so..." she reached for two scissors and showed it to Santana, one in each hand: one had a black handle and the other had a yellow one.

"I'm incredibly jealous with those two scissors right now."

"I know right? Me too, San. Me too."

07 Sep 6:03 pm

"Yay! Got my laptop back!" Brittany excitedly squealed over the phone.

"Good to know Britts, now we could have some, uh, private time."

"I was thinking of scissoring my laptop webcam actually since it isn't plugged into an outlet anyway because it makes use of DC voltage from its battery, but the screen is like razor-thin? And I'm afraid I'm gonna cut myself there. I don't want a new vagina. It's fine the way it is right now."

08 Sep 6:21 am

"Good morning, babe," Santana looked a bit exhausted as she grinned at Brittany.

"Morning to you, too. Last night was—amazing."

"I know, Britts. Thanks."

"As Avril Lavigne would say, I wish you were here so I could actually perform that lap dance on your lap."

Santana visibly swallowed as she remembered last night. "Don't worry; I'll be driving back to Lima soon."

"Are you?" She couldn't contain her excitement. She wished it was roleplay-day again and Santana would wear hear Cards uniform.

"Mmh-hmm. I miss you so much, Just skype-ing with you isn't the same."

It's true. Being apart sucked ass, big time, but they were figuring out ways to make it work.

"How's Lucy by the way?" She suddenly remembered the dog she had given Santana. The whole time they were on Skype, she hadn't heard a single bark in the background. She was suddenly afraid the dog choked on Santana's vibrator or something, like the time the Lopezes' old dog choked on Santana's Ken doll when they were young.

"Uh, she's staying at my mom's." Santana admitted looking rather guilty. "I was so bummed I couldn't bring her here but the school expressly forbids pets in the dorms."

"Weird. Was it specified? 'Cause Lord Byron totally brought a bear with him to Oxford because it wasn't on the list of forbidden pets. Maybe I should get you a duck instead? Well, a baby duck? They're fluffy and cute and I bet they'll make a great cuddle buddy since I couldn't be there."

"Aww, you're sweet, Britt-britt."

"Am I? The first time you went down on me you said I tasted a bit salty?" She smirked at Santana. "But you liked it either way."

09 Sep 7:56 pm

"I wish I were an octopus so I could squeeze your perfectly-round butt, palm your tits, and put my fingers inside of you all at the same time," she said, and Santana nearly sprayed juice all over her screen. She visibly struggled to swallow since apparently, Brittany's remark had caught her off-guard.

Well, what were they discussing before? Oh, something about tacos but even thinking about tacos had made Britt horny and so that spilled out from her mouth. Well, tacos did resemble the female parts a bit—but they didn't taste quite as good as Santana's.

"I haven't forgotten about that article Britt. And though I'm sure you'd make gorgeous and lovable octopus, I'm perfectly content with the two hands you have."

"You could still work your amazing pussy-whispering abilities on me even if I'm an octopus."

"How—what do you mean?"

"It's got –pus at the end, so I'm still gonna be a pussy, and my pussy wants you. Like, right now."

09 Sep 9:17 pm

Brittany's legs were spread out on the bed, her ankles on either side of her laptop so that her glistening core was in full view. She slipped a finger between the folds, and she wasn't at all surprised to find herself utterly drenched. With Santana watching, it made it ten times hotter and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from coming too early.

Santana's jaw was open, watching Brittany touch herself, her own hands anxious to provide her own release. Her left hand pinched her left nipple, and her right hand hovered tantalizingly over the zipper of the criminally short shorts she wore. Brittany could swear she heard Santana moan but she was struggling to keep her breathing in check. Katie and her parents were still awake, and she was a bit afraid that they might come and suddenly check on her, but it somewhat added to the thrill.

"San, uhh," she moaned out, slipping a finger inside and taking it back out, coated in her arousal. Santana's breath hitched as she slipped a hand inside her shorts as well, and Brittany closed her eyes and lets her imagination run wild.

Santana's head is buried between her legs, her tongue warm and soft like velvet, or liquid fire (it didn't have to make sense) licking at her purposefully and slowly and Brittany groaned in pleasure. She curled her fist into dark hair, forcing Santana's head closer so that her nose is squished against her throbbing clit.

Her hips canted upwards of their own volition, and she slipped another finger in as her thumb stroked her clit, where she needed it the most. All that could be heard are their moans, and she cracked an eye open, thus breaking the illusion of Santana going down on her, but what she saw was infinitely better than what she was imagining.

Santana was naked now, her right hand gripping and squeezing as her breast while her left was between her legs, stroking herself rapidly. Her amazing body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, and her mouth was open, gasping and moaning obscenities in a mixture of English and Spanish.

It was enough to send her over the edge with Santana's name on her lips. But as she did so, she threw her head back more forcefully than she had intended, thus hitting her headboard.

The last thing she heard before everything went black was Santana crying out her name in the throes of pleasure, "Brittany!"

09 Sep 9:42 pm

She was woken up by Santana frantically screaming at her through the screen and her parents knocking loudly on her door. Thankfully, she hadn't forgotten to lock it this time.

"Britt, honey, is everything alright?" her mother's voice called out. With a jolt, she realized her state of undress.

"Yes mum, I just... Lord Tubbs jumped off the bed," she answered as she scrambled to put on her sweatpants.

"Okay. Good night, hon."

"Night mom."

She turned back to Santana, breathing a sigh of relief. "That was close."

"I thought something happened. You were knocked out. Are you sure you're alright, Britt-britt?" Santana's brow was knitted in worry, and Brittany noticed that she was fully-clothed now, but not by much.

"I'm okay San. Just hit my head but it was so amazing. I literally saw stars. Sex with you even from a distance is amazingly mind-blowing."

"Are you sure you haven't got a concussion?" She still looked worried.

"I'm okay San. Promise." She held up her pinkie for good measure. Santana smiled.

"Guess we'll just have to be careful next time."

10 Sep 10:23 am

Brittany was doodling on her notebook when her phone vibrated.

So horny ryt now b

Brittany nearly choked on her gum as she furtively read Santana's text while Mr. Schue droned on and on about conjugation and the like. Brittany didn't really need to attend Spanish since she was quite fluent in it—courtesy of nightly (well, now not so nightly) sexcapades with Santana.

Of course ure horny ure a unicorn san :)

She knows what Santana meant, of course, but she just wanted to tease her. Also, she was determined to graduate this year, and being a squirming mess in her seat won't help her achieve that. Santana can wait.

"Santana can wait," she whispered to herself. Sam, her seatmate, cast her an odd look.

I'm touching myself rn, thinking of u.

She swallowed as the unwelcome warmth of arousal started pooling between her legs. She turned her eyes back onto the board and joined the class in repeating whatever was written on it. Her phone vibrated again, and she struggled to ignore it, but curiosity overcame her anyway.

God im so wet b, omg i need ur tongue down there to suck my juices off. I need u to fuck me b. Fuck me so hard i won't walk for ages. Please, i need u

She pinched her legs together in order to stave off the feeling of need that had began an earnest throbbing. She imagined Santana lying on her bed in her dorm room, naked and touching herself—her fingers disappearing into her glistening core—and she felt flush rising up her cheeks.

"Are you okay, Britt?" Sam whispered at her, his eyes flicking to her phone which she held in a death grip.

She could only grunt in response as her phone vibrated again.

B i need u like ryt now. Im so so wet, my fingers go ryt in. My nipples are so hard i want u to suck them

"Holy shit," Sam gasped when he read the message over her shoulder. She fixed him a glare for invading her privacy, but internally she was grateful. At least she was aware again of where she was.

cnt san im in class

It's so not fair! She's going to get back at Santana for this. Santana was getting her all hot and bothered even with the knowledge that she's in class and therefore have no way of getting herself off. The janitor's closet didn't seem like a fun place anymore, especially now that Santana was no longer here.

Ooh im so close uh, call me now b

Her resolve crumbled and she stood up, excused herself from a puzzled Mr. Schue and made her way to her car.

As soon as she called her, Santana answered with pants and moans that were slowly devolving into a keening whine, signalling that she was close. Her own parts were throbbing with need and aching with neglect, and the sounds Santana were making nearly sent her off over the edge.

Needless to say, when they were both done, Brittany had needed to take a midday shower in the blessedly empty Cheerios locker room in order to cool off.

Later that day, she received the best news she had all week.

"Fuck it, B, I'm coming over this weekend."

15 Sep 9:30 am

"I'm thinking of abandoning my time-machine project," Brittany whispered as she lay flush against Santana. It was incredibly cute that Santana insists on being the bigger spoon even though she was smaller than her. "Or maybe, I should put it in hiatus for a while?"

"Why? You couldn't get weapons-grade plutonium, or uranium or some shit?" Santana ran her hand up and down her side and Brittany snuggled closer to her.

"I have that already. Got it off on eBay. And I don't use just 'some shit' San. I'm specifically using my cat Charity's poop."

"Cool. But wouldn't that be a waste? Abandoning that project now?"

"It can wait San. I'm now trying to figure out how we could scissor through a webcam."

"Hmm," Santana hummed against her neck and it sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. "Well, I'm here right now, so how about you postpone figuring out how to do that and actually scissor right now?"

Brittany turned around so quickly and caught Santana's lips in a kiss.

"That's a capital idea, San."

End

Apologies if what little of the smut isn't up to your standards. I'm still kinda learning how to write smut.

As always, I'd love to hear (rather, read) about your thoughts, especially constructive criticism! Please review.