Sharon was frustrated. At the situation. At the words, or lack there of. At the way the blonde had just walked away from her earlier. Sharon sighed and hit the down button for the elevator. It had been a long day.
That morning Brenda had been on the phone with her mother, speaking in hushed tones. Sharon hadn't been paying that much attention, more focused on getting ready for the day and applying the proper amount of mascara across her eyelashes. As she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her purse about fifteen minutes later, Brenda was still talking with her mother. Sharon kissed the blondes cheek and headed out the door, again not paying any attention to the words being said.
After two agonizing meetings Sharon was sitting at her desk insanely jealous of Brenda's day off. But she was glad she took the day off. The blonde worked hard and carried a lot of stress, it was good for her to take time for herself. Sharon was in the middle of personnel reports for this quarter when her cell phone rang. It was Brenda calling to ask if Sharon had time to have lunch with her at one of their favorite restaurants. Sharon almost always had time for Brenda, and when she didn't she'd make sure to set up something to do with her later to make it up to her.
Sharon walked into the restaurant and immediately spotted Brenda at 'their' table. It was the table Brenda always requested, nestled between the large wall of windows and the stage for live music nights. When Brenda saw her the smile Sharon received was bright and genuine. That smile never ceased to make her heart falter.
They ordered and talked about their days. When their food arrived they ate in comfortable silence. Well, comfortable on Sharon's end. Brenda had something to ask Sharon.
When she'd gotten the call from her mother, Brenda wasn't initially worried. She and her mother talked once or twice every couple of weeks. Either to make small talk or for Willie Rae to catch Brenda up on all the goings on of the Johnson family and of the greater Atlanta area.
After Brenda had divorced Fritz, she had been more than willing to tell her mother about her relationship with Sharon. That had been four years ago and now that the idea had settled in, her mother wanted her to- oh god. How would she even- What if Sharon didn't WANT to. Not only that, what if she loathed the idea.
It had to be done. She had to ask. If only to tell her mother how much Sharon did NOT want to spend her favorite holiday with the Johnson family, and how she now thought Brenda was being ridiculous. That they'd had perfect holidays with Em, Ricky, and Rusty over the last four years and why should she change things now.
After hanging up with her mother Brenda couldn't relax. She'd immediately called Sharon and asked her to lunch.
"Okay spill." Sharon said, not looking up from her desert menu. "What's up?"
"What makes you think somethings up?" Asked the blonde hesitantly.
Sharon just looked up and arched her finely shaped eyebrow at her. That was answer enough for Brenda, who knew that Sharon could read and interpret her body language with insane accuracy.
"Okay, well I had a talk with my mama today."
Brenda spoke slowly at first and then rushed to say the next bit before nerves clamped her jaw shut. "She wanted to know if we could make it down to Atlanta for Christmas this year." Brenda shoveled her next bite of food into her mouth quickly, carefully watching Sharon's expression.
Sharon was taken aback. "What?" She asked incredulously, and a little louder than she had intended. No way. Why was Willie Rae asking about this now? Why not some time over the last four Christmases? They always did Christmas with the kids. Always. Well maybe that's why Brenda's mother was asking. She missed her daughters presence around the holidays. Sharon knew Christmas wouldn't be quite the same if one of her kids didn't show up. But she also didn't want to spend Christmas under scrutiny and judgement. She knew the Johnson's had been slow to accept their daughters relationship.
Then again maybe this is them reaching out. This may be their way of saying that they didn't mind so much anymore. Saying that they are putting their problems aside because Brenda was family, and Brenda had chosen her. Maybe this could be the start to even bigger family Christmases, not just the Johnson's or Raydor's. That in and of itself was an improvement from Sharon's point of view. It was a step.
"Never mind. Forget it." Brenda replied quickly. She'd seen the brunettes face right off the bat as she'd processed the information. It screamed 'no way'. Brenda hadn't watched the progression of Sharon's thoughts. She couldn't bare the skepticism she thought she'd see there. Damn it! Brenda knew it wasn't a good idea to ask.
Sharon watched the blondes face harden a bit. It didn't look malicious. It looked like she'd been hurt. Okay Raydor, damage control. One thing at a time.
"Brenda honey-"
"I said forget it. It's not something you wanna do. That's fine, lets drop it." Brenda knew it was harsh but she just wanted to not talk about it, asking was a mistake anyways.
"Now wait just a minute Brenda Leigh, that is not at all what I-"
Brenda's phone began to ring. Of course. Her lieutenants had perfect timing. Brenda grabbed her phone, purse, and jacket and stood up from the table. She swiftly headed out the door. Sharon watched her go, knowing that she was headed to a crime scene, and that the blonde would not have the time or the patience to hear her out.
Sharon had payed the bill and left shortly after Brenda was called out, desert completely forgone. She spent several more hours at work going over case files before deciding to pack it up and head home. She stepped off the elevator and headed for her car.
Her attention had been divided all day. If she had truly upset Brenda then there would be a lot of silent treatment. She didn't want a moody sulky Brenda Leigh. She wanted the Brenda Leigh that would at least fight with her about the issue. Communication was key for Brenda and Sharon's relationship, wether it was with loud words or soft words, or body language. If Brenda stopped communicating then there would be no progress, and the hurt that Sharon had so clearly seen on her face would fester and grow. Sharon wouldn't have it. If Brenda refused to talk to her, she would still say her piece and hope that would assuage Brenda enough for her to at least talk. Even if it was arguing, because that was so much better than silence.
When Sharon got home Brenda's car was in the driveway. She walked into the house and saw that all the lights were off, except the little one above the stove. She toed off her heels in the entryway and hung her keys on the hook by the door. She walked as softly as she could through the house. When she reached the landing at the top of the stairs she could see light from one of the side lamps in their bedroom peeking beneath the door. So Brenda was awake. Sharon took a breath then walked to the door and opened it slowly so that it didn't make that tiny creaking noise.
The sight that greeted her made her stop in the door way. Brenda was not awake after all. She'd fallen asleep with the light on. One hand still held the book she had been reading. Her other arm held Sharon's pillow securely beneath her and she had curled into it as if it was Sharon herself.
Sharon couldn't help the smile on her lips. Her lover looked so adorable. She turned the light off then moved silently to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she finished she walked to her side of the bed and slid in. Taking her queues from Brenda, she grabbed the blondes pillow and tucked it under her head as she turned to face her.
A few moments later the blonde stirred. She leaned up a bit and squinted at her in the darkness.
"Hey you," she said sleepily "I didn't hear you come in."
Sharon chuckled "I think you being asleep had something to do with that."
"It could'a."
So far so good Sharon thought. At least Brenda was talking to her. That was a start.
Sharon sighed then said "Honey, I'm not sure what you thought I was going to say earlier today, but I am positive it is not as bad as you are probably assuming."
"Sharon I don't-"
"No. Tell me what you were thinking." Sharon waited patiently for the blonde to respond.
"It's just that I know you have certain frustrations with my family and I don't want to ruin your favorite holiday by asking you to spend it with them. We've had good, perfect even, holidays here with the kids. There's no need to mix it up now."
" I do have some frustrations with your family, and those are not unfounded. However, I do like them. I think your parents can be charming. I think your brothers can be a bit nosey. But they are your family. Therefore, they are mine as well." Sharon reached out to brush her fingers lightly across the blondes cheek. "And I'm sorry if how I reacted today made you think that I did not like your family, or that you were being ridiculous to ask me. You know you can always ask me anything, honey."
Brenda nodded and took a minute to think about what Sharon had said.
"So...you do want to spend Christmas in Atlanta..?" Brenda asked.
"I've had a lot of time to think today Brenda Leigh. So when it comes down to it I think your parents miss you and I would be very selfish if I said no. I also think that your parents might be having a change of heart in their perspective on our relationship, which makes me want to say yes. In which case I-"
"My god baby, get to the point. I love you but I gotta sleep some time." Brenda said exasperatedly.
Sharon smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Yes, I would love to spend Christmas in Atlanta with you and your family."
"Good. Now let's get some sleep before we hear that someone gott'n trigger happy or turned up missin'." Brenda unceremoniously flung Sharon's pillow out from under her and onto the floor. She assumed her earlier position, but with her head on Sharon's chest and her hair in Sharon's face. Sharon giggled a bit before settling back again and blowing out a mouthful of hair. She kissed the blondes head again. "I love you too."